What are some “boyfriend privileges” that you shouldn’t give a guy before you’re officially together?

chklcfybmoib · 2020-01-28T11:24:50+00:00

I won’t give any of the numerous obvious ones lol.

But do NOT cook for a man who is not your boyfriend.

ESPECIALLY if you are a great cook.

JoanHollowayWannabe · 2020-01-28T14:55:32+00:00

Heres one I just saw an example of yesterday:

Don't meet their parents and hang out with their family.

Edit: heres the cringe https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/eulxz7/today_i_21m_met_my_fwbs_19f_family_and_it_was/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Witchyko · 2020-01-28T14:26:40+00:00

After reading the replies of others, I want to add the following:

Don't clean anything in his home. Not his dishes, not his windows, not the table, nothing. You are not his free housecleaner.
Don't do his grocery-shopping. He can do that himself.
Don't go shopping for his clothes. If he can not dress himself properly, he is a man-baby and it will become worse overtime.
Don't buy expensive gifts for him. Women often like to spoil others and want to make them happy, but no need to buy expensive crap. Go for something like the Dollar Store (or the Euro Shop, depending on where you live) and buy one or two pieces there. If the relationship ends, you won't be mad at yourself for spending to much money on him.
Don't buy him gifts, if he has never gifted you before. It means, to him you aren't worth his money. You are not the man in the relationship, he should give presents to you, not the other way round. Also only buy gifts for special days, like his b-day or Christmas.

super-vain · 2020-01-28T15:12:53+00:00

Literally anything that doesn’t serve you. Do not do anything that does not directly benefit you for a man who is not dating you (exclusively). That is my single most important rule that I’ve learned through trial and error.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2020-01-28T11:14:29+00:00

Dating him, exclusively
Heavy kissing, make outs or anything else sexual,
No nudes. No nudity, or dancing for him.
He spends money on you. Not the other way around. Ever.

whycantweallgetal0ng · 2020-01-28T11:23:31+00:00

Here are some privileges you shouldn't give to a non-boyfriend, boyfriend and sometimes not even to a husband.

Scotsburd · 2020-01-28T17:20:21+00:00

Don't be his therapist, maid, driver, childcare provider, chef, stylist, PA or personal porn star.

ivy176 · 2020-01-28T11:52:45+00:00

For me, I wouldn't do any of the following if we weren't exclusive:

Kissing, foreplay or sex (yes, even kissing). Holding hands too, come to think about it. Nothing physically romantic really.

Staying over or hanging out a lot at their/your house

Going pretty out of my way to meet up with him

Favours like picking something up for him

Giving too much time in general

Holidays or day trips

Paying for dates

Giving too much personal info

I also don't do "exclusive but who knows what we are?" dating. If we're exclusive that means we're aiming to be in a long term relationship. I only date men I was friends with first. I don't do OLD or anything like that, so the men know what they are signing up for by dating me.

KLoSlurms · 2020-01-28T15:56:31+00:00

ANY favors. I generally don't do things for people I have no relationship with. I also won't be going out with any of your people because that's an awkward thing that I'd only feel comfortable with once I have an established place with the person.

honestgoing · 2020-01-28T16:16:03+00:00

Cleaning, cooking.

I'm never cooking for anyone unless they've done it for me and it was amazing.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-01-28T11:38:46+00:00

My time. Only my boyfriend would get the privilege of seeing me every day or more than maybe 2x a week. Same for making him a part of celebrating major holidays (ex. Thanksgiving/Xmas with the fam, church on Easter Sunday).

tindercoach1998 · 2020-01-28T13:32:39+00:00

Besides the ones that have been mentioned here, I'd like to add listening to his problems and giving advice. It's also important to note that while you should do so in a relationship, you must not confuse it with playing therapist. NEVER play therapist with a man, even if you're in a committed relationship!

jetpatch · 2020-01-28T18:33:29+00:00

Frankly all the red flags for rapists could and maybe should applied to men you just dating before committing.

Don't meet him in an isolated place alone. Even if you meet just the 2 of you be near something busy and tell someone.

Don't let him isolate you if you are out with friends.

Don't let him claim ownership of you. Even body language stuff like putting his arm on your shoulder all night is out.

Don't let him act like a saviour. Don't let him drive you home when you are drunk, get a cab. Don't let him pick up all your coat and bag and stuff so you have to follow him.

Don't get really drunk or take drugs around him.

Don't share intimate details or accept them from him. Don't use each other for a shoulder to cry on, most men want pay back for that kind of emotional labour but don't expect to pay for it.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-01-28T15:26:27+00:00

-cook for him (and other things like cleaning, laundry)

-finger his asshole

-allow him to make you feel bad for not spending enough time together. Drop him if he does this

-pay for the date

2020-01-28T12:01:18+00:00

My schedule. I used to move things around or cancel some plans to make things easier for the guy I was seeing.

Lovelywings2 · 2020-01-28T18:35:52+00:00

Here's a new one:

WhatsApp!!

I have decided that I will not let any man I'm dating casually add me on WhatsApp. It is faux intimacy and encourages low effort behavior.

2020-01-28T12:28:32+00:00

24/7 phone access. Girl put the phone down for a few hours. You aren't being rude! Pay attention to your life, not your phone, and you'll never feel like you lost yourself

Mamainas · 2022-08-16T04:55:45+00:00

For me, it’s my time, effort, meeting my friends and family.

I am currently hooking up with guys from Bumble and Adult Friend Finder and the only time and effort they will get from me is meeting up just to hookup. But when it comes to dates, meeting my friends and my family, I only give that as boyfriend privilege. Technically anything that is personal, I only provide that if I am in a relationship.

Title	What are some “boyfriend privileges” that you shouldn’t give a guy before you’re officially together?
Author	phominklashes
Upvotes	99
Comments	53
Date	January 28, 2020 11:00 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ev44zf/what_are_some_boyfriend_privileges_that_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-are-some-boyfriend-privileges-that-you.683820 https://theredarchive.com/post/683820

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