What Elements Create an Attractive "Aura" Beyond Just "Good Looks"?

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-07-28T16:34:17+00:00

Being shy isn't the issue. I was painfully shy and introverted and I still had girls chasing after me.

What she is saying is that you don't make her feel anything.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-07-28T16:40:01+00:00

My guess? You aren't being socially engaging with your interaction.

Are you ever asking her questions about herself? Do you listen with interest when she tells you something? Do you ask follow up questions? Or do you only talk about external things like work, school, and the weather - or about yourself and your life?

Do you ever risk cracking a joke, flirting with her or asking her a quite personal question? Or do you always play it safe?

Do you physically escalate? Or do you never touch her?

prankd1776 · 2025-07-28T17:25:09+00:00

Whenever a girl says she doesn't feel the "spark", "chemistry", or anything similar, what she really means is she didn't feel sexual tension with you. And that's on you to create sexual tension. Nothing else matters as long as she's not sexually attracted to you.

Severe_Nectarine863 · 2025-07-28T19:17:53+00:00

Being grounded and honest with yourself first and foremost. Aura is what you feel inside and how comfortable you are with sharing that with the world.

Matter_Still · 2025-07-28T20:11:38+00:00

George Gershwin was far from good looking. Famous? Certainly. Rich? No doubt. But women said he lit up a room when he walked in. He had such “zest” for life. It was impossible to be with him and not feel good.

It was the same with Mel Brooks.

So, one answer is joie de vivre. Celebrate life. And, man, if you’re under 30 and not in ill health or facing some sort of tragedy, carpe diem. It doesn’t get much better.

Ryan_the_Scion · 2025-07-29T00:06:32+00:00

they said I’m good-looking/hot but that I lack that certain “charm” or spark.

Actually caring for the people around you, including her, could create spark and charm. But it's not something which is easy to do by the flick of a switch.

tonyferguson2021 · 2025-07-28T18:21:44+00:00

Masculinity

LimbBisquet · 2025-07-29T02:28:38+00:00

Being good to yourself. I know it sounds easy, but the vast majority of people and men especially are really not good to themselves. Everything you think only woman/women can give you, you can give yourself. Love, approval, confidence, acceptance, respect. All of these you can give yourself. Granted, you probably can’t suck your own dick, so you do need them for something.

Just be good to yourself and reward yourself with confidence, approval, respect, charm, being the prize. Why is it so difficult for men to just reward themselves? We look at the jerks who get all the girls. What’s their advantage compared to you? None. But they are selfish and treat themselves good. They reward themselves with confidence and importance. And hot girls. While you wallow in self pity and self hate, believing you have to achieve something great so you can finally reward yourself with confidence.

Pikappucinno · 2025-07-30T05:08:29+00:00

Might sound controversial, but this ‘aura’ that you’re talking about that some people seem to just have, IMHO are pheromones. Their bodies might just secrete more of it than the rest of us which influence perception. Unfortunately scientific research into this area is scarce with conflicting results.

Waste-Tax-5439 · 2025-07-31T00:57:07+00:00

Sorry to say but you didn't make their panties wet.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-07-28T17:24:05+00:00

Being shy is the issue.

Your capability to hold attention is massively hampered if you don't do anything. There has to be a reason, there has to be something stimulating to drive attention.

The people who claim to get results while being shy is purely because it isn't black and white. You can be shy, you can be anxious, you can be nervous, but you still have to function enough that you can get and maintain attention. You don't have to be the most charismatic and interesting person in the world but you have to be enough for the intended audience.

Forsaken-Concert-430 · 2025-07-28T18:17:34+00:00

Have hobbies, participate in a social project and use accessories

ElusiveAbs · 2025-08-03T17:00:14+00:00

It means you’re boring to them, you don’t spark any emotions. And as a good looking guy myself, I can tell people expect more of you since halo effect. And if you behave like an NPC past the good looks, it brings some disappointment.

Well, stop approaching conversations logically/factually, go in to have fun. Look up and learn how to joke, banter, flirt, etc. Practice banter with your guy friends first. And lastly, don’t be afraid, good looking guys have much more leeway and bigger margins for error, as long as you bring a fun vibe and don’t reek desperation, you’ll be good.

Illusion911 · 2025-07-28T17:47:56+00:00

I have no clue. as I am charmless and not even good looking.

My advice would be for you to join theater, dancing classes or martial arts, and hope anything there can change you.

The idea of martial arts is that if you get good enough to think you'd be ok in a fight, you'd develop some confidence. The idea of dancing is what might sound like a basic gesture that you learned in classes to you, is a huge thing for her because she doesn't have a reference.

The idea of theater is that will help you develop some mannerisms you never really knew you were doing/weren't doing

I know it's not a 5 minute solution, or even a 5 month solution, but if we want different results we need to do different things

lowy3r · 2025-07-28T18:07:08+00:00

La mirada y el lenguaje corporal, tengo un compañero que es indiscutiblemente atractivo en todo el sentido de la palabra pero habla como un niño y se comporta como uno, las chicas se le acercan y bastante pero solamente a "cuidarlo", es decir, lo ven como un hijo y sienten que es su deber protegerlo del cruel mundo que es. Por otra parte está otro que no habla mucho, sin embargo, en la mirada, la forma tan calmada que tiene de hablar y la postura que usa como demostrando autoridad hace que muchas se sientan nerviosas a su lado. Ahora, ya con eso tienes lo que quieres "Aura". También podría ser con la preselección pero eso ya es otra historia.

En conclusión, si quieres tener una "aura" atractiva sólo sé calmado si no sabes de quién te puedes guiar para tener una noción de como practicarla, puedes mirar las películas de James Bond son buenas para interiorizar algunos conceptos

MO_drps_knwldg · 2025-07-28T20:52:55+00:00

Body language, eye contact, sense of style, quick wit

No-Compote-2127 · 2025-07-31T18:29:51+00:00

Being masculine:

Overall not being reactive, kinda detatched and not too caring. Contrary to popular belief being aggressive or loud does not make you masculine.

The most masculine guy at a party will likely will be the one chatting with some bros in the corner, not the one dancing his liver out with girls.

He has things to do and will not waste his time. He has no issue comming to events, parties, friend meet ups late and will have no issue leaving early.

He is polite and kind without any extra a.. kissing, validations or compliments.

Overall it just means to be someone who is not startled by or controlled by reaction or direction of others.

GrouchNslouch777 · 2025-07-31T11:14:55+00:00

Height, brah.

Edit: when women reject you the only reason is always they are not attracted to you. The reasons are always the same: wrong face wrong race wrong height wrong muscles. That's it that's all.

Title	What Elements Create an Attractive "Aura" Beyond Just "Good Looks"?
Author	Ordinary-Insurance10
Upvotes	92
Comments	59
Date	July 28, 2025 4:26 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mbku7l/what_elements_create_an_attractive_aura_beyond/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-elements-create-an-attractive-aura-beyond.1558319 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558319

Comments