I just felt like this belonged here

BetterToBeLonely · 2021-02-19T02:09:57+00:00

This is refreshing. I'm so sick of hearing how anger is wrong and unhealthy and basically says you're a bad person. NO. Anger is often the justified and a HEALTHY response to shitty things. It means you actually value yourself enough to get mad. The day I was yet again horrifically abused and no longer got angry was the day I knew i was finally broken. NO. I am done. I want the anger. The anger means I'm alive and will get shit done.

rosepinks · 2021-02-19T01:39:12+00:00

I still feel angry towards my toxic ex. I see him a lot now that I’m back on my college campus and he has a great reputation and a lot of people see him as a super nice guy. I thought I was done being emotional over the breakup but seeing him again this semester has made me upset all over again. I feel angry that being with him made me feel so insecure, angry that he always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, and angry that now everytime I meet someone I just assume I won’t be good enough for them either. He only liked me for my body and the attention and flattery I’d give him, I feel like that’s all I’m good for. But im angry that he made me feel this way and reading this gives me hope that that anger will transform into strength and wisdom. Now I know to cut men off at the first red flag and to be as confident as I can.

Erinelda · 2021-02-18T23:26:27+00:00

She is right. For decades I just felt sad that my mom and step dad were garbage and set me up to fail so I never had a real friend (and let guys get away with too much as well).

Then I filled the gaping hole in my chest by reparenting myself, learned to love myself and then the anger came. I would tell anyone that would listen for like three months because nothing could take me off the course of feeling and releasing the anger. I cry way less often now.

d-xoxo · 2021-02-19T01:42:16+00:00

This is so empowering--as someone who's internalized rage and anger for the comfort of others... The end result? Heaps of resentment and negativity. Expressing and honoring my anger has been a blessing in my life and has galvanized me to set the boundaries I need to protect myself.

Thank you so much for sharing this. No more shame for feeling, expressing, and being angry 💜

19Bubbles98 · 2021-02-19T00:10:51+00:00

I grew up literally only knowing anger, my mum is a narccissist and she never really taught us (my siblings and I) to deal with our emotions. In a relationship with a sociopath I experienced so much anger and I was extremely depressed because I just wanted to not be angry anymore but from childhood abuse and then abuse in a relationship I couldn't take it. Now being in therapy has helped me make sense of my anger.

julievangeline · 2021-02-19T01:45:37+00:00

I’m not even kidding you, I feel like this might just have changed my life. I hold grudges a lot and often times have anger inside me which I have a hard time placing somewhere, and I feel like this might be a good place to start. It’s self love ❤️ thank you so much

Momcella · 2021-02-19T05:05:22+00:00

This is why I chose to not forgive my abusive ex. I want to stay angry at him for using & abusing me for the entire 20 yr marriage until I was finally able to get away from him with the little one. He brainwashed the two older ones to where they almost didn't speak to me again. My anger is justified & I will forever be pissed at that fat fuck.
I'm also angry at my incompetent parents for setting me up to fail, who raised all 7 of us to be misogynistic co dependents who grew up thinking it's ok to put up with abuse. I deserve to feel safe, the anger makes that possible.

Kylie_Fan · 2021-02-19T00:26:34+00:00

Damn, this really hit home. 😳 I will save this and read it every day to remind myself that anger is my body's way to signal that I am being mistreated and that the message comes from a part of me that loves me. I love this!!

Astral_weaver · 2021-02-19T06:23:32+00:00

My therapist also has a very affirmative stance on anger, as an emotion that can protect and motivate people that have been mistreated.

I used to feel bad for being angry about so many things in my life, but now I know the reasons and what to do with all this anger.

soft_ripenedcheese · 2021-02-19T00:01:00+00:00

My therapist uses Internal Family Systems with me. “Parts” therapy. And this is 100% true, and has freed me of my shame around my anger.

BabyBlankieieieieie · 2021-02-19T04:29:40+00:00

Reading these comments, and seeing the awards, is giving me goosebumps all over. Made my night. It spoke to me so much, too, and will help me re-frame anger, when it comes.

Thank you for being here, ladies. 💯💕

shieraa · 2021-02-19T04:16:02+00:00

This made me cry. Such an intense feeling of relief & acceptance & love for myself washed over me reading this. Thank you for sharing this.

relationship_reddit · 2021-02-19T05:18:44+00:00

I am angry a lot of the time every day. I am still upset about how my ex took all of my self-esteem and made me feel horribly ugly. The person I talk with about it says I should let go of the anger, but I just can't. I wonder if this kind of anger is ok.

LockLimePie · 2021-02-19T02:52:33+00:00

Was just thinking about this! I honestly went through the worst period of constant anger. You need to feel it to heal it.

theboringpianist · 2021-02-19T07:59:22+00:00

I’m still learning that it’s okay to let myself be angry. One of the first steps I’ve taken to heal (from childhood emotional abuse) is allowing myself to cry, be sad, and recognize there were/are problems.

arwenagon24999 · 2021-02-19T12:47:21+00:00

I wish I could get angry more often honestly. When I’m being wronged in the moment I just... cry?? And then I feel angry months afterwards, remembering what was done to me and more annoyingly, at how I responded (or didn’t respond).

rad_sensei · 2021-02-19T05:17:48+00:00

oof helpful

malibooyeah · 2021-02-19T20:44:14+00:00

Do you know how indignant your abusers get when you stop feeling sorry and start becoming angry? It's wild their need to warp suddenly into a victim. It's mind bending logic. It's not logic.

My fury is a part of me as much as my peace. Holding grudges might be damaging for some but for me it is as easy as breathing air and it protects me from falling into the same mistakes as I did in my past. More importantly it prevents me from forgiving those that exploited my good nature and kindness expecting the same as before.

her-vagesty · 2021-02-19T00:58:12+00:00

So what does it mean when abusers get angry at you? Same thing even though you're a star gf walking on eggshells to make him happy?

Title	I just felt like this belonged here
Author	BabyBlankieieieieie
Upvotes	2936
Comments	45
Date	February 18, 2021 11:09 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ln058k/i_just_felt_like_this_belonged_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-just-felt-like-this-belonged-here.741650 https://theredarchive.com/post/741650

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