Tired of being called a "rapist" for supporting r/mensrights

oneiorosgrip · 2012-11-21T23:22:44+00:00

You're not alone. I think everyone active in the MRM is tired of that particular example of feminist irrationality.

I get the same thing from readers who haven't delved far enough into my comments or blogging to know I'm female. And when they do learn I'm female, I often go from getting accused of supporting rape to being accused of being brainwashed, or being a gender traitor, as if right and wrong are irrelevant and my own sex should be my only concern.

They do that because they can't argue their cause - because facts and reason don't back them up, they have to use irrational accusations to attempt to stifle dissent instead. In other words, yes, that is the only argument they have.

aaarrrggh · 2012-11-22T01:11:31+00:00

I had the exact same experience. Literally, the exact same.

I ended up blocking maybe 10 or so feminists on twitter. I hate blocking people like that, but they were throwing so much abuse at me that I literally couldn't use the site anymore. All for simply daring to suggest that a man accused of rape deserves a fair trial based on evidence. That was literally my only assertion. This makes me a "rape apologist".

What an absolute bastard I am.

2012-11-21T22:51:31+00:00

It doesn't end.

typhonblue · 2012-11-21T23:53:05+00:00

Do feminists have no other argument?

My short answer would be not really. The average feminist has a small grab bag of knee jerk emotional responses to anything they don't like.

Every moronic feminist response to an MRM issue posted with facts and links pushes people away from feminism as an equality group. If it happens enough people will start to see that the majority of feminism is just a bunch of sexist shaming tactics against men.

Something needs to happen within feminism to deal with the widespread acceptance of sexism and hate speech. Eventually enough sunlight will get them to start looking at the horrid ideals they allow to exist and thrive in the name of feminism.

That's not /MR though and not our problem. Proving the truth keeps bringing people here and fostering discussion. It's working slowly but steadily.

alphabetpal · 2012-11-22T00:08:33+00:00

For variety, they'll also call you a child molester and a wife beater.

niggazinspace · 2012-11-22T02:50:45+00:00

Even if they don't literally call a man a rapist, they can still tar him with the brush of supporting rape culture.

That's just a way of saying, "well, you haven't been convicted of putting your penis inside a woman who didn't want it, so I can't call you an actual rapist, but what you said made me feel bad so I am going to accuse you of encouraging men to put their penises in women who don't want it".

Basically, the lite version of you're a rapist.

CptSeaCow · 2012-11-21T22:56:46+00:00

Heh, welcome to the club. Show them the article of James Grissom having to serve 7 years on no evidence no eyewitnesses based on the accusation of a woman who has falsely accused 9 different times. See if they whistle a different tune. Though I do always suggest tact if possible. The quote does go "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar", and when trying to get people to join our cause we should make our best effort to not scare others off.

MeEvilBob · 2012-11-22T02:57:02+00:00

You have cities where there's like 40 homeless shelters that are WOMEN'S ONLY, when they try to open up one for men, the fucking feminists go apeshit saying that it's discrimination that anyone would want to open a men's shelter in a city with 40+ women's only shelters.

You have the same thing with women's centers, where women can go to talk about women's issues, any time someone tries to open a center of the came concept except but for men, feminists will come out in droves saying that any men who are concerned with issues that affect men more than issues that only affect women are sexist.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with, well, most of society? If a man has consensual sex with a woman and later she decides she didn't enjoy it enough and makes up a claim that he raped her, it really doesn't matter what the evidence says, all that matters is that a woman is saying that a man did something to her against her will, most juries will jump all over convicting the guy.

Even if a guy isn't convicted of rape but is only accused of it, that's enough for news stations to plaster your face all over the news saying you're a sex offender.

Feminists seem to think that women's issues are more important than men's issues. Women have menstration, congratulations, you have to deal with something 12 times a year from when you're in middle school until you have gray hair, if you can't figure out a way to not make that everyone else's problem, then admit it, you can't control your own life. More importantly, you make up HALF THE FUCKING POPULATION, so stop acting like having a vagina is a rare disease.

If you see a bulge in my pants, that doesn't mean I want to rape someone, that means I have an erection, which all men get every 90 minutes whether we're attracted to a nearby woman or not. I have as much control over it as women have over their menstrual cycles, wait, I take that back since women have pills they can take to avoid periods, but there's not a thing in the world I can do to avoid an erection, and honestly I'm not ashamed of my body doing what it naturally does. I figure if I have to put up with my girlfriend being a downright cold-hearted bitch for a week and then have her excuse all of her cruelty by saying "oh, I was on my period, I didn't mean any of that", then I don't see why a woman seeing a bulge in my pants is such a huge fucking issue.

I honestly don't think there are any feminists who are still fighting for equality, it seems like it's all about female supremacy. I can't honestly say I know for a fact that the wage gap has closed, for all I know it's still wide open. One thing I have noticed at all of the jobs I've ever worked is that they don't discriminate against women. The problem is the "a woman can do anything a man can do but better". This is true to an extent.

I think most of the wage gap can be described by this example. I'm a man, I weigh about 180 pounds (US Imperial system) and I can lift about 100 pounds. There are men with less strength than me who can't lift 100 pounds. At the same time there are men twice and ever four times as big as me that can lift closer to 10 times what I can lift. The people who can do more heavy lifting than I can get paid more because they do more work, that's just the way it is. The problem is that when women get this whole "I can do anything better than you" attitude, they often forget the difference in weight ratio. I work with some women that can lift twice what I can and can do far more work than I can physically handle, and they deserve the extra money they make. The problem is where say a 100 pound woman gets the idea that she can do the same amount of heavy work as a 300 pound woman, there's kind of a skew there.

The job I do in the winter is at a ski area, we have to be outside all day with 30+mph winds driving snow and rain, and temperatures well below freezing. Women don't typically last that long on this job, but we typically have two types of women. There's the far more rare type that endures the conditions and enjoy the job and outworks many of the men, then there's the type who just assumes they can do anything better than men and find that working in harsh conditions is too much and that it's somehow the fault of men and the patriarchy that she is being expected to do the job she applied to do. Some of our best workers are women, but most women just can't stand being there, but have been taught to take no accountability for their own actions, so every time they make a mistake it's automatically someone else's fault, I can't fucking stand working with people like that.

Again, I'm not saying that all women blame men for every aspect of life they don't enjoy, but it really does seem that there's a lot more women that think they can get out of responsibilities by flirting than men. Where I work though, if you I'm your supervisor, period issues are met with "why is it my problem" and everything else comes down to "you applied for this job and you spend your interview trying to convince me that you are the perfect candidate for this job, so are you or not?". I get shit from all the other managers for this, but I expect ALL of my employees to pull their equal share of the work, and any woman who thinks they can get out of work by being cute and flirting is going to find themselves doing the more pain in the ass style work that I save for people who piss me off.

TL;DR: I'm sick of this shit too, and being a supervisor at one of my jobs means that anyone who tries to get out of doing their share of the work by being cute and flirty will find themselves doing harder work.

Is it even possible to be equal? I always thought we were equal but Feminists seem to think otherwise, so which is it in the long run? Are we equal, or is one gender better than the other?

rightsbot · 2012-11-21T22:44:18+00:00

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loose-dendrite · 2012-11-22T00:21:39+00:00

Those people get their information from people who are either stupid or liars. They're ignorant tools.

There isn't a cure for them except to teach them how to actually be right. Teaching someone wisdom has some pitfalls including them only sticking with it long enough to make themselves even bigger fools. That's why you get people spouting shit about ad hominem attacks that aren't or using statistics horrendously wrong.

Electroverted · 2012-11-22T01:05:16+00:00

You were probably on Jezebel. Grats!

CptSeaCow · 2012-11-22T00:03:05+00:00

I've just stopped talking about the men's right's movement around everyone I know. I got sick of people telling me its stupid and is meant to suppress women.

410LaxMD · 2012-11-22T01:57:18+00:00

I literally have never been considered a rapist...ever. I don't get how it's so easy for you guys to be called rapists... I hear this story over and over again, and I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it just has never happened to me, and baffles me a tad.

2012-11-22T03:22:47+00:00

I think they just use that hyperbole (rapist) in an attempt to cause as much damage as possible. Also, it could be that the word misogyny is starting to lose its effect on people. It may not be true for everyone, but I can say that after posting in men's rights for quite a while now, the word has lost much of its impact on me after seeing it being used so often and for just about everything. In most instances in which it's used, I find that it has has certain whiny and redundant connotations.

PandaSandwich · 2012-11-22T00:12:39+00:00

Don't you get it? by supporting equal rights, you literally are RAPING BABIES, you sick fuck.

ErasmusMRA · 2012-11-22T05:32:05+00:00

On twitter and tumblr feminists are fucking crazy. I'd stay away.

giegerwasright · 2012-11-22T16:47:09+00:00

Feminists don't have arguments. They have feels.

AeneaLamia · 2012-11-22T00:11:57+00:00

Be brave. Be strong. Always do what is right, and don't let extremists dictate your life.

ThePigman · 2012-11-22T01:37:28+00:00

You know, if you are in Australia or the UK you can probably sue these people. In Aus, you could probably even get them criminally charged. As for how to respond, you can't. These people are just lying turds and they know it.

2012-11-22T03:11:26+00:00

“If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”

Replace 'State' with 'Misandrist'

notarapist72 · 2012-11-22T03:26:04+00:00

^ YOU SEE MY USER NAME, THATS WHY I HAVE THIS FUCKING NAME, CAUSE I TOO HAVE BEEN CALLED A RAPIST FOR RANDOM BULLSHIT.

throwaway31478932750 · 2012-11-21T23:02:02+00:00

There is no conflict between being a feminist and being a supporter of mens rights. I'm a man (both gender and sex, i.e. a cis-man) who argues for mens rights issues (for instance violence, not being accepted as victims and schools not working for boys) while at the same time advocating for womens issues (for instance being non-default gender, being excluded from power positions and the right to abortions and birth control). There doesnt have to be a conflict between them, as long as you don't think any gender should be of better position in society than any other.

Don't believe people who tell you different, because they must be blinded.

^edit: some issues with English being my second language.

skintwo · 2012-11-22T03:23:41+00:00

The only thing that bothers me about any of this is the use of the word "feminist" like it is something bad. I'm a feminist. I think men and women are equal. Thus, i also support men's rights and see many places where men are treated poorly vs. women (see: DIVORCE). I'm a woman, I'm a feminist, and I support men's rights. Saying that being male has several benefits over being female is true; it does not negate that there are several areas in which they suffer negative inequalities. These two philosophies are not contradictory.

VirSaturnA · 2012-11-22T06:45:19+00:00

Words change over time. Once upon a time rape referred to a violent act of forcibly penetrating an unwilling victim sexually. These days it just means you have a penis.

chewtality · 2012-11-22T01:28:05+00:00

In the US everyone is guilty until proven innocent. That's just how the system works and it's complete bullshit.

2012-11-22T03:09:21+00:00

Your post made me realize that

ultimamax · 2012-11-22T04:27:25+00:00

I think you guys are being unfair. Feminism shouldn't be the stark opponent of the MRM. They should be working together.

tyciol · 2012-11-22T04:57:16+00:00

I stated that it should be on the victim to prove that rape occurred

As I turn over this idea in my mind: how DO you 'prove' that rape occured? I'm kinda understanding the difficulties that can exist in this and why it can inspire so much frustration from victims. Even to the point of wanting to switch up the justice system.

Not that such frustration is justifying, but I guess it's conceptual empathy or something. Like there is proving 'sex' or 'sex with a lot of bumping' or 'sex with battle' but ultimately it leads to people making an assumption about the nature of consent between a pair of people based on guesses about what evidence indicates.

Are there any other crimes as tricky as this one to judge?

actanonverba8 · 2012-11-22T04:57:36+00:00

Feminists kill puppies and kittens and masturbate with their entrails. That's me acting like a feminist. Only difference is I'm targeting feminists.

Puck_marin · 2012-11-22T05:18:20+00:00

I had a couple of one night stands get pissed at me for never calling them again

While a dick move, that certainly doesn't warrant being called a rapist.

I wouldn't take the twitterverse seriously though, it's full of nothing but morons.

Falkner09 · 2012-11-22T05:55:16+00:00

what I cannot understand is the number of people who don't seem to realize the MR community is about a lot more than just concerns about rape laws. like any movement, there are many of us who simply dont focus that much on some of the causes others in the movement support. I mean, there's a whole list of separate causes on the sidebar here, yet EVERYONE gets smeared as a rapist. it's nuts.

ShetlandJames · 2012-11-22T07:53:04+00:00

I find that if you talk about the rights of men as opposed to the 'mens rights movement' you get a better response. For example, just chatting with the other two ladies who work in my office on Breast Cancer Day, they were saying that a lot more focus should be put on testicular cancer and that b-cancer gets far too much support in comparison to others (one of my colleague's daughter successful recovered from brain cancer)

phukka · 2012-11-22T15:34:13+00:00

My mother and one of our mutual friends (her co-worker, and a friend of mine) both consider me a woman hater because I advocate for mens rights on facebook.

I think that's just neat. The fact that I can see that men are getting the shaft in a lot of social climates and don't agree with it make me a woman hater.

To think my mom wants me to have kids. Yea, good luck, bitch.

typhonblue · 2012-11-22T19:06:45+00:00

Do feminists have no other argument?

No. And they call you a rapist for the same reason a bully punches you in the head.

Do you ask a bully, "what's your rational? where's the logic? do you have an argument?"

No. A bully has her fists and that's what gives her "legitimacy".

Puck_marin · 2012-11-23T00:44:22+00:00

Things hit a all time humorous high today when I found out that one of the people who has been calling me a rapist is actually a sex worker.

That's right, A whore is trying to argue men's rights with me.

When I pointed out this fact the argument turned into "There's nothing wrong with being a whore"

BlackKnighter · 2012-11-21T23:11:47+00:00

It was probably more the joke than your stance on false rape.

People hate players who disappear. They will project all of their own negative experiences onto a guy that puts his hand up and says he's done a 'pump and dump'. For women its because they don't like being abandoned and for white knights its because they 1; want to 'other' you so women will pick them over the bad men and 2; they are jealous that they don't have the same level of success with women.

It's just the typical argument by emotion. They disapprove of you so they will smear your character (which you've given them ammo to do). Its not about your logical points. Its about that in their eyes you are a bad person, so that gives them the right to dismiss anything you say.

theskepticalidealist · 2012-11-21T23:34:17+00:00

You have to understand that feminists will knee jerk with all those insults no matter what you say, so long as you are criticising them they will say you're a misogynist because clearly they are right so anyone that disagrees must hate women. So you must defend rape, if you disagree with them about rape. see? In RadfemHub's comments policy here - http://radicalhub.com/comments-policy/ it even describes men as "necrophiliac". In the latest protest the women interviewed said the men like Warren Farrell were defending rape and incest and violence against children. They will say whatever words or insults that pop into their brains that sounds emotive. Dont be surprised. All it proves is their position is rooted in emotion.

samarye · 2012-11-22T03:40:53+00:00

I stated that it should be on the victim to prove that rape occurred because in this country you are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty.

Just another note about the US justice system: it's prosecutors, not victims/accusers/alleged victims (of any crime), who have the onus of proving guilt in the criminal justice system.

TerriChris · 2012-11-22T04:48:39+00:00

Name calling is common tactic when facts and reason oppose their position that men are mad and women are good.

ScottFree37 · 2012-11-22T04:54:57+00:00

It's all about using strong negative terms to stifle opposition. The same used to happen, with "Nazi" being thrown around about anyone criticising Israel

Puck_marin · 2012-11-22T05:38:51+00:00

Reminds me of whenever I say anything that doesn't agree with the popular societal consensus that children are precious and this justifies them having rights above and beyond everyone else around them while also shifting responsibility for parents actions off them and onto society as a whole.

Apparently that makes me a child murderer. Literally. "If you do not stop for children getting off the bus up the street (despite it not being a law in your country) then you're murdering children to get to work a few seconds earlier."

stemgang · 2012-11-22T15:57:47+00:00

It's ok...they're just discrediting themselves.

The more they do it, the better it is, because it demonstrates their irrationality and the foundationlessness of their ideology: feminism.

callthebankshot · 2012-11-22T18:16:07+00:00

The argument seems to parallel the "think of the children" trope. Replace children with women and use the same moral outrage.

Redneckistan · 2012-11-22T02:30:04+00:00

Most people don't like to think too much, so they just react to stereotypes. If you say "there should be white history month" they won't think "well, maybe this guy has a point" they'll just dump you into their racist bin. Since most people aren't familiar with the concept of mens rights, if they hear you say something about rape that doesn't sound like the regular feminist line, an alarm goes off in their head and they just label you an asshole immediately even if you have a good point or whatever. Human beings think in shortcuts, which is what causes stereotypes, which is what causes racism and the type of thing OP is referring to.

Xenoith · 2012-11-22T03:16:49+00:00

Honestly, MRA is too scared of retaliation. They love shaming us and they love harassing us, they run us out of areas that aren't 100% made for us and we should start being more vocal to treat them the same.

Dathadorne · 2012-11-22T05:11:10+00:00

I'm having a hard time finding data that shows that, overall, men are "guilty until proven innocent."

OP, are you familiar with any literature on this claim you're making? I'd like to read up.

rape_is_bad_mkay · 2012-11-22T02:19:43+00:00

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

omniamutantir · 2012-11-22T03:27:41+00:00

Please don't lump feminists together. That's a generalization all the same as the way that whoever has been targeting you is generalizing MRA's. Feminism is not inherently bad nor inherently opposed to the MRM. It wasn't until radical second-wave feminism that some feminists began taking it too far and lumping men together and labeling them all as chauvinistic pigs or whatever. But it was only some feminists. Not all feminists believe that way, and anyone that has legitimately studied all the waves of feminism should be able to understand that.

tl;dr Generalizations are bad and usually incorrect. Please don't fall victim to the same trap that they are.

Puck_marin · 2012-11-22T06:17:39+00:00

As an FYI, https://twitter.com/PUREIDEOLOGY seems to be posting a lot of what I've said here on her twitter:

"this fucking guy lmao http://t.co/oueScYU5

and

http://t.co/vuOPrUYu

occupythekitchen · 2012-11-22T09:22:18+00:00

Rapist and misogynistic. People don't seem to get that men lack opportunity to succeed anywhere other than in sports and the military. We have this double think towards the genders which seems to be pushed by both women and men and the stereotype that angers me most is, "if a man doesn't succeed it is his fault" when in reality it isn't. It is the fault of a system that has disfranchised men at every turn and emasculated us.

NyoZa · 2012-11-22T10:31:24+00:00

I was just in a thread http://www.reddit.com/r/InternetAMA/comments/13m0wn/ama_request_the_guy_who_sold_halo_4_to_xzibit/ made by someone called "notarapist" lol.

Geohump · 2012-11-22T03:25:02+00:00

You're not crazy. In fact its gotten so bad I've decided I'll never have consensual sex with women again because its just too dangerous.

Instead I plan to kidnap and rape on purpose just so I can engineer the circumstances so my identity will never be known. That will be much safer for me.

edit - for the down voters - this is satire folks, its supposed to have an edge. :)

Puck_marin · 2012-11-22T15:11:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Octagonecologyst · 2012-11-22T10:14:07+00:00

Go cry in a corner, Nancy.

Title	Tired of being called a "rapist" for supporting r/mensrights
Author	Puck_marin
Upvotes	545
Comments	198
Date	November 21, 2012 10:43 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/13la0h/tired_of_being_called_a_rapist_for_supporting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/tired-of-being-called-a-rapist-for-supporting.1008644 https://theredarchive.com/post/1008644

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