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feardearg2015 Archive

View 11 posts and 832 comments by feardearg2015 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Hey margeret (I assume) When i see you raise a kid that doesn't yell at a 4 year old, you can tell me how to raise my kid, I'll handle mine, you go deal with yours, OK? Yeah, fuck you Margaret
/r/askMRP09/06/16 06:05 PM
8

She wants to be dominated. You can't do it, so she's split off part of her own personality to dominate herself. And from time to time, she will tolerate you taking on the role of living sex doll if she feels a bit lazy
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/16 02:59 PM
2

"I demand respect" OK, so we know you can use your big boy words to say this, but how are you going to back it up? What are the consequences for her boundary violation? Don't set a boundary if you are not prepared to enforce it. For your kids graduation, I think you did probably the best you could, given the generally high social pressure that was involved. You didnt completely lose your shit, and you kept your priorities straight. But all the further "demands" for respect later are just reinfor…
/r/askMRP09/06/16 05:57 AM
2

So, is the point of your post about using tinder to up your text game? Or as an alternative to face to face game? Or do you just crave a bashing?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/16 05:58 PM
3

it was this sensation that I describe, (not very well I'm afraid), that bothered me. Stoicism 101: it's not the things that make you feel bad, it's your judgements about them. Your own judgment of that situation is completely under your own control. The immediate feelings that emerged from the initial event are not completely under your control, same as your heartbeat is not completely under your control. Making negative judgements or "feeling bad" about things that you have little or no control…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/16 09:12 AM
1

No problem Pussy McFaggot, anytime :)
/r/askMRP07/06/16 08:41 PM
1

Your wish is my command ;)
/r/askMRP07/06/16 08:03 PM
1

20 years of marriage implies about 20 months of 'recovery', and they'd need to be 20 GOOD months. As others have pointed out (nice comment /u/purpleveteran), you have no frame and continue to allow her emotional state to significantly impact your perspective. She dominates you. You allow her to dominate you. What you need is more "I don't give a fuck", and less passive aggressive faggoty power plays. And more fucking game. Where the fuck is your game? You got no game. You got no frame. You throw…
/r/askMRP07/06/16 07:56 PM
2

Finally, a cheat sheet for fiddle fabulous. Fucking brilliant
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 12:48 PM
1

I liked the definition of ego as the voice in my head, that is based on my past experiences and future goals. It tries to (over)protect me and (over)criticizes me when I slack. That voice is YOU, or at least it believes very strongly that it is you. It knows about your past experiences, totally, and it knows about getting you to take action. It also knows how to rationalise shit. And it knows how to conceal it's inner workings so that it creates a seamless, continuous conscious experience for yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 05:41 AM
2

Sure. Complete ego death is essentially "oneness" with "the void", pure, uninterpreted consciousness. Probably perfectly fine for a Monk living in a cave who has people bringing him food etc, but not so great for a human living in a society or community of other people. As you say, you need a "show mask". Don't worry : it's not going anywhere. No matter how "deep" you go into the ego death stuff, your personality is still there for you to play around with. You become less attached to it though. …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/16 05:02 AM
2

Anything else I can do at the present? EVERYTHING you do is at the present... The question is whether you do it consciously or not. I have realized my biggest flaw is that I have been too focused on making my future comfortable that I have forgotten to have fun in the moment today. How can you make your future comfortable? Your future is just an egoic idea buzzing around in your head. You can dream up anything you like there, to make your future comfortable.... It's all just ideas and thoughts. …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 10:42 PM
1

Probably best to get onto /r/askmrp for the time being. For the stage you are at, you'll get more out of that forum. It's just so miniscule and stupid, it blows my mind. Yep. That's how it is. The slight crack in the door you see. Take it slow, and remember that it's completely about you: not her.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 09:21 PM
1

Lol. If anything, I think you've got the "anti cheat sheet" going here. In terms of "helping you", I think that your biggest blocker to achieving the mindset you "want" is that you can't seem to let go of the mindset you've got. The "real" cheat sheet is TRP, by definition. All you gotta do is swallow it, and the rest falls into place eventually. Anything less than that would just be pretending, and that won't get you anywhere in the long run. A beginners version (which you've already seen, but …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/16 03:43 PM
1

Good work. Get posting into the weekly "own your shit" thread on marriedredpill
/r/askMRP05/06/16 06:38 PM
2

Dude. Your wife is dying. So are you, but odds are she will go before you. Facing mortality is perhaps the defining moment in a humans life. For many, it happens at the moment of their own death. For you, life has presented you with an experience that many people will never get. It is what it is. It's neither good, nor bad. It just is. Be conscious of your present moment. Hold on to that consciousness. It IS your life force. What now? I'm gonna be harsh. Not because I think you are a faggot. But…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 08:52 PM
1

I enjoyed that.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/16 07:20 PM
2

Yep. And she had that life. She built a successful company, sold it, and is most likely financially independent now. She's accomplished a huge amount with her 30 odd years so far. Not every woman sees motherhood as something which "holds you down". And not every woman knows how to suck a dick. And not every woman is a perfect 10. We get it. Not All Women Are Like That.
/r/askMRP03/06/16 07:16 PM
2

If you say so.
/r/askMRP03/06/16 06:01 PM
1

I don't, but thanks for asking. Edit: ok, I'll throw you a bone here. I'm saying that any woman who is capable of having children has the ability to decide to want them, at any moment. And also, that as a woman approaches the wall, where her ability to carry a healthy pregnancy to full term rapidly declines towards zero, and where nature is essentially removing that choice from her, there is a chance that she may rethink her prior decision about whether she wants kids or not. And to poke some mo…
/r/askMRP03/06/16 06:00 PM
5

And the number of childless women approaching the wall who show good wife traits exceeds the number of childless CC riders who show good wife traits.
/r/askMRP03/06/16 05:29 AM
1

"the wall" is the sharp drop off in sexual marketplace value,which is about more than looks. Once she runs out of eggs, she's served her purpose on the SMP. She might still be worth a fuck, but her reproductive value is ZERO once there are no eggs left (and ruling out a technological intervention). A woman who is approaching the wall becomes ever more conscious of this. She may have ruled out ever having kids, especially since it sounds like she invested her CC years into starting and growing a …
/r/askMRP03/06/16 05:22 AM
4

You spinning plates? Have you read /u/rollo-tomassi s "the rational male"? My guess is "no" to both. "spinning plates" is the rational choice. It protects you from oneitis and keeps the hot sex flowing. The rational male also has the best academic description of the "real" sexual marketplace (not the "feminised" / "idealised" / "morally correct" one you've been led to believe). As others have said: this is your life man, so don't leave it up to the Internet to decide what you should do, You migh…
/r/askMRP03/06/16 04:54 AM
1

This post is low quality.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 05:46 AM
1

NEVER FORGET
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/16 01:52 PM
1

Dude: i just read your post history. Your stumbling block right now is your ego. If you don't believe me, that's OK. Your life is your life. You are not a unicorn or a special snowflake. The only person capable of giving you the attention that you want is YOU. Seriously, right now, I just felt like saying "fuck it" and just cancelling this comment because I realise that the odds of anything actually getting through to you are very slim, and perhaps non existent. So why am I wasting my time writi…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/16 05:44 AM
3

I don't want my wife thinking there could be anything going on with us, since it's strictly me just hanging out with a female version of myself who I have no sexual interest in You cannot control what your wife thinks about. She might not even be able to control that herself. Hang out with the girl if you like, fuck her in the ass if you want to and she's up for it. Let her suck your balls dry if you want. Whatever you do: own it. Be a man about it. You are responsible for your own actions, so t…
/r/askMRP30/05/16 12:17 PM
0

And what would be so wrong with that?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/05/16 10:39 AM
2

Yeah, and most of those guys who look fucked for 6 months or longer are the ones who go around feeling sorry for themselves, taking shit care of themselves so that they look fucked so that people give them sympathy. Don't be that guy. It's gonna take its toll on you, yes, but don't make that into this little story that you tell people. "the obstacle IS the way"
/r/askMRP30/05/16 07:47 AM
4

Uk specific advice: Join an NCT group. Costs more than NHS but worth it. Go on their website and punch in your postcode and due date and you'll see what class you can join. Book it yourself. Attend most or all of the classes with her. Usually they are on Saturdays but each course has at least one women only session. Make friends with all the other couples, no excuses. They will all be having their first kid within a few weeks of yours, and will become your new friends basicly. Those guys will be…
/r/askMRP29/05/16 10:59 PM
2

RP for 2 years Congratulations, your medal should be with you any day now. started an RP club Well done, those dudes will validate the shit out of you. That's great. Why bother dealing with your insecurities when you can just form a group with other losers and tell each other how great you are could kill him with my bare hands Yep. Life is fragile. You can kill ANYONE with your bare hands. I could break up with her if I wanted, but I dont want to Sure. That's outcome independence right there. No…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/16 06:58 AM
1

Next
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/16 06:00 AM
2

It's a roller coaster of ups and downs. Happiness, sadness, anger, despair. It's called life. Suffering comes from thinking that you "should" be on a standard train that goes in a straight line towards happiness and success. Peace comes from accepting that it is a roller coaster, and that it has ups and downs that are outside your control. Accept both the ups and the downs as temporary situations, rather than the typical tendency to get totally absorbed into one or the other. Stoicism : absorb i…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 08:33 PM
15

I see this as a shit test failed. She points out a potentially better mate choice, and you confirm it by failing the shit test. Agree and amplify? Fuck Yeah his pecs are huge, I might turn Gay for him Amused mastery? Wow, you've got an eye for talent babe, maybe I'll go ask him for some gym pointers He was giving her tingles, but perhaps you could have rolled with that instead of letting it mess up your frame. Alpha is in the eye of the beholder. And you considered yourself out-alpha'd by him. W…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 08:23 PM
3

Great and timely link
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 06:54 PM
3

I called it an egoic display of anger. Whether you are "angry" is totally up to you. I don't "present any argument for why you are wrong" because I make no claim over your rightness or wrongness. Again, that's a matter for you. Changing people's thinking is a fools errand. Rollo says so himself, since we are channelling him already earlier. "unplugging chumps is a chumps game". If anything, the goal is the elimination of thinking, at least for the majority of the time. Your mind is a tool to use…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 06:40 PM
3

anger is justified See here..... These words imply that there could be "unjustified" anger. "wrong" anger. Anger is anger. Anger is a feeling. A feeling is a feeling. It has no more truth than any other feeling. It is present right now, or it is not present right now. Having "feelings" ABOUT your feelings, like what happens when you try to justify them, or identify with them, or hold on to them like they were part of your identity, that's the ego man. You can't do much about those "first class f…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 04:03 PM
1

Due to lack of consequences, and why not? No reason to hide it anymore, you go grrrllllll
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 03:52 PM
4

I don't even know if I think you are a genuine individual or just a sock puppet or troll. I do appreciate your contributions though, because for better or worse, they do tend to ignite interesting conversations. Think what you like, be a feminist if you like, makes no difference to me really.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 02:33 PM
2

To me the difference exists between the following statements: I am angry I feel angry The first is an identification with the feeling, and the second is an awareness of the feeling, but not an identification with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 02:25 PM
2

We disgree. Anger is a legitimate response to being wronged. I don't disagree with that. anything is a legitimate response to anything. Insert whatever variables you want there, and I'm in agreement with that. Who am I to judge? You do you man. One can use anger or be owned by it. Better to use it obviously. Or the other option which is perhaps the best of all: be aware that it exists and just allow it to be there. It's not gonna kill you, and it's not gonna cost you anything (except some ego po…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 02:22 PM
7

No. I am suggesting that men ARE men, and that anger, Victimhood etc are mindsets, thought processes, delusions, rationalisations of sensory perception and memories of past events. There is a "victim phase" as much as there is an "anger phase", which is not to say that ALL men must transition through those phases. Those mindsets are egoic states, none of which are more correct or true than any other.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 12:18 PM
3

Thanks for that link, interesting. The only flaw I see there is that it treats "anger" as if it's actually part of reality. Anger is a thought process, a belief, a mindset, an attitude, a rationalisation, a story produced by the mind ABOUT reality. Anger is NOT reality. The "anger phase" is characterised by the misunderstanding of this point. During the "anger phase", the "victim" forms their self identity through their anger. They believe in it. They believe that they "are angry", which in turn…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 10:50 AM
2

If a woman is sexually attracted to you, and is given the opportunity to do it, she will fuck you. Your wife is a woman, so the rule applies to her also. Your situation sounds a little weird though. You claim to be spinning plates, or at the very least have been successfully engaging in extra marital sex, but you still seem to have this oneitis for your wife somehow. You also say that : I feel like I have been RP for a year with her but that many times it doesn't work. What exactly you mean by t…
/r/askMRP27/05/16 05:26 AM
13

+1 on the point about open hypergamy. -1 for the egoic display of anger that slipped through in your closing remarks. Have an upvote anyway
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 04:54 AM
6

Exactly. Show that you have male friends who are also valuable, and who respect you enough to do you a favour. Calling in someone else demonstrates a serious disidentification with your ego, which is a good thing. Even better if you actually learn something from the dude and then do a few bits yourself. Think outside the box
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 10:59 PM
1

Go to /r/askmrp, use up your "one victim puke" credit, get ripped apart (although it won't be THAT bad) and then get posting in the weekly Own Your Shit thread on /r/marriedredpill. The sad reality is that your post and situation are really not all that different from any of the other dudes on here. We don't circle jerk each others victim pukes, we've got better things to be doing. As do you. Welcome, and good luck!
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 10:29 PM
5

This is not the special Olympics. Everyone is NOT a winner. Of course you get no credit for trying. Why the fuck would you get credit for "trying"? If you can't do it yourself, then hire someone. Get it sorted. That's what matters. Find some other way to prove your manliness
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 10:19 PM
1

I guess so, but watch out for the peanut ones if you've got allergies.
/r/askMRP26/05/16 09:50 PM
2

Ditch the sparkling water and be a skittles man
/r/askMRP26/05/16 07:12 PM
2

Anyone else ever find the same truth? Probably, but who gives a fuck?
/r/askMRP26/05/16 08:24 AM
8

Good post brother, I didn't read your prior "victim" shit, but from what I've read here, you've got this. Keep it up!
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 08:22 AM
1

Nice job pal. Look, the religion V atheism thing is a sideshow. I'm not a preachy atheist, I'm a "I don't give a fuck" atheist. I'm tuning in to my authentic self, giving zero fucks for the trappings of egoism. Finally, yeah, women are hypergamous. That's not just because society encourages it, or because cosmo said "you go girrrllll". The cause/effect roles are reversed. TRP is not a battle against hypergamy, it's about acceptance of hypergamy as a trait, and then building strategies that maxim…
/r/askMRP26/05/16 05:28 AM
3

I see the "ratiinality" of your "logic", but don't let that be interpreted as an approval of the approach. The body matters:yes, but not entirely for the reasons you think. Ripped bod, cash in the bank, dresses well, speaks to others with respect doesn't lose his shit, etc etc. These things are all proxy traits that imply "alpha male". New guys look at a list and think: i need to do all these things to be an alpha male. And they are wrong. You do these things because you ARE an alpha male. The l…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/16 05:12 AM
3

Obviously i don't want to tell her what I'm actualy thinking. Quite often I'm day dreaming ot thinking about something that i dont want to say out loud. True dat, gots to protect dat ego. Gots to keep dreaming up reality, living the dream, literally. How about this: when she asks you "what are you thinking", forget about whatever it was that you were thinking about up until that point, and instead, allow a new thought to form right there and then, preferably one about rough caveman style sex, or…
/r/askMRP25/05/16 10:28 AM
1

Abuse and mental disorders are at the top of the list of un-winnable situations. You sure about this? Specifically, are you certain that these are unwinnable situations? Even more specifically, are you sure that there are any unwinnable situations? What's your definition of "winnable"? What are you here for? What drives you? What's the point of your life? I'll be honest and say that I give zero fucks what your answer to these questions are. Your opinions count for zero, as do mine. My opinions a…
/r/askMRP25/05/16 07:37 AM
1

"I like wha you did last week better" Shit test /compliance test / last minute resistance. When she said this, and when you listened to her with the rational part of your mind, and started telling yourself:" what the fuck, you NEVER tell me what you like, how am I supposed to know", you entered her frame. it's the passion I want That's what she wants too. But she also really doesn't want to feel like a filthy slut (the bad kind). She doesn't want to feel like she is selling herself out. She does…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 05:08 AM
1

Gold
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 04:28 PM
1

Since this is outside my frame, I shall put it in the category of "amusing".... I am not a man of faith, and the number of things which I believe in is literally decreasing by the day.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 04:27 PM
2

Yep, and if you wanna make sure you can make your point without her interrupting, just let rip with the morality lecture while she's got her mouth full of your cock
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 03:44 PM
2

The 3 books of the "enlightenment trilogy" by jed mckenna are good "head straighteners". You won't need therapy after them, but I can't guarantee that suicide won't be off the table. Eckhart tolle and adyashanti are also good for a read. And of course, David deida and Jack Donovan.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 11:52 AM
1

Perhaps, but what's that got to do with getting my dick wet?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 08:19 AM
1

You certainly don't have an issue with the badge-gang telling what to do because they have all the tools necessary to force your compliance. Baby want a badge? What badge would you like? Honestly : what's your plan here? MRP doesn't require a belief in God, any God. You can have your beliefs. Nobody wants to take that comfort blanket away from you. It stinks anyway because you've been dragging it around so long, and you inherited it from someone else who similarly dragged it around, and so on. T…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 05:57 AM
1

Determine the authority and you've found the source of morality "the moral animal - why we are the way we are". Plenty of good stuff in there pointing to an evolutionary origin of morality. It's easy to blame some authority for a bad code of morals, or give credit to another for a "good" code of morals, but both of those viewpoints are childish and naive.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 05:41 AM
1

If you have tight game on top of the correct moral foundation, you'll see results. What is "correct"? The red pill is amoral. And morality is way overrated anyhow. What is "morality" anyway? Hamster fuel, mostly. Keeps the hamster running 24/7 trying to rationalise and bridge the gap between what your natural instincts are telling you, and what society (or some moral code) says you "should" do in a given situation. You can definitely get results in the absence of moralism. You MAY see results by…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 05:35 AM
0

It should never have happened a second time. Ditch the word "should" from your vocabulary in this context. That's just opening the door for your hamster to start spinning in his wheel again. It DID happen, in the PAST. Forget about it. It's done. It happened because you forgot your mission, or you got distracted. It'll probably happen again.
/r/askMRP24/05/16 05:23 AM
3

There is no end to the journey -- so don’t forget to have fun along the way! Death is the end, don't forget that. Death can come at any moment, don't forget that. The journey is timeless: there is only NOW. Don't forget that.
/r/askMRP24/05/16 05:19 AM
4

The RP truth that grows from the mustard seed. Yeah. For be, that mustard seed was "come as you are" by Emily nagoski. I think there was less than 24 hours between finishing that book, googleing for material written from the male perspective about responsive desire, and finding /u/IanIronwood s blog. I can still remember walking in the sunshine to work and devouring "alpha moves" followed by two books by athol. Then I searched reddit for any mention of athol and found MRP. I had already found TR…
/r/askMRP24/05/16 05:12 AM
3

That's why it's great to write shit down. You get to dump thoughts from your mind. Often, your mind just wants to keep hamstering over and over in some sort of infinite, unresolvable loop. And the ego doesn't even want to solve that loop. The hamster just wants to keep running. But when you write those thoughts down, express them onto paper or a text file, then you can trick the hamster into moving on to something else.
/r/askMRP24/05/16 04:50 AM
1

Ever see that guy cesar milan, the dog whisperer? He makes BANK by going to people who have anxious dogs and calming the dog down. His trick is that he understands the psychology of the animal. Dogs are pack animals, and they consider their humans to be their pack. When they sense a lack of leadership in the "pack" they are compelled by their nature to fill the void. But their humans are bat shit crazy. Noisy, disorganised, untrustworthy, angry. The poor little Fido hasn't got a hope in hell of …
/r/askMRP23/05/16 07:57 PM
2

I will just say, if you ever want to "fornicate" with a girl, then don't ever say "fornicate" again. L FUCKING OL
/r/askMRP23/05/16 07:46 PM
2

wow. What a puke. Hope you got that all out of your system, cos you only get one chance at this. You talk a lot about your religious beliefs. I really doubt they are yours. More than likely, they represent something that you picked up along the way, rather than chose to have on purpose. It's like you try to blame the beliefs, while at the same time choosing to hold on to them. And the same goes for your knowledge of MGTOW and TRP. You seem to angle it so that you blame others for exposing you to…
/r/askMRP23/05/16 07:44 PM
3

STFU, Lift, Read the sidebar. Take it slow. You came here because your marriage is shit and you wanna fix that. Our position is that your marriage is shit because you allowed it to be shit. Whatever it is, it got there 100% due to your actions, inactions and lazy conversations. Your wife is also 100% responsible for shit being how it is. Yeah, that adds up to 200%: that's not a mistake. We don't try to portion out blame here: we own our shit and take charge of our lives. And our wives think that…
/r/askMRP23/05/16 05:00 AM
1

Yep, it's tough. But "you" are not a poser, your ego is. And "you" are not frustrated at that realisation, your ego is. This is pretty much exactly what I did not wish to read, but it's there. Of course it's not what you "wished" to read, egos don't like to be cornered. But be careful, your ego might love to wallow in self pity and guilt. That's common. That little part of you who knows that this is what you needed to read: be that part. Starve the ego by dis-identifying with it. The little voic…
/r/askMRP23/05/16 04:51 AM
4

That's definitely not dread pal. Nobody can be the judge of your actions except you, but qualitatively, what you've got here is a case of gung ho newbie. Ease up, you are trying to move shit too quickly. And, you've got a young kid at home. Man up dude, pissing off for two nights straight is not gonna get you anywhere. She's got way more on her mind than whether you might be kiss closing at the local watering hole
/r/askMRP22/05/16 09:58 PM
1

Seeking validation is like smelling your own shit. You don't really want to do it but you are compelled deep down to do it.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/16 07:55 AM
8

Great field report, and really impressive that you went to such lengths to explore your situation and kill your oneitis. One thing I noticed was how you describe your current mindset : Dissipated to the point, that now when the thought enters my brain it leads to “I would not mind if it happened again because this would allow me to pull the pin while wearing a bomb suit”. That's weak shit. Next stop there is where you end up provoking her into doing something just so you can pull the plug. You g…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/16 07:44 PM
1

You get that this means you are totally in her frame, right?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/16 07:48 PM
2

I was gonna say "the difference is in the eye of the beholder", but you nailed it.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 09:01 AM
7

Not that it matters a great deal, but there is a subtle nuance to the whole "don't tell your wife what you are up to" thing, that as a woman, I'm not so sure you'd intuitively get. I'm not writing this to you directly, but rather wanted this comment to stand near yours, to keep a thread of thought together. The key reason not to tell your wife what you are up to (in the beginning) is that it's usually coming from a place of validation seeking. Men WANT the pussy: and will perform on demand like …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/16 06:26 PM
4

You are way, way way inside her frame. That's OK. I'm not inside her frame though, so here's what I see. You finish up with some "if it matters" stats which presumably your ego is throwing out there to deflect any focus on itself. Your ego wants "you" to see this as a "her" problem. Just prior to that, you are asking about whether it is likely that you can change her. You can't change her. That's a fact. What you need to be getting a handle on is changing yourself. More specifically, the version…
/r/askMRP16/05/16 11:19 AM
1

Internet death threats? Wow, you've really made it to the big leagues now!
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/16 07:25 AM
1

Sorry dude, the "real" cad spelled it the "wrong" way
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/16 10:32 PM
4

Nothing your wife does or doesn't do can "turn you from an alpha to a beta". And since the SMP is all relative, I assume a career like that would expose her to dudes who earned more than you (and her) and so may trigger her hypergamy
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/16 06:19 PM
1

Own your emotions, or they will own you
/r/askMRP14/05/16 02:23 PM
2

Ok. Cool. A victim puke. You wrote it out, now read it back to yourself. Notice how circular it is. Notice how your words affirm your negative view of yourself. You can see that tone, right? Now just mentally release all of that, even if just for a second. One single second, just forgive yourself for all of that. Maybe it lasts for 5 seconds, and then your ego tries to tell you that you are delusional, that "it can't be that simple", and it tries to remind you of how much of a victim you are. Yo…
/r/askMRP14/05/16 07:55 AM
5

By acknowledging their absence, you have entered their frame ;) Since they are not around to defend themselves, then the only reasonable thing to do is to create an intricate plot which explains their disappearance. I heard, for example, that /u/whinemoreplease is actually that same guy who created bitcoin, and /u/theultmatecad ran away to join the French foreign legion
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/16 11:25 AM
1

So I'm going to delete this account. Faggot
/r/askMRP13/05/16 10:30 AM
1

Really all you gotta do is accept reality. It doesn't "take time" for that to happen, it just takes "right now". The slightest, briefest moment of acceptance of your situation for what it is is all you need to get started. In that brief moment, you will have stopped identifying yourself with your victim puke story. All of us on here could tell our victim puke stories, we all have them. The reason we don't continuously bring them up is because we have accepted the stories for what they are. If yo…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 04:42 PM
1

Yes, I plead guilty to being a nice guy all my life. OK. So you have a "nice guy" ego. And you have become aware of that. You have created a bit of space between your conscious awareness of a thing, and the thing itself. In this case, that thing is your nice guy ego. Big step in the right direction. Now what? Well, you could try to reprogram your ego with some new behaviours, and that would be fine. Let's say, "install alpha male program v1.0". You read some shit, lift some shit, do a few softwa…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 10:42 AM
1

This is hard work. Lifting is easier. True dat
/r/askMRP12/05/16 06:16 AM
1

The quickest way I know to kill the ego is a bullet. Total ego death has been described as like "dying, but then realising that there was no one there to do the dying". None of the sidebar material directly deals with the subject, mainly because it's not strictly a RP topic. Also, dudes literally spend their entire lives trying to ditch their ego (eg zen monks) and it's a notoriously difficult state to achieve. I'm not a spiritual teacher, so I'm not even gonna bother trying to help you choose a…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 05:42 AM
6

I actively shut down all flirting and keep the interactions to formal/semi-formal level as that is what I think is right. Interesting. Might be worth your time doing some solid introspection here to get a real sense of what you are really doing here. I am certain (because it happened to me) that there is a "nice guy" interpretation here which goes something like : allowing those women to flirt with me, or leading them on to think something might happen is disrespectful to my wife and also to the…
/r/askMRP12/05/16 12:42 AM
1

Hey, I'm late to your party here, but I wanted to write a comment anyway. Your fear is "normal". Maybe you are self aware a bit more than most in that you can actually verbalise the fear, but make no mistake that the majority of humans walk around in a general, subconscious fear of almost everything, especially death. It's a built in survival mechanism. Evolution put it there to increase your chances of propagating your genetic material. It's not special to you. You are not unique in this regard…
/r/askMRP11/05/16 09:55 AM
2

And, she definitely wasn't "faking it", right?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/16 04:39 AM
1

Yep. There is a big difference between knowing about TRP and actually swallowing it. Like becoming a father, no amount of words you hear can prepare you for the actual job. Doing it is what it's all about.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 07:34 PM
0

She would be pleasant for somebody who she valued being around. Chad maybe. Someone who knows how to make her feeeellll special. She'd suck that cock right off a dude who made her feel like that. Fuck, I'm getting a boner right now just thinking about how she'd slobber all over my cock as I comforted her.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 05:26 AM
2

"This is real life for me" OK, indulge me. Better yet, make a post on /r/askmrp. Your floundering around here, you and your little story. You bring up "real life", and yet I suspect that you have never actually bothered to reflect on what that means for you. You are bobbing along on autopilot. You measure your progress in life by some external concept of what "real life" is. What is "real life"? Who is "me"? What is your purpose? What are you doing with your life, right now? And I mean "right no…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 05:19 AM
3

Dude. I totally called it earlier when I gave you the "trigger warning" for your ego. Isn't it obvious to you that you are feeling a sense of relief when you read some comment that conforms to the story that you want to hear? Don't you realise that you are strengthening your egoic position everytime you agree or disagree with what someone tells you? To your ego, it's a "me vs them" situation. And when your ego sees some support, it loves that, because now it's "us vs them". The truth, the real t…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 05:09 AM
2

Anything is possible, but right now, you are filtering, picking and choosing which advice to listen to and which to ignore, based on what it is that you want to hear. That's your ego man, it's clouding your judgement
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 08:16 PM
2

I think I need to give her more comfort, as I am not very attentive at all. Think about that for a sec. Just roll around a few ideas in your head about how you might go about "giving her more comfort". My guess is that it will involve a pedestal, gifts, subjugation, and the inevitable spiral to covert contracts. Your call though.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 07:24 PM
12

Look, you are not married, yet. You say confidently that you "are getting married in October". Just pull that card immediately. Cancel whatever plans are there, or at the very least, postpone indefinitely. As you read that stuff I just said, did you notice how your ego got all riled up and ready to sling out some defensive bullshit? Don't waste your time sending any of that shit. I'm not the one who needs to make the choice for you. Instead, get busy with some proper introspection and peel away …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/16 06:15 PM
9

That dude is so blue he's feeling dread on behalf of your wife! I imagine his hamster will be on overdrive whenever he sees you talking to his wife
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/16 07:47 AM
5

Choose another bathroom to bathe your kids? Or wear a gasmask?
/r/askMRP06/05/16 09:37 AM
1

I am questioning your general level of outcome independence. You are the prize, right? Except here you are in her frame, seeing her as the prize, and you are using passive aggressive manipulative language with her. I suppose I can kinda understand your position a bit more if I assume that you are coming from a place where you are trying to "look out for her". I mean, you are saying that you are just trying to give her a heads up about where her behaviour will lead. But to her, that's gonna come …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 04:42 AM
1

Are you serious? You'd stay married to her while effectively room mates?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 10:51 PM
5

Sounds like a massive shit test really. She's freezing you out, knowing that it will break you. She even jumped straight to the conclusion that you were butt hurt about not getting sex for a few days. You failed the shit test by the way. You failed it by bringing up all your feewings about the situation. You are trying to talk your way out of a situation that you behaved yourself into. Where are your boundaries? How much shitty valueless behaviour will you tolerate from her before you pull the p…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 07:55 PM
8

I think it's time I see the reality of my situation and dive in. Agreed. Lemme help you get started with that : the reality of your situation is that you feel bad because your wife didn't uphold her end of a contract that she didn't even know about. This is not her fault. The reality of your situation is that you are getting lazy: you feel like you've put in enough effort, and that you are entitled to be rewarded for those efforts. The reality of your situation is that your wife is on a pedestal…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 07:44 PM
1

Sounds to me like you have a major covert contract that all the stuff you are doing somehow entitles you to a wife who behaves better. It doesn't. And a covert contract like that will hold you back, because it totally prevents you from internalising outcome independence. Perhaps what's missing from your toolbelt is Game? Are you running good game on her? Are you seducing her? DEVI? As the man in the relationship, it's on you to initiate. That's how it works. And if you do initiate, but get starf…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 02:16 PM
1

The ball is not in your court as long as you are allowing her to judge and frame your behaviour. She says you are callous. You believe that too. You accept her version of reality. You try to defend against this "attack". Why does her opinion of you matter? You want her to like you or something? You know that chicks dig ass holes, right? "nice guys" don't make tingles. Chad gives the Tingles. Because Chad gives zero fucks what she thinks of him. That aloofness drives her wild.
/r/askMRP21/04/16 04:35 AM
1

"she's not yours, it's just your turn". Applies whether you are married or not. If it's a deal breaker, then drop her and move on. There is no time machine to change the past. If you choose to accept it, then just accept it, and move on with the relationship. There is no advice you'll get from here that is as important as the advice that tells you that this is your life: only you can live it.
/r/askMRP13/04/16 06:30 PM
4

I'd prefer to see her "exiled" or excluded officially from the protection of society. Made an "outlaw". Take away all the privileges she gets for playing by the rules because she has so flagrantly disregarded the rules. A quick (or immanent) death is not a punishment, really. But being cast out of society to fend for yourself like an animal: that's punishment.
/r/TheRedPill08/04/16 06:03 AM
1

OP : check out all you can by Jed Mckenna, his "enlightenment trilogy" and his "theory of everything". Those are "no nonsense" treatments of the "surrender" thing. By no nonsense, I mean that they are not written to convince your ego to Surrender itself. They are written to speak to "you", the conscious presence behind the ego. The thing that cannot resist Surrender, because it only has the capacity for Surrender. It is consciousness, it is conscious of what is.
/r/TheRedPill08/04/16 05:55 AM
1

Agreed. OP seems to have some conceptual blocker regarding the term "surrender". The cognitive dissonance of trying to Own Your Shit, while at the same time "surrendering" is too much for him. The power of now is maybe the most straight forward way to grok the surrender thing. Surrender to "what is", don't fight reality, flow with it. Accept it. Be it. Live your life instead of struggling all the time to force your life to be a certain way. Surrender to the universe, mentally. Let go of the idea…
/r/TheRedPill08/04/16 05:48 AM
4

My assumption is that she would do it because it needs to be done. Covert contract
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 01:59 PM
3

"wondering if I should just stop the TRP and de escalate" WTF? TRP is not something you "do", it's something you "are". If you reflect on what you are "doing", and feel like it's something that you could just "stop doing", then that tells me you have not really "started doing RP" in the first place. There is a pill to swallow here, a truth to realise, and a whole pile of untruths to unrealise. TRP only "works" when you've done that. It works because you literally transform your entire presence. …
/r/askMRP07/04/16 07:09 AM
4

For me, it's about putting 100% of my focus into whatever it is that I am doing right now. Shutting off, or ignoring the mental chatter that says I "should" be doing something else. The ideal state for me is a flow state, where everything just goes well and things just click together. The realisation that this flow state is what emerges when you focus intently on the exact present moment, and surrender to it, is an eye opener. You hold yourself back from the flow state whenever you allow yoursel…
/r/TheRedPill01/04/16 06:01 AM
1

I don't know if any, but I do know that there is quite a bit of useful David deida material on YouTube
/r/askMRP29/03/16 04:22 PM
1

does this get better? The question is, what standards do you expect her to reach? What are your expectations here? You don't get to just change a few things and then just sit back and reap the rewards. That's just lazy. And feeling sorry for yourself because you got a lazy unattractive wife is also pathetic. She was attractive at one point, no? I mean, you saw something in her at some point? Sure, there were the "dark years" where you were the drunk captain asleep at the wheel, but those are gon…
/r/askMRP24/03/16 09:05 PM
3

For me the process kinda focused on becoming aware of my Blue pill plugged in tendencies. I'd notice how I'd feel about things my wife or kids would say or do. I wasn't specifically trying to change anything at that point. Literally just focus on getting the awareness of what my ego was reacting like. That's the time when STFU is your best friend. And you even start to let a natural cheeky smile appear on your face where internally you are amused by how pathetic your ego is. Nobody on the outsid…
/r/askMRP24/03/16 07:58 PM
2

I think if your goal is to "pass a test", you'll always be in her frame.
/r/askMRP24/03/16 05:18 AM
3

Agree and amplify that shit? Act like she just suggested you go to Disney land? Get all excited about it, like a blushing bride. Lay it on thick. Plan the invitations and the cake and the big party with her. Ask her if she is gonna get down on one knee and beg for the divorce. Play that shit up dude. You know you are the prize. You know it's some form of shit test/comfort test /compliance test whatever the fuck. What does it matter to categorise or rationalise it? Act like she just made all your…
/r/askMRP23/03/16 11:09 PM
1

Great FR. Upvoted.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/16 10:39 AM
3

You posted this 2x so I removed the down voted one.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/16 10:56 PM
13

Isn't that what kitchens and laundry rooms are for?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/16 05:17 PM
2

Your wife prefers to be married to a skinny, non muscular dude because there is no risk that a bunch of younger hotter women are going to be throwing themselves at him trying to get him to put a baby in them. Being married to a skinny dude gives her a sense of security. Being married to a dude who has no other opportunity for sex gives her a level of control that she needs in the relationship. Sex is a foundation of the relationship, and since you cannot even think about getting it anywhere else…
/r/askMRP20/03/16 10:48 AM
1

Also, read /u/IanIronwood s book of alpha moves if you have not. Lots of married game examples in there
/r/askMRP17/03/16 06:08 AM
11

You are lifting, right? Getting ripped? Veins showing on your forearms? Six pack? Gun show? Dressing well? Good posture? Stand up tall. Shoulders back, head up? Speaking calmly, assertively? Gaming your wife depends on getting all this shit correct. If you are a spineless slug, any attempt at game will be repulsive.
/r/askMRP16/03/16 11:48 AM
5

The "gold standard" red pill relationship that we aim to build on here is a strong captain/first mate partnership. A strong captain, leading an equally capable first mate. You both would have equal responsibility to cultivate this partnership. Since you are at the LTR stage, you still have options. Is this man someone who you could follow? Is he someone you trust to lead you (and potential offspring)? Is he someone who can protect you? Is he "worth making an effort for"? If so, then your role is…
/r/askMRP12/03/16 07:04 AM
2

Downgrade her plate status?
/r/askMRP09/03/16 06:16 AM
5

That "I don't give a fuck, can't be bothered" stage is laziness I think. Your ego has taken a pounding, and now wants to feel sorry for itself for a while. It's not motivation you need: it's discipline.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/16 05:45 AM
4

If I was cocky, funny, and awesome I am sure the tests would be less frequent. If you were less angry, you'd be naturally more cocky, funny and awesome. And the tests would be more frequent in my opinion. Shit tests are part of how a woman figures out subconsciously whether a dude is alpha or not. Shit tests are not about her wanting to take control. Shit tests are about her subconscious need to be dominated. She needs to feel that dominance so that she (and her offspring) can feel safe under yo…
/r/askMRP09/03/16 05:38 AM
7

Are you fucking her good? I mean, DEVI from sex God method? She's noticing changes in you, which is good, but right now, is hamstering like crazy that you are cheating, and you are DEERing about that. The hamster is trying to get out of the maze, and you are giving it an easy exit by responding to these tests as though she were seeking comfort. Close off that exit by owning your shit in the bedroom. Dominate her, engage her emotionally, change up your variety, and make it immersive. Leave her qu…
/r/askMRP08/03/16 09:14 PM
2

It's tough to let it go because right now, it forms a major part of your identity. You see yourself as "it", so letting it go roughly equates to your whole world paradigm falling to pieces around you, losing your identity. And, in a way, it is exactly that. Sure, you can "fake it til you make it", but don't underestimate what "making it" means. The danger, sometimes, with "trying to internalise" is that what you try to do is rationalise, or find a way of "having your cake and eating it". This is…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 01:36 PM
2

Stonepimpletilists wrote a great piece recently about shutting off thinking. Go build your man cave. Accept that for now, your conditioning is screaming at you to take an emotional dump on your wife, but don't give in to that urge. I know you say that your eyes are opened, but really, it sounds more like you opened them a crack, and now are squeezing them shut again. Maybe you are right, and now is the time to end the relationship, but in a practical sense, what's the rush? Start doing things fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 11:12 AM
2

For you paranoid guys, there was no riding of cocks. It wasn't that kind of place. ;) those kind of places are EXACTLY where the cock riding will happen. Think of the Tingles...
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 05:47 AM
5

It's hard to want something that you already have....
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/16 06:24 PM
2

This reminds me a lot of my victim puke last year. The thing is, your version of love is the Disney twu wuv story. I love my wife more now than I ever did before, the Sex is better than it ever was before (for both of us, and she initiates now too), she's got a physically and mentally stronger husband than she ever did before, our kids have a better dad etc. Everyone walks their own path, and your life is yours to do with as you want.
/r/askMRP06/03/16 07:10 AM
2

Great book. And he's got some good material on YouTube also
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/16 08:40 PM
5

I remember reading "power of now" for the first time and hearing how tolle described thinking as a big problem, and recommend strategies for stopping thinking. The ego is made totally of thoughts. Take away the thoughts, and the ego is deprived of oxygen. And with no ego, you are pure presence. A raw human in its natural state. Easier said than done though, and it took me a long while to finally "get it". I can remember the fear of letting go. Who would I be without all my thoughts? I am my thou…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/16 08:38 PM
12

Start by making solid eye contact with as many women as possible. Then, once you recognise that they are not calling the cops on your "creepy" ass, start initiating conversations. Small talk. You are not trying to game them, you are not desperately seeking anything from them. You are just making some small talk. Once you get that part down, to the place where you can actually engage in a stress free conversation with a random woman, you can start paying attention to how the small talk flows. Are…
/r/askMRP04/03/16 11:07 AM
3

Right on
/r/askMRP03/03/16 10:13 AM
3

So you said something, then she said something, then you said something, and then she cried? And then you think she cried because of something you said? If anything, that's what you need to be addressing. You are still framing your reality around her, and what she is or is not doing. Find your own truth, and live it. Stop looking externally for approval.
/r/askMRP02/03/16 08:18 PM
1

Makes sense.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/16 02:14 PM
2

If you are a blue pill weak fucker, then anything you try to come up with to say to her is gonna sound weak and blue pill. It's not the content of what you say, it's the intent behind it. There are no magic words here to unlock her sexual availability and submission to you. You cannot negotiate desire. The real point of your post seems to be that she chose to follow her feelz to a better night out. Throw a tantrum if you like, but that will create more distance. How about you come up with a coup…
/r/askMRP02/03/16 06:17 AM
2

Because it's not enough just to know about the red pill. You need the authentic desire to take control over your life before any of this makes sense. Your eyes are opening, give them time to adjust. Don't worry : there'll be a new realisation every day. The more you open your eyes to it, the more life will show you the path. In the past, it may have felt like it was "you vs the universe". Now you are starting to realise that the universe doesn't give a shit whether it is for you or against you. …
/r/askMRP02/03/16 06:02 AM
2

This is a fine example of a MANifesto. You have 100% focus on your goal, you have a plan, you've got the support team in place, you've simplified the plan by deferring all out doxing of yourself to a future decision, you've presented the plan to people you trust, and received their feedback and incorporated it into your plan. In all honesty, it barely even matters what the content of the plan is. You could be throwing out this idea that you want to go and commit to playing video games profession…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/16 05:54 AM
1

That's kinda how this works. You write something so that you can lay it out in front of you and get a good look at it from all angles. As long as it's just in your head spinning around in the hamster wheel, it's kinda difficult to manage, because you will always find a way to rationalise the problem, and in many cases, the rationalisation is not going to get you anywhere. Like neo in the matrix, wondering how to bend the spoon, when the simple plain truth was that there is no spoon. The rules in…
/r/askMRP01/03/16 08:38 PM
7

First off, I can see underneath all this puke that you already know what is going wrong here. What you want is for us bunch of random dudes from the internet to tell you / confirm to you what you already know. Thats lazy. Who cares what we think? I mean, yeah, we can tell you, but if you then just go and apply directly what you hear on here, and not actually put in the work yourself to uncover the parts of your personality and ego that are causing these problems in your life, you are not going t…
/r/askMRP01/03/16 07:27 AM
2

Shit tests are less about the woman "acting shitty" than they are about the man handling his shit. Your post clearly is framed from the perspective of someone who cannot handle his shit. For that reason, I'm giving you an upvote. The mindset you present in this post is the mindset of someone who will habitually fail shit tests, because they do not understand them. Life is going to challenge you. Life has no "fairness". There is no such thing as "fair". Everyone gets what they deserve.
/r/TheRedPill24/02/16 10:39 AM
5

Dude, you sound like a BROKEN RECORD!
/r/askMRP22/02/16 10:08 AM
5

From her first post on deadbedrooms a month ago: I'm a woman in my early 30's and have been married to my husband (mid 30's) for almost ten years. Dated for 5. I adore him. He is truly the best husband any woman could ask for. He is brilliant, trustworthy, funny, a good provider, and has never broken my trust (Seriously!). He has a laid-back, great paying job and I'm going to school for a pHd. We own our own home, have friends, have good relationships with our parents. We travel alot. No kids (o…
/r/TheRedPill19/02/16 10:34 AM
1

That's pretty much it. You set your standard of awesomeness somewhere out there, and you work towards it every day, pushing it further out as you go. Of course, none of that means that someone else (your wife for example) will recognise that awesomeness, but that brings you back to the WHY of it all. You are not doing these things to get the approval or validation of somebody else. You are doing them because you've decided that they need to be done, and because you are holding yourself accountab…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 10:14 AM
1

That I'm trying to boost my confidence and body and thus increase SMV. There's some RP truth in there. But remember that you are dealing with a human being. There will be layers of personality, ego, rationalisation etc, aka the hamster, which will try to simplify what's going on. Both in your mind and in her mind. I want to do something awesome with my life, but I don't know what. That's hamstering. You are making excuses for why you are not awesome. Who says you need to know what it's gonna be?…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 05:54 AM
4

I am not just doing it for sex with her. And yet your OP tells me differently. I want to return the person I once was. Hard, focused, and diligent. Excellent. I get that I can't just start calling chicks or checking them out, BUT I need to figure out how to draw in other women. Bingo. If you go "checking them out", you are displaying that they are the prize you want. YOU are the prize.
/r/askMRP17/02/16 05:20 PM
4

What am I missing? You are missing the forest for the trees. You are looking at every tree in detail, instead of observing the forest. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts etc Time for you to take more ownership over what you are doing and WHY you are doing it. The Sex you want comes as a side effect of doing all the other stuff. If you are doing all this simply to have sex with her, then you are missing a trick. I know RP is a sexual strategy, so in theory you ARE doing this just to h…
/r/askMRP17/02/16 04:33 PM
2

You are reverting because you've got oneitis and are putting that pussy on the pedestal. Don't waste your time trying to figure out why she is not putting pictures of you on Facebook. You already know the answer. What you are hoping for here is a nice little rationalisation that let's you "fix" the relationship with her. It's not about her, it's about you. And, on top of that, TRP is about sexual strategy, not "how do I get a bitch to put my pics on Facebook" strategy. Maybe she'll put some pics…
/r/TheRedPill17/02/16 02:23 PM
1

So you are "doing this" for a year, and have not finished NMMNG yet? How's WISNIFG coming along? "ironwoods alpha moves"?" day bang"?
/r/askMRP17/02/16 06:07 AM
1

Try /r/askmrp. Also, just to mention some stuff: First, instead of talking about "crushing your insecurity", actually start doing it. The more you validate your own weaknesses, the more you will be weak. Put in some effort into what you are talking about and instead of pouring that energy into a reddit post, pour it into doing something awesome with your life. As for lifting, join a gym that has free weights: specifically a squat rack and bench press equipment, with free moving barbells. Look th…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/16 05:30 AM
1

"e Myth revisited" and "seven years to seven figures" were influential for me. And "the startup owners handbook" is also good
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 02:50 PM
3

It's not about whether it's too late to take your post as captain. It's about recognising that you already ARE the captain, and taking the responsibility for the ship. If your ship is leaky and sinking, and smells like shit, that's a reflection of your leadership qualities as the captain. If you've been a shitty captain, who just let anything go on his watch, then your ship is probably in bad shape. Rather than seeing it as boarding a ship and assuming control, see it as sobering up and surveyin…
/r/askMRP15/02/16 11:24 AM
9

"everyone gets what they deserve"
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/16 06:26 AM
3

Bra fucking vo. Slow clap...
/r/askMRP11/02/16 03:09 PM
2

I say no problem, I take my raging hard on and go to my office. She comes in later naked and says come to bed. I tell her I'm busy. I literally hung my head when I read this bit, and couldn't read any more until I at least got this out of my system. Take a look at discovery channel, any nature programme you like. Look out for instances where a female presents herself in a mating ritual, and subsequently gets rejected by the male. Maybe you'll find some, but those would be the exceptions, not the…
/r/askMRP11/02/16 01:47 PM
4

there's a lot of ground from your brain telling you "I can't do this anymore" to actually not being able to do it anymore. It's just some shit your brains tells you when things get uncomfortable, learn to ignore it. I find that this thought runs through my head on the last rep of every set at the gym. I can almost hear myself saying "shut up brain, recruit the muscle fibres you pussy"
/r/askMRP10/02/16 01:14 PM
3

Got home, could tell wife was angry I was afraid of my wife. FTFY
/r/askMRP10/02/16 01:10 PM
2

Do I fog, apologize, what do I do? This is the second time she'll know I looked at her phone and she's already sick of my jealous behavior in the past (nothing this bad). First off, you wonder if you should apologise. Apologise for what? Be specific. What do you feel you need to apologise for? Every action you ever took, or will ever take, has consequences. Some are predictable consequences, and some are potential consequences. You are responsible for the consequences of your actions. You've got…
/r/askMRP10/02/16 11:51 AM
0

No way do I buy that that picture was taken in the context you described
/r/TheRedPill09/02/16 09:00 PM
4

Anger phase? I'm willing to help But, you want her to come beg you for that help or something? It's one thing to recognise that you are not responsible for her bad moods. But, there is a counter point to that. /u/bogeyd6 already mentioned it: your game is off. Valentines day is a great day to pick up some alpha points. Have you read /u/IanIronwood s book of alpha moves? If not, I suggest you pick up a copy. It's time to take the next step. You are still flared as "unplugging". You've been around…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 03:11 PM
2

Spot on.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 03:01 PM
6

Not to get all nit picky, but he challenged her to call 911 if she wanted to end it, and she did it. She called his bluff (AWALT). He deferred the decision to her, while she was drunk. He didn't "decide" to end it, he basicly escalated a situation and backed her into a corner. I'm not saying that the relationship is not over, and I'm not making a judgement on what he should do, but I am calling out his leadership skills and how he lacked them here. He lost control over the frame and then threw h…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 02:19 PM
6

Your post is well written, and you are a long time contributer. I would expect more than just a victim puke from you. It's a shitty situation, and you already have got it understood, so all I can really give you is a fucking kick in the arse and tell you to start owning this shit. Give yourself that double-double to settle into it, and then start making decisions. I don't see much "captaining" in your post. You made good progress, but there were obviously some things that you either were either …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/16 12:49 PM
1

Great advice. OP: pay attention.
/r/askMRP09/02/16 10:27 AM
1

although sometimes when it's an hour or two before sleep I'm at a loss of what to do Yep. That's a big red flag. Do you value your time? Do you recognise that your life could literally end at any moment? How would you feel if death came for you while you were just bumming around looking for something to do? If you literally bored yourself to death? Further, if you are bored, then you are boring. Fill in that time somehow. Keep moving. You don't get that time back. Stop telling yourself that you …
/r/askMRP09/02/16 07:03 AM
1

Yes. You do. Being honest with yourself is an important step. Recognise that it's about you, not her. Recognise that YOU are the one you are working on.
/r/askMRP09/02/16 06:47 AM
4

I guess you might be afraid that you might spook her, that what you "should" be doing is trying to coax her out of her shell. Cut that shit out. Get out of her frame. Stop seeing the world through her eyes. Start using your own eyes. You are still living the blue pill dream. You still believe that you are doing this for her. You cannot be outcome independent as long as you hold on to the idea that you need her by your side. You might want her there, and that's OK. I get that. But your neediness …
/r/askMRP08/02/16 11:04 PM
4

So, she texted you to come eat her out, and you did it. That's fine. I suppose you did well to contain your excitement, because no doubt you had a moment of "oh hell yeah!" when you read the text. And some failed shit tests. No biggie, you are improving and this shit takes time. My big question is "how many times have you sent her a text and told her to come and suck you off, to completion?" My guess is zero. And again, that would be fine. What I'm getting at is that you could easily get caught …
/r/askMRP08/02/16 05:05 PM
11

There's perks and balances to being hb7+ Those tits defy gravity, even upside down
/r/TheRedPill07/02/16 03:03 PM
8

Leave out the cult bit and what you've got is classic. She's trying to lock you down. She wants that ring on her finger. Also, kudos to the guru: he's preaching a message that's in alignment with her genetic predisposition. He's not some crackpot telling her to drink some special kool aid and join him on the mothership. You wanna know if it's redeemable? You wanna marry her? If not, then just. Get nexting her and move on. And maybe take a look back and see if there was anything you were doing (o…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/16 01:22 AM
1

Irish coffee FTW!
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/16 12:27 PM
1

Every so often there should be little honey pot traps like that one to flush out the dead weight. Lot of posts recently bashing feminism, and while they are interesting posts in themselves, they are not what TRP is about. Those posts are like one big hamster circle jerk.
/r/TheRedPill28/01/16 08:28 PM
-3

Your big mistake was making it physical. You broke frame, and grabbed her. The rest is sad, but predictable. Your dad's illness probably has the whole house walling around on egg shells, and likely has some people in the house "jealous" of his condition because "he gets all the sympathy".
/r/TheRedPill28/01/16 05:26 PM
3

At some point, you need to stop describing it to yourself as a "transitionary phase". Every time you do that, you set yourself back a bit. The mindset you want is : "right now, I am the best I can possibly be, and I continue to improve every day in every way". At some point, you accept that you have already made the transition, and that the phase you are in now only ends when you die. You could die in 5 minutes from now : would you die happy? Would you have regrets? What's the one thing you wish…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/16 10:50 AM
8

If your entire contribution to humanity is your high score in some video game, then yes, I would consider you low value. If you are generally a cool guy, with lots of real life friends, and someone I'd be happy to have a beer with and chat about shit with, and you happen to also enjoy playing video games, I doubt that alone would make me consider you a loser.
/r/askMRP27/01/16 03:51 PM
1

where traditional alpha charateristics were shamed by some, praised by a few and extreme beta culture was celebrated in movies & by people giving advice Like, you mean, everywhere on the planet, except for some tribal villages? You are not a special snowflake, there is no need to change the "RP advice". This stuff is deep inside your genetic makeup. Humans evolved this way across the planet.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/16 08:36 AM
5

Upvoted. Fucking upvoted. Nice comment
/r/askMRP22/01/16 08:14 PM
6

I have to say that watching this movie as a red pill aware guy was amazing. Hypergamy, AF/BB, Mr. Nice Guy, this movie has it all.
/r/TheRedPill22/01/16 07:59 PM
6

now we're both probably in shitty moods Well, you are only responsible for one of those shitty moods, so what are you gonna do about it?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 12:35 PM
3

I guess so. I know that my own "fantasies" are minuscule compared to the ones described in that book I mentioned. No way could I maintain a mental fantasy for like an hour or so. For me, I'd probably just picture someone I'd like to fuck, and then just beat one out. Job done. To elaborate on what /u/irateMD said, the key thing about what's missing for you is the element of emotion. SGM gives some ideas for how to achieve it. In my case, when I thought about what my wife said about that fantasy, …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 11:31 AM
3

So, this conversation happened over the telephone or something? You said you were "on travel" . She initiated phone sex, and you shut it down?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 10:17 AM
9

My wife told me in middle of conversation while I'm on travel that she wants to have an MMF threesome. From how you describe the conversation, she doesn't appear to be asking to have one, she just appears to be fantasising about one. Women fantasise about crazy shit all the time, and often it's stuff that they would never actually WANT to do for real. Animals, incest, rape, the whole spectrum of taboos come up for them quite freely when they fantasise. My advice : read something like "my secret …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 06:34 AM
8

Will the dread game work on someone like that? Probably, assuming that you are high value enough that she would dread losing you. The real question however is why would you want to invest any effort in contributing to her mental instability? "dread game" pushes buttons in her that are deep and subconscious. The idea is that she recognises that she needs to up her own game in order to keep up with you. In her case, she is currently struggling to value her self for her own reasons. She's got her o…
/r/askMRP19/01/16 09:02 AM
2

If you don't like the nature of the forums then take note of the sidebar reading and get the fuck out. Well said buddy.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 05:45 AM
6

That's why we setup /r/askmrp. The tone and content of /r/marriedredpill is more suited to those who accept TRP, and are applying it to their marriages. I can only speak for myself, although I am certain that a lot of others would agree, when I say that the "drill sergeant routine" is what I come here for. There is a "brothers in arms" feeling on here. It's accepted and understood that we've all got our little victim stories. We've all fucked up in the past in some way or another. But we don't c…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/16 05:42 AM
2

How is this supposed to work if TRP says to give less attention but then wife complains about lack of attention? OK, here you are, full circle. You've opened your eyes, you've seen the light, and now you are at that milestone where you get to throw in the towel, or continue on this path. Wife complains about lack of attention? Is that your problem? You think you could ever give her "enough" attention? Are you being a total dick, or have you just got a lot more activities on your plate and she is…
/r/askMRP18/01/16 08:25 PM
3

She's accusatory with her words and shames me into shit. Shit tests. I've had enough of it and I'm finding myself very angry at how she's used me all of these years. No good being angry with her. Turn that shit back on yourself. You are the one who put her on the pedestal. She didn't force you to do anything. You made your own choices, don't go trying to put the blame on her. My advice is to not focus on looking for specific cases which you could label as a shit test and instead focus on not los…
/r/askMRP18/01/16 06:58 PM
1

Ah I get it, that's what you would say in this situation. Whole pile of dudes entered your frame by assuming OP was the proverbial "princess"
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/16 07:18 AM
3

Upvoted your post because it's got some valuable discussion going on, and because it serves as an interesting field report
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 10:36 PM
3

Stop kicking yourself and just accept it. Get out of your head. Get out of the past
/r/askMRP15/01/16 08:23 PM
2

Easy solution to your "throwaway" is to not throw it away (unless you've got another active MRP account?)
/r/askMRP15/01/16 08:22 PM
6

All day a work I deal with shit and when i come home to her i have to listen to her shit and help her deal with it. Who says you have to? It sounds to me like you are not so much a "leader" as you are the fall guy for everything that needs to be done. Imagine you are teaching a kid to ride a bike : at some point, you gotta let go. Yeah, the kid will fall over from time to time, but that is how they learn If you never let them fall over, you are failing as their leader, because you are depriving …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 08:15 PM
2

You sound Gay
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 08:04 PM
1

Male Only Space As opposed to a "safe space"
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 07:19 PM
2

How is your sidebar work coming along? You know about covert contracts etc? You lifting? You dealing with shit tests? Where are you with your MAP?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 07:04 PM
2

LMFAO! You have a real talent (and WAY too much time on your hands, retirement is treating you well!)
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 01:35 PM
3

She ended it with, "You'll get your wish, I'll never say no again master." I would have said something like "that's the spirit", "atta girl ", or "your master accepts your grovelling apology". What she did there was take control of the frame. She led the conversation to a place where you were uncomfortable, and you backed down. You are supposed to be the amused master. You are supposed to agree with what she said, and amplify that shit to a higher level. I guess she delivered the line in a way t…
/r/askMRP15/01/16 05:55 AM
2

Be careful with coconut oil... It's solid at room temperature... Source : i used coconut oil on my beard once (too much) and it set leaving me looking like I had been out in a snow storm
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 05:43 AM
2

Hiding the mittens will go down in history like skittles guy.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 05:41 AM
3

"by /u/stonepimpletilists, age 36", and little gold stars attached. "not now babe, I'm working on my art" "it helps me deal with all my pent up emotional baggage " We could even set up a satirical online gallery where you submit them and we all give glowing feedback....
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/16 05:38 AM
1

Describe your frame please. Tell us what kind of atmosphere you are trying to establish. You want your wife to WANT you? Or you want her to fear you? Or resent you? Act how you want to act. It's important that you transition to doing the things you want to do, and accepting the consequences. Old blue pill you might still be hanging around in there. The way you ask the question makes me think that you are trying to select the best action based on how your wife will react. That's OK to admit, if i…
/r/askMRP14/01/16 08:29 PM
2

Kids coloring book and crayons, love it! Hang them up on the fridge
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 08:04 PM
1

Yep, just reading "extreme ownership" by jocko willink and he says the same thing.
/r/TheRedPill14/01/16 08:55 AM
1

I used to dread these scenarios, now I want to create one. I agree, and I think it marks a true frame reversal. You literally did DREAD them. As a plugged in dude, the pain of feeling like you are in the sin bin, not good enough, not respected for your efforts, never "nice" enough, is real. Now, you know that she likes some drama, so you are creating some for her. You are creating learning opportunities, for both of you. You are keeping the excitement alive. You are being the practical joker. Yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/16 06:05 AM
4

I don't push past any "no." You are missing out, and potentially depriving your wife of the feeling of being totally ravished and devoured. Women fantasise a LOT about being uncontrollably desired. Often they fantasise that they are objectified, degraded, humiliated, in pain etc. Have a read of "my secret garden" by Nancy friday, or "a billion wicked thoughts". No means no (except when it doesn't), but rape is rape. Just because there are taboos out there, doesn't mean they need to be taboos ins…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/16 08:21 PM
6

How about a quick recap of the kind of environment you are trying to foster, and then you can play spot the difference. You are the prize. You are an attractive husband, a real catch for your wife. So good, in fact, that she knows other women can see it too. She can see their attraction for you. She feels really lucky to have you as her husband. You provide for her (and kids), you keep them safe, you are fun to be around, she respects you. She sees you as a man, not an old child. You display a l…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/16 08:13 PM
1

You've never pushed past a soft no? A hard no is a hard no, but soft no's are different.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/01/16 08:01 PM
-1

There's more but I'm on my phone and annoyed with my keyboard. Is it wrong that I upvoted just for this?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/16 11:57 PM
2

I think this is the reason God is not allowing us to have children- b/c he knows our marriage is just going to end Wow, they really have no filter. They just jump straight to the fucking kick to the balls when they want to shut something down. Statements like this one she said can really fuck up your frame control. She might as well have kicked you in the balls. You just looked at someone's ass: how the fuck does that escalate into what she said? I'll tell you how : because you allowed it. What …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/16 08:56 PM
2

I didn't argue with him, I stopped texting him. Is that because you just didn't feel like texting him, or is it because you felt like not texting him? One of those two is passive aggressive and manipulative.... If the only way the I seem 'fun' is when I go out and get drunk, then that's not a very healthy relationship. Where do you see yourself in this relationship? Where do you add value? Why are you trying to "seem" fun? Is that an act you need to put on? Are you trying to be somebody you are …
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 08:57 AM
4

If he wanted to hang out with his guy friends, he could have done so any day this past week. I just wanted to pull out this one thing and talk about it for a minute. See, you are trying to rationalise (on his behalf) the best way for him to spend his time. You are upset that he appears to have other priorities than you and your happiness. It's OK to feel upset about it. However, a high value man will ALWAYS have higher priorities than you and your immediate happiness. If he didn't, that would be…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/16 08:26 AM
3

Thanks bogeyd, I'm gonna check that out. We've ALL come a long way. I appreciate that he's making progress if you think he is, but in the context of this post, and my comment, he's still living out his own little story. He's hamstering, he's putting himself down. This forum, to me, is like fight club. You get in the ring, you put yourself out there, so that you get the hard licks you need. Kid gloves, or any sort of pity or empathy, are not what you come here for. We've all had to struggle our o…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 11:05 PM
2

Solid advice dude. If you want your wife to want you, you have to do all the shit you know that you should do anyway but don't have the discipline to do. This doesn't get absorbed by the new guys. "shit you know that you should do anyway"... That's the hard line connection to the matrix. Pre unplugged guys KNOW the truth, it's right there staring at them, but their egos just won't let them live that truth. They just want to complain about how its not fair, and how they deserve better. Look, just…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 08:27 PM
2

GJ getting layed while your wife fanticies about the man in the soft porn movie she was going to masturbate to before her annoying husband ruined it. Lol
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 06:41 PM
2

Dude: the first part of your post reads like some kid who always gets picked last (or not at all) at sports. Great, you had sex. Pat on the back. If you were a dude of high value, your problem would be "so many cool things, not enough time to do them all". That's what you want to get to
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 10:55 AM
4

Sidebar (---->) would be a good first step for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 10:49 AM
2

Get yourself under control before you worry about taking responsibility for the well being of others. today was the day I gave her the ultimatum So, you gave her the option a / option b ultimatum? With signed divorce papers ready to go? Or, did you just throw a little tantrum?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 06:16 AM
1

Have a read of the manipulated man by Esther vilar also if you want some more juice in your engine. And the misandry bubble from TRP sidebar.
/r/askMRP08/01/16 08:13 AM
8

I want her. I don't need her. Sounds like you've got your head straight. Treat the "date" as if it was a first date. Bring your "A Game", dress the part etc. Have you read /u/IanIronwood s "alpha moves"? Read it. Go to the date with your head screwed on firmly. Don't puss out trying to impress her, or win her back. You are giving her a chance to prove she is worthy of the prize, which means you need to BE the prize. Your title says that she "agrees" to have a drink, which suggests that you are t…
/r/askMRP07/01/16 09:12 PM
3

How do I now not come across as cold and detached? She will notice this change immediately and if I am to maintain frame I need to know what to do. Relax. You are very new to all this. What you are feeling now is an overwhelming urge to not fuck things up. You are afraid that you might displease her somehow. You are afraid that your emerging self might upset her. The way to not come across as being cold and detached is to not be cold or detached. That comes with time. You've got a lot of work ah…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/01/16 09:57 PM
2

However, is it normal for me to have to plan out an exciting fun day for her EVERY day? No. It is expected that you, as a high value man, will be having fun and exciting days every day. Your time is valuable to you, and you are using it wisely. On some of those activities, you'll be happy for her to join you if she wants. You'll have fun anyway, and she might have some fun too. makes me feel like I am her personal entertainer and must always have great ideas. No. Your ego makes you feel like tha…
/r/askMRP06/01/16 09:43 PM
3

I do not want a divorce. Tough shit? If it's happening, you better pull up your socks and start dealing with it, instead of feeling sorry for yourself and wishing it wasn't happening. As for her pointing out your RP posts : so what? Where is your frame here? Life just gave you a kick in the nuts, and much as you'd like someone to come and hold your hand, it's not gonna happen. If it wasn't your red pill posts, it would be something else. Remember that she's got her rationalisation hamster spinni…
/r/askMRP06/01/16 09:26 PM
7

Unfortunately for me, I received much more aggressive shit tests/attitudes during her ovulation and seemingly less sexual desire, whereas right before her period I can't keep her off me. OK, here's where I think you have it all backwards. Shit tests are foreplay. She wants an alpha male, and by throwing shit test after shit test at you, you have the opportunity to demonstrate those qualities. Shit tests are foreplay. Shit tests are foreplay. SHIT TESTS ARE FOREPLAY. In other words, expect the sh…
/r/TheRedPill06/01/16 09:47 AM
8

Dude, I love this field report. It reads like a "first world problem". I turned my wife on too much! HELP! Haha. Fucking brilliant. My advice regarding her sexual desires is to just explore them for yourself. As she gets used to the "new you", maybe she'll open up more, maybe she won't. Stop worrying about her becoming the wife slut and stay focused on you becoming the husband stud. If she's getting wet like you say she is, then you are definitely tapping into some primal desires for her. She's …
/r/askMRP05/01/16 08:23 PM
1

If she says no, it's because you are doing something wrong. It could literally be anything. Any combination of things that you technically have control over, but more than likely will never have completely under your control. I mean, if for whatever reason she is absolutely against the idea of sex right now, and would absolutely give you a hard no if you initiate, then technically you are doing something wrong by initiating. However, these are all technicalities. Your technique will improve with…
/r/askMRP04/01/16 08:55 PM
3

You are talking about "oneitis" I think. There is nothing wrong with developing feelings for a woman. Fucks sake, that's part of our genetic destiny. Those red pill truths are as important as hypergamy and AWALT. TRP is not just about what women do, but what men do too. Men are not immune. Have you read "The rational male" by /u/rollo-tomassi? It's essentially a complete strategy to help you recognise and avoid oneitis. The secret is about spinning plates. It's not about cutting off all your emo…
/r/TheRedPill04/01/16 07:47 AM
5

Haha, literally a drunk captain
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/16 08:00 PM
1

It's not supposed to be some performance that you need a script for. If you want to get inside the head of women, read something like "my secret garden" by Nancy friday
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/16 10:10 AM
4

Whats a good way to approach my new situation besides the obvious working out and continuing to improve me SMV? Working out and improving your SMV will guarantee that you will be in a position of abundance. Regardless of whether you are spinning plates, in a long term monogamous relationship, married with kids or single, the abundance mentality is what you need to cultivate. The single biggest thing you can do for yourself now is to cultivate that mentality of abundance. Let it penetrate to your…
/r/TheRedPill02/01/16 10:23 PM
6

Just go back to square 1. Lift, read, STFU. Yeah, your ego is gonna take a punishing, but it really deserves it. Snuff that fucker out. It's gonna be uncomfortable for a while. You are so accustomed to being in her frame that you seem not to be able to function without some form of input or validation from her. You crave her opinion so much you provoke arguments and back her into a corner just to make her lash out at you. You cannot tip toe around here. This is YOUR life we are talking about. No…
/r/askMRP02/01/16 04:36 PM
12

Here's how I handle situations like those. First, I try to assess whether the person is seeking a solution, or is just looking for someone who they can talk to. If it's the second case, and what they want is to "talk", then the plan will be to "listen" to them. in the first case, where they want help or a suggested solution, then I'll be listening and actively trying to form a mental picture of a solution as we go. That kind of conversation would be more active on my part. However, of its just a…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/16 08:26 AM
6

when I ask for a example so I can become aware of what I am doing, she can only come up with one. When I ask her to frame my behaviour from her perspective so I can be a good little boy for her I don't mind as long as you think you will have it all done before we have to leave tonight. Passive aggressive I ask if she has a issue? Same old shit. You have no frame control man.
/r/askMRP02/01/16 07:44 AM
11

What do I need to do the swallow the pill? You are 16.what you need is experience. It's no good just reading books, you need to put this stuff into practice. You need to observe red pill truths in other people's behaviours, not just in what they say. When you've "swallowed" it, you'll know it to be true, you'll see reality as it is, not just what you've read about. Imagine reading about what a rose smells like. You wouldn't truly know what a rose smells like unless you experienced it. No amount …
/r/TheRedPill01/01/16 11:59 AM
2

/u/jacktenofhearts pretty much cuts straight to the core of what you are struggling with: print his comment out and take that to the bar with you next time to reflect on it. FR: 1.5 months of trying to unplug "Trying".... Always trying. Always a struggle. It doesn't need to be. Stop looking for answers, stop seeking the truth, stop "trying". Stop defining what you are doing in those terms. Its a simple mind trick. As long as you describe what you are doing as "trying", your ego will be happy. "I…
/r/askMRP31/12/15 12:29 PM
3

Really nice comment. You got a lot of mileage out of that one point about smugness. I like it. As I was reading it, I couldn't help but see it as a post in its own right. A lot of the comments you make are probably posts in their own right. Thanks for taking the time to write it.
/r/askMRP31/12/15 12:14 PM
2

I try to encompass the red pill ideology the best I can because without it I wouldn't be where I am today. Stop "trying" to do it and just do it. You don't just sprinkle it on like sugar on your cereal, you swallow the pill whole and then live the rest of your life looking with your new eyes.
/r/TheRedPill31/12/15 12:33 AM
3

Right on. Also, it's not only about whether she is satisfied with him or not. All it takes is for the right Chad Thundercock to come swinging by and for her to get all tingly about him and the hamster will do the rest for her.
/r/TheRedPill31/12/15 12:23 AM
2

She's your first. You've got oneitis for her. You cry around her. Essentially, I'm asking that in this relationship, how would TRP help? You mean, how would seeing reality as it is instead of choosing to see it through the Walt Disney tinted glasses help? I think it's kinda self explanatory. The thing is that right now, you don't know jack shit about the red pill. You don't just "apply red pill to your relationship", you swallow the fucking pill and wake up to reality. It's not just a bunch of t…
/r/TheRedPill31/12/15 12:16 AM
3

Because this is the mother of my child I feel like she's worth the effort. Worth the effort to maintain a civil, adult relationship with, sure. But being the mother of your child does not entitled her to an exclusive romantic relationship with you. She's gotta earn that privilege. You are the prize.
/r/askMRP30/12/15 10:16 PM
2

It's not clear in your OP whether you are just recounting some conversations you had with her (which means your post has zero value) or if you actually made a threesome happen and hooked up some plates on the side? Coming to a conclusion and actually doing something about it are different things
/r/TheRedPill30/12/15 08:31 PM
1

Yeah, but the point of that is so that you actually make it. The mistake would be to get caught up in the faking of it. The faking is not IT, it's just faking. People can tell when you are faking it. Shit tests will crumble you like a motherfucker. You STFU for a little while so that you can focus on recognising them, but STFU won't last forever. You need to start passing them proactively.
/r/askMRP30/12/15 08:15 PM
1

Awesome physique, and not just old guys who can get inspired by this!
/r/MarriedRedPill30/12/15 01:45 PM
4

Men use straight talk. If he's bouncing a problem off you, or directly asking for your input, its not a test, it is what it is.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/15 10:52 AM
39

Dude: you got dreaded. Deal with your own hamster before you try to play with hers.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/15 07:50 PM
1

Well, since we are not quite in the era of programmable sex bots just yet, you are gonna have to put in a little bit of work to reverse engineer your particular model. As you know, AWALT, so there's that going in your favour. Your question: "how do I lead her and make her WANT to sext and do naughty stuff" is on the right track. A better question would be to start to ask yourself "why SHOULD she WANT to do that stuff?". What kind of mindset would she need in order to select those things as "the …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/12/15 11:20 AM
1

I would take the opportunity to really apply the things we talk about in here. If you don't have a clear idea of what you want, and what you are going to do to get it, you know you haven't gone deep enough down the rabbit hole. Go deeper. The right answers are clear to you once you actually know yourself. Try answering this question for yourself: "what's stopping me just packing up my bags quietly, leaving in the dead of night, moving to a new country, changing my identity, and living a brand ne…
/r/askMRP28/12/15 04:59 PM
3

Do you want to next her?
/r/askMRP28/12/15 02:33 PM
9

Next. You got a free ride for a while, and you learned some hands on valuable lessons in that relationship, but you've got zero invested there really. You were essentially friends with benefits for a long time. If I was you, I'd focus hard on the remainder of your studies, sort yourself out with some income, and just ride the wave til it breaks on the shore. It surely can't be long before that happens.
/r/askMRP25/12/15 07:37 PM
-1

And you still have 7 years before you reach your peak!
/r/TheRedPill24/12/15 01:35 PM
9

He's a bit OCD and ends up doing more housework that me even though I ask him to leave it for me. OK, so asking him to stop doing it hasn't worked, and you are feeling like the whole thing is becoming a nagging exercise. You could try to beat him to it, and get it done before he starts it? There is a chance that your waning attraction for him is both the cause of, and the result of, both the nagging and his "OCD". I don't wanna go too much into how he might be feeling etc, because this is a sub …
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/15 01:29 PM
7

Good Job! Now, delete that number ASAP, and go out and get 5 more, and delete those also. You've identified a sticking point in your game, so what you gotta do now is train on that specific element. Plenty of numbers out there to get. Also, having the mindset that you are gonna delete them afterwards means you wont be all clouded over thinking about whether you are gonna fuck them or not.
/r/TheRedPill24/12/15 11:59 AM
2

Regarding enforcing the insta-boundary - how do I go about this, as apparently, "I expect the woman I'm with to behave as such..." did nothing. Don't set a boundary that you can not, or will not enforce. What are the consequences? By the sounds of it, if she breaches a boundary that you set as such, then you need to dump her. If you expect the woman you are with to behave a certain way, and yet you tolerate otherwise, then your boundary is bullshit. Either enforce it by dumping her, or drop the …
/r/askMRP23/12/15 10:28 PM
11

Sounds like a lounge lizard to me. He certainly has no game. He might have just enough to get you to fuck him though. You say he sleeps around, is that something that he told you? He really sounds lame, not a high value guy at all. I would put money on it that most women would describe him as sleazy, or creepy. Next.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/15 09:29 PM
2

You are in her frame, big time. Rather than go into saying why marriage is a bad deal for you, lets just examine your perspective. This opened a serious can of trust issues, which, we eventually got through. Great! So she's just learned to accept that you are a high value male who can't help but attract attention from other women? Or, and this is where my money is, you've somehow tried to convince her that you will "change your ways", that you'll settle down for her, that you are trustworthy and…
/r/askMRP23/12/15 09:22 PM
46

Gotta love that double standard...
/r/TheRedPill23/12/15 03:54 PM
89

Ouch dude. Shame you had to learn the hard way, but great field report nonetheless. Yes, you were an idiot, but you got lucky(ish). Also, kudos for calling her up to alert her when you found out. Handled like a true gentleman.
/r/TheRedPill23/12/15 11:53 AM
3

I can explain that I wasn't about to put my dick in that girl and provide comfort, or I can A&A it (which if it is really a comfort test is failing it). I don't agree. Why would you be explaining, or defending yourself here? You've done nothing wrong. Any explanation or defence is gonna come across as back-pedalling. Like you were caught doing something you shouldn't have been, and now you are trying to talk your way out of it. Another way of saying it is that you would be viewing the situation …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/15 09:42 AM
4

I'm fairly sure that in NMMNG, Glover says that you should avoid doing things in secret, or sneaking around. Own your shit. Who cares if she reads what you write? Make some posts about how you are owning your shit. Stop posting anything that's about boosting your ego. The whole grab your dick Gay test thing is a shit test. Agree and amplify the shit out of that. When it comes to her finding anything you wrote online, Don't be the little boy who is embarrassed because his mommy found his porn sta…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/15 08:45 AM
5

It's OK to buy your wife plane tickets dude, as long as you own the decision. If you felt that somehow you gave in to an unreasonable request, or if she used an unreasonable tone, then you likely failed a shit test. Don't worry, there'll be plenty more for you to pass.
/r/askMRP23/12/15 12:24 AM
6

Mantra: "I am alive, all that matters is now"
/r/askMRP21/12/15 03:46 PM
1

His typical response was not to do what I was demanding, but to tell me he'd handle it. And then he'd handle it on his own time, in his own way, and expect me not to interfere. I don't know if that would be seen as MRP acceptable or not, though. I think that this sounds reasonable. If you are "demanding" that he do something, then I guess that you'd lose a bit of respect for him if he followed your demands. You probably don't want to be the wife who goes around demanding things of her husband. Y…
/r/askMRP21/12/15 09:45 AM
1

Unless there was some sort of deal in place before hand, then my best guess is that she's got some covert contract that you are gonna clean up. She believes that you should just see that it needed to be done, and that if you don't do it, then you are just a messy little boy who is happy to live in a pig sty and needs his mommy to clean up everything. On the other hand, if she makes a mess and then doesnt clean up after herself, thats also a bit childish. You can clean up if you want to, but bewa…
/r/askMRP21/12/15 09:37 AM
1

It does sound a bit like a shit test, and it does look like you were struggling a bit through it. You didn't totally mess it up, but your frame control was a bit lacking. Me: yeah that's why , i talk to a lot of bitches. Thats the spirit you wanna be going for. Thats a bit of Agree and Amplify for you. Me: I just told you she added me and she's my cousins friend This is the kind of thing you wanna avoid: trying to deflect, explain, elaborate, rationalise. Me: if you break it you will pay for it …
/r/askMRP21/12/15 09:24 AM
10

Believing that you are entitled to, or have earned "decent treatment" is a covert contract. Read the material. It's clear you havn't grokked NMMNG. No relationship is worth it if I have to spell out every damn thing to her, such as "hey, it's my birthday, could you be pleasant today, pretty please?" Acta non verba. You are not gonna spell everything out for her. You are not gonna speak about your whiny inner child to her. You are gonna focus on being awesome no matter what she does. It's about y…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/15 09:02 PM
2

Of course it's asking too much. You get what you deserve, and just because it's your birthday, that doesn't entitle you to more than you are worth. Maybe your mom will fix you a special dinner? It sounds like you believe in unconditional love. Only your mother could love you unconditionally. If she was a narcissist, or she's dead already, then tough shit, you lost your one shot at being truly loved for who you are
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/15 08:52 PM
1

On your birthday, SMV increases automatically What the fuck are you talking about? You mean to say that just because a particular day happens to be the anniversary of the day that you left your mother's body, that women will see you as extra attractive for 24 hours? Do you even understand SMV? You don't, but I think you think you do. If two dudes are equal in all other respects, but it happens to be one dudes birthday that day, you are saying that women are more likely to fuck the birthday boy? …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/15 08:49 PM
1

I'm thinking that it's less about her being bitchy and more about you having some big covert contracts about how you think she should be behaving because it's your birthday. In that case this is your fault. And removing your presence or some other punishment is actually just you being butt hurt.
/r/askMRP19/12/15 08:42 PM
1

Exactly. Total covert contract
/r/askMRP19/12/15 08:38 PM
7

Dude is a beta orbiter, or a fuck buddy. Hard to tell. You'll probably never know. She argues about why you dont cheat, because maybe she ants an excuse to dump your ass for him. She's moving out. She freaks out when you ask her questions. She definitely wants to fuck him, and she will, given the chance, or she already has done it. Impossible to know. Worthless to know. Its got to here, and so now its up to you what you wanna do about it. Let it go. Let her go. Dont try to stop her. Dont try to …
/r/askMRP18/12/15 07:53 AM
1

Take the punches. Draw them in. Fog. Lower your defense shields. Stop seeing every interaction as some sort of epic battle where there will be a winner and a loser. Stop seeing it as a fight, or the prelude to a fight. Recognise that her emotional state is not completely dependent on you or your actions. You are not responsible for those feelings. You are just an easy target for her to vent at. Let her blow off some steam, let her get all that shit out of her system. Dont be a little bitch about…
/r/askMRP18/12/15 07:46 AM
1

Agreed. I drastically lowered my carb consumption, I don't bother counting calories, and I just eat protein and fat when I feel like it. Been in stronglifts 5x5 for 4 months, watching the diet for 5. Got a DEXA scan before starting the weight program and got a follow up recently : minus 13 lbs of fat, increased lean mass by 6lbs. Each leg is the same weight as before now, but has 2lbs less fat and 2lbs more muscle. Need to focus on my upper body in the new year, and I'll get another DEXA in a fe…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/15 07:13 PM
8

The secret to being a great leader is to recognise that you are only a leader if you have people following you. Otherwise you are just a man going his own way on his own. People, in general, do not follow orders blindly, unless the orders come from a perceived authority. If that's the kind of marriage you want, then assert your authority and enforce consequences for disobedience. The other type of leadership is where you are so good at what you are doing, that people just naturally fall into lin…
/r/askMRP17/12/15 06:38 PM
8

First off, you need to accept that you might not be able to have your cake and eat it. Blue pill betas like to have cake. They can look at it and fantasise about it, but probably never eat it. Alpha males eat cake. They like to look at it and be around it, but only because they intend to devour it. And the cake itself wants to be eaten. It has no other purpose. It's role is to be eaten. Blah blah blah. (reading a lot of crazy shit right now which may be affecting my neural patterns a bit...) OK,…
/r/askMRP17/12/15 02:49 PM
1

My advice: stop trying to convince yourself that any of this matters. It doesn't. Instead of worrying about how you are living your life, or what you "should" be doing, focus instead on actually living your life and just doing stuff. You cannot control her, ever. All you can hope to control is your own actions, and your own choices over how you perceive reality. You cannot argue with reality, but your ego will absolutely try to make it feel all cosy for you if possible, or will do the opposite a…
/r/askMRP17/12/15 10:27 AM
2

Sure. Fuck her right in the pussy. You sir have a great gift with words. You should consider writing a book or something
/r/askMRP17/12/15 10:21 AM
2

My only comment is that ego will be a stumbling block for you. Just wanted to dig back in here and say that this comment was the single biggest turning point for me on this journey. It prompted me to read stuff by Eckhart Tolle and Jed McKenna among others. Unplugging from ego is the most ridiculous thing I could have thought about just a few months ago, and now I can say that it's been a profoundly critical milestone on the journey. Not really trying to say thanks or anything, but just wanted t…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/15 06:17 AM
12

Buy her a hamster wheel, a bag of skittles and a copy of the rational male for christmas. Now that its all out in the open, you really have no choice but to roll with it and have fun. Shes got a lot of new material now which she can use to mess with your frame: "you are only doing what your internet friends tell you", "oh, is that dread you are trying to do to me?", "This isnt a 'shit test' you know, I'm really pissed off with you" etc etc. Agree and Amplify, Disagree and Amplify, Fog, whatever.…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/15 09:43 PM
6

I might be wrong but I think that the women on here are not specifically seeking RP men but "high value" men. Same way that RP men are not specifically looking for RP women.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/15 03:00 PM
2

One time on an anniversary card, I thanked her for providing a challenging relationship that encouraged me to constantly up my game, or something to that effect.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/15 11:10 AM
8

I think that the realisation that men and women love differently was, for me, the most difficult jolt of unplugging. Letting go of that Disney dream was gut wrenching. It kinda came all at once along with some other truths, but this was the hardest by far. You can still love her childlike nature, her sweet pussy and tits, and her adorable feminine qualities. I think I love them even more now, because I understand that its on me to enjoy them while I have access to them, while its "my turn". Be t…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/15 05:37 AM
2

When you are replying to a shit test, the specific words are not so important. The objective is to demonstrate two things : firstly, that whatever she said has had zero negative impact on your general demeanor, and second, that your general feelings towards her have either stayed the same, or improved. A playful response does this. It's hard to take this playfulness, which is why STFU is better if you genuinely feel out of frame because of what she said. Try to imagine how you would deal with a …
/r/askMRP13/12/15 08:44 PM
2

OK, let me pull some out for you. She came to me all upset that I was making drama "Yeah baby, I'm a full on drama queen" You tried to verbally initiate, she declined your offer, you walked away, and then she accuses you of drama, and you accepted her interpretation of the situation by trying to defend yourself. Why is it important to you to tell her you are not making drama? Why do you feel the need to set her straight on such a petty topic? As soon as you enter into some sort of debate with he…
/r/askMRP13/12/15 06:10 PM
3

my first divorce Love it :) Reminds me of a joke where you introduce your wife as "my first wife" or "my current wife". Have you been divorced more than once? Wow.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/15 12:21 PM
1

The problem you have right now is that you think you need special advice for your special situation. The advice is always the same, because it always works. Lift, read, STFU. That's the core message, and the rest (dread etc) is further finessing once you've got the basics covered. I'm still not convinced that you are not a troll, but so far, we havnt banned you yet. You are only allowed to have one victim puke. This is your last warning. Stop coming in here and just spewing the stuff that she sa…
/r/askMRP12/12/15 07:30 PM
3

Thanks for writing this! Would be a shame to see it get lost in the vampiresquidina / whattheL1 shit show....
/r/askMRP12/12/15 07:18 PM
2

Shit test spiral. Continuous failing of shit tests. She eventually just started to wholesale dump her shit on you, which probably left her feeling quite unburdened, and then you end up at the airport feeling guilty and hamstering away about how your kid can't use Skype. It sucks, I get it. Just accept it. This situation has every potential to be a major turning point for you. This could be the time where you say to yourself "no more". You might look back on this moment with fondness in the futur…
/r/askMRP12/12/15 07:10 PM
2

For fucks sake dude. Your post is like a field report of "how to fail shit tests". Literally every interaction you describe with her is a text book shit test fail. I face palmed at one point, which is not so easy while reading on a smart phone! You should be shutting the fuck up more. Seriously. The shit tests that she hit you with are totally obvious to anyone who knows what they are doing, and your shitty responses tell me that you don't know what you are doing. But that's OK, that's what we a…
/r/askMRP12/12/15 06:56 PM
6

Now the logical part of me wants to just say hey, this is your business, if it is making you so stressed out you need to seriously dial it back until you can manage the stress properly, but in doing so I fear I will hurt her feelings and bring out her insecurity, betraying her trust in me as a leader rather than reinforcing it. You have all you need right there. Stop being afraid that you will hurt her feelings. Those feelings are hers to deal with. You are not responsible for her feelings. If s…
/r/askMRP12/12/15 06:25 PM
2

Maybe, but there is at least a small chance that she's doing it to escape from the moment, or that the moment doesn't engage her enough to stay bothered by it : "let's just get this over with"...
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/15 05:41 PM
1

Haha, it's probably their worst fear that "creeps" like us figure out how to push the right buttons to make a woman melt away into your presence. It's like when you put a rabbit on its back: it kinda goes into a trance. When you dominate a woman properly, they literally cannot resist. Their hamster gets short circuited. It's like when a dude gets a boner and has only one thing in his mind. Putting a woman into that state is only possible through dominant behaviours. Of course they will say they …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/15 05:54 AM
2

Haha! To be honest, I used to tune her out and chalk it up to her way of letting me have "awesome" starfish. I'd be getting my groove on and she'll seem into it, and then she'll just ramble into some conversation starter about some logistical thing or other. Mentally, she's just going somewhere else. After we are done, it's back to reading the "news" on her phone (celebrity gossip). I've been practising presence a lot recently, so its very noticeable when she's "not there". I suppose it'll be wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/15 04:58 AM
3

James deens stuff is great. Obviously there is a script of some sort underlying it, but the reactions of the girls he works with can't be scripted. The animal magnetism cannot be faked. Somewhere in reddit there are women talking about his work, wondering what he is whispering into the girls ear, imagining him pushing them around like that, fantasising about the dominance. They go wild for him, and this set of gifs really distills the "magic". Blue pill dudes will look at his cute little boy fac…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/15 11:15 AM
1

The red pill is about sexual strategy. That's why we are here. If you wanna get all upset about the illuminati, that's fine, but it won't get you laid.
/r/TheRedPill07/12/15 02:00 PM
2

Keep it simple. Amen
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/15 01:57 PM
3

Can I say something like: "I went to your grandmothers for her birthday and I went to your fathers for his birthday, I know you went to my grandmothers for Christmas last year, but I can only see my grandmother once a year, your grandmother lives closer to you, if you want to go see her thats fine but I will go see my grandmother for Christmas". Of course you can say that. Who's gonna stop you? The biggest issue I think you have is that you some how think it matters what you say. It doesn't. Any…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/15 12:54 PM
3

How bout you stop calling yourself "vamps husband" for a start. Your post is framed so much from her perspective that in all honesty, I am hovering over the delete button. It's fairly clear that you have not internalised anything that we are saying, so either you are completely pathetic or you are a fabricated identity set up to do some trolling. Your tone is totally unlike any of the other men on here who are actually stepping up to their responsibility and making their marriage work. Start own…
/r/askMRP05/12/15 10:16 AM
1

Yep, it's true. The book exists: I've seen it ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/15 11:49 PM
9

First off, your victim puke really belongs in /r/askmrp. You deserve the beating you are gonna get on here, iron sharpens iron. Secondly, stop hamstering. You are talking yourself into a comfortable lie where she is the bad guy, and you've been "doing your best". That lie will offer you no protection from reality. When it comes tumbling down, you'll either have to accept that your best was not good enough for her, or, that you were lying to yourself about your true capabilities. Nobody on here w…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/15 08:39 PM
1

Alpha move right there. Bonus points if she catches you flirting with some other chick at her office while you are on your way to meet her. Pre selection bonus. Ironwoods "alpha moves" is the Bible for this mindset.
/r/askMRP02/12/15 08:23 PM
1

Solid advice dude.
/r/askMRP02/12/15 08:19 PM
1

My wife works a few minutes away and I'd ultimately like to progress to a quick midday rendezvous. Have a ways to go first. Once you can avoid letting yourself make it a covert contract, I see no reason why you can't just straight up "progress" to that point right now. Worst case scenario is that she takes you up on the offer and now you gotta go making arrangements for it etc, so make sure you actually have a plan in mind before you send that text. Expect her to reject it, so approach it in as …
/r/askMRP02/12/15 07:26 PM
3

I've done the sexting thing. It's fun, especially if your wife gets in on the action, but it's a tricky one to manage. You need to be ultra clear in your mind what you are trying to establish. Ideally, the texts would just be some fun in their own right. Don't let it become some covert contract. If you make a commitment by text to "do a thing", then make sure you follow through. In other words, don't say you are gonna fuck her in the ass and then chicken out later when she lays on the LMR. Say i…
/r/askMRP02/12/15 04:33 PM
1

Not sure if you are being sarcastic.... The meat of his FR is about how he had reflected on how he was approaching things at the beginning, recognised that he was not going "all in", decided to really start owning his shit, and he has seen a huge improvement in results. Every relationship will have different specifics, so I would assume he had to tailor some things to suit his needs. Once he "got it", he turned his ship around.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/15 04:24 PM
2

He turned himself around, and then shit just worked out.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/15 02:40 PM
8

If you want an awesome long term relationship, then you need to be awesome, long term. Most dudes fuck up by taking their foot off the gas. You cannot allow yourself to stop being awesome. Now,this is hard to do if you are just pretending to be awesome, or worse, doing whatever she tells you would be awesome. You need to set your own high standard of awesomeness and then smash it every day. The sidebar books will give you some pointers, but the key point is that if/when you are awesome, and not …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/15 08:45 PM
1

Great answer
/r/askMRP27/11/15 02:51 PM
1

First off, stop answering her calls while you are at work. For example, I have my phone setup with some rejection SMS that I reject her call with. It says: "I'm in a meeting, what's up?". She knows it's the automatic text, and she "doesn't like" it because she knows I can't have that many meetings, but she can't do anything about that except tell me how she doesn't like it, and that's fine by me. She gets "the message" anyway: when I'm at work I'm AT WORK, and when I'm at home I'm AT HOME (don't…
/r/askMRP27/11/15 01:48 PM
4

Computing doubles as an industry (in terms of number of people employed there) about every year or so. That means after 2 years working in the industry, you are already in the top 25% of talent in terms of experience. The "old" guys now, who've been around since punch cards, are a tiny minority, with a shit tonne of built up knowledge that is applicable regardless of the technology of the minute. And the majority of people working in the industry have little to no experience, because of the grow…
/r/TheRedPill27/11/15 04:56 AM
3

Oh yeah, it's thanksgiving today... I was wondering why things seemed a bit quiet around here ;) Thanks for your post, and thanks to the community in here for showing me that there was a better way forward.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/15 10:06 PM
1

It seems as if I've broken frame and she's lashing out at me because I've become beta. She's "lashing out at you" to see if you really are the alpha male you appear to be. When you fail those shit tests, you confirm to her that you were not really alpha at all, and just so beta bux pretending to be an alpha. Shit tests are foreplay dude. She is not lashing out at you to punish you for becoming a beta, she's shit testing you because she wants to see your attractive alpha dominance. Are you liftin…
/r/askMRP26/11/15 10:01 PM
3

She's adopting a masculine approach, and leaving a feminine gap, which you seem to be happy to fill. Neither of you are biologically supercharged for the roles you are currently working to maintain. Flip the script, take your role as the masculine presence in the relationship seriously.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/15 01:43 PM
4

It's fine to reflect on what mistakes you made to end up right where you are right now, but be careful that those thoughts don't consume you. For example, instead of owning your shit right now, you could be just hamstering away about how you fucked up, and feeling sorry for yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and start owning whatever it is you are doing right now. As for all the shit she is saying, "watch what they do, not what they say". Maybe she's trying to dread you, in some misguide…
/r/askMRP25/11/15 06:19 PM
10

Lackluster sexual performance is an indicator of low desire. Like she is doing a chore that just needs to get out of the way so she can move on with the things she WANTS to be doing instead. Maybe you've covertly negotiated BJs onto the task list instead of them being on the IMPORTANT stuff list? You can't negotiate this stuff. If it's a lackluster performance, that means she's got something better she'd rather be doing. Outcome independence is not just about whether you get a BJ or not. Are you…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/15 03:02 PM
1

When you leave the right amount of space, the Sex will lead itself to you, grasshopper ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/15 01:40 PM
3

I would have said, "You're right, it is out of character... Im having some oysters so it gets my engines purring for later." Or even just "You're right, it is out of character...". No need for an explanation, let the hamster do that for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/15 01:05 PM
2

Ultimately, you can only judge yourself. You gotta stop seeking validation. It's great that you are making progress, and you do sound like you got things moving in the right direction. I think it's fair to say you don't have a "dead bedroom" anymore, even if that's mainly because you took the action out of the bedroom ;) Focus on "frame" specifically, and what that means to YOU. The "information is literally life changing" only in so far as it opens your eyes to a new perception of reality. The …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/15 12:00 PM
1

I hear you on all of this. So, since we've got the "dick measuring" out of the way, my advice is to continue spinning plates, and incorporate some of the criteria you are listing into your selection process. Be more ruthless with letting plates drop, and be more open to allowing plates to become more important in your life if they've earned it. Consider each plate a potential candidate for promotion until they prove themselves unworthy, and then let them drop. By holding onto the plate spinning …
/r/askMRP25/11/15 10:28 AM
2

What you are missing is that you assume that looks are the primary motivator of female attraction (as it is for men). Looks are important, but they are not the most important. Women are attracted to masculine behaviour far more than looks. Looks will get you some initial interest perhaps, but looks can be judged at a glance, whereas strong masculine behaviour must be discovered through interaction. Men could walk down the street and mentally say "yes" or "no" about every woman they pass. The que…
/r/askMRP25/11/15 09:23 AM
2

I simply was not in any state to even begin to trust a woman with fidelity. It will only ever be "trust but verify", with a heavy dose of outcome independence on top which keeps you from developing oneitis. Are you aspiring to oneitis? What does your ideal LTR look like? You want to commit monogamously to one woman? You want one woman to commit monogamously to you? If it's the latter, you are in for some pain I think. Women don't see commitment in the same way as men. Men are the more romantic o…
/r/askMRP25/11/15 09:02 AM
1

Part of me wanted to drag her back to the grocery store and have the checkout girl tell her how funny and cool I am, but that would have been crazy as fuck, right? But mommy! That cute girl (who is paid to be nice to people) laughed at my funny joke! Come quick, watch how she thinks I am funny! Glad to hear that you handled yourself well here, and your advice is spot on for OP.
/r/askMRP25/11/15 05:34 AM
1

Haha. Wow.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/15 07:09 PM
1

I never served in the military so I have no internal intuitive understanding of what you mean, but I absolutely agree that you need to get to the mental place where you KNOW that you can handle anything that is thrown at you because you've already put yourself through worse. You know yourself, and your limits, and you embrace the pressure of working at your limit, to push beyond it constantly, instead of sitting around wishing things could be easier.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/15 06:00 PM
5

Yep, and your post is a victim puke. I would diagnose that you have some more internalising to do. You are somewhere between denial and anger. and also his need to feel valued and loved This, to me, is your biggest weakness. You don't "need" those things. You expect them, as they are "value" that your wife adds to your life. It's how she pays her way. You are the prize. Sex is the currency.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/15 05:21 PM
6

Opening data to targeted advertising opens the floodgates to more sinister ends. Those floodgates are already wide open. Privacy policies get updated to cover somebodies ass legally. The "privacy policy" does not give you privacy. Nor does it prevent "more sinister ends". It simply is a politically correct thing to have which creates the illusion that privacy is respected. However with this move, we stand to be more vulnerable than we were previously. Unlikely.
/r/TheRedPill24/11/15 09:14 AM
12

That's what they do. They want to be dominated by an alpha, and they test your status constantly. Next time you notice a shit test, have a little chuckle to yourself, because that's equivalent to reading the lines of code in the matrix. Just look right past the words she is using and notice the message behind her test. She wants you to prove your status to her. Sometimes STFU, sometimes agree and amplify, sometimes a bit of amused mastery, but never butt hurt. To be clear I wasn't butt hurt, jus…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/15 07:09 AM
7

If you think that your Privacy (with a capital P) is protected by a privacy policy, then you my friend are terribly naive. Most likely, any changes planned are in order to facilitate more aggressive advertising or some other such thing. Your "data" is already accessible by any sufficiently powerful entity that wants it. The matrix has you. Accept it, or go live off the grid in a cave
/r/TheRedPill24/11/15 07:03 AM
19

Shit tests are foreplay dude. Learn to love them. Edit: she shit tested you about looking weak, just as you were getting into bed to have sex. The appropriate response was not to get all butt hurt about the challenge to your strength, but to say something like "weak? I'll show you weak!" as you grab her onto the bed and caveman her.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/15 06:56 AM
3

Your wife doesn't DREAD you fucking other women, she DREADs you getting another woman pregnant or becoming emotionally involved with another woman. Both of these are DREAD on a primal level. They would indicate that your resources are gonna be split between her and whoever the newcomer is. To me, getting a vasectomy seems to eliminate one of these potential dread avenues. Unless of course you don't tell her you got one.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/15 08:36 PM
1

Haha, that's the spirit.
/r/askMRP23/11/15 08:25 PM
1

On that we can agree. But nothing worth doing is ever easy. "embrace the suck" someone on here once said. Take comfort in the discomfort. It will make you a stronger human being, a better you. If two people in the relationship are facing their own reality, and staying together by choice, and enjoying it, and not forcing each other to deal with unnecessary shit, then that's as close to soul mates as I think you can get. The Disney version only works on TV, and is designed to keep the human spirit…
/r/askMRP23/11/15 08:23 PM
1

There is a comfort in the amount of control an addict feels over their lives even if they realise that the behaviour is degenerate. There is a uniformity that they crave. A uniformity that is difficult to achieve with interpersonal relationships.
/r/askMRP23/11/15 08:07 PM
1

Nobody forces you to accept the red pill anymore than you were forced to believe the Disney version. Given the choice, I'd prefer the red pill any day and would never go back to being a blue pill Disney fan boy. There is just something more primal and intimate knowing that there is no safety net, and that life holds you accountantable at every turn.
/r/askMRP23/11/15 07:44 PM
2

I guess it's a start if you at least accept it as a dream or fantasy :) just keep it to yourself and unload it with your buddies over a few beers. AWALT after all
/r/askMRP23/11/15 07:40 PM
2

Read "chasing the scream" by johann hari. Changed my entire perception of addiction. Alternatively, for the TLDR, just look up the "rat park" results. Addicts are missing deep social connection. They feel isolated and make up for it with addictive behaviours to give their lives some meaning. The "chemical hooks" are not at all as important as you would think. Further, it's not so much the addiction that controls his life (lots of high functioning alcoholics / heroin addicts etc) but the fact tha…
/r/askMRP23/11/15 06:04 PM
5

"Oh, I get it... I screwed up by questioning your absolute authority. So sorry." This. During the text exchange, you were likely pissed off because of the irrationality of it. You lost frame. You didnt recognise the shit test. All if this is confirmed absolutely by the fact that she could hit the nail so squarely on the head about why you were upset. How about this: you have a covert contract that says if you alpha up, your wife will turn into an obeying sex slave who can't get enough of you and…
/r/askMRP23/11/15 06:01 PM
2

Maybe drop Michelle? Looks like a strong oneitis forming there.
/r/TheRedPill23/11/15 09:17 AM
6

A little cuddle to validate her emotion is probably ok. You are talking too much though. Don't ask her what's wrong, why would you do that? You already know what she's stewing over, so why would you draw that out verbally? Maybe instead, you could have played around a little with her and lead her in a gentle dance. Women care about how they feel RIGHT NOW. It's irrelevant whatever she was bothered by as long as you pull the oak move of giving her shelter from her own emotional shit storm. Don't …
/r/askMRP23/11/15 08:48 AM
2

No problem. Now start owning this shit.
/r/askMRP23/11/15 08:28 AM
2

Excuses
/r/askMRP23/11/15 05:22 AM
5

Excuses.
/r/askMRP23/11/15 05:22 AM
6

You are the captain. Your first officer is raising a concern to you about the direction you are leading. What do you do? You have mountains of debt. Cool. That's reality. What are you doing about it? What's your plan? Is your current lifestyle "stuck in a rut"? It doesn't sound like you are captaining your ship. It sounds like you've thrown yourself on the mercy of the weather and are just clinging on hoping that the ship doesn't break apart in the storm, and hoping that sometime soon, things wi…
/r/askMRP23/11/15 05:22 AM
2

I think things are going to get better. When each of you is owning their own shit instead of throwing it at one another, things can ONLY get better. Then, with a dose of red pill on top of that, your sex lives will improve beyond what you thought. Just know that nowhere is there any guarantee that the amazing sex you'll be having will be with each other. "true love" is an active, conscious and continuous CHOICE, not a compulsion. Own your shit, stay true to yourself, and learn how to stop lettin…
/r/askMRP22/11/15 09:09 AM
1

No disagreement, but, isn't that the true pain of unplugging? That rationality and "equality" are the Disney make believe? Same as male rape (well not THE SAME as male rape, but you know what I mean.)
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/15 12:42 AM
6

Haha. This dude has oneitis. What a beta sucker.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/15 12:38 AM
1

Love it!
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/15 12:07 AM
5

Probably worth staying away even longer than you were planning to? I mean, you dosed the hamster up pretty good with that one, and you probably need a bit of space to clear your own head so that you can bounce back like nothing happened. This was a pretty strong "push" (she "pulled back as if I had slapped her.") so when the captain returns, he should bring with him a big bag of skittles and some" pull". I guess she'll be bringing up her saggy pussy for a while as a shit test when you initiate a…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/15 08:12 PM
4

You have zero intellectual grasp of the philosophy.
/r/askMRP21/11/15 09:21 AM
7

What you are doing here is "thinking". Making up a little story to tell yourself how the world is, so that you can be happy and understand it. However, the problem is that you are "thinking". Your hamster is guaranteed to come up with a way to make you think the world makes sense. Unfortunately, it is not at all guaranteed that the story your hamster tells you is actually the truth. Stop listening to your hamster. Specifically, what I see in your post is a story which puts your wife as the prize…
/r/askMRP21/11/15 08:48 AM
0

as you said, when it happens on autopilot, you're slipping. And the great thing about realising that you are slipping, in the moment, is that boom, you are off autopilot. All you need to do is catch yourself slipping. Then, the bigger challenge is not focusing your attention on how "bad" you are for slipping, or how "good" you are for catching yourself slipping. You want pure conscious presence. You don't want to sit there in the moment listening to the voice in your head.
/r/TheRedPill21/11/15 07:34 AM
2

Perfect.
/r/askMRP20/11/15 06:28 PM
1

So i'm writing here trying to get some advice what i did right/wrong. ^ This is what you are doing wrong. You can't keep running back to the Internet for validation. We'll give you pointers and our opinions, but only you can decide what's "right" and "wrong". Are you clear on your frame? Are you a man with a plan? Are you owning your shit?
/r/askMRP20/11/15 10:30 AM
2

You are in her frame big time. You are wearing an occulus rift through which you see reality the way she wants you to see it. Well, not strictly true. You are choosing to tell yourself a little story about everything she says or does which your cute little rationalisation hamster can use to convince you that you are fighting against some insurmountable odds, and that it would be better to just give up and go back to your old ways. "stop giving a shit" is probably the best and most succinct piece…
/r/askMRP20/11/15 09:38 AM
3

Being absolutely present in the moment does not absolve you of the consequences of your actions. If you are a lazy fuck, then sure, go eat that McDonald's. Even if you are not a lazy fuck, go eat the McDonald's. Do it because you consciously chose to do it in the present moment, and not because you were distracted by your thoughts and did it on autopilot. Saying that the future doesn't exist, and never will is not the same as saying that your actions don't have consequences. Fantasising about th…
/r/TheRedPill20/11/15 09:26 AM
3

I'm not talking about "the world", I'm talking about "your world". You had a shitty first marriage, and stuck it out for decades by the sound of it. You survived that, and you are surviving now. And you are almost 70. I'm just saying that your story is inspirational.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/15 05:08 AM
3

I loved the chase, but a good LTR were the best years of my life. It's great that you are not a bitter grumpy old dude. Kudos to you!
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 06:54 PM
15

oh please. take this female imperative BDSM bs elsewhere. Your house, your rules, consider me reprimanded ;) All I am really saying is that I agree with /u/flat-white that a little last minute resistance might be a good idea, but unless the dude understands the story, then it might not have the desired outcome. I'm not into hardcore BDSM and nor is my wife, but I can confirm that she's been way more responsive to dominant behaviour than I would have predicted, pre TRP
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/15 06:22 PM
8

It's also a good starting point for a bit of physical dominance, and again, a safe word is essential. I don't want to break the illusion by verbally asking her if a soft no is a hard no, so I just increase my initiation to be a bit more aggressive. I'm not talking about "shoving it in there", I'm talking about getting a bit more physical with grabbing her, forcing her to move a bit, dirty talk and so on. If you don't have a safe word, then you can't actually dominate properly. And to me, a soft …
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/15 04:30 PM
13

Also, maybe when he initiates don't just say yes right away, make a playful refusal and turn it into a game so there's more foreplay. Even 5 minutes can make a huge difference for your own mental and physical response. Wow! A "soft no" spotted in the wild! This is good advice, as long as the dude understands the process of female arousal. If he's "red pill" I guess he would know. But if he's a classic "nice guy" I can tell you 100% that he'll have an issue "pushing through last minute resistance…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/15 02:18 PM
4

The best way for OP to handle is to NOT address the details of it, focus on himself and his self improvement, and keep going, keep passing those shit tests, dont' fall for the anger, and focus on being an oak now. Yeah. OP admits here that he gets "infuriated" at some of the obvious shit tests that come his way. He's been failing on those, and his wife ended up here looking for a male perspective. She definitely got one. And, we can see the root cause of her initial hamstering was him failing sh…
/r/askMRP19/11/15 01:45 PM
11

I’ll always be a beta at heart because I really do like being in a relationship. There is no red pill wisdom that says you can't cultivate relationships. The wisdom says you should be aware of your potential for oneitis and not get over committed to one girl. Spin plates dude. You can have as many or as few as you like. And you can share more of your life with them if you like than just sex. Just keep your "commitment card" safe (avoid marriage).
/r/TheRedPill19/11/15 10:24 AM
0

She simply said that it's much easier to run a classroom that way. Yep. Thus is the biggest problem with the "education" system we have today in the West. The only thing that is guaranteed as an outcome is that children's minds will be shaped to fall in line with authority and never question it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/15 09:13 AM
3

By the way, here's the OP: https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3spbff/wife_needing_advice Sometimes I get things like "oh, are you being 'alpha'?" It's fucking infuriating. Problem solved. Those are shit tests that you are failing by getting "infuriated". You are breaking frame there. She's trying to shame you (perhaps subconsciously) about what you are doing, and it's working. You need to stop losing your shit when she tests you like this. By the way, it's really great to see you in here. …
/r/askMRP19/11/15 07:15 AM
2

There might have been evolutionary selection in favour of those "bullshit" traits. Seems to me like that would be a sensible "rule" for evolution to discover, since it only "cares" about propagation of genetic material. Compare it to a rule that said "men should be violent towards women". A rule like that wouldn't have evolved since it wouldn't lead to more offspring for anyone. Now, even if we did evolve to "protect women", that doesn't mean that we morally "should" do it, or that there is some…
/r/TheRedPill18/11/15 11:13 PM
7

"the moral animal - why we are the way we are" is a great treatise of evolutionary psychology. The evolutionary selection pressure that shaped humanity happened over millions of years. I could argue "billions" too, but that would derail the thread ;) The logical fallacy in your post is the you are trying to rationalise this evolutionary pressure through the eyes of modern society. Evolution does not have a grand plan. That means that it is quite possible for us to create a society that does not …
/r/TheRedPill18/11/15 03:23 PM
2

The "specific issue" here is that you tried to set a boundary that you cannot or will not enforce. Your own emotions in relation to it stem from the powerlessness of the situation that you put yourself in. You tried to "control" her, and you are feeling upset that she did not follow your commands. You need to accept that you cannot actually control her firstly. Secondly, you need to accept that your emotions and feelings on the matter are totally yours to own. Don't try to use them as bargaining…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/15 10:44 AM
2

Get out of her frame. You are allowing her view of your past to colour your memory of it and the way it "affects your relationship". When she brings up the past infidelity, she gets to watch you squirm for her. She hopes that by framing the past as something which persists into the present, you will attune your behaviour to what she thinks she wants. Her feelz are real for her, but you are letting them be real for you too. If you are not cheating right now, and are in fact committed to making th…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/15 05:40 AM
1

its just hard to treat the mother of my children that way Yeah. A tricky one. Just start off slowly. Running your fingers through her hair gently, and then grabbing a big fistful firmly, but not "yanking", is a good start. Imagine you are just giving her a head massage, but you just linger for an extra couple of seconds. Same with kisses on the neck: just linger a but longer with the kiss and let your teeth get invoved. No need to bite or anything, just introduce your teeth as a lingering afterm…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/15 04:09 PM
1

should i tell her to go back on it. If that's what you want to tell her
/r/askMRP17/11/15 10:53 AM
1

You didn't try dread. You tried to negotiate with her from a position of no leverage.
/r/askMRP17/11/15 06:57 AM
2

Yeah, but you interpreted it all wrong. To you, her list became a list of hoops you need to jump through for her. Maybe in a few years, you'll be able to thank her for the wake up call. Once you start doing these things for you, regardless of the relationship outcome, you'll be doing well. All if this is a shit test, which you are failing.
/r/askMRP17/11/15 06:54 AM
2

Holy shit... thats me. Congratulations, you've had your breakthrough moment. You recognise that your situation is not special. That is a major step. Don't underestimate it. Next things for you are : lift weights to build a masculine body, read appropriate material to build a masculine mindset (start with the sidebar) and STFU (stop trying to talk to her about how you feel). Only you can fix how you feel right now. Give it a couple of months. Meanwhile, get your ass back into the house. All of he…
/r/askMRP17/11/15 06:49 AM
1

There is a "red pill course" for kids somewhere in /u/IanIronwood s blog. Redpillroom.blogspot.com
/r/askMRP17/11/15 06:27 AM
4

So many guys come here with this mindset. You've been a low value male for so long that your wife has let her standards slip to those you have set. Now you think you have swallowed the red pill (you havn't) and you've been awakened to your true position, and you are angry with your wife for "doing that to you". You did it to yourself, and to her. You can't really blame her for your situation, she just followed your lead. Start owning your shit and become a high value male. Give her some time (sa…
/r/askMRP17/11/15 06:25 AM
6

All of this is your ego hamstering away trying to protect you from the truth. /u/irateMD called you out, and instead of owning it, you "had to take exception". You want "realistic feedback on the effectiveness of red pill game", then swallow the fucking pill. Stop distancing yourself from the harsh reality that you are disposable. Stop lying to yourself. If you divorce her now, you'll end up in the same place with someone else. You are not an "attractive" man. Masculine attractiveness is based o…
/r/askMRP16/11/15 08:39 PM
4

If you ask him, or nag him to do something, then he'll only be doing it to get you off his back. Or, maybe he won't bother doing it at all as a kind of retaliation for the nagging. You sound like you have your head screwed on when it comes to lots of things that he cannot seem to get his head around. My guess is that you might have "your way" of doing things in general, and he might resent a lot of that. At the same time, maybe he has a whole pile of things that he'd prefer you to spend your eff…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/15 05:06 PM
3

Try not to see the past and future of it. Women live with their emotions in the moment. Also, recognise that there was more going on than just the words of the conversation. Your wife would have been just as conscious of how she was dressed, what the venue was, who was watching, yadda yadda. What I mean is, even if you've been doing the "same" thing for ages, there was probably something about the context here that made her burst like that. Also, "are you TRYING to be charming" is a shit test. P…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/15 03:58 PM
5

Great job guy. Have a cookie. And some of that sweet validation you crave. Stroke that ego gently until you spew all over your desk
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/15 03:13 PM
2

Wow. The important thing to remember here is that that year of no sex was because of your lack of owning your shit. Remember that if you ever feel like slipping back there for a bit. It's funny how she still tries to use sex as a control lever, considering she hasn't even been putting out. On the bright side, you are well accustomed to rejection by this stage, so outcome independence is not too far out of reach
/r/askMRP16/11/15 03:02 PM
2

Nice analogy
/r/askMRP16/11/15 02:57 PM
2

Years ago, my wife told me that her "type" was manly men. At the time, I stupidly assumed that this preference was purely aesthetic, specifically about facial features. I had been pushing her to tell me what her type was (so that I could conform to it... Shudder) and the best she could come up with at the time was "manly men". Little did I know that she was actually telling me the literal truth. Now she knows I'm on a "journey" (again, this was a pre red pill revelation) and has many times shit …
/r/askMRP16/11/15 01:06 PM
2

Watch what they do, not what they say. What more do you need to hear? Validation for your sports bar visit? OK. You can go to sports bars. I permit you to do that. Validation to put your own happiness as a priority in your life? OK, I'll permit that too. I hereby grant you permission to do whatever you like. See, that means nothing to you. You don't give a shit if I say it's OK or not. Why would you? I'm not the one who could be sacking your dick every night if you pushed my buttons correctly. Y…
/r/askMRP16/11/15 10:56 AM
2

I've been learning to listen to my subconscious and my gut instinct Nice idea, in principal, but apparently, that might not even be possible to do in practice. See: "the moral animal : why we are the way we are" And "thinking fast and slow" by Daniel kahnemann
/r/askMRP16/11/15 04:57 AM
2

Learn to be in the moment, flowing with it, not stuck analyzing it Best thing you can do for yourself. As eckhart tolle would say, "accept the 'isness' of the present reality" instead of thinking about all the ways you want to change it. Be in the moment and make a positive, decisive action at every point of your life. There is only "now".
/r/askMRP16/11/15 04:54 AM
7

Ice cold. Great frame control. And balls of steel to stand up to a wild bitch with a cup full of boiling water in her hand! "yeah, I know I melted half his face off, but he groped me and made me cry"
/r/MarriedRedPill15/11/15 08:04 PM
1

Yeah. You've gotta roll with the punches. STFU is especially advisable when there is a high chance of some beta whinging spewing out rather than a strong assertive communication. The turning points come as you start to realise that the only thing holding you back from saying what you want to say is a concern for how the other person might interpret it. As your frame strengthens, you will have more confidence in the moment, and you can relax a bit with the STFU. As you say, a geek reference, if i…
/r/askMRP15/11/15 06:41 PM
3

Ok, so you are all tied up because she basicly called you out with the "compliance" comment? You handled that comment well. It's nothing to be worried about. She's playing with you. In fact, you could have done even better by agreeing and amplifying. When she asked if you were happy that she complied, you could have told her that you love it when your little sex kitten follows your commands. You recognised the playful spirit of the moment, so there is really nothing to be worried about here. If …
/r/askMRP15/11/15 05:38 PM
0

She says she would leave you, you think she might leave you. So what. Around these parts, we pay attention to what they do, not what they say. Those threats are just an attempt to manipulate you. It's OK. You don't have to believe them. Start lifting weights, read the side bar material, and stop engaging with her emotional outbursts (aka STFU). Raise your value as a man.
/r/askMRP15/11/15 03:07 PM
3

What do you want to do? I would recommend a paternity test as soon as the kid is born. There is always a chance that it's not yours, and as long as she has nothing to hide, she should be happy to get the test done. That would at least let her know that you knew for sure that it was yours. Good job avoiding marriage though, stay strong.
/r/askMRP15/11/15 01:53 PM
5

She probably doesn't want you to go because you would spoil all her fun. Are you a fun guy? Are you the soul of the party? Do people gravitate towards you? Are you the kind of guy whose wife would be afraid to let out of her sight in case some of her friends tried to make a move on you? If the answer is yes to these (we already know it's not though) then you know that you are where you want to be. If the answer is no, (and we know it is) then how about these questions? Are you the alpha male of …
/r/askMRP15/11/15 11:26 AM
4

Getting upset really wouldn't accomplish anything, and I'm certainly not about to disappear because someone, somewhere manipulated my words. It happens all the time, to people everywhere. If we could somehow bottle this up into an actual, one shot, injectable medicine, and then administer it to humanity... Wow. Perhaps we need to wait a few more years, say 30 or so, when the Internet becomes a completely integrated part of humanity. Pure consciousness, no ego. People say all the time that machin…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/15 08:06 AM
6

They want to do nothing more than deride and shut us down for our dangerous ideas. More than likely, the "journalist" just recognises that you can get far by talking about controversial stuff. Mob mentality sells
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/15 10:35 PM
7

Like we say on /r/marriedredpill, you don't talk about fight club. Rollo tomassi also talks about the futility of trying to unplug chumps. As soon as you try to explain what you are doing, or how and why you are doing it, you'll lose. Unless the person you are talking to its genuinely capable of being convinced by you, then a rational discussion is impossible. If anything, I'd focus on how I'm "embracing my masculinity", and "finding my true self", and "learning to connect with my place in the u…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/15 08:46 PM
0

Yeah, but, he was likely operating in your vacuum for a long time. It takes time for guys to internalise a new mindset.
/r/askMRP14/11/15 01:17 AM
1

Nice job
/r/askMRP14/11/15 01:07 AM
1

Cheers buddy, I'll check that out
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/15 11:20 PM
2

Part of the reason you are getting starfish sex is that you are not giving her the tingles. Imagine having no erection and your wife just wanted to smush your limp dick around her pussy to get herself off, possibly while reading some erotic novel or Facebook or something. If you don't feel like initiating, that's fine. It actually helps with outcome independence because you can experiment with new behaviours and not "risk" not getting sex. In the past, maybe you were very careful not to upset he…
/r/askMRP13/11/15 08:58 PM
7

So, guys, why is he doing this and how should I respond? If he's anything like every other dude on here, he reached a point where he realised that the reason he was so unhappy with the marriage, or the amount of sex in the marriage, was that he was not wearing the trousers in the relationship and that he was not prioritising his own happiness. He likely had you on a pedestal for years, and the result was that you ended up seeing him as a combination of dependant and provider. AKA a beta bux. He …
/r/askMRP13/11/15 08:44 PM
3

It's amazing really. When they both realised that they got me the "same" "gift", they had such a laugh. It was way before I found TRP but I already knew that there was something seriously wrong with masculinity today. Ironically, it was probably a guy who made it. And good for him. He's making good money selling that shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/15 05:02 PM
2

Haven't read the other comments yet, but wanted to say that the "bowl of oatmeal" comment was a gigantic shit test. You said yourself, she called you out on your biggest insecurity. Your frame crumbled. You should be thankful for the opportunity to deal with something that has been clearly a big issue. If you've got scars like that, people will notice them, and you are only setting yourself up for heartache if you think that people "shouldn't go there" or that somehow commenting on your fucked u…
/r/askMRP13/11/15 04:37 PM
3

I recently listened to "the moral animal - why we are the way we are" which is an evolutionary psychology book. I highly recommend it. Edit: oh, and "the power of now" and "transcending the ego", probably anything by eckhart tolle. The quality of the recordings tends to be a bit off, but those books are pushing buttons in me that I never knew I had.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/15 11:36 AM
2

She is recognising that she behaved in a shitty way to you, and she is trying to make that right for herself. Since you are well on your way to unplugging, you might not think that an apology was even necessary, but I think it's fair to say that it's a good thing that your wife is starting to pay more attention to the ways in which her behaviours might not be appropriate. She can see the direction you are trying to establish and lead, and she is recognising the times where she's been fighting ag…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/15 10:48 AM
3

You just have to let them ride out their emotional roller coaster. Her feelz are hers alone. You are not responsible for the way she feels. The best thing you can do is focus on being a light house so that when her storm starts to clear, she can see a safe route to shore. You don't want to mount a rescue mission to go drag her in from the sea. Once you stop feeling like "she is acting like this because of something I did", and start thinking AWALT, then you'll realise that it's just part of her …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/15 05:28 AM
4

"if at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you" I got a card with that written on it, AND, I got a metal sign with the same phrase, on the same occasion, from my wife and my sister.... Fucking hilarious
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/15 04:55 AM
2

The "right thing" tended to be whatever I thought she wanted me to do. This backfires because in the majority of cases, I was failing shit tests. On top of that, I started to see my wife as a nagging bitch who was never satisfied with anything I did. That's a double whammy: failing the shit tests makes me less attractive to her, and also I was considering divorce because she was not "appreciating" me. Now that I am recognising and passing the shit tests, I'm killing both birds with one stone
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/15 04:45 PM
1

Would you marry a woman who deflected and joked around and agreed-and-amplified to avoid letting you know her N count? Men and women are different. In addition, I have first hand experience of "doing the right thing" which, as it turned out, was totally the wrong thing. I'm not a "nice guy" anymore, and my wife would be the first to tell you that I'm far more pleasant to be around, and that she can see I am building a great life for us.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/15 02:42 PM
1

And what exactly is wrong with that? Nothing. That kind of deflection and wishy-washiness would definitely set off red flags for me. Perhaps it would. OP wants to know whether asking, out of pure curiosity, is unattractive. I say no, it's not, but, the answers you get might themselves be unattractive, whether OP wanted to pry or not.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/15 02:27 PM
2

Would you break up with him over it?
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/15 02:04 PM
3

I don't think it's unattractive per se. I think it's also reasonable for you to ask about it. But my advice to him would be to not tell you, or to massively over exaggerate his answers, or some other such thing. You say you don't want to pry or seem jealous, however I believe if he gave you an obviously truthful answer, you might get a bit more inquisitive, and he might share some more truth, and who knows where that leads, for either of you. I guess trying to dig up his past like this could be …
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/15 01:26 PM
2

Yeah, but also this, right? The only problem you should be having with plates is logistics and scheduling, not acquisition.
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 09:03 PM
1

Missing the trash takeout was a mistake. She overreacted. AWALT. Where you fucked up though was here: I say "You already took it out and you're mad at me?" She goes "Yeah I know you'll forget." This is where you failed a shit test. She threw a totally unreasonable accusation at you, and you let her control the frame by DEERing instead of STFU/AM/A&A. Now that she's giving you the silent treatment, she's still controlling the frame. Get out of her frame. The hard part is not being butt hurt. You …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/15 06:16 PM
4

I never thought I had an "ego" problem, which I now realise in and of itself is actually an ego problem. One of the first pieces of advice I got when I found TRP was "ego is gonna be a big problem for you". Apart from everything else I've learned, destroying my ego has been the single most rewarding thing I've gotten from TRP. Once you learn to accept your true self, and then focus on bringing that truth into the world, other shit in your life just dissolves away. Check out "The power of now", b…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/15 04:56 PM
-1

What about "you are the prize"? If you have a" drought ", the real problem is that you are not owning your shit. Plating and sex in general should be secondary to your primary goal of being awesome. The only problem you should be having with plates is logistics and scheduling, not acquisition.
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 04:51 PM
0

Yeah, it sounds like a pathetic life. Not the lifestyle of a man of high value
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 04:04 PM
2

Your math is off: 2% of 360 is not 72.
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 04:02 PM
16

If you ask him to comment on your weaknesses, you should know that what you'll get is a list of what he perceived to be your weaknesses. Note that this doesn't mean they are a list of your weaknesses. All such a list would be is a list of his opinions about you. focus on being the best version of myself The best version of yourself is the truest version, and ONLY YOU can decide what that truth is. Don't defer such an important decision onto someone else, let alone someone who is no longer an imp…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/15 01:42 PM
12

NEVER BREAK FRAME. This, a hundred times. In the beginning, you might be faking it til you make it, but by doing that, you are learning how to see the world through your new eyes. Your brain will adapt, and you'll not have to worry so much about "breaking frame" because you'll be TRP on autopilot.
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 12:03 PM
3

What the fuck is a short term long term relationship?
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 12:01 PM
3

Married women will probably be the easiest, since they already have a beta bux on lock down, and they are close to the wall or maybe already post wall. A small bit on the side would be nothing to them.
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 06:02 AM
6

If you are truly adding value, and you are confident how much the business depends on you, then push for not only the bonus but also a raise. This year, I negotiated a "bonus" and then renegotiated later to retroactively have the bonus incorporated into my salary, which guaranteed it rather than leaving it to the whims of some arbitrary performance measurement. Now I'm the highest paid at the office, but I'm not ashamed of that,and I told them to their faces that I was happy to be the highest pa…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/15 05:37 AM
1

Yeah, and the beard will surprisingly hide your self improvement, so that you have time to accept and internalise your new self.
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 05:29 AM
3

November is a great way to ease into it. Just don't shave it off at the end. Grow it through all the shit people throw at you. I got called a hipster a lot, and people told me "beards are out" etc. Just ignore it. Embrace how self conscious you are because "people are staring at my beard". Let it grow totally wild. Keep lifting and dieting. The beard will make people think you are "letting yourself go". Just push on through. Shave it off months later and you won't even recognise yourself. "wow, …
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 05:17 AM
5

Grow it for a few months. Push past all the shaming tactics, keep it tidy, or let it go wild (wild is what I did). Grow it until YOU get fed up with it. Meanwhile, all your lifting etc is still going on. When you shave it off, revel in the "Omg, you look 10 years younger" comments you get. Upgrade your wardrobe then. The combination has worked well for me.
/r/TheRedPill11/11/15 05:12 AM
2

Don't think about a white elephant. I told you not to think about it, and yet you did. It's nice to think that your brain is like a computer, and that you have control over your thoughts, but, there are many many studies which prove that this is not the case. So the trick is not to try "not to think about it", the trick is to accept that the thoughts are in there, and just let them be. Don't roll them around in your head like a hamster spinning in his wheel. Don't try to force them out with some…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/15 05:07 AM
1

Yeah, true. But on the other hand, the less he says, the more he can leverage her hamstering to understand his intentions.
/r/askMRP10/11/15 09:05 PM
2

Haha, hang on in there buddy :) You mention you are having a hard time holding frame when she is around. What's the problem? What, specifically, is your frame here? I wonder whether it's a case of you not having decided what your position is here rather than you having a problem holding frame. If she's coming on to you, embrace the knowledge that you are giving her tingles. Accept it. If she is giving you the cold shoulder, embrace the knowledge that her hamster is trying to win you back. Accept…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/15 07:53 PM
3

He's literally just recently started to notice significant positive changes in his situation. The shit fest that is his marriage, until just recently, has been very much caused by the shitty manipulative nice guy behaviour that he's been using for years. He's started to own his shit, and has already noticed some positive outcomes. His post was looking for advice on what to say to her. I'm not gonna tell him what to say, it's his wife, his life. When it's time for "that talk", he's not gonna come…
/r/askMRP10/11/15 07:42 PM
3

Talking, at this point, is more risky than its worth. You've got her this far by learning to be awesome, just keep going as you are already. She's hamstering like crazy, and maybe you feel that there is a nuclear shit test coming. You are letting that fear affect your frame. You are planning how you want to respond to her, and planning how to make the "talk" count. Fuck that shit. Acta non verba. You need to hold frame now more than ever. STFU. Never engage with the hamster. She's flip flopping …
/r/askMRP10/11/15 06:57 PM
15

Kinda like sex God method on light mode. Tick all the boxes of DEVI, but in as soft a way as possible. The thing is, this advice is more so that a "nice guy" can bring himself to change it up. I'm not saying it wont work, but I am saying that grabbing a first full of her hair, or slapping her ass, or putting my hand on her throat were all things I would have expected resistance on and yet were not resisted at all. She still kinda starfished for a bit, but it was obvious that she was more into it…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/15 05:26 PM
2

I care why I am being a clingy bitch because if I understand it I can better take action :) Fail! It's not at all necessary to ruminate or rationalise the "why" of your behaviour. It's guaranteed to waste your time, and almost certainly will result in an explanation where someone or something else is the cause, somehow. All you need to do is just accept that your default behaviour right now is being a clingy bitch. Just accept it, don't try to fight it, don't try to think about why. It just IS.
/r/askMRP10/11/15 02:46 PM
2

"thinking", in this case, is bad for you. People will say "disrespectful" shit all the time, but it's up to you whether you register those things as actually disrespect, or just the innane babbling of a child. When we say "watch what she does, not what she says", and "STFU", it's because modern humans use words as weapons. Other animals use physical violence but we've evolved the ability to combat using words alone. Remember the old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will ne…
/r/askMRP10/11/15 01:09 PM
6

Your biggest problem is that you are entering her frame all the time. You are letting her words have an impact on your perspective of reality. She can say whatever the fuck she wants. Don't try to fight that. As long as you are fighting it, she'll continue. Stop trying to engage her in a rational or logical discussion on these matters. Just accept that she said some shit, and focus on letting whatever nonsense she just spouted just roll off you. Instead of trying to figure out how to defend agai…
/r/askMRP10/11/15 12:11 PM
1

This sums it up really. If you are noticing that you are slipping into her frame, it's likely because your ego is rushing in in reaction to what she is saying. Once you deal with your ego, then swatting the tests away is so much easier.
/r/askMRP10/11/15 12:06 PM
1

I would only go back to avoid the marriage bit. We did it for all the right reasons, really, but in the end, there is now this legal contract which is part of our relationship. I've toyed with the idea of "proposing divorce" to my wife, as a show of even deeper commitment, from both sides. Well, "toyed" in the same way that a hamster in a cage toys with his wheel :) you know, divorce amicably, but stay together and honour my original promises, just without the "safety net" of divorce rape for he…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/15 06:10 AM
1

They are called unicorns for a reason. They are mythical creatures that don't exist, but people still fantasise about them. Why are you perpetuating the myth? There are no unicorns
/r/TheRedPill10/11/15 12:31 AM
1

Just hold frame and STFU. She may have raised some things that you'd like to talk about, but actually talking about them would be a bit silly, cos she wants to beat you over the head with them, and not actually listen to your perspective. She's already made up her mind what she thinks, so all you gotta do is STFU and carry on like she didn't say anything of value. If she wants to bring it up verbally again at some point, keep your fogging on point, and agree and amplify where necessary. Ideally,…
/r/askMRP10/11/15 12:29 AM
62

Haha, yeah,but, I guess you'd better be prepared to follow through and make him suck you off after you beat the shit out of him, to stay in control of the frame etc.
/r/TheRedPill10/11/15 12:14 AM
5

For fucks sake. Not this shit again. There are no unicorns. Noah forgot to take them on the ark. Any new guys reading this post beware : it is blue pill thinking in red clothing. Fucking low quality shit, and not representative at all of TRP. Shame on you sir!
/r/TheRedPill10/11/15 12:11 AM
60

Nice field report! Love the "stop touching me, I'm gonna get a boner" line. Pure mastery.
/r/TheRedPill09/11/15 08:43 PM
2

I am married, with kids, and I am happy. However, if I had a time machine, I would have done things differently. Whether you believe AWALT or not doesn't mean NAWALT. Why don't you lurk around dead bedrooms for a while and see if you notice a pattern. It usually goes something like this : "we had sex like bunny rabbits before we got married, then the frequency and quality dropped off a cliff. Now, we have a great relationship, but the Sex is either non existent or passionless"
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/15 07:55 PM
1

In the end, it's your shit to own, and it's up to you how you want to own it, but yeah, "stay productive" is probably a good shorthand.
/r/askMRP09/11/15 04:27 PM
3

The easy way to not lose your mind over this stuff is to live like you would if you were single. Keep your house in order, regardless of gender roles. Something needs doing? Just do it. However, there is a natural limit to how far you'll go here. The more you do, the less she will need to do, and also, you'll eventually be seen as some sort of domestic appliance, like the washing machine with a spin cycle if you are lucky. But, since you've been owning your assertiveness, and eliminated all your…
/r/askMRP09/11/15 03:34 PM
1

You are really over complicating "attraction" here, and yet somehow over simplifying it at the same time, if that's even possible :) Women are attracted to masculine traits and high status males. A high status male is unlikely to have reached that status by accident, although there are exceptions. Best one I can think of is massive inherited family wealth, royal titles etc. A self made man did not achieve high status by accident. So while a simple explanation is that women are attracted to your …
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/15 11:41 AM
3

What do you want to hear? You want someone to purge you of the Red Pill and tell you that it's OK, just be yourself, that there is someone special out there who will love you for "your faults"? You want someone who picks you up when you fall over and puts a band-aid on your skint knee and tells you that everything will be ok? You want someone who faces the cruelty and harshness of the world on your behalf, and protects you from it and keeps you warm at night? You want someone to make the world a…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/15 08:27 AM
1

Men use the currency of commitment and women use the currency of sex. Men get to decide where to spend their commitment, and women control where the Sex goes. One you get married, you've kinda spent all your commitment, and therefore cannot afford to pay the price that she demands for sex. The thing is, most men don't realise that they can pull back on their level of commitment just enough to create a market place again. Sex dries up in a marriage because men are conditioned to believe that a "h…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/15 07:00 AM
5

Get a lawyer for legal advice asap. Meanwhile, you are not gonna leave the house, and the little she knows about how much you know the better. Keep your powder dry. Google "relationship 180" which might give you some perspective on how to handle being around the house with a dishonest cheating fucker.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/15 03:28 PM
3

I wasn't talking about game, I was talking about your masculine mindset
/r/TheRedPill06/11/15 07:37 PM
3

If you are not giving her tingles, she's gonna look elsewhere for them. What exactly do you want as an outcome here? The real truth is the romantic part of our marriage is dead, it is my fault, and I'm not sure I am able or willing to recover it. This still sounds like hamster speak. If it's a shit test, she WANTS you to stop her. Maybe not consciously, but that's what she wants. An alpha male stands up for his mating privileges. Sounds like you are going through the motions, but you are not int…
/r/askMRP06/11/15 03:26 PM
3

Yep. He's been slipping up somewhere for sure.
/r/askMRP06/11/15 02:54 PM
4

Going a bit deeper into the "you" part of your post, I see some red flags... Red flag 1: I suspect you created a throwaway for this because you know that you are not swallowing the pill, and you are ashamed that you are not owning your shit. You are just lying to yourself. Red flag 2: you say you are back in a dead bedroom. This is victim speak. If it's "back in a dead bedroom" after 6 months on "the pill", you know that it's your fault you are there. You know you've been slacking off, and now y…
/r/askMRP06/11/15 02:50 PM
7

I don't have first hand experience of this situation, though I'll tell you what I make of it anyway. Watch what she does, not what she says. So, she told you she's gonna have drinks with him. In a way, I think if she was "planning" something, she wouldn't have told you. However, these things "just happen", and AWALT, and tingles, and alcohol. So, what's a dude to do? Short term, you can throw a hissy fit, and maybe she doesn't meet him this time, but then there'll be a next time, and so on. So I…
/r/askMRP06/11/15 02:38 PM
2

A guy flipping burgers at mc Donalds can be a breadwinner and so can an investment Banker. Sure, the amount of bread varies, but both of them might be considered "ambitious" depending on context. Maybe mc Donalds guy does not consider work to be the most effective measure of his progress in life. I'd say it matters more that you find someone who has a plan to lead their life towards a goal that you can be on board with, rather than just blindly looking for someone with "ambition"
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/15 10:45 AM
16

His biggest mistake was when he got up to sit beside her after you left the seat empty. Your biggest mistake is comparing yourself to him to give your ego a little stroke.
/r/TheRedPill06/11/15 09:03 AM
1

This is not the correct sub for your question. Or advice is tailored towards people already married or in an LTR. That being said, if you are just "starting out", I would see her maybe once a week, in a rotation with other plates. You also say that you are "Christian". Well, it's only a screwball if you allow it to make life choices for you that you wouldn't have naturally made. It's your life, so its up to you what you wanna do with it.
/r/askMRP06/11/15 05:39 AM
3

later when my SMV and her levels of dread are higher, I'll be able to naturally withdraw attention when she's gives an apathetic effort, because I will actually have better things to do. FTFY
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/15 05:01 AM
4

Watch what they do, not what they say. They SAY they hate the red pill.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/15 04:57 AM
5

Your wife is a reflection of yourself. If you've been a loser blue pill beta whiny bitch boy, then she will adapt to that and now you have what you have. If you are only recently starting to improve, then there for sure will be a lag time before those improvements reflect in her behaviour. Of course, they may never reflect in her, so you wanna have a time frame in mind. Say, one or two months for each year of Marriage. Meanwhile, you can (and should) start exploring your options for what comes n…
/r/askMRP05/11/15 08:21 PM
20

Self improvement to the grave
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/15 08:14 PM
5

A long term monogamous commitment is NOT the same as "marriage". You can do the first one if you like, and I'm sure it won't violate any rules to discuss strategies for such, but MARRIAGE is stupid. There is nothing in it for men. It's dangerous to advise any guy to go down that path.
/r/TheRedPill05/11/15 07:00 PM
3

knowing that all I do isn't worth a single night of enthusiastic sex once a month just encourages me to withdraw from her. Nothing you do should be about getting any enthusiastic sex from her. Everything you do should be because it's what you want to do. Any advice in addressing/breaking this type of transactional attitude? Yes, and by the way, it's your own transactional attitude you need to break. NMMNG will show you how to identify your covert contracts, help you see what's wrong about them i…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/15 03:49 PM
1

Perhaps there are, but they are not giving vag tingles to any one
/r/TheRedPill05/11/15 10:50 AM
19

When a woman mocks male sorrow, it's a shit test. Women want a man who can protect them. A sorrowful man is a broken man, and therefore an unattractive man, who cannot even protect himself, let alone anyone else. TLDR: men are disposable, accept that and move on with your plan
/r/TheRedPill05/11/15 08:56 AM
-5

Nice victim puke. Have you ever heard of something called "the red pill"? Try swallowing it, it's the cure for what ails you.
/r/TheRedPill05/11/15 08:53 AM
4

Except, you know, the wall, and her kids in tow. She knows that she's past her peak, that she's made some life choices in the past that she might not be happy about. She's just decided to let go of feeling regret over her choice and focus on enjoying what she's got the best she can.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/15 06:32 AM
20

This. I experienced something along these lines at the weekend. Mother in law stayed with us, and there was a death in the family while she was here. I applied the rule of STFU while mother in law and my wife were expressing how sad the death was. What struck me most was how quickly they were flipping in and out of sadness mode. If I had tried to engage with them, instead of shutting the fuck up, I would have only prolonged their time in sadness mode. They were perfectly capable of navigating th…
/r/TheRedPill04/11/15 04:43 PM
5

Cutting out oneitis is not about protecting yourself from fear of loss. It is about recognising that the social norm, the Disney fairy tale, is that there is "somebody special out there for everyone". There isn't. It's about cutting out the fallacy of wondering whether you "picked the right one". There is no "right one". Unicorns don't exist. You are married. So am I. When I got married, I truly believed I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my wife. I still intend to honour that commitment…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/11/15 03:06 PM
124

She was gaslighting you. And you engaged. If you wanna roll around with the hamster using logic, you are gonna have a bad time. Same reason you wouldn't get into the ring with Mike Tyson. She "felt" disrespected by what you said. Your own hamster, in turn, interpreted that to mean that she was accusing you of disrespecting her. In other words, you lost control of the frame.
/r/TheRedPill04/11/15 12:19 PM
14

Maybe she didn't like the font or formatting of the spreadsheet? After you next her, and you move in your next oneitis, make sure you find out how she likes her spreadsheets to be formatted before you inevitably send her a similar one, or, for that matter, one documenting the frequency of blow jobs.
/r/TheRedPill04/11/15 09:49 AM
1

Yeah! But you still drool onto them to wet them, no? Maybe I'm doing it wrong
/r/askMRP03/11/15 04:06 PM
2

If you looked at the final scoreboard, men might end up gaining a few points later on but women will end the game with a firm lead. The only scoreboard that really matters in evolutionary terms is the number of offspring an individual produces. Men can blow multiple loads into multiple women, every day of their fertile lives, while a women only has so many eggs, and a pregnancy takes 9 months, not to mention caring for the child(ren).
/r/TheRedPill03/11/15 02:50 PM
18

You have already missed the train, while the girls will have their college memories. Try paying bills with your college memories. Or maybe you can share the memories with your cats
/r/TheRedPill03/11/15 02:46 PM
2

Since women become infertile at, say age 45, and men can reproduce pretty much from puberty until they die, evolution had something to work with when it comes to masculinity in "older" age, while for women, the only selective pressure that mattered is for selecting traits that they have when they are fertile. There is no way for evolution to select in favour of traits that only exhibit after sexual fertility is gone. The wall is real.
/r/TheRedPill03/11/15 02:44 PM
1

Haha, a natural ;)
/r/askMRP03/11/15 01:59 PM
3

This is a good one too, but I think it's one of those where the delivery matters a lot more than others. "threats" like these need to be given in such a nonchalant, playful manner, with the right emphasis and body language. Almost like a throw away remark, followed up with a slap on the ass or something to emphasise the playfulness. Kinda like saying, "look, I don't give a fuck what you think about what I'm doing, but if you are gonna worry about anything, then you'd be better off worrying about…
/r/askMRP03/11/15 12:35 PM
4

AKA blue pill communication
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/15 11:20 AM
1

Yeah. I figured that, so I thought I'd throw you a bone :) you are owning your unplugging, but the process and the realities you face along the way are surprisingly common. You are not a special snowflake after all. And of course, AWALT.
/r/askMRP03/11/15 11:19 AM
3

Communication is key, it's just that blue pill dudes communicate the way the Disney channel told them to, instead of clicking down a channel to the discovery channel. Like the bloodhound gang said : "do it like they do on the discovery channel"
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/15 10:42 AM
6

Celebrate! You are well on the road to where you want to be. As /u/sorcererking says, this is pretty much the first milestone. If you reflect on how you are feeling right now, you'll probably find that you feel worried or concerned that you are losing her approval. Yes, yes, you are frustrated about the sexual rejection too, and the old you would have resolved that conflict by supplication and submission. The new you is confident that the positive changes you are making in your life are, at the …
/r/askMRP03/11/15 09:33 AM
1

By masturbating into them, or drooling on them? LOL. Nice hobby. "I just do it for fun, you know?"
/r/askMRP03/11/15 07:03 AM
3

OP, you are a pussy whipped beta bux. Your entire current situation (and likely your marriage) has been an exercise in pavlovian conditioning. Your wife is an expert manipulator of other people. You know her better than anyone, and she knows you better than anyone. She knows all the buttons to press, and you know all the ways to make it up to her. Have you read WISNIFG? Read it again either way. There is zero assertive communication going on in your relationship. You've been together for ages, b…
/r/askMRP03/11/15 06:54 AM
2

If you do want her to come, tell her so. Tell her that you expect your wife by your side at important family occasions, and that you will be very disappointed if she doesn't come with you. You are gonna go anyway, but you genuinely want her to come along too so that you can have fun together. To me, it reads as part shit test, part comfort test. This is one of those occasions where you need to be the oak. You don't want to beg her to come, cos that would fail the shit test component. And you don…
/r/askMRP03/11/15 01:29 AM
1

Yeah, and also, you know, sometimes they are tired :) I guess it's a sign of how beta we let ourselves become, when we start to interpret "I'm tired" as a preemptive hard no :)
/r/askMRP02/11/15 04:33 PM
2

Yeah, but I wasn't referring to his romantic situation. If he said he was a software developer, I swear I'd think he was planted by the directors of the FearDearg2015 show
/r/askMRP02/11/15 03:15 PM
2

LOL. So many parallels in our lives :) you could be my identical life twin.
/r/askMRP02/11/15 02:37 PM
3

Same motivation I had to start nofap. To be honest, I don't give a shit about masturbating, one way or the other. I'm at the stage now where if I wanted to do it, I would. I've absolutely broken the "habitual" component of it, by now (100+ days without whacking off) and the thought rarely crosses my mind. I don't miss it, but I dont consider it a "demon" that needs to be suppressed either.
/r/askMRP02/11/15 02:36 PM
2

I'm at the point where "I'm tired" during the day is like a question, rather than a statement. If I am too tired for sex that night, I'll say "me too". If I'm not tired, I'll tell her that I'm not tired. Meanwhile, I'll pay attention to whether she really is tired, or if she seems to be acting like she is not tired at all (eg. Reading FB, watching TV etc). If she's not literally falling asleep, I'll say : "hey, you are tired, lets go to bed early" and give her a little wink or a slap on the ass.…
/r/askMRP02/11/15 02:25 PM
1

Always a possibility.
/r/askMRP02/11/15 11:21 AM
5

Don't set a boundary that you are not prepared to defend. If you say to anybody : "if you do X, then the consequences will be Y", and then they do X, and there are no consequences, the validity of every other boundary you've set with that person is reduced. People test one another's boundaries. It's basicly how infants learn about the world, so its pretty much hardwired into us,in my opinion. If she's responding "off you go then", then it's likely because you've been making threats or trying to …
/r/askMRP02/11/15 08:41 AM
6

More "analysis" She looked at me with a "what are you up to" expression. She didn't even need to speak, and you still failed the shit test. lifelong porn/fapping addiction Stop victimising yourself. involuntary monk mode Stop calling it "involuntary". Own it. Make it voluntary. Its a major chore to get any ass Because you are doing it wrong. I was determined to fuck her so I laid next to her and just started rubbing her pussy. Way to show her your determination. You can do better than this. I to…
/r/askMRP02/11/15 05:47 AM
10

Alpha fucks, Beta bux. You are not the "alpha fucks" here. She knows full well that you could not get a side piece, which is why she's so happy to recommend it to you as a course of action. Yes, offering it to you is a shit test. An invitation for you to break frame and step into her world view. Apart from the fact that you should be shutting the fuck up (I'll say more later on that), you haven't yet started responding to shit tests properly. At the start. You might have to "fake it til you make…
/r/askMRP02/11/15 05:32 AM
2

To be honest, that's what I thought too, but I didn't want to assume it. The question was leading to some pointers on where to look. Eg. A twenty-something red pill dude is not looking to commit, just looking for plates. A mid to late thirties red pill dude is probably what she's after. Probably have better luck finding them in the day time doing normal stuff, rather than in a nightclub, for example.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/15 12:49 PM
2

You don't make clear in your post where you are at with unplugging? Your tone suggests a victim puke, which suggests that your RP journey hasn't really started yet? This is how honest men get fucked. Nope. This is how weak motherfuckers get fucked. This is the reality you live in. The deck is stacked against you, as an individual. Society does not give a fuck about you as an individual. You are angry. That's OK. But you need to stop being a victim here and start owning your shit. Give yourself a…
/r/askMRP31/10/15 08:53 AM
4

What do I do right now? Spend some time thinking about what you want to do. There are things which you can control, and there are things you cannot. Identify the things that you have complete control over,and accept the things which you don't.
/r/askMRP30/10/15 11:27 PM
3

All three prerequisites are kinda bundled together. In combination with lurking, and lifting, that seems to be the best path. There is always the danger that new guys are so focused on fixing the Sex that they try to fast forward the process, and never nail OI and frame.
/r/askMRP30/10/15 09:12 PM
3

I literally use techniques I learned in that book everyday now. Not only in cases where I need to be more assertive, but also in cases where a colleague is not being assertive and it makes sense for me to get involved so that they just "spit it out" and stop wasting the time of others. People who want to get something from someone else often build up to asking for it with lots of preparatory manipulation.
/r/askMRP30/10/15 05:56 PM
2

Just read this comment in your DB thread. https://np.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/3qpsga/im_in_bad_shape/cwhvfdy I do every fucking thing in this house to take care of the family. You name it and I do it. I grind away at my 9-5 for them and grind away here as well. No, she has very little free time and sure we both make sacrifices but that doesn't give her the right to essentially forget I exist and not reciprocate the love I show for her. I'm busting my ass just as much, I'm just as tired…
/r/askMRP30/10/15 02:28 PM
2

My "profile" is very similar to yours. I have 2 kids under 3. As a father, you are the most important male role model in your kids early life, so I guess you have to consider that when deciding what kind of Man you are becoming. There are no separate guidelines for fathers though.
/r/askMRP30/10/15 01:43 PM
1

I realize this is going to very difficult to reverse. Not necessarily. Well, yes and no. As you progress through the required reading material, you'll start to develop a more masculine frame of mind. It does take time to internalise and put into practice things like being more assertive, and not making covert contracts, and obviously body recomposition does not happen over night, but that doesn't mean it's "difficult".
/r/askMRP30/10/15 01:39 PM
2

Seems like you are on track.
/r/askMRP30/10/15 10:29 AM
4

I feel like a castaway that just washed ashore Welcome. I'm 35, married, in a dead bedroom, stagnant career, have been beta ALL my life and digging out of a big fucking hole. I know I have a shit ton of reading/studying ahead and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to turn my life around. Cool, so you can "talk the talk" but can you "walk the walk"? My only question at this time is this. Are there any Morpheus' in the forum that would be willing to work with me? I'm critically low on male friend…
/r/askMRP30/10/15 06:04 AM
7

Hey, welcome! Glad to see you posting on here for a change :) I've been following your posts on dead bedrooms and nofap, and had been wondering whether you were just trolling them or if you were genuinely lost at sea. Now I know it is the latter. As the others have said, this is a journey that only you can walk. Nobody will hold your hand, or give you a blow by blow plan to fix your shit, but everyone will recognise parts of their former selves in your situation, and the advice that you will get…
/r/askMRP30/10/15 05:20 AM
4

The way of the superior male - David deida The power of now - eckhart tolle The manipulated Male - Esther vilar A billion wicked thoughts Mating in captivity - perel The misandry bubble - TRP sidebar The Passionate Marriage - David schnarch The Charisma Myth Those are all writings that I believe have had a major impact on my unplugging so far
/r/askMRP30/10/15 04:57 AM
1

Hey, being new is fine, we've all been there. And I know what you mean about lingo etc, but I guess it's just one of those things you'll pick up by lurking more. The important thing to know as a new guy is that there is no rush. Take your time, read as much as you can possibly cram in between lifting weights and shutting up, instead of victim puking on your wife (we've all been there). If you go down this road, know that it has no end. It's not something you'll dabble in and then stop doing at s…
/r/askMRP29/10/15 08:09 PM
2

based off what he read from retards like you on the internet. Awww, now you gone and hurt my feeewings :'(
/r/askMRP29/10/15 05:03 PM
2

LOL
/r/askMRP29/10/15 04:18 PM
1

Oh yeah, I reread your previous comment.
/r/askMRP29/10/15 12:58 PM
2

If you are trying to make people think you are the real deal, when in fact you are not at all the real deal, things are gonna go bad for you. You validate yourself, you don't measure your value by what others think of you. I think this might be missing for you. Your comments seem to be recommending an approach of validation seeking, or at least you are trying to say that it's important to be validated by others around you. This is true, to an extent, but I think you are taking that to a level wh…
/r/askMRP29/10/15 09:38 AM
3

I just think he's read some RP shit and is looking for places to say no rather than saying no when he really wants to say no. He doesn't need any justification for saying no. WISNIFG basic principles of assertiveness
/r/askMRP29/10/15 09:30 AM
3

unless he sees himself as acting or getting treated like a beta by his gf. Asking for a ride home, per se, is not a power play. Everything about how she chose to ask him, and continue to attempt to coerce him to do it, was a power play in this scenario. This was absolutely a shit test. And shit tests are foreplay. He passed a shit test in front of her sister. In fact, he passed shit tests from both her AND her sister. The sister probably got some tingles of her own during the texting. And both o…
/r/askMRP29/10/15 09:27 AM
3

I think it's fine for OP to assume power plays wherever he wants to. It's his life after all. On here, we've swallowed the red pill. Humans are social creatures, and have an evolutionary predisposition to establishing and maintaining social order among one another. You can make a value judgement about whether it's "morally acceptable" if you like, but it doesn't change the truth. That's the red pill. Whether you like the idea or not, this situation was definitely a power play. Most human interac…
/r/askMRP29/10/15 09:18 AM
7

Awesome reply. This really should be a post on its own. I think it's how the PUA guys lost their way. They got too focused in the techniques rather than the reason behind them. They focused on the means rather than the ends. For better or worse, we got married because we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with our "oneitis". The red pill is hard to swallow because it is like you said: an immediate change in the rules,maybe even an immediate change of game. But just because your life became ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/15 06:52 AM
1

On a deeper level, here's a question. Are you owning this shit? The finances? Is there any shred of possibility that she is picking up a "drunk captain" vibe from you? I'm not saying there is, but if you think there might be, then watch out. She WANTS you to give the amused, assertive answers that we are suggesting in here, but if you are giving those answers to cover up some seriously fucked up financial situation, you are possibly digging the hole deeper. If you are owning it, and you've got s…
/r/askMRP29/10/15 06:20 AM
0

Yep. Although, these were text messages so I would assume that immediate initiation would be logistically difficult. Maybe a text to her like this : "wow, all these questions are making me horny, I expect you in lingerie when I get home"
/r/askMRP29/10/15 06:12 AM
1

Yes. This. I guess that it really depends on your intentions,and the context of the conversation. For example, if I was undressing for bed with the intention to inutiate, and she hit me with some questions like these, I am gonna A & A, or AM the he'll out if it. But if it's while I'm changing a shitty baby, or using a dangerous garden tool, or trying to read a book or something, the context would probably call for a different response. And, if it's by text, then just ignore the fuck out of it. I…
/r/askMRP29/10/15 06:09 AM
1

If asked in person, say "Is there a reason you've developed a sudden interest in the details of our finances?" To me, this almost certainly is a loss of frame control. If I asked you those questions, and you responded like that, I would smell blood in the water and say something like: "yes, there is. I'm concerned about your ability to make sensible financial decisions for this family". And sure, you could come up with some response to that, I know. But, you lost ground in the first response, an…
/r/askMRP29/10/15 06:03 AM
2

Good. WISNIFG will totally change the way you perceive questions like these, and will also give you some practical skills to deal with them from wherever they come. As others have said, these are shit tests, she's not asking these questions from a curiosity perspective, nor an information gathering perspective, she's asking them as an indirect way to question your ability to make decisions. What did you buy at discount tire? Discounted tires. Why was the u haul so expensive? I don't know, you'll…
/r/askMRP29/10/15 05:47 AM
1

Are these her just simply being inquisitive or am I missing that this is a shit test? Maybe, maybe not. Those are not the important questions. Those are what your hamster produced. How are you getting on with the required reading, WISNIFG in particular?
/r/askMRP28/10/15 10:54 PM
1

It's a good field report. There is so much AWALT in there that I found myself predicting almost to the letter each upcoming text message from them. See, that's why you should STFU. The back and forth text tennis simply consumed your valuable time. It added zero to your life. If you had shut it down with a simple no, it might still have ended in radio silence, except you wouldn't have wasted so much of your most valuable asset. I find shit tests like this are even easier to pass when it's a "gang…
/r/askMRP28/10/15 08:44 PM
1

He rewarded her by letting her make him a sammidge
/r/askMRP28/10/15 05:00 PM
1

Bag of skittles?
/r/askMRP28/10/15 04:30 PM
-2

It's not a case of "what if". We say AWALT for a reason. She almost certainly will respond in the way you think she will. The difference now is that you know AWALT. And you know what to do. Or in this case, what not to do. Just keep your mouth shut. It's called "frame", and it represents your "world view". As soon as you engage in these types of conversation with her, you are probably validating her world view, at the cost of your own. Maintain your frame, don't step into hers. Just shut the fuc…
/r/askMRP28/10/15 03:54 PM
1

You really can't go wrong with a little smirk, a playful slap on the ass, and then go do something else. She's not gonna turn to putty in your hands of course, but the biggest thing to fix at the very beginning is not digging yourself deeper into a hole. It will start to come naturally later, but when you do the smile/slap/STFU, know that you are most likely passing a shit test
/r/askMRP28/10/15 03:49 PM
2

The 3 books are absolutely essential. Get on them immediately.
/r/askMRP28/10/15 03:45 PM
-8

Stop hamstering. Stop being afraid of what she might respond like. AWALT. Yes, of course she'll respond with that, or something like it. That's why at the beginning, the best thing you can do is STFU. Saying nothing at all is much better than trying to engage in a logical conversation. Just like you don't bring a knife to a gun fight, you don't bring logic to a conversation with a hamster
/r/askMRP28/10/15 03:43 PM
0

Love it. It's the worst thing a parent can say to a child.
/r/askMRP28/10/15 02:43 PM
2

Handling women long term is kinda not what it's all about. Handling yourself long term, within the context of Marriage 2.0 is more true to what you will find here. Women are more than capable of handling themselves, and they have society in their side of the equation in case things get a bit tough for them. Nobody gives a shit about men in general, and about you in particular. Your goal is to learn to take full control of giving a shit about you, and your life. You are the only one who can do th…
/r/askMRP28/10/15 05:28 AM
2

There is no universal right or wrong answer here. It's your ship, and how you captain it is totally up to you. We can help you find the places where your captaincy is failing, or totally absent, but you are the one who needs to set your own course. That being said, here's my situation. I make good money. Not "fuck you" money just yet, but am the highest paid in my office by a long way and make more than any of my friends. Wife stays home with the kids. Extra income would be great, but, we really…
/r/askMRP28/10/15 05:23 AM
1

Leave your Internet friends on the Internet and use the real world to make some real male friends. Just go to the gym, do your shit, and eventually, you will get to know some people there. Don't seek them out, just let nature take its course
/r/askMRP27/10/15 08:46 PM
3

What if she is reading that to feed her hamster to figure out what you are up to? Edit: Fuck what she reads. Stop hamstering about it and stay focused on you.
/r/askMRP27/10/15 05:55 PM
1

With regards to choosing not to go "no contact", how about you think about what you are afraid of. Why does "no contact" sound good to you? Use that exercise to identify the weaknesses in your frame, and then use that to drive you forward
/r/askMRP27/10/15 05:30 PM
1

The best way (only way?) that I know of to build an abundance mentality is to start recognising the abundance that is around you. Read "day bang" by roosh v, and start approaching women. Not to "try to pick them up", but to help you break out of the pattern that you are in. Ask 50 women for the time, for example. Even one per day is a start. 50 per day is better, because you don't get all caught up in trying to select one or another. You just wanna ratchet up the number of approaches until your …
/r/askMRP27/10/15 05:27 PM
2

Hey, you got this. Over the years I got lazy and complacent, and I neglected that aspect of my life. Don't underestimate the importance of this realisation. This is the big differentiator between the guys who successfully unplug and the guys who never get it. You'll get a lot of detailed breakdown in the interactions you describe in your OP from the dudes on here, and you should absolutely pay attention to that, but, I'm telling you that you've got it. She's even told you that you used to have i…
/r/askMRP27/10/15 03:58 PM
2

I agree with /u/strategos_autokrator that you are likely wasting your time trying to spoon feed him bits and pieces of TRP. In addition, getting all tied up with all those extra hamsters will only set you back yourself. Look at where you are at now: looking for validation on the advice you gave him. That speaks volumes about your own frame. You are making good progress with your own journey, preserving that should be your highest priority. At best, you can lead your friend by example. He can loo…
/r/askMRP27/10/15 01:32 PM
2

He wants us to tell him what to do ;p
/r/askMRP27/10/15 10:27 AM
2

TRP says this situation is pretty much as close to a unicorn as you are going to get Maybe you need to check with your dealer, because what you are describing doesn't sound like any red pill I'm familiar with... How about you give us a sense of where you are at with unplugging. Have you read "The Rational Male"?
/r/askMRP27/10/15 10:26 AM
2

Are you owning your shit? Are you improving? Are you becoming a high value man? If so, get used to getting attention from other women. You'll be building an abundance mentality, right? Oneitis will be in your distant past as you develop this mentality. I don't recommend going "no contact" with Candy, because that's not really gonna help you, and also because it perpetuates some helpless image you have of yourself. Talk, flirt, whatever, but make sure you know what your boundary is and be sure yo…
/r/askMRP27/10/15 06:59 AM
2

I've seen this happen first hand. Sister in law and her son were staying with us for a few weeks during the year. I didn't want to go opening up a bag of snakes, but it is clear to me that their marriage is a mess. I could imagine either one of them posting on dead bedrooms claiming to be the HL partner with an LL spouse. Both of them are so passive aggressive to each other, it's really a mess. Anyway, while they were here, they pretty much never called home to speak to him, but, I noticed too t…
/r/askMRP27/10/15 06:50 AM
1

I remember years ago reading an ad on Gumtree about some lady who would come round to your place and clean it top less, or naked. I guessed at the time that it was some coded advertising for sexual services, but in this context, I imagine that it would rattle some cages.
/r/askMRP26/10/15 08:30 PM
2

The basic difference with the men's version of kegels us that you must do them with a heavy barbell on your shoulders
/r/askMRP26/10/15 02:01 PM
4

Yep. The greatest trick that society has pulled is to convince men that we are romantic because women want us to be. Society has created a moral high ground from which women can shame men into being more romantic (read beta bux). I swear I can't think of anything "romantic" that my wife has ever done for me, although she has done many "nice" things. I really enjoy doing romantic stuff with her, especially the planning and arrangement. /u/IanIronwood was a really good read with "alpha moves" beca…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/15 12:42 PM
2

OP: your understanding of what advice you might get on here is upside down. You actually sound like a misguided troll, as opposed to someone who is genuinely struggling with applying and internalising TRP. Here is where I LOLed for the first time in your post: Was this regular party shenanigans, or should I divorce her? Everything after that was hard to pay any serious attention to. From what I've seen of your post history, you seem (at best) to be new to TRP in general. So, you get the "new guy…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/15 10:25 AM
2

The female super power of living in the here and now always impresses me. "wait a minute, I was mad, but, I'm feeling happy right now, lets roll with it".
/r/askMRP26/10/15 05:23 AM
2

Shit test. Also, now that you understand covert contracts, can you see how she was pissy because she had a covert contract in her head that said if she pulled out, you would too. Then she continued trying to manipulate you with ever increasing efforts to make you feel bad or shame you. You absolutely did the right thing going. Further, the issue is done with now, and doesn't need any more thought or conversation on your part, even if she feels the need to bring it up again sometime
/r/askMRP25/10/15 08:37 AM
3

My assessment of the whole situation is And then you tell us what you think is wrong with your girlfriend. My biggest problem right now And then you proceed to describe different scenarios which might happen, and varying levels of passivity on your part as responses to them. However, I have no illusions of being a red pill, which I ain't. As others have said, it is very clear from your post that you have not read and absorbed the side bar material. Until you've done that, you will not be able to…
/r/askMRP25/10/15 07:59 AM
2

I think a big part of it happens when you realise that women "just know" how to handle the pregnancy. Their bodies adapt to the pregnancy and they even start to behave differently. Men don't have any of this natural super charging, and in fact, are probably configured to go out and find some other woman to impregnate. So. You can help out a lot, and they definitely appreciate it, but as long as you don't start treating them like they have some disease, and that they need round the clock support …
/r/askMRP24/10/15 07:48 PM
1

There are reasons why it's important, and every individual dude ultimately decides for himself what's right for him. In your situation, initiating PROPERLY (ie. no discussions about it, just do it) as much as possible will help you internalise outcome independence with respect to sex. If you initiate all the time, and most of the time you end up not having sex, and yet you don't let that bother you and keep initiating anyway, that will help you. Sometimes she will be receptive, sometimes she won…
/r/askMRP24/10/15 07:06 PM
2

I agree that OP has a long way to go before he can appreciate the advice you gave him, and continue to give with your updated post. I think it was you who said that in some cases, the best thing to do is pick apart the carcass so that others can learn, and you are absolutely right with this. I know that when I read your comments, I kinda do it solipsistically, reflecting on how the words apply to myself also.
/r/askMRP24/10/15 10:25 AM
5

And the more he acts like a beta whiny bitch, the lower he is setting the bar for Chad.
/r/askMRP24/10/15 10:08 AM
5

WTF dude. Seriously. You had it right there in your hands, right up until she challenged your frame and you crumbled. The problem with your "dirty talk" was that it was an act. And she saw right through it. When she told you it was crass, and you crumbled and started to talk about why you chose to say it, what your feelings about the relationship were etc, you completely broke the frame you had established. The rest of your post is just your hamster (ego) figuring out how to protect you from bei…
/r/askMRP24/10/15 10:07 AM
1

Nice job! You are a red pill vending machine!
/r/askMRP24/10/15 09:57 AM
5

I'm evolved to love a woman. I beg to differ. You are evolved to fuck many women, and women are evolved to do everything they can to secure an alpha male to protect them and their offspring. That's the nature side of things. She seems to have been raised to stand on her own two feet. Nothing wrong with that, she's a mature adult who knows what she wants. The red pill doesn't make any claim to force women to be subservient slugs, despite what it's detractors say. The red pill is a combination of …
/r/askMRP24/10/15 07:38 AM
3

Reread what you said here....
/r/askMRP23/10/15 10:24 PM
1

Victim puke? These games of hers make me angry, make me lose my peace and I don't have the time for it. Is this the wrong approach? I think this is your current issue to fix. Getting angry and losing your peace is definitely the wrong approach. Contrast this with "IDGAF". You are giving plenty of fucks, and potentially this is spilling out into other aspects of your life too? Being the captain is a lifetime job. A thankless job. You are disposable. If you choose to go Monk Mode, focus on getting…
/r/askMRP23/10/15 07:48 PM
6

You sure you really swallowed the pill 3 years ago? Maybe you just took a little taste of it, settled into a LTR, and are now requiring to up your dose? Would it make you feel like more of a Man of she initiated? That sounds like validation seeking to me. Stopping initiation to try and make her initiate sounds like butt hurt to me. If you want sex, initiate.
/r/askMRP23/10/15 07:31 PM
4

Males initiate, females reciprocate. Source : discovery channel
/r/askMRP23/10/15 07:27 PM
4

Yes. I mean, breath play is not "simulated choking", it's real fucking choking, with real danger. It's not just pantomime, and pushing past any begging for mercy, pleading, crying etc is actually required or else the mood is broken.Without a safety net, it's just actual, real rape or something. Or attempted murder. I was not comfortable really dominating my wife until we had a safe word, and even then I hesitate to push it as far as she seems more than happy to be pushed. She told me she likes t…
/r/askMRP23/10/15 11:20 AM
1

Regarding your conclusion : if she walks out and "leaves you" over this, then I would say this is a "Main Event". When you call to cancel the appointment,reschedule another one, and don't discuss the topic further with your wife beyond telling her that you appreciate how she wants to look out for your health, but that you are responsible for your own health and don't want her to book you any more appointments unless you specifically ask her to. You do not need to raise the discussion, but if she…
/r/askMRP23/10/15 08:24 AM
2

Regarding the scheduling of the physical, was that something you asked her to do or did she just take it upon herself because she thinks you are not responsible enough to do it yourself?
/r/askMRP23/10/15 08:14 AM
3

I counted 5 phone calls there. Over the space of about 90 minutes perhaps?
/r/askMRP23/10/15 08:12 AM
17

I don't see it mentioned in any other post, but I think you absolutely need to establish a "safe word" and or "safe signal" as soon as possible. The reason being that if you go into this hard physical dominance space, and start to push to where it seems like she wants to explore, one or both of you is going to be forcing past strong resistance, both physical and verbal. "please stop that, you are really hurting me", crying potentially, etc. In this space, those emotions are a large part of what …
/r/askMRP22/10/15 07:40 PM
5

Read "The Gervais principal" to understand the dynamic here more. Your boss is probably not a "sociopath" in the terminology of that book, he is likely "clueless". Also, if you read it, I think you might recognise yourself as a "loser" in the terminology of the book. That doesn't mean you are "uncool", but does mean that you are likely blind to where the true power players operate. There is another book by the same author called "be slightly evil" which claims to be a playbook that you could fol…
/r/askMRP22/10/15 07:27 PM
3

Care to elaborate?
/r/askMRP22/10/15 12:56 PM
3

Maybe you have the opposite problem from some other new guys in that you see everything as a comfort test, where other guys see everything as a shit test? If you are responding to real shit tests as if they are comfort Tests, then that would potentially be something to look into. Give us some "comfort test" field reports of recent ones you've noticed and maybe we go can at least rule that out.
/r/askMRP22/10/15 12:29 PM
1

Acta non verba
/r/askMRP22/10/15 09:39 AM
1

misogynist I see what you did there. Nice try
/r/ExRedPill21/10/15 07:30 PM
2

Hey, From your post, I'm wondering whether he might be going a bit overboard with his "tactics". It's common for new guys to see everything as a shit test, and not recognise when they are just being a regular dickhead, rather than an "asshole". On the other hand, maybe he's decided that you are not adding much value to his life, and might be already emotionally checking out of the relationship. Are you familiar with "The 12 stages of dread"? What level would you say he is at? If he goes as far a…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/15 07:27 PM
-1

OP falls in love with a man. Man turns into a pussy by trying to be everything OP wants in a man. Man realises that his pussiness is making his life miserable, and no matter how hard he tries, this just keep getting worse. OP doesn't feel this pain because pussy man is behaving like probably 8 out of 10 dudes she knows. He's "normal", by the standards that society holds, but he is absolutely not happy. Pussy man learns that all that whiney beta behaviour was his own choice, and has potentially c…
/r/ExRedPill21/10/15 07:11 PM
1

Yeah, on this topic, the line between reality and satire is so blurry, it really had me going. The only time I thought that it broke character was when he notices the furniture section at the end
/r/askMRP21/10/15 05:44 PM
8

If you need to contact her for some logistical arrangements, do it. If you need to contact her for some sort of relationship reassurance, don't do it. No butt hurt there. Standard text messaging rules apply, and if you are speaking to her by phone, just act like the hang up never happened. Also, your post is a good one. It highlights that initial urge to go running back to her to get your cookie and have her "forgive you". Your frame should be that no forgiveness is necessary, because you didn't…
/r/askMRP21/10/15 09:40 AM
1

I see what you did there ;)
/r/askMRP21/10/15 09:35 AM
1

Phew!
/r/askMRP20/10/15 08:47 PM
1

It is a painful read, I warn you.
/r/askMRP20/10/15 07:39 PM
1

Ditto. Mine also prefers "acts of service". In 20/20 RP hindsight, the little grin on her face when the test confirmed for her (and me) that I needed to do more chores around the house, kinda haunts me. I agree that "words of affirmation" is probably the easiest one to fulfill
/r/askMRP20/10/15 07:26 PM
1

So forget about what effect the alcohol had on her for a sec, and let's focus on you. You had some alcohol, your inhibitions were lowered, you initiated like a Man, just the way she wanted, and she really seemed to enjoy it. I mean, pay less attention to what effect alcohol may or may not have had on her, and examine what kinds of things you did differently. You probably were more confident, less "robotic", less supplicating, more outcome independent, less fucks given. The whole point here is fo…
/r/askMRP20/10/15 06:54 PM
2

Now what? What do you want to do? You want to let this control you for the rest of your life? You want to tell your wife? You want somebody to tell you that you've been a naughty boy? You want somebody to tell you that it's nothing to worry about and it will all be fine? Recognise your hamster spinning in his wheel on this one. Just watch him whirring around. It'll figure out an answer for you somewhere, but you still get to be the Man who decides the answer to "now what?", not us, nor your hams…
/r/askMRP20/10/15 05:58 PM
2

It doesn't matter if I don't "feel" like getting up. Face the Feelz and do it anyway :)
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/15 01:42 PM
3

Getting past the root of validation seeking behavior Your ego is the root of validation seeking behaviour. Your ego tries to protect you from emotional pain, at all costs. Unlike a prescription for some medicine, a professional therapist is trained to guide you to find the answers inside yourself by helping you to recognise the right questions. The therapist will not be reprogramming your brain in the same way medicine can reprogram your chemistry or biology. Try reading "the power of now", and/…
/r/askMRP20/10/15 09:06 AM
2

Yep: clue is great
/r/askMRP19/10/15 08:03 PM
1

Haha. I guess all men are "tinkerers" at heart, and don't like to read "instruction manuals". It's like the last remnants of AWALT denial. It's that moment where you finally accept that AWALT and then it's just plain sailing.
/r/askMRP19/10/15 08:01 AM
4

I clean it, not for her, but because it needs to be cleaned. Great. You are clear on your frame here, and you are not making a covert contract. " thanks for cleaning the kitchen, you're such a good husband." I think you are handling this well too, say" you're welcome", or "yes I am a good husband", nothing wrong with these. The issue I think you've got though is that you are letting this shake your frame. You know that she is complimenting you for what you now perceive as a "beta" trait, so you …
/r/askMRP19/10/15 04:42 AM
2

Since finding TRP, I would never again advise any dude to get married, though on the occasions I've had a chance to, I didn't advise any dude not to get married either. Online is different, but to be honest, IRL, I just don't want to be involved in anyone else's shit. If I knew then what I know now, I would do it all differently for sure, but, I don't regret getting married. Yes, in hindsight and with TRP in my belly, i can see that it was a mistake, but at the time I did it, it was what I wante…
/r/askMRP17/10/15 07:28 PM
1

How is your stoicism? One thing that stoic philosophy teaches is to sirens each moment with the ones you love as if it were the last one. Enjoy the time with them while you have them, laying down the memories that you'll be left with after they are gone.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/15 06:52 PM
1

Stop seeing it as a "struggle". That speaks volumes about your frame. I really enjoyed your post by the way, your wife sounds like mine a little. When I first met her, the word that came to mind was "bitch". Not in an insulting way, just that this girl was no nonsense and knew what she wanted. I've been experimenting with different bits and pieces and can confirm that whenever I really dominate, she really likes it. For example, it sounds like she is playing around with you about cleaning the sh…
/r/askMRP15/10/15 03:38 PM
2

WISNIFG style dialog Her: "Why did you sleep on the couch last night?" Him: "Why is it wrong for me to sleep on the couch? " Her :" Because I'm your wife and we are supposed to share a bed" Him: "how about we also have sex while we are sharing the bed, would that work" Her: "Why are you always so pushy about sex" Him: "I love having sex with you. Why is it wrong for me to love having sex with my wife" Her : "it's not wrong, it's just that sometimes you are a whiny needy bitch about it" Him: "yes…
/r/askMRP15/10/15 10:33 AM
1

Amused mastery? Agree and amplify? Certainly trying to logically pick apart and disect her words, Mid conversation, is not gonna work.
/r/askMRP15/10/15 08:42 AM
1

They live in the moment. It's all about how they feel right now. Sometimes, they hamster up past feelings and have a little hamster run about how they feel now about those past feelings. If the hamster decides she is happy, then she is happy. When she spewed out that gem line about insecurity, embarrassment, and her desire to feel cherished, that's how she felt, at that moment. She didn't feel angry about the toilet seat, at that moment, but maybe she'll bring it up in the future, when it's the …
/r/askMRP15/10/15 08:36 AM
7

If you're seeking it out, you'll never find it. Here's food for thought : maybe she doesn't like your icky beta sperm, and would rather rub used cooking grease on her tits than your most recent squirt of slimy goo. If that bothers you to hear me say that, or if you feel like I'm provoking you into some sort of weird online battle of wits, that's something else you can work on. We're not here to help you trick your wife into taking a shot in the mouth. We're here to hold up a mirror for you to se…
/r/askMRP15/10/15 08:06 AM
1

Maybe it's down to the definition of commitment, or more precisely, the women's present moment interpretation of whether she's happy with the commitment she's got. If she's got a much better offer, or if you are "just not doing it for her", maybe that would be enough. Also, divorce proceedings tend to be more favorable to women in terms of settlement, so it would make sense that women would initiate divorce more often.
/r/askMRP15/10/15 05:01 AM
6

I know that "LOL" isn't all is literally cracked up to be but, if you compare how you felt with what he wrote with how you felt when you wrote this : I kinda laughed and ignored her, but it kind of pissed me off. You'll be doing well. "kinda laughed" vs "LOL", and then there is the "pissed off" bit. It's OK to be pissed off, but recognise that this "pissed off" feeling is a demonstration of frame control by an expert at it. For now, it's her frame we are talking about, but look how effortlessly …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/15 06:25 PM
2

Shit tests are unavoidable if you wanna alpha up. People will shit test you to determine your social rank. If you present as an alpha male, people will shit test you to confirm that status. If you don't want shit tests, stop trying to appear like an alpha. On the other hand, if you wanna alpha up, start passing shit tests, and keep passing them. If you are not getting shit tested, it means nobody considers you a high enough status to confirm it, or, you are so alpha that people instantly recogni…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/15 03:31 PM
1

Yep. It feels like you are training the kid and the wife. Kicking and screaming all the way to a quiet nights sleep
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/15 02:38 PM
1

Until recently, our one and a half year old regularly ended up in our bed during the night. I was a lazy fuck and let her wake up to deal with him, and it was just easier for her to bring him to our bed. I decided this had to stop, so each time she would do it, I would get up and bring him back to his own room and settle him in there,no matter how long it took. It was tough, and the wife didn't like it, but really, she did like it because she didn't have the heart of stamina to do it herself. No…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/15 02:23 PM
5

Nice. Would love to see some about AMALT. I mean, our side bar advice is the same, regardless of the man we give it to. All the dudes who come on here share exactly the same fucked up frame. I've yet to see a dude internalise TRP and then claim that he didn't need it. Once or twice a natural pops along who was "born free", and lots of dudes puke back out TRP because reality is too painful for them. But, AMALT is a thing I swear.
/r/askMRP14/10/15 02:11 PM
2

I'm kinda at the point where I just "be in the moment" with it. I'm not struggling with any urges to do it, and the thought of masturbating rarely if ever crosses my mind. If I felt wanted to do it, I'm certain that I just would. I was pretty good at it ;) It never got out of hand for me, but I did dial back on the porn usage after noticing that I was finding porn a bit boring
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/15 11:28 AM
1

Just relax. Look at what you are saying really : "I was doing really great, I experimented with something new, she reacted and I've momentarily lost frame and am confused". Don't over think this. You were happy as clams: why let her Feelz change that? Your mistake was not STFUing. Just STFU more and stop letting her cloud your vision. You even recognise that she was less angry towards the end. Just let her sort herself out. You concentrate on getting your head back to where it needs to be and ju…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/15 07:03 AM
2

+1 for quitting jerking off. Today is day 98 for me but the only reason I know that is that I have a little counter widget on my phone. Jerking off is not something I think about any more. At the beginning, I'd still watch some porn a little bit, just out of habit, but now there is no need for porn. Keeps the head clear and on message : "if you want to cum, then initiate". I don't think jerking off ever made me feel ashamed of anything, but knowing that I have the self discipline to basicly cut …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/15 04:44 AM
0

Is it unreasonable for her to expect the same in return? Nope. Hamsters gonna hamster. Should you fall into her frame over it? Nope. The reason I want to go to Vegas because I want to Fixed that for you. Have you read WISNIFG? You need to brush up on your assertiveness.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/15 06:04 PM
1

I hear you, but you should hear this: The point of asking a question in here is precisely to get blasted. Our goal is to help you on your journey, not to facilitate any victim hood. Who else or where else can you ask an honest question about these kinds of things and get the answers you actually need to hear, rather than the ones you want to hear? The dudes who are answering you have lived through the same shit you have, and they know what they wished someone would have told them back then. You'…
/r/askMRP13/10/15 05:53 PM
1

Stop picking up the slack.
/r/askMRP13/10/15 05:46 PM
1

Im leaning on DNGAF and just saying, "if you are going to do it, do it and stop bitching." we have had problems with keeping score early in the relationship but it keeps coming back. i try not to keep score but it seems i need to drop the hammer b/c its irritating. Nope. First off just STFU. Nothing more needs to be said. No nipping this in the bud. No trying to fight the hamster with reason. How about agree and amplify? you owe me I sure do, I'll work it off with sexual favors. This is worth at…
/r/askMRP13/10/15 05:44 PM
1

So you are happy she is taking the car, but you are not happy that she's taking the opportunity to emasculate you for being a pussy about driving?
/r/askMRP13/10/15 05:37 PM
1

im down 20lbs and lift 6 days a week and back to my best weight/dressing better. Great work, your merit badge is in the mail. she is 80lbs over so yeah, my SMV is without a doubt MUCH higher. Doubtful, if it really was, you wouldn't be making a post like this. It's OK to post it, that's what we're here for, but it's important you realise that your SMV is about way more than your looks and weight. The real question you want to ask yourself is : "does she think she can do better than you?" the ans…
/r/askMRP13/10/15 05:35 PM
1

She's inviting you to step into her frame, which is precisely what you'll do if you choose to see this from her perspective. It's your choice, remember? She can say what she wants, but you know better. No need to try to play verbal judo over who asked who to do what. You win some, you lose some. What will really set you back is if you get all butt hurt over it. Just do your softball game and thank her for doing the car thing. If she mentions how you owe her, offer to pay her back with sex, or to…
/r/askMRP13/10/15 04:33 PM
3

No, but you can always playfully threaten to do it. Or threaten a spanking because she is being a real brat.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/15 04:20 PM
2

The mind trick of treating them as 4 year olds has worked well for me. I think it's important to remind yourself of it as much as possible. Don't just wait for her to shit test you. Even when you are just being regular playful, keep in mind what your frame is. This also helps for letting go of any built up resentment
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/15 02:38 PM
1

When I posted my victim puke, someone gave me some good advice which I remember and act on to this day: Ego is going to be a big problem for you You are not reprogramming yourself. You need to, but you are not doing it. It's like you've got the plug half in and half out. Only you can unplug yourself, and you have not even started to do this yet. The advice you get on here only works if you make the internal changes that the advice is assuming you've made.
/r/askMRP13/10/15 12:53 PM
2

Love this comment. Well said.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/15 07:41 AM
-1

Maybe if it was a bath of male tears instead of water they'd give it a shot.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/15 03:08 PM
3

Does anyone has a solid simple lower dread level example? Dread levels 1-5 are all about becoming better, and advertising that value passively. Stick to those and get them solid before you start trying to "sell" yourself on the sexual marketplace.
/r/askMRP12/10/15 01:33 PM
5

"dread" is the word we use to describe how she starts to feel when she realises that you are a high value male with options. Dread is something that she does to herself in response to you getting your shit together and improving your SMV to a level where she starts to feel like she is not worthy of you. In other words, you improve, she starts to get worried about "holding on to you".
/r/askMRP12/10/15 01:26 PM
3

How could I use TRP to get her to be more responsive to my initiations or over time allow her to think twice about me just wanting sex when I touch her? Sorry. Doesn't work like that. TRP, and the advice you will get in here are about helping you to stop being Pussy whipped and start doing things that make you happy. How is your reading coming along on the 3 prerequisite books and side bar material? Hint : i already know the answer to this question. If you wanna swallow the red pill, by all mean…
/r/askMRP12/10/15 12:56 PM
1

TBP are loving this one. Sometimes I wonder whether you do this on purpose ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/15 11:09 AM
1

I think you've pretty much nailed it. So do I just accept that I'm going to get this type of reaction for a while and keep moving ahead? You can probably go so far as expecting this kind of reaction. Is it just a matter of holding your ground Not so much "holding ground" as "holding frame". Holding ground sounds like you might end up maintaining an unmaintainable position just for the sake of it. Holding frame is about not letting your self get psychologically u-turned and let your position get …
/r/askMRP11/10/15 08:19 AM
1

Yeah. It's like you just need to STFU for long enough and the hamster will spin itself tired and move on to something else. Same with kids. My youngest throws the most impressive tantrums, and then the clouds part and he's back to normal. APALT
/r/askMRP09/10/15 04:06 PM
2

Sharing his insights anywhere else could be seen as validation seeking behaviour. But sharing ideas on MRP or askMRP is not the same. Anyone who has lurked here for a while knows that we don't tolerate self victimisation, or validation seeking. Sharing your idea, and then sucking up the brutal honesty of the dudes on here makes you stronger. Iron sharpens iron
/r/askMRP09/10/15 04:03 PM
3

WISNIFG is such a disappointing RP book. I'm almost finished it and I can't see a single thing I can use to trick my wife into letting me have anal. He's got a dialogue breakdown for every other god damn situation but there is no script for when Timmy wanted to trick Tammy into doing anal sex. Vote for sidebar removal.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/15 01:49 PM
3

"hey babe, come check out this video... How many dicks you reckon she could fit in there?"
/r/askMRP09/10/15 01:18 PM
3

Don't over think it. You are a dude, you like lookin at tits and jacking off. No harm in it. I do think it's a great test of your self discipline to stop doing it though. Another thing to own.
/r/askMRP09/10/15 01:17 PM
5

Yeah, I'm on NoFap for basicly that reason. It helps me to go around with that "always initiating" mood, instead of feeling horny, jacking off, and then chilling out.
/r/askMRP09/10/15 01:05 PM
2

Talking when you should be shutting the fuck up is probably the most common thing. Obviously as you internalise things and unplug more, you can start to play around, but STFU is universally beneficial. While you are STFUing, you can instead pay attention to the shit tests or comfort tests that are thrown at you and before long, as you start to see confirmation of the AWALT in your own precious snowflake, you'll start to smirk and grin. This is where you'll feel a big change in comparison to how …
/r/askMRP09/10/15 12:43 PM
4

In general, the answer is to start right now. However, in general, it's said to take about one month for each year that you've been married. The problem, then, is to figure out how to start applying the knowledge without fucking your shit up even more. You've already started lifting and reading. That's great. Now, you just need to shut the fuck up. Seriously, no more emotional outbursts of anger, resentment, sadness, or butt hurt in general. No emotional outbursts of the positive type either. Fo…
/r/askMRP09/10/15 11:57 AM
3

I don't plan on ever slacking off on self improvement. I'll let you know at the end of my life how that works out for me ;)
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/15 10:06 AM
3

The purest red pill truth there is.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/15 10:03 AM
1

It's the blind leading the blind. It really is. It's funny how much anger there is on there, and towards RP in general. I never realised the destructive power of the human ego until I started to unplug.
/r/askMRP08/10/15 04:15 PM
2

He claimed he was going to play "hardball", I just rolled with his definition
/r/askMRP08/10/15 03:40 PM
2

I think this is probably the only way that's worth spending any effort on, considering my recent experience
/r/askMRP08/10/15 03:39 PM
3

We created /r/askmrp as a kind of landing area for dudes coming from /r/deadbedrooms. Private messaging isn't really what it's about. Also, if you stick around, you'll realise that "unplugging" is a process which you can only do for yourself. Nobody can tell you what the matrix is, you need to see it for yourself.
/r/askMRP08/10/15 12:46 PM
2

The best (and only) help you'll get is what you take for yourself. This post on /r/askmrp was partly created to at least make you aware of an alternative community of people who are actively fixing the kinds of problems you shared. Now that you've found it, I've given you about as much as I can actually "give". Fixing your situation is all about you fixing you. You need to help yourself basicly. Trust me, if there is one thing you need to know about the path you are about to walk, it's that you …
/r/askMRP08/10/15 12:40 PM
1

Ever see the movie "fight club"? You don't talk about fight club
/r/askMRP08/10/15 11:43 AM
1

Yeah, it really is a crab bucket over there
/r/askMRP08/10/15 10:33 AM
2

I up voted you because I know you are right. Fuck. That place is such a pit of sadness and despair. And then this guy is there, taking a look in, and I can see him about to fucking tumble down into the fucking mess, and I know I can't stop him, but FUCK! It's like standing by watching a fucking car crash. In slow motion. A completely avoidable car crash. Fuck that shit hole.
/r/askMRP08/10/15 07:10 AM
3

A shit test, by definition, is a test or probe of your masculinity. "are you man enough to handle my shit". Getting butt hurt is the definition of failing a shit test.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/15 07:51 PM
1

Volunteering somewhere? Public speaking, write poetry, write a book
/r/askMRP07/10/15 02:13 PM
3

But it sounds like too much work, and my wife won't let me see her hoohoo if she finds out, and what if your dick is bigger than mine, and I don't have a Webcam, and....
/r/askMRP07/10/15 02:11 PM
5

You do that too? Maybe we could form a club? We could all webcam each other and encourage each other to get better at our hobby
/r/askMRP07/10/15 01:54 PM
2

What do you like doing? Do more of it. What did you do before you handed your balls to your wife? Start doing that again. Your "hobby" could just be going to the park to read for a few hours.
/r/askMRP07/10/15 01:52 PM
9

STFU is the most reasonable, fool proof advice we can give. Until you know how to modulate and control yourself, it's better to say nothing. Yes, there is more to it, and obviously if you turn into a complete fucking mute you are gonna find things don't work out so well, but it's mainly a psychological cue. On the road to unplugging, you need some simple, fool proof advice that has been proven to work, is easy to remember, easy to implement, and at worst, cannot harm your situation any further. …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/15 08:52 AM
11

STFU Edit: seriously, just STFU
/r/askMRP07/10/15 04:59 AM
1

I agree that your addiction changes the parameters of "normal" somewhat, but I do not agree that your case is somehow more special. You are a man, she is a woman. The addiction adds some complication in places, but that is most likely offset somewhere else. So, you've become disillusioned with marriage in general, or maybe just your marriage. Great. That's part of unplugging. But unplugging it's a process, not a switch flip. It could take 6 months, or a year, or more before you fully unplug. Tha…
/r/askMRP07/10/15 04:39 AM
8

You can't negotiate with reality
/r/TheRedPill06/10/15 07:18 PM
2

Regarding your questions : I would just ignore the email ones. Make like you never even read it. If she brings it up, just tell her you stopped reading when she started rambling or something, and give her a wink. Regarding cologne, just go to a department store and find some hot sales assistant and go ask her to help you pick one out. Just spray some on you, and then see if your wife likes it. Don't ask her if she does, just pay attention to any spontaneous comments. And remember, pay attention …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 02:11 PM
2

MRP to tha grave Bro!
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 11:16 AM
1

Haha, this made me lol. Fart shaming is a thing. She has no shame is farting in bed beside me, or anywhere else, but if I Fart, the shame game starts up immediately. "is it RP to Fart in front of my wife"? Lol. Reminds me of that Outkast lyric :" I know you like to think yo shit don't stink ". Marking your territory, I like it. I'll use that as my go to Fart shaming defence from now on
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 11:13 AM
3

This week, I've been owning the "pull" of push pull. We've had sex a couple of times (maybe twice?) and neither arose from any "aggressive" escalation on my part. Can't say I escalated at all, although I laid on a lot of heavy innuendo here and there. Had a great shit test / "beta shaming" moment last night. She baked some cakes, I couldn't resist a bite before dinner and she tried to slap it out of my hand. "no cake before dinner"... I know she hates when I chew with my mouth open, or make nois…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 08:23 AM
1

I wish it was, on the other hand I actually hate the way my wife behaves and I don't like going out with her. I went out with her 2 or 3 times in 2014 and it was constant shit test. Shit tests are foreplay. You hate that she was constantly evaluating whether you were a worthy man for her? When you start having fun with shit tests, start playing up to them, stop being butt hurt over them, that's how you pass them. Shit tests are an indicator of interest. Women don't shit test dudes who they are n…
/r/askMRP06/10/15 07:57 AM
8

/r/askmrp is here for exactly those people. We prefer those posts to go in /r/askmrp so that they don't clog up or dilute /r/marriedredpill. It was conceived as a kind of holding area between /r/deadbedrooms and /r/marriedredpill. We try to go a little easier on the posts in /r/askmrp because we assume that the OP will be at the early stages of unplugging. Not too easy mind you, but we give the benefit of the doubt a bit more.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 07:44 AM
3

That's the red pill way, to get a life. And that's what /r/thebluepill doesn't want to get. They build a straw man of misogyny, and then tear it down easily. It's just easier to blame your shitty life on someone else, and to live like society owes you happiness and a happy life. Of course, you won't find happiness this way, but the pleasant delusion of having somebody else or something else to blame means your ego doesn't have to face up to the pain of being an autonomous agent in a less than be…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/15 07:14 AM
6

Talk to every person you can, especially girls, and try to make them laugh and stay interested. This. You are the prize. You are high value. People want to give you their attention. It doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl. Super hot or fugly. Young or old. You are just a cool guy who people like to spend time with. You make them feel good about themselves. If you go around now tuning your behaviour and conversations to how much you wanna fuck the person you are talking to, that will come acros…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/15 09:26 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3n80tp/joy_ego/
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/15 05:25 PM
2

Pay attention to your push /pull balance
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/15 05:05 PM
1

Lol. The butt hurt is strong in this one.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/15 01:26 PM
18

When we say withdraw affection, we don't mean walk around being icy or bitter. That's not attractive. She's not going to come running after a man who is upset. Yes. Withdrawing affection, in the early stages of unplugging, especially for nice guys with a ton of covert contracts, is a real eye opener. I can remember a slight feeling of "if I'm not giving her affection, then what the fuck else is there to do?" That was a great moment. One of those times where reality slaps you in the face. If you …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/10/15 08:57 AM
9

Don't over think it. She was just playing with you, and you have a playful response back. Her "are you serious" question implies that maybe just a little part of her thinks you might be. It's past now, but this is where "agree and amplify" really shines. Instead of saying "no baby, I was just joking", you go full exaggeration mode and say something so ridiculously outrageous that she knows you are joking, but she also sees that you are not just "pretending" to be playful. "yeah, I'm serious, I g…
/r/askMRP04/10/15 07:35 PM
3

What do I want from my life? I wish I knew. Yes, this can be really tricky. For me, I boil it down like this. I want to BE happy. BEing happy does not require you to HAVE lots of stuff. HAVing stuff can satisfy you in the short term, but real happiness is something that you just are, rather than something that you have. Once you connect to your inner happiness, you find that it is there in infinite amounts. You literally cannot use it up, and it cannot be taken away from you. It is not determine…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/15 07:22 PM
1

The big difference between your frame, and the predominant frame in the Married version of TRP is that the Men on here are owning their marriage, and all of the realities it brings. You want an easy life. The Men on here want "the good life". Your frame is totally out of alignment with one that will lead you to "the good life". Yes, you'll have an easy time just dodging your responsibilities, and you can compare yourself to others who also "take the easy road", but you'll never have a "good life…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/15 07:52 AM
1

The thing is, if you frame yourself as having a higher SMV than your SO, then that is what you will project. If you are trying to convince yourself that you have a higher SMV than your SO, then what you project will be a "try hard" frame of desperation and neediness. The new guys will "try" to increase their SMV as if it is an objective measure. Once you establish your frame (mindset/world view) as one where you already have a higher SMV (regardless of what anyone else says or does), then you ex…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/15 09:14 AM
5

Dude! This is a really great FR. Reminds me of how I felt reading "The Game" years ago. Just a Man figuring out his world, finding what works and what doesn't. New guys on here probably won't get this post on the same level as the more seasoned dudes. Any new guys reading this : this is RP/PUA 101.Everything in this field report is a demonstration of solid frame control. When he goes full beta, "fucking shit up", he's doing it all in his own frame. He is not out of control for even a moment. It'…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/10/15 07:25 AM
5

Someone should write a post about the reduction of growth in the individual and how that correlates to reduction in respect, sex, happiness and all that. Check out "The Passionate Marriage" by David schnarch
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/15 03:21 PM
1

Yep, that's a great post. I read it before, but it's another "5 out of 5 : would read again"
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/15 01:51 PM
2

Yes, I intend to apply it immediately. I posted on OYS this week about how I was in something of a Monk Mode. Part of that has allowed be to create some space in the marriage, some healthy distance. But, I've noticed that the distabce can easily make things feel cold. It's supposed to be fun. You only live once. The sad irony is that although you can own the blame for fucking things up to the point of finding TRP, gung ho sprint application of RP theory can literally fuck things up worse and qui…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/15 01:40 PM
1

5 out of 5 : would read again
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/15 01:24 PM
1

That's OK, keep trying, you'll get it
/r/askMRP01/10/15 06:26 PM
1

Not true. The comparable athletic version would be evaluating your progress as an athlete by how many Olympic medals you got without even entering the Olympics. A blow job is not the same as an unprompted blowjob
/r/askMRP01/10/15 05:21 PM
2

Another more productive question for you : Since your victim puke one month ago on asktrp (https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3j1h7o/being_beta_has_my_wife_wanting_divorce_ready_to/) What have you done to improve yourself?
/r/askMRP01/10/15 01:43 PM
2

I’ve made some pretty shit threads in MRP but haven’t been entirely clear or forthright about my situation due to embarrassment. What you say to others over the Internet is not worth a shit. You are holding yourself back by lying to yourself. Make some posts in the weekly "own your shit" thread. Stop telling yourself lies. The dudes on here can see through those lies easily anyhow, so you are not fooling anyone, and we don't really care all that much about what way this goes for you. Yes you get…
/r/askMRP01/10/15 01:36 PM
6

To me, the details and nuances of your story come across as no different to any other victim puke I've read (including my own). Your words may be different, but the behaviour that you've recognised in yourself is precisely the kind of behaviour that many, if not all men on married red pill have first hand experience of. Any one of the men in here could victim puke just like your one. The reason we don't encourage victim pukes in general, and the reason they get slammed on the main MRP sub is tha…
/r/askMRP01/10/15 01:18 PM
3

"the chase is better than the catch"
/r/TheRedPill01/10/15 10:28 AM
1

Maybe get more serious about your extra curricular activities? You say you've been fucking around, and she is ok with that. And you sound OK with that too. Are you spinning plates or are these all One Night Stands?
/r/askMRP01/10/15 09:39 AM
2

Would you be hyper focused on a child just playing in the yard? No, you just enjoy it for what it is. Not hyper focused on the child, hyper focused on enjoying it for what it is.
/r/askMRP30/09/15 05:00 PM
1

No no, I totally hear where you are going with this. Point taken.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 02:36 PM
2

Yep. I do this too. It's like something clicks and you notice where previously you would have totally misread the situation,or worse, been totally oblivious to it. The thing I'm trying to do is to tune into that "click" so that I can select an even more appropriate response. Nothing wrong with laughing, and I'm not taking about "over thinking" your next move. I'm talking about being hyper tuned in to the current moment.
/r/askMRP30/09/15 02:34 PM
2

In theory, any reactive emotional outburst that was not 100% a consciously chosen response is something you could work on. On the other hand, consciously trying to suppress those things is probably a but fake too. Getting to conscious awareness of your "now" and then staying in conscious, focused control of your now. That's my 2cents.
/r/askMRP30/09/15 01:55 PM
1

Yes and sometimes
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 01:50 PM
1

Thanks for taking the time to write all this! I've done the dumb little Chad shit, and it works. It's just right now I'm working on my self discipline, instead of trying to improve my sex life. Points you made are all good though. "We have a great marriage, except for the Sex right now ". I totally understand how I took what was a good Sex Life, and turned it into a dead bedroom in the space of about 10 months. We are together 15 years, and the dry spell is only the last few months. I don't hate…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 01:07 PM
1

Small FR of something that just happened : So, I answer a phone call from the wife (been following the 2 for 3 rule, or maybe 1 for 4....) Shark week, I've been withdrawing, she's been doing little comfort tests, I think I'm handling it all pretty well, and I do feel very positive about the general state of affairs, even though sex is still not up to par. So, on the phone call, I ask her "so, u wanna watch some TV tonight or something else?". Yeah yeah, not a smart move. But, she responded with …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 10:44 AM
1

Watch what they do, not what they say
/r/askMRP30/09/15 04:37 AM
1

Your OP focused on the aspects of the female imperative that TRP has "discovered". The core reading material for married red pill is heavily leaning on technical books that help men be better men. For example, your initial post does not mention "covert contracts", or assertive communication. The guys on here are not so much spending their time figuring out their wives: they are figuring out how to become better Men. It's amazing how, for the most part, AMALT when it comes to the amount of self s…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/15 04:16 AM
1

Good call. Like I said, I'm not rushing to those active dread levels yet. She knows sex is really important to me, and I confirmed that with my beta pleading and butt hurt after covert contract violations. We've never had a "talk" about it, and now I am withdrawing affection somewhat, and not initiating so much. I'm not faking that. It's a self discipline thing. She can't withhold something I am not asking for, or expecting. I'm more into fixing myself right now, than chasing after some starfish…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/15 06:13 PM
1

Spot on
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/15 05:36 PM
3

OP sounds a bit like a troll. Something seems off about someone posting what is essentially a complete understanding of RP theory and then flame baiting by saying "oh, I was expecting some ground breaking new theory, not this obvious common sense stuff". OP: either you are a troll or you are a natural alpha who just gets all of this intuitively. Either way, good for you. I can relate somewhat to your feelings that this is all common sense, I mean, TRP is not some set of rules that men invented t…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/15 05:16 PM
6

In on day 83 of NoFap. 90% of my orgasms were from masturbation, and the rest from pity/duty/whatever/meh sex prior to that. I figured that getting some self discipline going for the 90% would help me with my outcome independence for the important stuff. It's going really well. I've refused starfish a couple of times, I've had far more fulfilling sex on those occasions where I get it, and knowing that I am in total control over how / when / where I have an orgasm is paying off for my inner minds…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/15 12:26 PM
2

Bluepill betas are like atlas with the world on his shoulders, straining under the weight of their obligations to everyone else and suffering quietly under the assumption that everyone else is also carrying a heavy load. When you start to give fewer fuck, the weight gets lighter. Bluepill betas fill in all the gaps in a relationship, in order to keep the relationship alive. When you unplug, you step back a bit from the relationship and give it space to exist. You stop carrying all the weight, an…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/15 07:12 AM
3

Have you read "when I say no I feel guilty"? It's likely that she is not" asserting herself over you " but rather trying to manipulate you with guilt trips etc. Read that book, you need to learn how to be assertive. You need to learn how to recognise and side step the manipulative conversational tactics that humans learn at an early age. You also need to learn how to state your position without falling back on those same manipulative tactics.
/r/askMRP29/09/15 06:09 AM
5

You don't sound very RP to me. You sound like a guy who learned PUA, got a girl, managed to kill the bedroom in ten months, and somehow still has oneitis about her. Dude. You have not swallowed the pill. They say married red pill is red pill on hard mode. Since you are not married, you should absolutely next her, or at best, make her a plate. You are not constrained by the reality of Marriage 2.0. You are not gonna get divorce raped. You are young, the relationship is young.
/r/askMRP29/09/15 06:02 AM
3

In "The power of now", by eckhart tolle, he says that the best way to deal with emotions like anger is to turn your focus and attention onto the anger, and the physical sensations inside your body when you are angry. It's not what you feel that matters, it's how you feel about what you feel. Anger tends to be an undesirable emotion, and its usually that sense of wanting to not be angry that people get really upset about. It's natural for you to want to ruminate on the anger, and to figure out wh…
/r/askMRP29/09/15 05:52 AM
1

"of course we won't have sex, what do you take me for, a gigolo? Let's just sit on our opposite sides of the bed, with a carefully marked out line we will not cross, and watch the movie. If I thought for even a second you just wanted to meet up for sex, I would feel so dirty I would need to scrub my body with bleach and then go pray for the rest of the night. So we are agreed, no sex" Edit: maybe disagree and amplify would work even better here since its just over tinder? "no sex? Damn, I only w…
/r/askTRP28/09/15 01:48 PM
3

See, this sounds like a comfort test to me. Well in the beginning it was, but then it escalated into some nasty stuff. That passive aggressive silent treatment is such a waste of time. Jealousy is a negative emotion, and will tend to dominate a weak mind if it's present. I've noticed that I've mistaken these tests for shit tests in the past, and is only in hindsight when I reflect that the better action would have been to recognise and pass the comfort test. "daddy daughter time leaves me feelin…
/r/askMRP28/09/15 04:50 AM
5

The difference is that when you ask like that, and she doesn't go, then you don't give a fuck. When she asks like that, and you don't go, that bothers her. She does it to manipulate you into doing something you don't want to. She's trying to manipulate, you are being assertive. NMMNG, WISNIFG, it's all in there
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/15 06:11 AM
1

Not all dread needs to be purposefully presented. You are improving yourself, you are engaging with her less, you are doing your own thing no matter what she wants. You openly admit that you are less attracted (or not at all attracted) to her. You are not just acting out a part in a scripted play. You are doing your thing naturally. Those things are what people do when a relationship is coming to an end. Your wife will pick up on this. She might not do anything about it right away, but that's fi…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/15 04:25 AM
1

I'm not saying what happened wasn't hurtful, or that you shouldn't feel hurt. What I'm saying is that it seems to me that you are allowing those feelings to rattle your frame, your opinion on the state of the world around you. Nobody can change what happened, but you have complete control over how you choose to deal with your feelings on the matter, and over how you want your life to move forward in light of knowing what happened. It's your responsibility (to yourself) to "get a grip" on this, a…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/15 04:13 AM
6

I'm starting to think you are still a little butt hurt about this. It's a shitty situation, but for your own sanity, you need to move past it. One way or another. She seems to regret that incident. She's trying to reconcile. Short of inventing a time machine, I doubt there is much else she can do to remedy what happened. If you want her to show value to your life, you've gotta let this go and let her in. Otherwise, move on
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/15 07:42 PM
1

It could be, or, it could be a bonding thing. If I do a small favour for you, then, for the time being, you are in my debt. I can ask you for a small favour shortly after, and if you do it, then we are socially even. If you refuse, then you will have rejected equality with me, but it's likely that I will not do any more small favours for you. Human society is built on this dynamic. "debt : the first 5000 years", by David Graeber is a great treatment of the topic. Lots of other good stuff in ther…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/09/15 07:34 PM
3

And then next time, make it heavier or do it more times.
/r/askMRP25/09/15 03:53 PM
2

"shit tests" are sub conscious tests of your frame. They are part of how humans establish social order and hierarchy, because we are social animals. If you feel like complying in the given circumstances would compromise your social position, then it is a shit test. Whether it's from a man or a woman. If someone asks you nicely to do them a favour, it's not automatically a test of your social rank, but you can easily parley it into an assertion of your social rank, by either refusing, or by compl…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/15 07:30 PM
2

I actually did start out my journey saying "Everything is wonderful, I need to make some changes." I wanted to make things better in my marriage, and make it grow even more wonderful. Of course, that was a year before I discovered TRP, and by "improve things" I literally overdosed on the blue pill and ended up creating a dead bedroom for myself. Funny story really, when I look back on it. I mean, I was proactively being a beta bux, and was increasingly confused by the "counter intuitive" results…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/15 07:20 PM
3

If you are gonna hang around on here, get used to replies like that. The thing is, probably every dude on here has previously been a whiny, needy, lazy little boy. Getting called out on it and improving yourself is what we are here for. Men don't give each other a shoulder to cry on, men don't spare each others feelings.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/15 06:20 PM
1

You have oneitis, the prescription is the red pill, taken once, and lived forever.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/15 07:25 AM
9

Pay attention to the advice you are getting here about how all of this is your fault. Seriously. Take ownership of it all. Don't allow any part of you to put any of it on her. That mindset makes you a victim. And we are not a victim support group on here. /r/deadbedrooms will comfort your victim mangina if you need it, but on here, you'll get advice that actually works in practice. It's common to feel like it wont work, or that it shouldn't work. It works. Regardless of if you stay or go, you ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/15 07:20 AM
1

Lol. And in fact, I might respect her a bit less of she turned Gates down. It's all hypothetical though, but seriously, I'd probably fuck gates or let him fuck me. Everything has a price :)
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/15 06:57 AM
0

The backlash is because you have regurgitated the red pill, and now you are sugar coating it for yourself with beta sugar. It's not that you are suggesting some actions that people don't agree with, it's just that your presentation of the "inner game" and mindset/frame are all about your wife. "she wants this", "she needs that". Yes, her needs and wants are fine, but your needs and wants are what motivate you, not hers. New guys reading a post like yours will end up doubling down on their beta w…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/15 06:38 AM
1

Beta bux gets a dude starfish sex at best, or a dead bedroom. And those dudes are putting in massive energy to get those shitty results. Covert contracts, nice guys, non assertive. Twice per month shitty sex is not even 20% Of the results. And the effort that goes in to getting it is probably close to 100% of what a weak sauce beta can deliver. Those guys run themselves ragged in return for scraps, at best. Your understating of the 80/20 rule as it applies here is totally inverted.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/09/15 05:35 AM
1

Also, you did do it because you wanted to, it's just that now you are butt hurt because you've realised that you've been looking for rewards in the wrong place
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 08:28 PM
6

Yeah, but remember that there is no rush! Too many guys try to rush ahead because it all seems so straight forward to read, and because there are so many guys posting success stories. Take your time. You are literally building a new mindset and hopefully one that lasts for the rest of your life. What's the harm in taking it slow, paying attention to your actions and mindset, and accepting that you are gonna fuck up every now and then. Shit, you spent years fucking it up, a few more weeks or mont…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 08:25 PM
1

Pet names can be a little degrading though, no? It might be a very casual social status thing. Women use names like that to refer to each other. Maybe next time, A&A by suggesting a more appropriate pet name, or AM with something like "its so cute how you have a pet name for me". If there is anything to the pattern you think you are noticing, the best way to find out will be to experiment and see what happens.
/r/askMRP23/09/15 07:05 PM
10

Firstly, calm down. You are changing your ways, resistance is to be expected. So, when it comes to holding frame in this situation, and in many more while you unplug, the key is not to express any feelings of butt hurt that you might have. This situation is just a logistical wire crossing. No need to let yourself blow up into a big thing about how she was "hiding something from you". Also, I sense that you might be a bit upset because you expected that she was going to be so happy and tingly bec…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 06:58 PM
11

The other nice aspect of this is that it let's you see that the shit tests are not consciously thrown at you. It's like a natural human instinct. The same way men rib each other and make fun of each other to maintain social order. It builds rapport between men, it brings structure to those who depend on men
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 05:47 PM
1

Pretty sure my wife would fuck Bill Gates if she had the chance. No amount of lifting can trump billions of dollars.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 05:41 PM
1

SMV is not the only measure of a man OK, but TRP is a sexual strategy, not a "be a better man strategy". Yes: you'll be a better man by applying TRP principles, but this sub is a Red Pill sub, not a "how to be a better man" sub. Sexual market value might not be the ONLY measure of a man, but it's the most appropriate measure in a community where the main topic of conversation is sexual strategy in the context of Marriage 2.0
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 05:39 PM
3

I don't think OP truly understands what SMV is, and is more concerned with coining his own new metric, MMV. Everything he puts in the MMV column is actually part of SMV. It's like he is trying to convince himself that those MMV attributes are somehow privileged, or sacrosanct to marriage. SMV is a relative measure. Nobody wants to have sex with someone who has a lower SMV than they do. And SMV itself is a totally internal, self declared value. Brad Pitt has a higher SMV than me. I have a higher …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 05:35 PM
3

Seems like you are the one initiating all of the Feelz conversations, and she is the one getting pissed off at your emotional clinginess... Simple fix for you is STFU. If you "feel" like confronting her, just stop. Don't do it. Instead, internally confront yourself about how you are feeling right then. Whatever you are feeling is ok, you are allowed to have feelings. But you are not allowed to go puking them all over her. Maintaining frame is a about recognising your internal state and calculati…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/15 04:14 PM
2

This. Part of the investigation into what ever happened is going to be "getting both sides of the story". Flat out denial of there even being a story (assuming you truly believe there is no story) is the only way. If "forced" to apologise, something along the lines of: "I'm sorry you felt hurt when you overheard a conversation I was having with my friend " is how you wanna play it. Not: " I'm sorry my words hurt you " Or " I apologise for my insensitive remarks" It's possible to apologise withou…
/r/TheRedPill23/09/15 09:43 AM
1

Firstly, kill the obvious covert contract you've got going on. Forget about hotel sex. Book the adjoining room if it's what you want. No point asking her how she feels about you booking it. Instead of obsessing over the hotel sex, and whether or not she is gonna let you have some, start planning how awesome the trip is gonna be for you. Enjoy the present moment: you've booked a trip to take your family on. You are awesome. Don't engage in any conversation about the trip unless it is to tell her …
/r/askMRP22/09/15 09:49 AM
6

This is a great post. OP does come across as a troll, but the material you put here in reply will be a great help to many. We need more of this kind of material. You've digested the core reading, you've internalised it, and you've given an original synthesis of it. Good job
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/15 05:41 AM
1

The problem is that my daughter will always have a great leader role model bc her mother is just born that way. What about a great masculine role model? That's on her father to provide. If your fiance is a great female role model, that's great. It's on you to show your daughter what a great man looks like, and how he acts. If the SJW's get their way, she'll grow up a victim, being made to constantly feel second best to men. Men and women are different and complement each other.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/15 05:17 AM
4

Troll much?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/15 10:02 AM
1

Hey, Thanks for your post. Welcome! So, first off, once of the deepest red pill truths is that men and women really are different. In a marriage, it is our view generally that the best marriages come about when the man focuses on being a better man, and the woman focuses on being a better woman. Since of the deeper, more specific advice that tends to be given to each gender tends towards helping that individual to stay true to themselves, and their nature as a man/woman. In a nutshell, the conse…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/15 09:01 AM
8

Regardless of what caused her snappiness, you need to know that her reaction to it is her own issue. "maintaining frame" here is all about not getting drawn in to reacting to her reaction. There is a subtle difference between "reacting" and "responding". The difference is mainly down to your frame of mind, and how much conscious control you have over your actions. Reactions tend to be automatic, and therefore "unconscious" to some degree. Choosing to "respond" instead of react is where you wanna…
/r/askMRP18/09/15 11:15 AM
3

I think you are confusing your ideologies here. TRP is a praxeology: an analysis of behaviours with respect to sexual selection between males and females. TRP is what is hard for people to swallow. TRP is what will make the social justice warriors call for your blood. TRP is about why men and women have sex. Covert contracts, non assertiveness, being a whiny ass weak sauce beta bitch, those attributes are not only about TRP. You can improve yourself on all those fronts without ever having heard …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/15 05:49 AM
2

This would be worth posting on /r/askmrp also. Great read. Nice work
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 06:05 PM
1

You can literally never pay yourself back for what you've already squandered. I've found that owning this statement is equivalent to paying yourself back for past debts. You can forgive yourself that debt. You can even go crazy into debt again right after if you want, and you can forgive that too. You are on your own side, right? Be your own best friend instead of your own worst enemy. Recognise your mistakes, own them, and then let them go. They may have sent you down one pathway in life instea…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 11:49 AM
1

Covert contracts with yourself are the equivalent of saying "I'll be happy with myself when conditions X, Y and Z are true". ie. "I can flirt around, and I won't be unhappy because it wont lead to sex." When it inevitably leads to sex, you've violated your Covert contract, and now you will feel shitty, and will probably hamster a few more Covert contracts to cover your ass. I'd you are chasing happiness, you won't find it. As many on here have said before, the changes you are making are never en…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/15 10:12 AM
0

Loving this post. It's amazing how the demeanor of the conversation changes when a woman is around ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/15 04:14 PM
3

I want this relationship to work but: To me, this is the most important thing you need to internalise. The best advice I can give you now could be derived from analysing just these 7 words. "I want": that's great. Get in touch with what you want. It's what you want that counts. You are the only human on the planet who is capable of looking out for you like that. "this relationship to work but": unfortunately, this is where all the monsters hide. Firstly, you absolutely need to recognise the cont…
/r/askMRP15/09/15 01:19 PM
1

I remained detached for the whole exchange, trying to lighten with humor and tease her but she was fully hurt. Your frame is wrong here. You are not trying to lighten the mood, or tease her because of her mood. What you are demonstrating is that to u can weather her storm. She's upset with you for what you did. That's fine, because you did what you wanted to do. Trying to appease her mood is essentially the same as apologising. And you have nothing to apologise for. You remain upbeat and lighthe…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/15 11:25 AM
1

Wait until you hit your SMV peak (age 35 or so) before you play your "c card" (commitment : see posts by /u/IanIronwood) and then go for a girl at or approaching her peak SMV (early 20's).
/r/askMRP15/09/15 06:06 AM
2

Keep reading, keep following the advice on here. All those emotions come from a lack of confidence and respect for yourself. It's OK. Accept the fact that right now, you have no confidence in your abilities and you have no respect for your inner masculine self. You can't hamster away those feelings. Just observe them. Be the silent witness to your own internal state of mind. Don't try to engage with that state of mind. Don't chew over the past, and don't worry about the future. Now I am lost... …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/15 06:02 AM
2

You are underestimating the dread of divorce for her. It's not just money she knows she'll miss, it's having to face up to her post-wall self and recognise that she will have a hard time competing against younger girls. She will know that she won't have the pick of the alphas anymore, and will most likely have to settle for a loser (with money, maybe an accountant). If you've been upping your SMV, and she can see that you are "atttactive", she knows that you'll be out enjoying yourself. That's w…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 02:03 PM
1

Nice FR. Yeah, i think you played this well. You admit that it caught you off guard, and yet you were still able to hold on to yourself and your own plans all the way through. You captained your ship through a storm. Bravo!
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 01:57 PM
1

I'm afraid this state of mind will continue throughout our life together, and she'll continue to only do the things she likes and not improving herself. This sentence alone is enough to show me that you are looking for the wrong answers, or at least you are asking the wrong questions. You talk about her state of mind. You are not responsible for that. You should not be afraid of her state of mind. What you are afraid of is recognising that you have oneitis for this girl, and that unless she chan…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/15 09:42 AM
1

I agree that you need to put a stop to it. Have you read WISNIFG? If not, then hold fire until you internalise it. You will be calling upon all the tricks in that book, and will probably be looking to a "workable compromise". Instead of slamming on the brakes and leaving it at that, work with her to budget for the improvements she wants to make. Set aside a small amount each month which is earmarked for this work. Plan on the calendar when each "phase" can be carried out. Show her that you are a…
/r/askMRP09/09/15 02:08 PM
2

I like it. It's kinda like a pressure reversal: you turn it back onto her to qualify herself for you. She feels like maybe she gave up too much too soon, and maybe she feels a bit used. Thence shit test. She wants you to show her that whatever nasty bedroom shit she got up to is not something that makes her less of a woman. Turning it back onto her by showing her that it's the shit test itself that degraded her, and that she did that all by herself, that's brilliant.
/r/askMRP09/09/15 01:58 PM
1

Well, I'm still fairly green myself, but your post lacks some details that I think might help. I think that the generally accepted red pill truth is that a woman will follow her emotions, and those emotions are dominated by how she is feeling in that given moment. When it comes to "following you", she'll be more than happy to do it if she feels you are worth following. If she feels like you are dragging her around the place without any care for her, then she might feel a bit angry about that. On…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/15 01:51 PM
2

I think it's no harm to tone down your initiations for a while, until you get your head straight. And by straight, I mean that you are mentally prepared before you initiate for the possibility of rejection and have your game plan in place. Outcome Independence. One night a while back, I was brushing my teeth before bed and I planned out a scenario in my head where I basicly got into bed naked beside her, told her she was a bit overdressed for the occasion, and then observed her reaction. I would…
/r/askMRP08/09/15 06:57 PM
2

So five minutes later, she checks the wash and the clothes are moved, but the dryer is not turned on. She comes to me and demands in a parent/child like way that I return to the garage and turn the dryer on. Fuck me, I find these ones so hard to take. She found there was a problem, that required her to raise a single finger to fix it, and instead of using that finger to turn on the dryer, she chooses to go take it up with you and point her finger at you for not doing something. It's like calling…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/15 06:46 PM
-2

Is that how you discipline your wife also? One warning then straight to physical violence? I ask because I find that disciplining my kids is like a training ground for how to deal with my wife. I try not to lose control with them, I try to understand that I am more powerful than them, and also have a better sense of what behaviour is acceptable. I want peace and tranquility at home, with the wife and with the kids. My ideal end state is where I see no practical difference between dealing with a …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/15 05:59 PM
37

I dealt with almost this exact issue a few weeks ago. Nice fancy hotel lunch, very quiet, and we were the only ones with kids there. Extended family there too, and the kids were tired. We were tired also as we had spent the majority of the previous 12 hours on the road. Blah blah : the perfect storm. So, toddler son starts acting up, which starts to encourage some of the other kids who are there, and nobody seems to want to stop them. I'm trying to keep my one calm, but the other kids are now wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/15 05:24 PM
2

Good for you! After my victim puke, and a couple of other posts here and there, I started to feel like I was in "fight club". MRP has been described as a captains council, and what better way to council a captain than to call him out straight on his bullshit. Getting honest, no nonsense feedback on something that you are trying to improve upon is perhaps the greatest thing another human being can do for you. They don't have to: they could just shrug and let you go fuck yourself. They could also …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/15 04:14 PM
1

Coming to this party a bit late, but I read through all your comments on here and while I agree that you are most likely a "natural", I can also see the foundations in your personality for the kind of covert contracts that will build up in your life and start to break you mentally. You are currently successful, which is great. But, your comment about single 40+ year olds not being a good look in corporate America is a good example of one of these covert contracts brewing. It shows me that you ar…
/r/askMRP07/09/15 04:50 AM
2

Boom
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/15 07:50 AM
1

Does anyone have a strategy for dealing with their true feelings of rage when they're being shit tested like this? Yes, it consists of outcome independence, abundance mentality, amused mastery, not giving a fuck, focusing on developing an inner sense of positive masculinity. Aka: married red pill. Welcome. I think you are a bit out of your depth in this sub though, I would hang out in /r/askmrp if I were you. Sounds to me like you are at the very beginning of your unplugging, and /r/marriedredpi…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/15 07:30 AM
1

When you go to the gym to "confront" these dudes, find your aggression and channel it into calm assertiveness. You are the AMOG. Until you make your presence felt, they will believe that they are the AMOG. When dealing with a more physical, stronger, bigger "alpha", the key to disarming them is to change the rules of the interaction so that their "natural" skills and advantages are actually no advantage at all, and in fact are a weakness. You don't care about them. Their presence is inconsequent…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/15 08:41 AM
1

Yeah, I hear you. I'm not so much talking about NoFap per se, it's just that the advice that this poster gives is kinda applicable for the unplugging stage I think
/r/askMRP21/08/15 09:15 PM
1

Seems like those guys are trying to do the MGTOW thing, and some of the advice sounds a lot like what we say in MRP (minus the Sex, of course)
/r/askMRP21/08/15 08:49 PM
2

Rather than wondering out whether she might be receptive, what you wanna be doing is looking for the "hard no". And when you get it, get up and leave, go do something else
/r/askMRP21/08/15 05:24 PM
9

"How much is enough?" "I'll let you know if I'm getting to much" Meanwhile, embrace " monk mode ". Sex, and your sexuality, is what empowers her over you. Most guys start out with wanting more or better sex, to the point that it consumes their mind. Have faith that the good Sex will come hot and heavy (from somewhere...) when your SMV increases. Consider it a side effect of self improvement, rather than the whole point of it. Concentrate on being a masculine man. Being your own man. Going your o…
/r/askMRP21/08/15 08:49 AM
2

I thought this is what you would say. How about re reading it and self - evaluating what you said? I know you can do it
/r/askMRP20/08/15 06:37 PM
1

What kind of "tragedy" are you talking about?
/r/askMRP20/08/15 09:39 AM
3

All the other advice on here so far is solid. But here is another perspective. You know what you want. You want to wait a year. What's your plan for that year? What are the concrete steps that you will take over those 365 days to turn your situation into one where you are ready and willing to knock her up? How are you gonna fill those 6,205 hours (allowing for 7 hours of sleep per night)? A good captain would spend at least one of those hours explaining the general outline of his plan to his fir…
/r/askMRP20/08/15 06:50 AM
1

She definitely does not "hate" surprises. Treat that like a shit test.
/r/askMRP20/08/15 05:32 AM
1

No. You don't need to make it make sense. Nor do you need to justify yourself to me or anyone else on the Internet, or the fucking world for that matter. You are you. You don't need a reason for doing what you do. The key process that's missing I think is introspection. You need to learn to have this internal monologue with yourself, where you self - validate these things. "it's not what you feel that matters, it's how you feel about what you feel ". You are a man. You have natural protective in…
/r/askMRP20/08/15 05:30 AM
1

The gym is a good place to release pent up emotion. It's tough being a MGTOW. You always need to be the strong one, for yourself. In "The Passionate Marriage", schnarch calls it "self soothing"
/r/askMRP19/08/15 10:47 PM
0

I've been upping my "date night" game recently. First thing was to establish the meme of "date night". After we got a babysitter two or three times, I started calling it a "date night". She likes that, plus, giving it a name makes it feel like it's part of some bigger picture, which in years to come, and in hindsight, I will look back on it and say it was, but for now, I'm winging it. Things I've learned : have a plan, with enough details to keep it new and interesting, and with enough contingen…
/r/askMRP19/08/15 10:44 PM
1

Maybe it's TMI, but how does she present down there? I mean, are you embarrassed by her showing off what you "settle" for, or are you feeling that that is your special place (which you sacrificed a lot to get access to) and now she is "giving it away", or, are you feeling that her exposing this will potentially invite the interest of other men? I know you said you had difficulty putting it into words for her, but I'd be surprised if it's not a variant of one of these three. My guess is its eithe…
/r/askMRP19/08/15 10:21 PM
1

Diet and lift, and then hit the nudist beach like some fucking adonis. Pick up that full body tan. What's the point in being on a nudist beach if you are not nude. Especially as an alpha male. Not naked = creepy perv. So, either go and own it, or stay home, and fucking own that too. And, since you got yourself in a bit of a pickle, you are gonna have to own that also.
/r/askMRP19/08/15 10:14 PM
1

We need to do this! And it should be stickied at the top of /r/askmrp.
/r/askMRP19/08/15 10:08 PM
1

I thought so. The important thing about your answer is the bit about how you reflected on your actions leading up to your current situation. As you know, you have complete power to make your own choices. Choose to reflect more and more every day. Brush up your stoicism
/r/askMRP19/08/15 06:12 PM
0

Redecorate the master bedroom as soon as she walks out the door. New colors, new style. Turn it into a bachelors bedroom.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/15 06:01 PM
2

You told her "you felt unconfortable", and you "asked if whether next time she could only go topless". In this regard, you were not in your frame to begin with. I also guess you went to the beach because she wanted to, more than you did. So, you don't need to worry about maintaining frame, because you have not established frame yet. Next time: "no babe, I'm not going to a nudist beach with you". Then STFU. No explanation, no whining. Just STFU. or "sure, the nudist beach was fun, lets go again. …
/r/askMRP19/08/15 05:36 PM
2

Why did YOU go to the beach? Were you naked?
/r/askMRP19/08/15 05:28 PM
6

You need to read "when I say no, I feel guilty". This will give you the conversional took kit to verbally assert yourself in a calm way. Secondly, you say : If I chose this option, what would be the best way without seaming weak and beta? And Any advice for me to re-gain control? It's not about whether you appear weak or beta. It's not about you "regaining control". You need to be the man of the house, and the man you were born to be. Certainly you need to just drop this current issue add quick …
/r/askMRP19/08/15 05:25 PM
6

Stronglifts 5x5 Starting strength And check out /r/ketogains
/r/askMRP19/08/15 03:53 PM
3

https://youtu.be/xF5tWOcc6Is
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/15 03:51 PM
2

Yeah, but remember to be the "oak" in the whole thing. The captain. "honey, you go get your alone timeout if you think you want it, but life goes on. This family does not revolve around you. You are either in or you are out. I will not let this issue affect our son. By the way, you should think about what you are gonna tell him to explain your absence. "
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/15 01:57 PM
2

Don't forget to lurk on /r/askmrp also
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/15 01:44 PM
2

I'm rooting for you man. Don't let me down. I want to read your FR on it as soon as the storm passes. "Main Events" have been described as "the mother of all shit tests". Your post describes precisely this. Perhaps some stoic negative visualisation here? Keep escalating to sex as much, if not more than before. She might actually go and break up the marriage, so make the most out of it while you have it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/15 01:43 PM
2

Yes. This is is a good point. Make some plans for how you will pull this off in practice: work from home, or arrange a child minder or something. Arrange with your wife some window of opportunity to call home by Skype or something so that she can speak to the kid. Let her know that you have a plan for this situation. She likely assumes that the kid would go with her. Instead of outright saying "you will not take the kid", just show her by your actions that you are committed to the family, and ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/15 01:36 PM
2

Sounds like this is your "main event"? This a big-time test of your frame. You seem to have handled it well so far. She's essentially expecting you to stop her. To save her from her own emotional outburst. To validate yourself to her, and to "prove the article wrong". She's read this one article, and its gotten her hamster running. She might leave. She might stay. You are outcome independent. You are not gonna get all butt hurt because she made this threat. Continue to hold frame, act cocky, hol…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/15 10:46 AM
1

You and that Kindle dude, you should hang it on a little chain around your neck! (or download the smartphone app and have "kindle" in your pocket everywhere, makes it possible to squeeze in way more Reading!)
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/15 05:05 AM
1

I don't really like having to make decisions about the kids that the wife just would have taken care of before. I hear you. This is why you need to cultivate some external hobbies, and male relationships. When you are with your family, "it's always on". You are constantly holding frame. You cannot relax your guard even for a second.
/r/askMRP18/08/15 07:30 AM
1

Aside from the marriage 2.0 costs of termination, the other reason I want to work on my marriage is because it is hard. I sometimes think it would be "easy" to be single, and in some ways, I don't want to take the easy option. I put "easy" in scare quotes because realistically, it wouldn't be "easy" right now. I don't (yet) have women throwing themselves at me, but I do perceive a lot of IOI's and eye fucking. As I continue through my MAP, I expect that it really would be easy to pick up chicks …
/r/askMRP17/08/15 05:03 AM
1

would I be better off deflecting her questions (which would make her suspicious that something weird is going on and make things worse) The whole point here is to keep her guessing. Your unpredictability is what she craves. You are the hero in your wifes favourite romance novel. The hero is aloof. The hero does what he wants. She wants to "save" the hero. Letting her "save" you is what got you into this mess ;) when you say it would "make things worse", I'm assuming you mean something about her …
/r/askMRP16/08/15 07:55 AM
2

I'm sure you'll get better advice from others on here, but here's my take. Let's assume that this was a fuck up. Let's say that everything you did here was "wrong". Just hypothetically speaking. So, the thing is: "so fucking what". As you swallow the pill, you realise all of the things and all of the years you spent doing those things that were actually wrong. Completely wrong. You are addressing those things now. In the end, one more wrong thing is unlikely gonna make things any worse for you (…
/r/askMRP16/08/15 12:33 AM
1

Wow, thanks for that. You went full hamster! I love it! I am a computer guy, which explains why I wanted this. You've done a great job, but fuck me if any of what you wrote makes "logical" sense. It's perfect!
/r/askMRP14/08/15 04:51 AM
3

Thanks, I appreciate the slap in the face :)
/r/askMRP13/08/15 04:45 PM
1

Thanks. Maybe I wasn't clear in my comment above, but I am really not walking on eggshells. I am making decisions for myself, because they make me happy. And simultaneously, I am aware of how she is internalising these changes. That awareness does not factor into my choice of action in the moment, but as part of my stoic reflection, I am "negatively visualising" the impending shit storm. I'm not afraid of it, or her, per se, but I'd like to be mentally prepared for what might happen, so that in …
/r/askMRP13/08/15 03:27 PM
2

So, are you saying that the hamsters input is emotion, and its output is "logic"? If you try to feed the hamster logic, the logic will go through an emotional filter first, then the hamster gets to work producing a" logical" output? So, don't talk to the hamster. Perform for it? Create the right "feelz" and let the hamster rationalise that? When you hear some hamster logic, view it as a rationalisation of feelz? I've been changing my behaviour, and I suspect that it's making her feel unloved. Sh…
/r/askMRP13/08/15 12:54 PM
4

You say you feel angry. That's OK, that's even good maybe. The anger you feel might currently be directed towards her. "if only she....", or "Why does she always...". Turn that anger inwards, towards yourself. You being angry with her won't affect her as much as it affects you. You being angry with yourself gives you a feedback loop. You recognise your anger, reflect on your actions and choices that made you feel angry, modify your behaviour, and then repeat. This is the essence of inner game. Y…
/r/askMRP13/08/15 07:26 AM
2

Or, if you want to go a ketogenic route, your macro breakdown would be something like 150g protein (to stop your body breaking down your existing muscle mass for essential proteins), 25g carbs, and then make up the rest of your calories from healthy fats (polyunsaturated, monounsaturated, saturated, in that order of preference). Eating with an excess of calories will result in weight gain, for sure, but if you wanna stay ripped, or lean, then you gotta pay attention to your body chemistry. Going…
/r/askMRP13/08/15 07:21 AM
1

Perhaps she knows you'll say no, so she gets a chance to act super keen, "insatiable", knowing that nothing will come of it, and giving her a tick in the "showing desire" box. Period sex is messy. But it's still sex. Sure, you might need to prepare a bit (do it on a towel, or a plastic sheet, or wear a condom), and sure, there will be some cleanup, but apart from that, it's no different than sex any other time. What about anal? You'll put your dick into literal shit, but not some blood?
/r/askMRP13/08/15 06:13 AM
4

hard time getting started This moment, right now, is the first moment of the rest of your life. The past is irrelevant. You are in complete command of this moment, and what you do with it will determine the inputs into the next moment, at which point this one becomes irrelevant and all that matters is the one you are in at that time. If you have a hard time "getting started" it's because you havn't yet made the decision to start. You are adding roadblocks to your path to prevent yourself from "d…
/r/askMRP13/08/15 06:03 AM
1

I also use YNAB. Its great. I also like the "YNAB methodology". So, you've "given every dollar a job", nothing is left, everything has a planned category of expenditure. When she wants an extra 10$, why not open YNAB for her and ask her to help you find that 10$ somewhere by reducing one or more of the categories? She sees it as "just 10$, and as you know, that 10$ needs to come from somewhere. Once she starts to realise that she's gonna be sacrificing on something else just to have the shower c…
/r/askMRP13/08/15 05:30 AM
1

If you haven't read "The Game" by Neil Strauss, then you might be missing some of the PUA lingo. It's a fun book to read, and its not like an instruction manual at all.
/r/askMRP13/08/15 05:23 AM
1

Wow. Sobering indeed.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 07:53 PM
3

As a wise man once told me: that's OK, we all had one Now clean up your shit and get a fucking grip. If you go ahead with your meeting, imagine doing it covered in your own puke. That's what she'll see. Nothing you could say will hide the puke, she'll smell it a mile off.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 06:08 PM
1

However, Visitors from /r/deadbedrooms are not likely to be coming here looking for anything other than a panacea for their sex life
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 04:50 PM
1

:D Point taken!
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 04:42 PM
6

Problem is, this can last for a couple weeks... maybe more. Why are you letting her frame your marriage like this for weeks at a time? You are the captain, the leader. If this goes on for a few weeks, it's because you allow it. It's because you want it. Why not think about an alternative you would prefer. Like showing her how to stop this "tactic" by not recognising it when she pulls it. It takes two to tango. So stop tangoing, and just continue like nothings wrong. Amused mastery. You don't car…
/r/askMRP12/08/15 02:12 PM
3

And by "diet" I mean /r/ketogains
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 01:03 PM
-3

To me, the entry level "test" question for MRP should be something like : "how much sex are you getting?", or, "how often do you fuck your wife?" Anything less than "daily", "whenever I God damn feel like it", "she can't keep her hands off me" means GTFO. MRP should be focused on dudes who are at that level, because they are actually living a RP lifestyle in the context of a marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 12:09 PM
2

The thing with people coming off /r/deadbedrooms is that they've been living as a victim for a long time. Their initial pain will be accepting that they made themselves into victims, and that their first step is to stop that shit. /r/marriedredpill is not for victims.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 09:02 AM
2

Great idea
/r/askMRP12/08/15 05:25 AM
1

Good idea, I enjoy posting on here, and enjoy reading the sometimes blunt replies, "iron sharpens iron" but, I do think that giving a reader a quick way to see I am noob as fuck would at least let the reader decide whether to bother reading what I posted. On the minus side, I guess this would be a lot of extra mod work
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 05:18 AM
29

The crash course you are looking for is basicly someone to force feed you TRP. Can't be done: we can only show you the door, you need to walk through it. Here's a little primer: Your wife is not "intimate" with you because she is not attracted to you. you cannot negotiate this attraction, or her desire for you. Words will not work, and will make your situation worse. women and men are different women and men have different mating strategies women LOVE sex, with the right guy The sidebar will sho…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/15 05:11 AM
1

Yes, perhaps I could have paid more attention to the tag I used, and I also understand that you think it's all fluff, but I stand by my position that there is some useful insight in here for people in the early stages of unplugging. I've read a lot of the "2 week warrior" posts on here recently where guys are jumping straight in at the deep end. MRP is the long game, and a new game for many. Learning to play a new game is tricky.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/15 12:38 PM
2

Yes, that's it. Mr. BP knows that pissing off the wife leads to a fight. Mr. RP knows that when a captain makes choices, not everyone is going to like them all of the time, but his mission is not to make decisions that people will like, but to make the decisions that need to be made.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/15 10:48 AM
1

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback. You are right, the post would be better off with some examples of putting the theory into practice. I think that in the unplugging phase (where I'm at) the insight for me is that the way my wife views these encounters still "feels" like it's my problem, since I spent so long operating with those rules of engagement. The BP to MRP transition pain is caused by these vestigial "feels". Recognising they exist, while not letting them control me is the best way I can…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/15 10:43 AM
1

She said 'that's great, I have wanted that for a long time.' Pay attention to how her words frame your journey. She now "approves", and can potentially hamster that all of her behaviour up to this point has "paid off" since she is getting what she wanted. I suspect that the statement itself is a hamster rationalisation also. That's what she needs to tell herself to be OK with what you are doing. So, at some point, when you are "better enough", prepare for a big shit test, where she tries to put …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/15 07:16 AM
0

For about 2 weeks recently, during my initial unplugging, I was wondering if I was a sex addict or something. Then I fucked that thought right out of my head. I am not a victim. I think that if she is trying to put "sex addiction" on you, that's a great sign. Classic hamster. Worst thing you could do here is validate something like that, and admit to being "broken" or a victim.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/15 07:03 AM
1

Shave it for her yourself?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/15 06:59 AM
1

Another thing about A/A style responses is that your tone and mannerisms when you deliver them are key. It's a playful, joking delivery, rather than a stone cold, John Wayne staredown delivered in monotone. Hamster fuel. "he's probably joking" - > "what if he's not" - > "he is hot, he might be trying to throw me off the scent" - > "I need to lock this shit down"
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/15 06:15 PM
1

I was also thinking comfort test, but it has an air of unreasonableness to it. It sounds a bit shitty to me. Maybe a response like : "well, BJ's for starters, then we can move on through my list" Or "not just any BJ's, but BJ's from you". I wouldn't change the subject from BJ's to lattes. Also, don't forget that you really do want a BJ, so when she recognises that you want them, you should definitely confirm her suspicion, rather than deflect. Blend in a little alpha and beta at the same time: "…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/15 05:55 PM
0

"you must be feeling good after all your sex needs are being met." " who said all my sex needs were being met " Or better: " I don't have any sex needs, just sex wants, and I always get what I want"
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/15 05:38 PM
3

pretty OI when it comes to reacting vs. I feel like I shouldn't have to have sex with her if she's not feeling intimate, or just not into it. And besides every guy wants a BJ once in awhile. Is this normal? Wanting more, or better Sex is the starting point in the journey, but getting Sex is not the destination of the journey. You had 18 months of "no sex", then you read some stuff, and you got some sex. And now you are back to the beginning, pining after something you want from her that she won'…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/15 05:33 PM
2

/r/ketogains Keto is all about fat loss with lean mass preservation. There is lots to read and learn but the gist is you convert your body chemistry to be fat burning instead of sugar burning by eliminating (essentially) all carbs, eating "just enough protein but no more", and making up the remaining calories with healthy fats. It's actually a pretty sustainable diet once you learn to ignore your carb addictions.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/15 03:49 PM
6

You say you are 2 weeks in. Keep that in mind. You are 2 weeks into a journey, and you have access to the hitchhikers guide to that journey. Your wife is not reading the guide. At worst, she hasnt registered any meaningful long term change in you. At best, she notices something and considers it a "phase". Slow down. This is the long game. What's the rush? You should be focusing only on yourself. If she barks am order at you, stay calm. As you said, if it needed to be done anyway, then just fucki…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/15 05:59 AM
1

He even goes so far as to describe "growing" or "maintaining frame" as things that marriage actually causes. Calls marriage a "growth engine" or something like that. I've been meaning to read it again in a RP context.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/15 04:43 PM
1

Apart from everything that other posters have said, I would advise you to take advantage of this opportunity to "reset" your relationship. Man up etc. Consider it a clean slate of sorts. Your new life as a husband starts the day you get married. YMMV. People say that marriage doesn't change you. Others say that if it doesn't change you you're not doing it right. The MRP starting point for most people on here is after a few years (decades) of marriage. You are in a really good place to establish …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/15 12:05 PM
1

The problem with the book I see, based totally on your description, is that like WISNIFG it completely misses the different gender roles and dynamics in play and assumes that husbands and wives are motivated in the same way. They are not. Yes, I agree with you on this to a degree. The book does not distinguish between the different underlying motivations between the marriage partners. In many ways, I think thats actually its strength. The book is about a "Passionate Marriage". The take home mess…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/15 06:41 AM
1

Th issue is my wife does not see anything wrong with our situation, so she is not really buying into her changing, she just wants me to And thats fine, in so far as she is entitled to want whatever she wants. The question is, at what cost? In the Passionate Marriage approach, especially during the therapy transcriptions, you can see a clear message being delivered to both sides: Figure out what you want for yourself Figure out how that impacts the other person, and decide if the consequences are…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/15 06:00 AM
1

Yes, I agree that as an approach to repairing a marriage, it would require both partners to buy in. However, at many points throughout, he makes it clear that it is not his goal to fix a marriage. It is his goal to facilitate a rationally selfish discussion by both parties, and to show people that their marriage requires two individuals, not a pair of emotional siamese twins. If one side is not bought in, then you are not gonna have much success with this approach on its own, but for me, finding…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/15 03:53 PM
1

I like the "Rock" vs "oak" distinction. Rock is for shit tests, oak is for comfort tests. As Athol says, shit tests are distinguished by their "unreasonableness". Either an unreasonable demand, or an unreasonable tone of voice. Not every confrontation with your wife is a shit test. If you treat a comfort test like a shit test, you will fail badly. On the plus side, the hamster will escalate, and there'll be more tests, so you havnt really lost much ground. She wants to know what you are reading,…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/07/15 08:42 AM
1

This is only a good sign in so far as she's trying to repair the damage. She knows that Sex is your master control lever. You need to recognise that power dynamic. Don't let yourself be dragged back to your BP days. Thank her for the photos, even complement her on how good they look. Her hamster tells her that once you have some makeup Sex, all will be well again. Reflect on how you would normally react in this situation. I think if I was in your situation, I would use the opportunity to add som…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/15 05:33 AM
3

Haha. Yes I can imagine. All those things sound like they could be fun though (well, not the kid wandering off bit, that's a bit scary). I think you made the mistake of thinking that you were gonna actually play some golf :) This weekend, we had some visitors staying. An adult woman and a 6 year old. On Sunday, my wife and the guest had raging hangovers. And no fucking way was I gonna take care of 3 brats plus two hung over "teenagers". I was in the bathroom thinking how my day was gonna be a di…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/15 03:48 PM
1

Were you concerned about how other users of the golf course were gonna react to you? Or your reputation as a golfer? Or their adherence to the rules? I'm just trying to read between the lines to understand what was going on with your frame. Remember, captains make mistakes. That's the nature of the job. If a decision needs to be made by the captain, then the ship lives with the consequences. Or they can GTFO. I think you should think about "the captain you want to be". It will take the rest of y…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/15 01:32 PM
2

Thinking is good. Over thinking would be if you let yourself get so paralysed in your analysis that you could not decide on an action. And your inaction is actually an action in that sense. I see clear evidence of her hamster at work here. You are making changes, she is comfort testing you. Know that your actions created the situation for that question to arise. If you want another go at answering it, create another situation for it to come up.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/15 01:29 PM
1

Exactly, and thus, one of the core mindsets I am "programming" into my sons.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/15 01:20 PM
1

Don't apologise. Don't discuss it in detail. Don't act all butt hurt cos she attacked you. Don't give her the cold shoulder. Don't be all passive aggressive. Basicly, don't do any of the things that she would expect you to do in this situation. Other commenters have pointed out that this relationship will most likely not work out well for you, and they have a point. Your current frame is very messed up. There is nothing that you can say to her to change this. Acta non verba. STFU. Firstly, you n…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/15 11:06 AM
1

:D So, it feels like I showed up at fight club, jumped in the ring, and got one or two gentle slaps from the big boys, and picked up a few new scars from it. It is liberating. I had pretty much moved past all of the Feelz that I puked out, but a purge was obviously still needed. Fuck that old shit. Fuck the Feelz. Fuck feeling like I need to have my hand held by someone who can show me "the way". I'm going my own way now. I am planning another post. Another round in the ring at fight club. One t…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/15 07:07 AM
1

Lol. Brevity, or STFU, is a big issue for me. I very often get explosive attacks of verbal diarrhoea :) I need to internalise STFU. Less is more. Acta non verba. As /u/bluepillprofessor said: lay off the extra strength Ritalin :) I think I made the only sensible edit I could, in the given circumstances. I stumbled into the chamber of the council of captains and puked all over the place. Cleaning up after myself is the responsible thing to do. Also, seeing the puke out there, and having it pointe…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/15 06:56 AM
1

Understood. I work in a job where ego is the downfall of many, so I absolutely get what you mean. Thanks for enduring (mostly) to the end.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/15 06:49 AM
1

You don't "need" more sex from her. And you don't tell her that verbally either. The hamster will tell her that. You've stepped out before also, so the hamster will have supporting facts. Forget about Sex for now. Focus on being the best man you can be. Lift, dress well, flirt with waitresses, then flirt even more with your wife. Feed the hamster. Acta non verba. The other commenters are right, keep your dread game passive, below level 5. The memory of your past cheating will be enough for now.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/15 06:22 AM
1

That was my Blue(pill) screen of death. A core dump after the segmentation fault caused by the red pill.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/15 06:43 AM
1

Thanks. I never heard of a "victim puke" before, but I think that is exactly what this was. And, I imagine I'll leave this account to be my vestigial plugged in persona. I needed to puke this out so that I could move on. After I wrote it, I was tempted not to post it. I'll pay more attention to that feeling next time. POOK is next on my list. I guess the verbosity of the post made it difficult for a reader, so I do appreciate you taking the time to read it and reply. I guess the old me might hav…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/15 06:39 AM
1

Lol
/r/MarriedRedPill26/07/15 06:29 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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