Stop trying to avoid rejection

robbiekatt · 2021-04-10T20:59:06+00:00

Truth

The_Sir_Galahad · 2021-04-10T21:31:02+00:00

Like shooting balls into a basketball goal, sure you might throw some and they won't all go in...but you still gotta shoot to make a point.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-04-10T21:27:32+00:00

Closed mouths don’t get fed. That’s what it comes down to, you have to get over your fear. Over time though you should hone your skills so your rejection rate goes down.

However it’s not just the asking out on dates, the fear of rejection stops guys on those dates when they get them from not escalating.

ShinbrigGoku · 2021-04-10T22:07:00+00:00

I've been thinking about this on how to get over my personal fear of rejection. One thing that came to mind was Jia Jiang's "100 days of rejection". After watching the talk I was thinking to myself "why not do the same principle but purposely get rejected from women for 100 days?"

Wish me luck for tomorrow.

x_gamer_x7 · 2021-04-10T21:45:18+00:00

Regretting things you did is way better than regretting not doing them

humptyone · 2021-04-11T00:42:38+00:00

You dont know, if you dont try. Theres a lot of great girls out there that are to shy. Ask them out. You'll get everything you e ever dreamed of

burncushlikewood · 2021-04-10T22:25:46+00:00

Stay confident, and don't ask her out too soon, build comfort before you make your move. If you go into an approach with the mindset she'll reject you she will sense it, be confident of your ability and she will take notice and youll be more likely to be successful

MLGSwaglord1738 · 2021-04-11T01:28:24+00:00

This applies to college applications. Honestly, this applies to ANYTHING involving rejection or acceptance. It’s like, “don’t get too attached to your dream school” and “don’t get too attached to your crush.” Or something like that idk.

calycostyle · 2021-04-11T04:14:10+00:00

Today I told myself I’ll talk to this girl at work no matter how unapproachable she was.When she came around to fix my items I started making small talk by introducing myself and asking about how she feels about the company.She was only giving me very short answers and wasn’t even facing me.But the second I ask about her bracelet she got all excited and was telling me all about it.I realize in that moment that she was just a very shy girl and wasn’t trying to be rude. Such an adorable thing

Daunt02 · 2021-04-10T21:51:07+00:00

More dudes need to purposely blow themselves out. Purposely go in to fuck it up. It makes you not give a fuck about the outcome because the outcome is, "fuck it up". It hurts the ego because you're not "getting anything", out of the set but it allows you to free yourself from outcome dependence.

Rejection is sweet and it actually stops happening when the, "goal", is just expressing your vibe confidently to people.

motivateappreciate · 2021-04-11T00:20:18+00:00

Amen. Either feel bad about being rejected for a few seconds or regret not asking her out your entire life.

Curious_Banana8519 · 2021-04-11T02:19:41+00:00

Okay but last time I put myself out there I got destroyed.

MajesticAd3600 · 2021-04-11T07:49:40+00:00

Dude.... It really, really fucking hurts to be rejected. It can make some men suicidal and want to pull the trigger. Rejection can be as powerful as that one casing.

tehrealdirtydan · 2021-04-11T02:27:12+00:00

True, the more it happens, the less it will affect you. A no is always better than a maybe. Im not even afraid to talk to beautiful girls or ask em out anymore. It just takes practice doing it more and more. But if they aren't into you, move on. Don't stay friends. Move on.

FatRPNewbie · 2021-04-11T04:02:00+00:00

Perfect is the enemy of good.

MentalCelOmega · 2021-04-11T16:36:38+00:00

Considering that it's all rigged, why bother?

Veeesionary · 2021-04-11T08:14:02+00:00

Very easy to say when one has been rejected and disappointed all his life by every women he was interested in

Not trying is better than looking weak and pathetic. Probably overtime you won't care anymore and stop asking why me. In the greater schemes of things in this world whether or not someone loves you is irrelevant to a man's success and the example he sets for those around him.

Be proud in yourself as a man and walk with pride don't just settle because you don't want to die alone

tiredl4dy90 · 2021-04-11T08:28:06+00:00

I get the sentiment but OP is overlooking the long term effects of being rejected multiple times. It’s not just a small sting it lingers for a while and effects the self esteem.

jestercake · 2021-04-11T09:54:51+00:00

Instead of diving straight into women, it'd be far better to try breaking ice with people in general. Like asking for time, or striking small conversations. It doesn't have to be someone from other sex. Just try and make yourself comfortable with people.

MattyIce1220 · 2021-04-11T10:40:54+00:00

This just doesnt apply to seduction. It's something that should be applied to all aspects of your life.

mikecoxsmall · 2021-04-11T11:17:58+00:00

im not afraid of asking that person out its just i can't bear to cope with the potential fallout of that.Like the awkwardness will destroy me.

2021-04-11T16:19:59+00:00

Disregard females Acquire currency

You can't get rejected by money

earsurgery9 · 2021-04-10T22:51:01+00:00

Agree

understanding that there really is nothing you can do and it's basically completely out of your hands whether she is attracted to you, is, ironically, the best thing that could happen to the industry lol (at least we're getting there with mark manson etc taking over from the days of hardcore 'seduction' marketing like mysterymethod etc)

So yes, take your shot! Open that pretty girl. If she's not into it (which should be obvious very fast) move on! No big deal

Shuuuuup · 2021-04-11T04:32:55+00:00

I pretty much never approach women but when I was with a good friend on vacation at a club he convinced me to attempt to dance with a woman and I got rejected and we both laughed and that's basically how the night went for us and it was a great time. So getting rejected wasn't even that bad in the end at all.

Popular_Specialist_3 · 2021-04-11T09:24:43+00:00

Spot on im 44 and can vouch for the haunting forever part . Im slowly moving out of a unhappy relationship and going to have to face my fear of rejection and find who I really want to be with

crypto-hash · 2021-04-11T11:46:52+00:00

Fully agree: "no risk... no reward!"

But here is an interesting and provoking thought: who says (in the age of emancipation) that only guys have to take the first step and risk rejection? Why is it still "expected" that guys have to make the first move?

Sure, there are a few girls out there that take matters in their own hands, but they are far and few between. How many girls have ever come up to you and asked you out, compared to the multitude of times you had to make the first move?

Just saying... why don't girls take their destiny into their own hands and show a little more initiative in thee future?

mad_hattrr · 2021-04-11T12:51:42+00:00

Lord knows i haven't gotten this far in life if I wasn't served many Ls. Rejection builds character.

Pfefferkebab · 2021-04-11T17:43:21+00:00

I have just yesterday approached a woman and got rejected, but forneit was a success because I have never really done that. It was my first interaction with a woman that's not my relative in a very long time. That's sad if I read this out loud.

FailBetter1635 · 2021-04-12T14:05:23+00:00

if you try to avoid rejection and won't ask, CONGRATS, you already got the "no" 100% without asking her, which in most cases, you'd probably have a bigger chance

quirkypinkllama · 2021-04-12T22:52:48+00:00

yep, i def ask the questions that need to be asked. always feels good that i know and tried.

TheVulpisCrimson99 · 2021-04-11T01:37:40+00:00

The pain of regret is stronger than the pain of failure

jestercake · 2021-04-11T03:48:31+00:00

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LionVenom10 · 2021-04-11T04:37:50+00:00

Right now the issue is, I find myself unattracted to just random women. I can approach when I want I just don’t often want to. And right now I wanna ask out a friend of mine, but the issue is, she’s a model, and I’d understand if she rejects me but I’d still wanna be her friend. We get along so well and I feel we have chemistry, she makes a great friend, but I also do kinda like her.

Pj0esphs · 2021-04-11T11:08:24+00:00

Hahahahaha You're funny! Get real! 🤦‍♂️ Go pound sand.

CheckingIsMyPriority · 2021-04-11T12:09:24+00:00

If you fear rejection you basically communicate you want to take something from the other person (good reaction, validation or sex).

And if you come to the conversation with sole purpose of taking you won't go far

natasha_velina_ · 2021-04-11T00:30:26+00:00

Women do this too!

Also I don’t know why, but I figured out I never am myself around the opposite sex (I am heteroromantic) so if a boy seems to like me in this way (and I do not like him back) I always get super cold because I don’t want him to think I like him too (so he would hope) and I don’t want to hurt his feelings by staying the same. But now it appears to me that I will NEVER like anyone back because I don’t think they can/should be „in love with me“ because they don’t know me really. So now I „simply“ have to get less self conscious and be myself.

ireallyloveoats · 2021-04-11T08:16:30+00:00

Agreed. The thing is, this concept is not exclusive to approaching and dating. In business, in everything, if you avoid all risk and rejection and failure.. success is impossible.

ProductivityMonster · 2021-04-10T22:06:52+00:00

I embrace it a bit too much now and am basically looking for reasons that she shows little reciprocation to reject her. I have to remind myself that as a man, you're expected to put in a bit more effort than her the first few dates (due to supply/demand of dating markets) and only after that you need to look for more reciprocation.

putcoolusernamehere · 2021-04-11T02:42:08+00:00

Got to embrace the variance to get positive results.

hydrolith · 2021-04-11T04:04:10+00:00

This is the crux of "game." I don't think that's the best term, I prefer saying I'm in the process of forming new relationships, but you know what I mean if I say game. Yeah if I had to sum it up in one word it's approach. There are infinite other aspects and of course it's possible to form new relationships passively, but the idea is how to consciously create loving connections. "Can't keep running away"

Enriquepollazzo · 2021-04-11T06:26:52+00:00

Better be sure.

Funtimes773 · 2021-04-11T08:29:19+00:00

A lot of the top ones are long games that require you to fall on your sword. Pride is a bitch but their brains build up defenses just like ours and one of those can be if he's noticeably looking to reject him initially, it's only the natural tendency and hormonal.

A lot of women require some form of humility to prove yourself and that is why swallowing your pride can be a very important rule.

AwesomeMaor · 2021-04-11T08:56:25+00:00

I got used to it... so many rejections.

Mental_Bad · 2021-04-11T11:31:27+00:00

I’m staying in a guesthouse with some other uni students for a week as part of our separate degrees. How can I attempt to take things further with one of the girls without fucking myself up if she rejects it, and having to live with her for a week and possibly other ppl at uni finding out of my embarrassing failure (if I fail)

raccLunatics · 2021-04-11T16:44:04+00:00

Amen!!

jestercake · 2021-04-12T22:53:14+00:00

It's not the rejection for me that hurts it's knowing you'll get rejected before you've even started.

jestercake · 2021-04-13T02:02:34+00:00

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greenisbest1981 · 2021-04-13T06:39:12+00:00

I'm a lady and I feel the exact same way!

Title	Stop trying to avoid rejection
Author	jestercake
Upvotes	838
Comments	128
Date	April 10, 2021 8:56 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mocvvw/stop_trying_to_avoid_rejection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stop-trying-to-avoid-rejection.1428238 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428238

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