Am I asking too much

Reflog1791 · 2026-03-18T18:34:28+00:00

OP is not listening to any of the comments and thinks his big, “Please stop being so disrespectful” speech is going to make one iota of a difference. It will only cause her to bully you further. Fake it til you make it that her stupid affair doesn’t bother you.

Upvoters for truth as usual has the best advice.

I’ll put it another way, whatever you want to say to her, say the opposite with a big shit eating grin.

In my opinion you are already divorced. Idgaf what she’s doing. Somebody needs to move out and get a big fat check in 6 months. I moved out to a bachelor pad and the new poon made me very quickly forget about what’s her face.

As another commenter noted, karmic justice will arrive but not if you act like a wounded puppy.

She is for the streets now. You just haven’t accepted it yet. It takes time. Worry about number one first, then your child, and don’t even think about what’s her face. She’s common, low value, old and ugly, and has nothing to offer you. Stop thinking about co parenting and start thinking about how you will be father of the year without any cooperation from her whatsoever.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-03-18T17:17:34+00:00

Just because you are hiding it doesn't make you any better than your wife. You are both married and disrespecting your vows. Disappointments, both of you.

If you don't believe me ask your kid what they think of you and your wife's behaviour.

Cut out the bullshit with the new girl, ask your wife to leave the marital home, focus on getting divorced and getting your kid through the dumpster fire that is now their life.

Olderbutnotdead619 · 2026-03-18T16:24:20+00:00

It just shows the trash that she is. I'd draw the line of both of you doing it in front of the child.

serkovavantgarden · 2026-03-18T16:05:42+00:00

This is textbook behaviour mate. Mines did the same.

Suck it up bro because she’s trying to test you.

Get voice recordered up.

Keep that thing on 24/7 because she will ramp this behaviour up.

DadVader77 · 2026-03-18T15:56:58+00:00

My ex did the same thing. Hooked up with/started fucking a new guy almost a month before telling me she wanted the divorce. Went out to meet this new boyfriend every weekend and talked to him for 3-4 hours on the phone every night while we were still cohabitating, with 2 kids, and while I was recovering from major surgery. Went on for months, including her talking to him when we had to travel to the hospital for follow-ups and even on a trip we had to go on that was planned 6 months before she started being a ho.

She pulled the justification card on her cheating by saying “I already divorced you in my head months ago”. Yours has done the same thing.

What she did is basically called monkey branching, getting a new guy while still with the old one. You need to worry about yourself first, screw what she thinks or feels. She’s no longer your wife. She doesn’t give a flying fuck about your feelings as long as she’s getting what she wants. It’s selfish and narcissistic.

Hopeful_Divorce · 2026-03-18T14:54:23+00:00

Dude, you need to physically separate as soon as possible. She is being disrespectful and it's wrong but there isn't much you can do about it.

Just know that she's acting like this because deep down she knows she's a POS who screwed up and lost her marriage. People act badly when they know they are wrong. You can hold your head high because she only does this because she doesn't like herself so she's trying to make you unhappy too. It is classic bullying.

Meanwhile your energy needs to be on your child and getting out of this messed up living situation. Suggest she move in with her affair partner or some other dude she picks up. If she won't move then start looking for a place of your own, just a short term lease so you can get out that has enough room for you and your child. It may not be time to move yet but start doing recon now. Find a place that will work short term for you to go and bring your child.

If the math doesn't work for you to get another place then figure out how to live more separately in the home with her. Can you make the basement or office your own space? If you've got the room you can put a lock on the door and stay in there once your child is asleep. If you don't have the extra bedroom, does your child have his own room.... can you get bunk beds for him and become roommates with him? Make it a fun thing for your child to have Daddy as his roommate. Spend your evenings in a separate area away from her with your child, playing and helping him with school work and watching cartoons. Let her have her phone fling with those losers in the other room, she will be missing out on being a mom. Don't let her take away your enjoyment of being with your child. She's just noise now. And of course continue to take actions to push the divorce and settlement forward as quickly as possible. These are just short term, temporary changes to help during the transition. The real solution is the divorce.

ImpermanentSelf · 2026-03-18T14:33:09+00:00

Why did you ask, you don’t need her permission

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2026-03-18T12:41:31+00:00

Read Boundaries by Henry Cloud

NilesGuy · 2026-03-18T11:54:01+00:00

Mutual respect? OP she cheated on you and recklessly broke up your family . There is no mutual respect on her side. You were in a manipulationship and it’s over. No sense grieving over a person who wasn’t real. Ignore her and proceed with your divorce

runningdivorced · 2026-03-18T11:50:14+00:00

I caught mine in a similar situation. She was meeting him in the city for 'liaisons'.

I specifically asked her to stop until I was out of the house as a matter of respect and decency, as it was causing me distress and she agreed that they had put everything on ice.

She promised and later went into the city for the night, when I questioned it she got touchy, making out I am being too paranoid.
Weeks later his wife contacted me and confirmed they had met that night. crushed again as the excitement/attraction of a new fling is stronger than common decency and a 20 year relationship.

2 months on I am stronger, wiser and moving on to a new better life. Even though they are meant to be on a 'break' until things settle down they are still in constant communication/messages/calls.

Some people can't be helped. You can hold your head high, knowing you are the better person if that gives you some relief.

Legitimate-Corgi · 2026-03-18T10:14:25+00:00

Who cares what she does. You’re divorcing. Dont let it get to you. If she knows it bothers you she’ll just do it more.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-03-18T10:01:35+00:00

If you want peace, make peace. If you want her to stop, act like it doesn't bother you. She's acting out like a child, so treat her like one. Ask how he's doing, more questions than she's comfortable handling. This is the way of the warrior.

mikemitch0785 · 2026-03-18T09:54:01+00:00

I feel like this is a calm way to ask for mutual respect "'I’ve gone back and forth on whether to bring this up again, but it’s happening often enough now that it’s getting harder to ignore and it’s making an already difficult situation harder. I’m not trying to control what you do, but while we’re still married, living together, and co-parenting under the same roof, hearing you take calls with Aaron in the house is honestly hurtful and feels really disrespectful. I’m asking that you keep those conversations outside the house or when I’m not here or at least keep it to text. I'm not asking to be petty, but because I’m trying to keep things as calm and amicable as possible while we get through this. I’ve been putting a lot of effort into keeping things peaceful between us, and this is one area where I need a little more consideration. "

Gattsama · 2026-03-18T09:39:27+00:00

File

Tell her your preferences and requests

Ask her to leave to the home

mesi130 · 2026-03-18T09:16:22+00:00

File what are you waiting for? The clock is ticking if you’re the higher earner. It’s very disrespectful of her but you’re letting her do that. Why should she stop? You don’t say anything.

Title	Am I asking too much
Author	mikemitch0785
Upvotes	16
Comments	42
Date	March 18, 2026 8:35 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rwya0q/am_i_asking_too_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/am-i-asking-too-much.1575791 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575791

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