Stop Calling Them Shit Tests: A Real Guide to Passing Any Test a Woman Gives You

InscrutablePUA · 2015-07-28T15:24:18+00:00

Quality post! One thing I would add is that Agree and Amplify is a good fallback response for any type of test precisely because it does what you said which is it shows that you're not bothered by what she thinks of you or the test itself and you're secure in your own person.

thekidbass · 2015-07-28T15:42:52+00:00

I don't believe women shit tests for negative reasons. I believe that it's their natural being and that how a guy responds to it is just a manifestation of his core personality. If you don't let it bother you, then she won't " shit test you". If you don't like something she does, be a man and say that you don't like it. Like Manson says: " Honest Communication."

Sergnb · 2015-07-28T16:48:04+00:00

Your examples of bad responses are unrealistic. Nobody does that shit and id they do they aren't hanging around on seduction forums anyway. "Don't tell people you surf when you don't"?, "don't send a girl 5 messages asking her where she is gone"?, "don't respond aggressively to her light jabs"? Either i'm some kind of natural casanova (hint: i'm not) or those examples are a painting a picture of a straw man that doesn't exist. That's some entry level stuff man, you think someone would be hanging around on seddit while simultaneously asking tinder matches where they are every 3 minutes?

On the other hand, your positive examples, while at the core good in theory, seem also like the type of stuff everyone in here is already trying. "Be cocky/funny but not too much so it doesnt look like an facade to hide insecurities", "disregard more aggressive tests and gently redirect the conversation to a lighter more playful mood", "don't lose your nerves and always maintain your frame because that's what they want to see when they test you". That is seddit 101 right there mate.

I don't know what prompted you to write this guide but this is stuff that has been discussed around seduction communities since their creation.

Does the apparent sexism of the term shit test bother you or something? Because it seems like you only came in here to say "guys everyone tests everyone!". Yeah man, we know that. We call them shit tests. It doesn't mean "test that is meant to give you shit", they are called shit tests because they are meant to reveal shitty behavior that is undesirable in a partner. They aren't mean to smear shit on you, they are meant to lift the rug and see if you have shit swept underneath it that you are trying to hide. And yeah, everybody does do that. We know. Nobody here resents women for testing us. We know it's a natural part of the seduction process. I don't think you've been hanging around here too long if you think that's what we say about shit tests.

Anyway, sorry for the bitchy sarcastic tone of the post, it's just that this post reads like it came from a semi-newbie who thinks he is hot stuff and is condescendingly looking down on everyone else as if they are some kind of misogynistic mentally challenged moron incapable of having normal human interactions. The PUAs you patronizingly put between quotation marks have been saying this stuff for years, and providing better examples to boot. Your point feels more like self ego stroking than genuine advice. "Look at how much better I understand people than you guys. You should stop using this term that has been agreed upon by everyone and nobody has a problem with because it kind of sounds like something an angry basement dwelling neckbeard would say".

nealio1000 · 2015-07-28T23:27:46+00:00

"i know how to play for keeps." This grossed me out to read. I hope no one says that

sixsidepentagon · 2015-07-28T17:49:39+00:00

To emphasize a point you alluded to but I don't think fleshed out, is to not think that any of these things are "tests"; they are only really tests to a person if there's a risk of failure.

To illustrate, I'll use an example from medicine. We test medical students on understanding how to diagnose asthma in the field, sometimes they're wrong, sometimes they're right. But every full doctor should be able to diagnose typical asthma easily; when they see asthma patients no one thinks of it as a "test", it's just routine medicine. But if I were to see a partner fail to diagnose asthma, I may think of them as failing the test.

It's the same with ones confidence. If one is confident, none of these things are "tests", they're just natural questions or situations that one with confidence responds to properly. It's only those with poor confidence that view these situations as "tests". In other words, some of us are still students and that's ok, but our goal is to master or own confidence to the point where we don't view any of this stuff as "tests".

grass_cutter · 2015-07-28T16:28:21+00:00

I never felt shit tests were real.

And your post doesn't help matters a ton. Oh, you say you go surfing (not that fucking far fetched) -- natural human behavior, man or woman, is to take your statement at face value unless something indicates otherwise.

The way your post reads is that women are constantly trying to catch you in a lie, or prove you aren't a two-face, lying, bullshitting cheater. Fuck. Maybe some women who got burned in the past. But fuck. What a way to live. Constantly trying to catch someone in a lie vs. living life.

I just don't believe it exists.

Most of the 'tests' you mention aren't even problems unless you are a serial bullshitter. Which you shouldn't be --- you never went surfing? Who gives a fuck. You played WoW all weekend? I wouldn't lead with that and think video games are a waste of time personally, but own it. And she should be trying to impress YOU. Not in some "fantasy rules of the game" -- no, in reality.

"You know for an ex-marine, you seem to have a real soft side to you, don't you?"

This doesn't seem remotely insulting, but anyway. Yes, there's a time to self-deprecate yourself to show you aren't that serious. Other than that, uh ... don't overthink shit. How about just answer the question honestly, because that's usually the more fun way, and who gives a flying fuck. Don't say you have a soft-side to sound interesting if you don't. If you're hard-ass, you're a hard-ass. If you're an emotional guy, you're an emotional guy.

Fuck. I don't know how you guys constantly think about these 'tests' --- you only live once. Then you're dead for all eternity. Say what's on your mind, not what "women want to hear" -- because no one else will, YOLO, and women will end up fucking you anyway.

Women don't want to fuck the "guy who's a surfer from Harvard who promises this isn't a ONS, for serious" ... they want to fuck a real man who's simply honest about his desires and who he is (and often, has confidence, balls, and ambition to do what he wants to do in life).

EDIT:

Pass response: "Sometimes a player is just a guy who has had some bad experiences in the past. When the right girl comes along, I know how to play for keeps."

This is just blatant bullshit, lol. Well, assuming you actually are a "player." Being upfront with your intentions in any relationship lasting longer then one night is usually best. Though if you're of looser morals, you may hint at "staying in town for a while" with a ONS in some cases (like in Asia).

2015-07-28T18:13:25+00:00

Great examples. I like how your 'pass lines' are a type of agree and amplify that is grounded more in confidence in oneself rather than exaggeration.

EASYWAYtoReddit · 2015-07-28T17:36:11+00:00

I have a long-term girlfriend and we literally talk about how I passed a test within a minute from meeting each other, and she admits that it was essentially game-over from that point on.

We met as alumni on our Homecoming weekend, the first year after we graduated. It was the end of the weekend, and she was just at the bar because one of her old friends was the bartender.

I approached her, and we chatted a bit. Ironically, I was talking about how the bartenders being in the wrong demographic made it a shitty bar despite having a great set-up. She didn't care because I was still being courteous to her friend and tipping well.

I had just been showing my friends something I wrote recently because one of them was a fellow writer. I'd drunkenly shown it to a girl the night before and it worked well despite the kind of ego-grab it could come off as.

My now-girlfriend said she was a writer, too, so I asked her if she wanted to read "the most beautiful thing I'd ever written." Exactly what I'd said the night before.

I handed her my phone before she said yes. I told her I'd already shown it to a few folks. She asked, "Oh, so you've been showing this to all the girls haven't you?"

It was a definite frame-test so I just said "yeah" with a shrug "you really think you're the first girl I've hit on this whole weekend?"

I didn't say it to stroke my ego, or to prove anything. I was calling her out, essentially questioning her frame.

She later said she usually tried to mess with guys that hit her on just to get them off her back, but she'd never had any one just be straight up like that. She always had to be relatively defensive as a big-titted blonde.

I gave her my phone to read it, and told her I was going out for a cigarette, kissed her and said "I'll be back. I mean it's obvious we're spending the rest of the night together, right?" Just left my phone with her while I gave my buddies the drinks I'd been getting for them and went outside with them.

Then bam, that was it. Left with her, took her to my old college spot where I actually only used to go with my buddies to smoke when we were drunk and didn't want to home. She turned out to be cool, more than a one night stand as I thought, and the rest is history.

The fact using something I'd written was kinda lame just didn't matter because I maintained my frame.

DevilMayCry · 2015-07-28T21:44:33+00:00

man, this guys doesn't know what he's talking about.

BelindaBerry · 2015-07-29T07:17:31+00:00

This is brilliant! You should write a book on this subject

sunday_silence · 2015-07-29T04:17:25+00:00

most of this solid gold. Especially the first few examples, much of that is very good.

The one thing that seems obvious to me: he criticizes the term "shit test" because it's not very definitive. Well what the HELL IS MEANT by frame test? I have no idea what that means what are they testing for?

Except other than congruence test, none of these examples explain what traits they are testing for...

Women do test for a lot of traits for sure. One of them is being calm and unflappable. Most of them hate: neediness and clingyness, that's more women's area and the first impression of a man should not be thiss. Not to say never show emotion theres a time and place for everything.

They also test in very subtle ways what you do for living how well of you are etc. I guess they are looking for information, not your emotions, but then they have to ask it very carefully...

I'd like to see a list of tests but with explanation of WHAT IS BEING TESTED FOR? I would start with: emotional balance, quick on his fee, certain information....

2015-07-29T09:14:27+00:00

Pass response: "A little bit, I guess. I'm like a cocky guy but with the substance to back it up".

Argh!

EndOfTheUniverse · 2015-07-29T14:59:53+00:00

If you aren't needy, and you aren't seeking validation from the girl, then a lot of this will come out automatically.

Think about it, you don't learn how to deal with your buddies teasing you by analysing why they did it, you learn to deal with it, because it comes from a natural place of not needing validation from them (because you're already mates, because you care about bigger things etc)

lamyarus · 2015-07-28T16:26:40+00:00

Thank you for this post.

If you respond with resentment, sarcasm, aggression or discomfort, you will fail.

I could not deduce a general answering style to these tests other than being honest and confident. Can you give a general behaviour that we should attain, when dealing with these tests? I mean, even if I am honest and confident, I feel like I fail these kind of tests, because I miss the subtle ones.

wakaflockanerd · 2015-07-28T15:15:55+00:00

Honestly, this is something that aligns perfectly with what I think. Awesome read!

rustypete89 · 2015-07-28T17:07:38+00:00

This is a really good post, but as a resident of Boston for seven years now I had to interrupt my reading to say it's totally rational for someone to ask a Harvard student what it's like to live in Boston. "Boston proper" is actually a relatively small part of the city's scope. Just like New York is made up of Manhattan, Harlem, Brooklyn, etc, Boston is made up of multiple burbs as well. Beyond that, it's not unreasonable at all that somebody might attend Harvard and live in Eastie (East Boston), which is just on the other side of the river from Cambridge.

Ok, weird Townie rant over, back to reading.

hamfraigaar · 2015-07-28T21:28:37+00:00

Why do people keep reposting this stuff from the game? Did all of you skip the part at the end of the book you're quoting, where everything goes to shit and he spends several chapters explaining that GAME DOES NOT WORK ANYMORE. The entire ending of the book was literally: "everyone has figured us out, our techniques don't work, we're doomed, we're being called out on our shit, this is all going the wrong way, Mystery gets suicidal and depressed, we all fight, we lose the house" etc etc?

Why does nobody ever talk about that part of the book? It's like two major key points that everyone misses.

Number one (paraphrased): "Does Mystery Method work?" - "There is no simple answer to that. Mystery Method works - for Mystery. It's not catch all, it's not going to work for everyone. If it doesn't work out for you, then it doesn't work out for you and you should find another method to follow."

This one is especially funny because it was mentioned around one of the points where it stated "there is no magic pill". Yet every key jockey will be quick to jump up and scream: "THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL!!!" But they'll usually follow up with: "however, just follow these steps, they work for everyone."

Number two is that game is dead. Sarging is dead.

A lot of people overlook it because it still works - sometimes. But that's often forgetting the point that, while you may get lucky every once in a while and use a canned phrase that hasn't been used a million times before, you're still forgetting that The Game allowed a struggling entertainer and a freak journalist, both clueless and styleless with tendencies to creep out every woman they came in contact with and party a little too much on a little too many weekdays, to score points with ladies such as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and of course, Styles LTR with the bassist of Courtney Loves band. Call me when that happens to anyone using techniques from Mystery Method in 2015.

It's funny because, once again, people will say: "Mystery told me to work hard! It worked for Style because he had Mystery as a mentor! The important aspect is to figure out the key parts here, and that's hard work without a real life mentor, so I'll just stick to the script and do as the guru says... It's all about hard work, hard work, hard work!.. Except for the part where he tells me to figure out my own techniques for myself, because that's hard work, and I don't want to do any hard work."

I don't mean to shit on your stuff because this is actually one of the useful things to take away from the book. I want everyone to read that, because I'm just ranting, not shitting on anyone here. But I do want to point out that an indifferent "ok" would yield the same results as the pass responses (although it's good to avoid the non-pass responses).

Also - try to notice how 99.9% of all FIELDTESTED!!! Posts are actually just someone who went out for the billionth time just to confirm: yep, this 35 year old technique does yield results - sometimes. It would be great if more people would stop being on the Internet and start reading books. You could pick out any decent pick up book and learn in 10 minutes the same amount of different content that gets posted on the Internet around every 5 years. But people don't want to read books. They will tell you that you should read books, because they're favorite PUA said that's the cool thing to do, but it's just obvious how few follow up on it.m

Mettephysics · 2015-07-28T20:58:03+00:00

Thank you for this beautiful thoughtful post! Would date the hell out of you based on this.

Sincerely A girl

WhiteBoythatCantJump · 2015-07-28T17:05:04+00:00

"You're Cocky, aren't you?"

Pass Response 3: "Yes."

2015-07-28T15:01:29+00:00

Good read. I made the mistake of thinking something was a shit test when she was actually trying to get to know me (where do you work?). The key here is not trying to come up with a witty comeback for each type of test, but rather be in a state so that you can comfortably answer any question, regardless of her intent. Keep your frame no matter what is asked and calibrate whether you need to be cocky/funny or more serious/intimate. Good post.

xenocore · 2015-07-28T21:32:26+00:00

I think that OP is reacting to the label a little hard. But a lot of this was handled by one of our great teachers, Patrice O'Neil. To quote a Black Phillip Rule: Women give you shit, to make sure you ARE the shit.

Nuff said. Partrice has spoken.

PS. Nod to Dante Nero and the Beige Phillip show.

2015-07-28T22:05:07+00:00

Excellent post. A positive, mature perspective on how to build rapport with women rather than just "game the system". I'd be interested in hearing follow up thoughts from you, or others, about what kinds of things men should be testing women for.

Bloody_Smashing · 2015-07-28T22:44:17+00:00

This is solid and a good read, but there are a few holes in it. Your fitness test portion about performance in bed is pretty laughable. Not all men are the same when it comes to sexual experience or relationship history, so rolling all perspective males together in this regard is ridiculous to say the least.

It also seems that some of your frame test examples are merely solved by old fashioned submission/kiss-assery. Within your congruence test, any man that verbally refers to himself as a "player", especially to his perspective date, should have their legs broken (just my opinion).

Your advice seems pretty solid otherwise, despite the fact that your focus seems to point towards getting laid a bit more than establishing a meaningful relationship.

Thanks for the decent post.

justdweezil · 2015-07-29T01:28:22+00:00

Calling it a "shit test" is no more defensive than saying "she's giving me shit" is defensive - it's just a funny way to describe what's happening: she's ribbing you, poking you, testing you by pushing you a bit. I think calling the term "shit test" defensive is in itself a little defensive.

Regarding "congruence tests", which you explained well:

Congruence Test: "You know for an ex-marine, you seem to have a real soft side to you, don't you?" Fail response: "[defensive tone] What gave you that idea?" Pass response: "Well, that tends to happen. You are compelled to being strong -- unbreakable -- all day, every day. But we are all still human. I don't know if a lot of women realize that."

Congruence test: "You know, when I first met you, I thought you were a player. Are you just playing me right now?" Fail response: "Maybe. I guess you'll have to find out." Pass response: "Sometimes a player is just a guy who has had some bad experiences in the past. When the right girl comes along, I know how to play for keeps."

I'd consider both of these "pass responses" significant failures - they weakly agree and then qualify and explain, which is a great way to signal uncertainty, weakness, or the need to qualify yourself to her. It's better to playfully respond half-truthfully, in a way that both explains, and dismisses these (pretty clearly) silly questions.

Thanks for the post.

2015-07-29T02:23:46+00:00

Wow, I didn't expect this kind of response. Thanks for all of your comments. This was really just written on a whim, and I didn't realize that there was so much hunger for new material on Seddit. I will try to cover more bases and develop better examples in my next post.

2015-07-29T04:37:17+00:00

TL; DR; Just be genuine, don't be a negative Nancy or Clingy Clyde

carBoard · 2015-07-29T04:46:58+00:00

I find it best to do the opposite of whatever my intuition response would be or what I think a typical guy's response would be. Its hard to think about this on the fly but once you get use to taking a step back and thinking before saying the first thing that comes to mind you'll have a better time

Example from two weekends ago: (at a concert for a band I was vaguely familiar with) HB 7 approaches me and two other guys I was with: "You all haven't been singing along to a single word for any song!"

now my two friends were quick to be defensive with excuses like "I just wanna enjoy the band" and other bullshit. As they threw out their defenses I stopped the conversation and said "wait why are you watching us instead of the concert"

She was so thrown off she walked back to her friend speechless.

After laughing with my friends for a few seconds I went back up to her and her friend and introduced myself - number closed 20 mins later.

2015-07-29T04:56:58+00:00

The example in the OP are pretty pedestrian. There comes a point where you have to say 'I can't pass this test', 'this isn't safe'.

There have been times where a girl has taken me into a dangerous situation deliberately. A dark alley, metaphorically speaking. When I see danger I preempt it and avoid. That's how I deal with it. She wasn't allowing that. She was repeatedly bringing me into such a situation.

It was at that point I realised I'm not good enough for her in this way. I realised she's probably used to dating hard men, criminals and the like. She's identified my weakness and gone right for it.

I want to learn how to deal with this situation. If things get physical it's 3-5 guys on one - there's no MMA fighter out there who can be safe in that situation... But I can only assume that since the test exists... That this guy must exist.

So how does he do it? Well...
I've known hard guys. I've seen them get into trouble. They're just more dominant. It's not size... But I don't really know how this other guy I've never met really does it... Could it be just ultra strong frame.

Then of course also there are shit tests we see in married couples. And arguments in general. I call these shit tests too. It's true what the OP says. If you call it shit then it's because you're failing. Reframe as an affirmation I guess.

If a women is testing and I can't pass I call them ass holes. I like to treat the same as I would treat a player if I was female.

AnonUser8509 · 2015-07-29T08:00:00+00:00

Great post! More examples for frame tests please?

2015-07-29T18:32:43+00:00

The fail responses to shit tests are like, if a kitten was clawing at a castle wall... and the king deploys the entire army to deal with it.

2015-07-29T18:52:20+00:00

Another reason they do this: they have limited fertility, so they have to make it count. If you have millions, you don't care if they overcharge you at the diner. But if you're living paycheck to paycheck . . .

Elfclan30 · 2015-08-01T13:42:12+00:00

so, when she ask you to hold her purse is not a test?

monkeycycling · 2015-07-29T01:33:39+00:00

Worst post I've read on this sub. Your responses aren't witty or clever, just sort of awkward and serious.

redzilla500 · 2015-07-28T16:52:31+00:00

Can you expand a bit on fitness tests? Are they just testing for stereotypical good things like job, physical fitness, good in bed, etc?

STX415 · 2015-07-28T17:03:26+00:00

A fucking diamond post in the rough that is contemporary Seddit.

fezha · 2015-07-28T21:43:12+00:00

This is all games. What type of chicks do y'all talk to who do this?

CRC33 · 2015-07-28T23:32:52+00:00

I'm really irritated with how wrong you are with a lot of your wordy points

sunday_silence · 2015-07-29T02:12:35+00:00

Fact: Women test men more than men test women, and there are good reasons for that. As a guy, you can invite a woman into your place of residence without worrying that she is going to violently rape you and leave you for dead.

Stopped reading immediately. A woman is definitely capable of doing this.

Yes I get it, men are more likely to do so than women. But to even think for a second that only men do this to women is just downright fucking ignorant.

sunday_silence · 2015-07-29T04:17:28+00:00

most of this solid gold. Especially the first few examples, much of that is very good.

The one thing that seems obvious to me: he criticizes the term "shit test" because it's not very definitive. Well what the HELL IS MEANT by frame test? I have no idea what that means what are they testing for?

Except other than congruence test, none of these examples explain what traits they are testing for...

Women do test for a lot of traits for sure. One of them is being calm and unflappable. Most of them hate: neediness and clingyness, that's more women's area and the first impression of a man should not be thiss. Not to say never show emotion theres a time and place for everything.

They also test in very subtle ways what you do for living how well of you are etc. I guess they are looking for information, not your emotions, but then they have to ask it very carefully...

There's other stuff too, usually about does he think quick on his feet. Here's real life example:

star athlete (chatting up female for a few minutes): "Dont you want the best fuck at WVU?

Girl (a live wire all her life): "Sure I do. BRING HIM ON!

Right? Perfect come back. The guy had no response to that. he just stalked off.

I'd like to see a list of tests but with explanation of WHAT IS BEING TESTED FOR? I would start with: emotional balance, quick on his fee, certain information....

blunt_monger · 2015-07-28T19:43:51+00:00

As a female, I agree. Always cringed when I read about 'shit tests', I've never done it (consciously), my friends haven't either.

I personally think it's paranoia on the guys part, but that's just me!

Edit: I've definitely tested guys to get to know them, but not 'shit tested' like they talk about on this sub.

NedHenry · 2015-07-28T18:30:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2015-07-28T21:37:40+00:00

TLDR pls.

semaxX · 2015-07-29T06:19:38+00:00

What do you think about sarcastic answers? "You know, when I first met you, I thought you were a player. Are you just playing me right now?" " Damm, you got me. You are my 5th date today. But respect, you are the first girl that got me. You know, the hard part isn't getting 5 dates. The hard part is to don't let the girls meet each other"

2015-07-28T16:43:18+00:00

HITLER SUCKS

Downvote me now fuckers.

Title	Stop Calling Them Shit Tests: A Real Guide to Passing Any Test a Woman Gives You
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	787
Comments	121
Date	July 28, 2015 1:17 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3ew8ej/stop_calling_them_shit_tests_a_real_guide_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stop-calling-them-shit-tests-a-real-guide-to.1391695 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391695

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