Rule: if she flakes, she's out

Kittyfuckmeow · 2021-01-15T23:03:11+00:00

Yeah as a girl, I agree with this. When I was younger I was too much of a pussy to tell someone I wasn't interested in them and ultimately ended up flaking instead.

rustoof · 2021-01-16T00:16:18+00:00

As with most seduction rules, the truth is Just do what you want to do. You want to text her again? Go for it. You don't? Don't.

asiandawgshy · 2021-01-15T21:40:11+00:00

How you know when it’s flaking?

Jiggerson · 2021-01-16T02:30:19+00:00

I just stopped dating and adopted a dog. Haven't had a bad experience since!

Going to get an LLC and start a business and also learning to play piano on a keyboard i have had sitting around for the last 2 years.

Meeting people especially now is difficult and as a guy, you have to put yourself out there and do the leg work.

Game has gone completely online. I'm sure you could cold approach at Target, but that's about it. Lol

Take up a hobby or learn a new language. Finding someone else should never be your number one priority, but moreso a side mission on your quest.

Feel free to share your perspective if you agree/disagree

Aquix · 2021-01-15T23:38:17+00:00

Not more than 2 strikes. I don't necessarily count not responding to messages as flaking.

But not responding to messages after setting up a date AND agreeing to meet up is flaking 💯.

I give her another chance, but I already have other options in mind so her response doesn't affect me at all. If she flakes the second time, I stop responding to her completely. Don't block her—it shows that you're reacting to her—instead leave her on read or send one word answers. She doesn't deserve you nor do you have time to waste with women like that.

Chances (and it has worked for me all the time) are she hits you up a couple of months later, again I'm not counting on her to, because I don't care of the outcome of "her relationship" with me.

spadez22 · 2021-01-16T01:29:44+00:00

Dude, I totally agree with this!

I’ve come to notice that when I prioritize my time after having been “flaked on” & put that person in the backseat of things, more often then not, they’ll come back in an attempt to re-engage or restart a connection/plans.

BUT even if they don’t, it’s a good way to weed out who truly deserves to hang with you or not.

UnsuitableTrademark · 2021-01-15T23:06:26+00:00

You're going to lose so many opportunities this way. If someone flakes 2x and doesn't propose new times and she's clearly not making efforts to work with your schedule... Sure, then move on.

But there are lots of awesome, beautiful, high value women who are going to be tough to get a hold of initially. Doesn't mean she isn't interested.

Being too quick to disqualify will only attract the easy girls who anyone can land dates with.

ScalpelLifter · 2021-01-16T00:32:36+00:00

Nah you can turn it around. I've done it for many who said no or flaked initially. Always try a 2nd time

putcoolusernamehere · 2021-01-15T23:43:28+00:00

I disagree. I view this as ego getting in the way of results. Flakes can happen for a million different reasons. I'd keep giving it a go. Worst case is waste two minutes sending texts.

InternationalBorder9 · 2021-01-16T01:39:27+00:00

If someone flakes or leaves you hanging and your first thought is 'how do I get him/her to be interested' it says a lot about your mind state.

ExtremeCentrism · 2021-01-16T00:48:49+00:00

This I feel can be situational. These are some scenarios that have happened to me

Wants to cancel a date and move it to another day (LOL shit can happen idk if anyone reasonable would consider this a flake)
Cancels date last minute and offers no other option (Fuck that don’t even reply back)

I feel like other scenarios are kinda of common sense, if there’s an attempt to reschedule she’s still interested generally.

Plebe-Uchiha · 2021-01-16T00:20:32+00:00

Level of effort shows level of interest. [+]

adrianitoninesixty · 2021-01-16T02:11:29+00:00

Thanks bro, i was just needed this rn😜

Algo2Pete · 2021-01-16T04:24:18+00:00

Talking to women nowadays is like defusing an explosive device. One wrong move, she will explode.

DaJosuave · 2021-01-16T02:39:01+00:00

I'm willing to bet if the "flakers" aren't really sure what the date will be like they will flake. I think on their end they might see it as lack of effort from the person who initiated the date. They probably see themselves justified for doing so as well.

Not to say that its justified, I think it isn't. The only thing is that its another perspective. This is when it makes sense to go for a second shot. If they are receptive then chances are this is what might be going on.

A flat out no show, no explanation or ignoring you is ghosting and should never be followed up. It's the lamest way of telling someone you are not intrested in them.

Narcan9 · 2021-01-16T03:05:23+00:00

What about in places like Colombia where flaking is the cultural norm? In Costa Rica, your own doctor might flake on your medical appointment. :/

NapalmOverdos3 · 2021-01-16T06:03:45+00:00

Finally, some good fucking advice for this sub

omicron01 · 2021-01-15T22:58:54+00:00

That's a bit hard to know if she is not in a close living area (60-90min or even different country)

Last summer I had very much fun with her , visited 1 week, but afterwards no texting or anything. So because of covid restrictions extra, I'll think this year is an universal excuse to not meeting together till next summer

Adjal · 2021-01-16T01:38:48+00:00

If she's apologetic and wants to reschedule, I recommend playfully asking her how she's going to make it up to you. Just about anything she offers will be good. If she gets indignant that you're suggesting something more lewd than she'd want, you can offer suggestions like fresh baked cookies, an "apology dance", a shoulder rub, whatever.

FishesNBitches · 2021-01-16T02:28:05+00:00

It’s sometimes worth a shot of asking again in a couple days and playing the first flake off or making a joke out of it. Especially in the college dating scene girls flake a lot but don’t mean to do harm. I wouldn’t be dating my current girlfriend if I didn’t ask again after an initial flake :)

TerminatorReborn · 2021-01-16T03:37:23+00:00

Pretty sure I had a thing with the female version of you.

I was VERY interested in this girl but had to cancel our date because I was sick with a very contagious disease(mumps), the stupid me just said I was very sick with another thing to not scare her away, I said I wanted to see her again but didn't set up another date, she took really well and even joked about it.

Some few days later she ghosted me... Maybe she thought I was flaking because I wasn't interested?

My point is to not set in stone rules line this, be a little more flexible because not everytime someone flakes it's because they lost interest

The_Hash_Slinger · 2021-01-16T03:55:15+00:00

I agree. This is one of my rules

B44Z07 · 2021-01-16T06:13:28+00:00

Thats a good advice

kemoy313 · 2021-01-16T13:50:08+00:00

Appreciated this, I keep telling my friends when I’m in these situations I just dead it. I had one girl flake on me once in college then months later wanted to hang out; I told her “you flake too much for my liking I’m good”, and I kept it moving ever since. If texting is dry or I’m barely getting a response; I dead the whole thing. If she seems at all disinterested I respectfully tell her it’s not working and I’m on my way. It is what it is; even when I take someone out to eat I’ll cut it short lol

keysto528 · 2021-01-16T14:49:47+00:00

100% does not matter the circumstance if they flake especially more than once, they are out!!

bmunger718 · 2021-01-16T18:31:37+00:00

To me flakes are amazing they help you save a lot of time. I have been in situations where I thought the women was actually into me but she was a good actor. She just wanted me to be her male pet and feed her compliments while other guys reap the benefits. Eventually I grew balls and asked her to meet up after a 6 month period and she flaked. After that day I learned my lesson it’s best to cut the shit quick. If she flakes I make absolutely no effort she’s gonna have to come to my front door or nothing else!

Geezenstack444 · 2021-01-16T21:13:12+00:00

This isn't always true. Whenever I'm getting to know someone, they sometimes ask me to go on a date with them before I am ready to commit to going on a date with them. This doesn't mean I'm not interested, it just means I'd like to know them better first.

Glenn42 · 2021-02-12T17:35:03+00:00

You may be loosing opportunities here. Girls that are talking to someone else or busy might be interested at another time. Braddock, if anyone knows who he is, suggest using a long fuse tactic. Basically, the idea is to "ping" the girl at a NON-needy frequency. When she becomes available or interested she'll respond.

This works some of time. Men who show non-needy patience and persistence are demonstrating a very rare quality: patience and persistence.

If you meet another girl in the meantime then she lost the opportunity.

Hype-Clan · 2021-01-16T00:33:10+00:00

I feel like most of this subreddit didn't read the message carefully. He clearly says she doesn't acknowledge you enough to give a reason. I agree and think that cancelling for a valid reason is not a flake.

Like another commenter said the effort put in is an indication of the interest present.

NotYoHabibi · 2021-01-15T23:35:59+00:00

Generally the right mindset but sometimes shit legitimately comes up. Anxiety, physical health, etc.

I’m kind of torn..the right thing is to respectfully let the other person know instead of going radio silent but sometimes ppl are in to you but can’t legitimately handle their shit..

I guess more reason not to chase them

coffeedad420 · 2021-01-15T23:18:37+00:00

Big Facts.

DryAdhesiveness6579 · 2021-01-15T23:08:53+00:00

honestly i’ve had girls flake, i’ve flaked, i just make new plans and don’t get butthurt and it all works out.

think it’s more you mindset. move on if she flakes but also fuck it shoot another text or call and ask her out again. if she doesn’t respond to that who cares

RedRiki24 · 2021-01-16T04:00:40+00:00

If they are interested, they will get back to you.

Guys, don't hold on to this. They won't come back, that should be your mindset. If She or He was really interested, or even trying to get to have a chance in knowing you, they wouldn't have flaked in the first place. It doesn't take more than 24 hours for the human brain to conclude interest or not.

Kristnars · 2021-01-16T20:24:06+00:00

I might add. Yes, flaking (especially chronically) is wrong and disrespectful to those waiting on you and to the relationship. I will add, though, speaking from experience my boyfriend (now ex) and myself (regretful) today cuz my choice to have a flippant silent attitude (no sex/ and I get there when I do) was what ended us. MAKE SURE it’s from a sad attempt to balance the scales in relationship. Be o, not being fully honest with me what really was up (women’s intuition knew something was not right ) but didn’t know what exactly. Only very recently I became aware of a few huge details omitted by ex. I love him very much still. I am not angry anymore..sad. Because we both contributed to the disrespect within our relationship which was loving.

Note my actions where ignorant but at the time I felt Please Before you end it with a SO find out if there’s a possibility having resentmentyoure unaware. Much easier to fix then get a divorce within first easy fix when it’s out there!

Birdie1978_ · 2021-01-15T22:48:24+00:00

Not true

I’ve “ flaked” but truthfully HAD to reschedule

And I’m “ out” for that? Nah... then HE is not worth it

Patopatoduck · 2021-01-16T00:27:10+00:00

So I fucked her kind of bad because i had so much coke that day and got problems gettin hard but she still answer my texts but then she says she is bussy, I guess shes not intersted anymore?

thirdwallbreak · 2021-01-16T01:02:42+00:00

Okay I’d like a short update to this. If I ask a girl out and she says that she’s busy or something that day, but then offers a NEW time or day.. then it’s all good. Sometimes people get bussyt

ozzymandias2 · 2021-01-23T03:18:54+00:00

nah call them out, it’s extremely annoying when people dont have the decency to tell you they aren’t interested

rad_dynamic · 2021-01-15T23:07:07+00:00

Wrong

Blurry-Nights · 2021-01-16T04:12:16+00:00

Or you could calm the fuck down and relax, and try her again in a couple weeks.

I regularly sleep with hot girls who flake on me by pinging them a while after the flake. I lose nothing, and gain some of the most mind-blowing nights of my life by not being so black and white about everything in your life.

She's not going to get back to you if she's a hot girl. It's on you to keep pinging her.

OnlyPlaysPaladins · 2021-01-16T05:37:21+00:00

Perfect advice. Noshow means purge.

dhikapow · 2021-01-16T08:03:50+00:00

I agree with most of this, but I just want to say that it's not an either-or situation.

My ex used to flake me; no date excuses, late texts. I guess she wasn't interested at that point. I didn't move on but I sort of given up on texting her. But somehow, I got lucky. Something happened (long story) and she started to text me. Things went very well from there.

The point is, my experience says it is possible to get people interested again, somehow. If I had moved on then, I probably wouldn't have dated her.

On the other hand, I agree with the post that getting people interested in you, who weren't interested to begin with, is an uphill battle. I probably just got lucky with my ex. And the reason why it worked out was I think because she reached out to me.

Gromann27 · 2021-01-16T11:56:36+00:00

Whats flaking?

gazy2k · 2021-01-16T13:44:15+00:00

I’ve had this a lot throughout my life with girl and it’s rude and disrespectful on every level. So yeah I 100 percent agree with this statement it’s too late for me now as I’ve already missed out on having any experiences with the girls I wanted

HDani11 · 2021-01-16T13:59:02+00:00

I have a question. How do you get "emotionally ok" with doing this. I'm not really sure if that was a good way to formulate the question so I'll try and explain it. I once went through a case of being "flaked" and rationally I knew I was being flaked so I did the right thing and let her go. But I couldn't shake the shitty feeling of being flaked even though I knew that she wasn't worth chasing if she was a person who would just flake without even caring enough to say something. Is there a way around this feeling? Besides time I guess

darkskinx · 2021-01-17T09:40:52+00:00

when they hit u up in 365 days to apologize , u punish them and make her work extra hard for the night

texxmix · 2021-01-17T17:38:13+00:00

While I agree even if they get back to you that still doesn’t mean they are interested. Then reaching out cause they feel guilty about flaking/ghosting without actually being interested seems to be pretty common IMO.

Takitoh26 · 2021-01-17T21:54:17+00:00

What does the word "flakes" mean in this context?

English isn't my main language and the Google translation doesn't make sense lol

Sexy-sarah_bb · 2021-01-18T06:34:18+00:00

Agreed

Cause_Training · 2021-01-23T04:50:15+00:00

As a woman, PLEASE do this. Most women flake and ghost because you come off as creepy/ a loser and we think you'll become abusive if we are direct about why we don't want to see you again. Continuing to harass us when it's pretty damn obvious we dont want to talk to you just makes it worse. If a woman is interested, she will contact you back. I cant believe OP even had to say this, because it should be the most obvious thing in the world, but i guess it's not.

Tatsuhime · 2021-01-30T10:02:17+00:00

This is bull shit I'm a single parent who works full time. Sometimes I can over schedule and need to cancle so I don't lose my mind. It has nothing to do with not being interested.

ManChestBrick · 2021-02-04T15:36:13+00:00

I would deny this especially with online dating. Sometimes they are unsure if they want to meet or if they like you enough. I had a girl flake on me 3 weekends in a row, and finally got my way over to her house and now she sets all the meetups and texts me everyday. I know I'm not a great texter at all and am extremely good face to face so that may have helped. Granted I wasn't desperate for anything so I didn't really care if she didn't hang out with me, I knew it would probably happen eventually and I was talking to others to fill up my time. Long story short you can continue to check in but don't make a flaker your priority, you never know when she may be in the right mood to want to give it a shot.

Rule: if she flakes, she's out

Comments

TB4L brother, join the hoodvillefam we'll welcome u in open arms💫💫💫

Title	Rule: if she flakes, she's out
Author	jestercake
Upvotes	1465
Comments	189
Date	January 15, 2021 9:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ky4k6u/rule_if_she_flakes_shes_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/rule-if-she-flakes-shes-out.1428059 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428059