Building sexual tension and anticipation, teasing, and stimulating her without intercourse is crucial, not just for her enjoyment, but for the overall experience of everyone involved during sex.

Sex and intercourse are not one in the same. Intercourse, which involves penetration, should be viewed as only as a part of the entire act of sex, which involves foreplay—kissing, touching, oral sex, and stimulation with fingers.

Often times, guys will rush right into penetration without the gradual building of sexual tension, without going down on her or using fingers to get her closer to orgasm. They are too influenced by porn, or they let their ego too involved, and believe that jabbing their dick in her pussy in a straight forward motion is the only way to get her off. Some important things to remember—

Fingering and outside stimulation with the fingers: All female orgasm and physical pleasure during sex is derived from the Clitoris, which is a network of nerves throughout the vagina, not just the ‘head’, the piece of flesh near the ‘hood’ of the vagina.

The ‘G-Spot’ is an overly-mythicized cluster of clitoral nerves that is on the upper ‘roof’ of the inside of the vagina (for example, if she is on her back facing you). Using your index and middle finger you can stimulate this area using a ‘come here’ motion, while making contact with this area with your fingers. I’ve also found if you use the same fingers, but use an upward, pulsating motion where you press against the area, like a rapid heartbeat, it works as well.

Combining these ‘G-Spot’ motions while performing oral sex on her while fluttering your tongue on the ‘head’ of the Clitoris give her multiple sensations at the same time and will drive her nuts.

Also, kissing or sucking on her breasts, and kissing her neck while you rub her in the general area around the head of the Clitoris is incredibly effective with building anticipation. Rub your index and middle fingers in a broad semi-rapid clockwise motion around the area, or use the same fingers in a vertical motion.

Getting her close to orgasm or thoroughly stimulated before intercourse occurs is key. Even if she asks for you to penetrate her, wait a few minutes longer. Tell her you’re not done yet. This will benefit you in the end. She will be wetter, more passionate and less inhibited when intercourse occurs.

Focusing on pleasing your woman and embracing foreplay is not ‘simp’ behavior. Guys who say this have no clue about seduction and are posturing to sound dominant. Take your time, and the sex will be better for both of you.