Society cannot fix dating. Any fix massively impedes the human right to not be touched by somebody you don’t want touching you intimately.

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TermAggravating8043 · 2024-12-20T11:23:00+00:00

I would argue, that whist society can’t fix dating or force people to be together they don’t want, we should be ensuring children socialise more and encouraging less social media and dating apps. Relationships through friends/work and social events should go back to being the normal way to meet someone. The problem we seem to have as a society, is young people don’t want to go out.

HollowHusk1 · 2024-12-20T11:21:32+00:00

I don’t think “people being unattractive” is really the issue, honestly I don’t what the hell the issue is. If you look at previous generations (millennials, boomers genx) they didn’t have this loneliness problem, or at least not on this scale. Unless if you wanna argue people have gotten uglier over time I don’t think this is the root cause of the problem

soontobesolo · 2024-12-20T11:43:52+00:00

Strawman. No one except for rare fringe and cringe-worthy people are advocating for compelled anything. But it can be recognized and accepted that our culture's standards for attractiveness may be gliding into an unreasonable realm, leading to rampant loneliness and dissatisfaction.

Standards are not immutable. They are heavily influenced by peers and culture.

RoseyButterflies · 2024-12-20T12:18:07+00:00

I don't think there's anything wrong with dating.

It's just how nature intended it honestly.

I don't find most guys attractive anyway probably less than 5%

BigZaddyZ3 · 2024-12-20T11:46:33+00:00

Yeah and what makes the whole “society should do something” thing even dumber is that the same guys are usually the ones going on about not wanting to “betabux” a woman that isn’t actually attracted to them… Do they not see the goddamn contradiction there?

If you want to only be with a woman that actually wants to be with you, you can’t advocate for anything that would disempower women or push them to be with men that they aren’t actually attracted to. Especially when they’ll likely only give you starfish sex (if you get any at all) and she’ll just cheat on you with the men she actually wants anyways.

Careful-Wrongdoer343 · 2024-12-20T11:37:28+00:00

Society cannot make you attractive to people.

No, but society could stop making these kind of discussions a taboo topic so people in need can better understand exactly what makes someone attractive and the steps necessary to get there.

EetinAintCheetin · 2024-12-20T11:52:21+00:00

Your error is believing that the men who espouse those views actually want to be successful at dating. I mean they do, just like a fat person wants to be thin, but they don’t want to GET thin, because it involves a ton of work, eating boring, low calorie food and going to the gym instead of sitting on the couch. And just like most fat people prefer to have society cater to them by increasing the size of seats on a plane rather than lose weight, so are those romantically unsuccessful guys. They want everyone else to change but them, because that’s….well hard. It means they have to overcome their fears and that’s scary.😱

Separate-Sector2696 · 2024-12-20T11:22:40+00:00

This has been the 100 bilionth time this exact same post has been made. Why are you still "debating" this? This is already a settled issue.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-12-20T14:01:30+00:00

Am I the only one who finds it crazy that demands for men to be considered attractive went through the roof, but women demanding it either remained the same or even dropped in quality over the course of past decades?

SituacijaJeSledeca · 2024-12-20T12:09:59+00:00

I completely agree. Vast majority of men cannot establish that baseline sexual attractiveness, that raw visual stimuli for women in order to have good dating experience, no matter what they do, its mostly already predetermined. Cant tell 5ft4 Indian accountant he is going to have same genuine experiences with women as 6ft white model, lets be real here.

The reality is that current system "rewards" men that serve it with "wife" if he can provide, but women can provide for themselves, so what use do you have now? None bar providing fulfilling sexual experience (which have strong correlation with your looks), so most men are out of the question.

Barely-moral · 2024-12-20T11:40:21+00:00

The solution is not in intervention but in the lack of it.

Let women deal with life without any help from the state and see how the loneliness epidemic solves itself.

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Schleudergang1400 · 2024-12-20T12:31:27+00:00

Any law or regulation or forced relationship/marriage/intimacy is highly immoral.

What is moral or not can and will change. Trading individual freedoms for collective benefit/social peace is not unheard of. There are currently system and societies where forced relationships are regarded as moral.

Society can help unattractive people by pushing them on other traits that are in the overall desirability formula. Society can give scholarschips to ugly people. Society can give personal trainsers to fat people. Society can give therapy to mentally ill people. Society can pay for beauty enhancing operations.

Society can help socially awkward people with social skills. Society can include the formerly excluded people.

The only answer to making somebody willfully attracted to you is to become that

Yeah, i think what the frustrated, lonely, isolated, excluded, awkward, unattractive, mental health challenged people request is to be extended a hand to, to help them get back in the saddle. Society can fix dating. We just don't want to. Because it's so much better being at the top of the food chain and having ultimate personal freedoms, than having a fixed system that is to the detriment of those who currently thrive.

John_Oakman · 2024-12-20T13:03:21+00:00

There's a difference between hard influence (laws and their enforcement) and soft influence (social norms, advertising, etc.) that influence peoples behaviors.

For example, while the hedonistic treadmill might be something that's innate in humans, the modern consumerism with its planned obsolescence is something that is influenced by institutions & societies.

Therefor it's not unimaginable that various soft influences might have had some effect on ways in which humans see relationships and expectations of such, and that those cannot be changed once again.

MysticalFlight · 2024-12-20T13:14:27+00:00

but i thought ~~society~~ societal influence was the main reason certain races are viewed as more/less attractive?

TopShelfSnipes · 2024-12-20T13:27:52+00:00

What 'society' needs to do is get mentally ill, violent (includes rapists), and dangerous people out of society to build greater trust. And social media and dating apps needs to better police unwanted communications, unsolicited pornography and 'dick pics' and other things that make women feel unsafe and men like ATMs for scams. Perma-ban violators, and potentially even allow for criminal charges in some of these cases.

This would minimize the current level of 'safety threats' that would make it more likely to rebuild trust in society in general and might result in more people getting a chance.

In addition, there are societal campaigns that could be run - not necessarily by government, but by concerned organizations and companies - to make unhealthy behaviors like cheating, simping, homewrecking, and abandoning kids increasingly undesirable...up to and including friends to shun friends when they find out they've cheated or homewrecked in an extreme example. This can easily be done through pop culture, through the types of things that are depicted on and glorified in common entertainment media, and how the characters react to it., and how sympathetically certain characters are viewed through the director's vision.

This coupled with modest improvements in dating apps (easily done and my specific suggestions are documented in the 'how to improve dating apps' thread), would have a significant impact on the quality of dating in general.

Add a greater focus on single family home development in the US as well as requiring divestment of SFH for rental purposes by institutional owners and foreign nationals, and you'd have better preconditions to foster affordable starter homes and jumpstart family formation for the majority of people who don't want to raise kids in megacities. This is a huge pain point currently for people in being "ready" to have kids and why so many people are waiting until later on to marry and have kids.

neinhaltchad · 2024-12-20T11:57:13+00:00

Notice how when some social ill befalls women, be it “body image”, be it “eating disorders” or “unrealistic beautify standards”, society is asked to “do better” and soul search?

Suddenly we get outrage, awareness campaigns, politicians scolding companies, billboard defacements, and Barbie movies.

But men dying of suicide at 4x the rate and deaths of despair, falling behind in education and income any myriad of ways is met with either a collective “nothing we can do” or just a straight up “tough shit, man up, loser”

Proudvow · 2024-12-20T12:00:03+00:00

Not if the changes make more people attracted to eachother.

Any artificially forced cultural adjustment to attraction standards, if possible, will much more than likely only just about push unattractive people over the threshold meaning brittle resentful relationships.

No broad proof of that historically. Bitching feminists were a minority. Women reported greater happiness back then than now.

And added to this, the competition from many other people would grow exponentially as there would be many more people now considered dateable.

Scarcity increases competition, not the opposite.

Crafty_Note397 · 2024-12-20T11:47:26+00:00

I think social media is really not helping.

Imagine feeding a starving person in a poor country rice and unseasoned porridge while showing commercials to them for steak and pizza

Throw_r_a_2021 · 2024-12-20T13:10:11+00:00

This is literally just the “women are communists when it comes to economics but libertarian when it comes to relationships” meme.

Title	Society cannot fix dating. Any fix massively impedes the human right to not be touched by somebody you don’t want touching you intimately.
Author	Cjaylyle
Upvotes	7
Comments	81
Date	December 20, 2024 11:14 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hihml2/society_cannot_fix_dating_any_fix_massively/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/society-cannot-fix-dating-any-fix-massively.1539040 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539040

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