Purple penis eater prefers picturesque man to pommel her pristine “booty”…. No pudgy pretenders

polishknightusa · 2021-09-01T01:33:40+00:00

She looks like that, yet wants a Brad Pitt type of guy with a six pack.

Honey, no guy on his A Game is going to be going for you. The market is wide open for guys like him. He could have any girl he wants. Not a land whale who doesn't have her shit together.

kfree313 · 2021-09-01T01:37:18+00:00

She’s definitely on drugs . Big time

bruh_what_the_f · 2021-09-01T01:33:24+00:00

Bruh, what the fuck.

lurkerhasarisen · 2021-09-01T01:49:05+00:00

Good grief I hate this crap. After watching the final C-17 lift off from the same airport I flew into at the start of the war (in the middle of the night banking like a mo-fo to avoid ground fire), then hearing about how we "won" from the guy who ordered the loss, I already feel like I've been punched in the gut.

I was planning to kill some elves or Vikings or dragons or something but I thought I'd see what was happening here on Reddit first, and this gigantic tub of unjustified confidence was at the very top of my page... yet another woman whose SMV is so low that she is - as they used to say - unbeddable.

Yet there she is... bold as brass, demanding a man with movie-star looks and six-pack abs, claiming that she is of such high value that she deserves him. As for me... nobody is going to mistake me for Brad Pitt, but I have six-pack abs, and I know what it takes to get them and keep them, so when I see a woman with fat rolls spilling out all around my first reaction is the same one I have when I see a train wreck, and my second reaction is to look away in disgust.

"If u want the best u gotta be the best."

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

If she hadn't taken the picture in a mirror I would ask if she owns a mirror. How is it possible for a woman to look like that, announce that she has at least one kid, and actually believe that she is in the top 1% of desirability among women?

Ha1rBall · 2021-09-01T01:32:31+00:00

I neva have sex on the first date.

Sure you don't.

cryptotelemetry · 2021-09-01T01:48:32+00:00

That's Grimace.

Machomuk89 · 2021-09-01T01:50:06+00:00

"Never has sex on first date"

Biiiiiig doubt.

khillik · 2021-09-01T01:55:23+00:00

Full-time yummy mummy never got rid of that huge ass tummy. Now we see why she's on a dating app, nobody's approaching that thing in the streets.

EndTimesRadio · 2021-09-01T02:35:22+00:00

Women are told a lot of conflicting information.

They’re told that men think about sex every six seconds. They are then never shown any attention.

Then confused, they go to men’s spaces.

“Just approach!” Shout the men of reddit to ‘women,’ thinking of their cute, BMI<27 crushes.

It doesn’t work.

Then they look at what cute girls do that ‘lands them hot boyfriends.’

Except frequently it’s that they land hot guys in spite of their profiles. Not because of it. So that’s how you get this.

They refuse to accept consequences for their actions. Boys are held accountable. Women largely aren’t.

NBA_MSG · 2021-09-01T01:33:40+00:00

Wonder if she learned that at the school of life

Martellus732 · 2021-09-01T01:50:15+00:00

More rolls than Thanksgiving dinner.

Disciple_Of_Cheesus · 2021-09-01T01:52:27+00:00

"If u want the best u gotta be the best."

Wow. She has lost her everloving fucking mind. No semblance of reality is left. Utterly delusional...

redditradishman · 2021-09-01T01:41:50+00:00

When any woman gets validation up the ass she probably thinks she's the female equivalent.

ess2019 · 2021-09-01T02:13:26+00:00

tell this fat fucking cow to look in the mirror

Gaiinahat · 2021-09-01T01:57:31+00:00

Sixpak of what, Colt 45? She must be having a Shallow Hal moment: when she looks in the mirror she sees is a skinny Gwenyth Paltrow, but what the rest of us see...

ItsJustMeMaggie · 2021-09-01T04:44:05+00:00

I can’t believe these women exist. Not just shallow, but delusional as hell. But what do I know? Maybe she’s considered one of the hotter women in her particular area.

InevitableOwl1 · 2021-09-01T01:41:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Harry_Teak · 2021-09-01T01:51:05+00:00

I see Grimace. Where are the rest of the madcap McDonaldland crew?

I do have to say that "if you want the best you gotta be the best" is excellent advice. Advice she needs to learn, love, and live or she's going to be relegated to a life of sucking dick for her milkshakes.

Texan2116 · 2021-09-01T01:55:11+00:00

She means a 6 pack of pudding.

me_at_myhouse · 2021-09-01T02:02:37+00:00

Textbook case of body dysmorphia.

And a clinical example of mental derangement.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-09-01T02:56:44+00:00

I saw her drinking beer, eating peanuts by the bar

I was pretty desperate and I knew she had a car

She said her name was Debby, she was a friend of Jenny Craig's

She had boobs like watermelons and breath like rotten eggs

I know you're hungry, I can see it in your eyes

'Cause you're lookin' at me like I'm a side of fries

I wanna take your chubby ass back to my place

Squirt my baby gravy all over your face, yeah

(Woah, woah) Thar she blows

Fat girl, she's everything I wanted and more

Fat girl, she can't fit through the door

(Woah, woah) Thar she blows

I wanna prove to you my feelings are for real

So I'm gonna buy you a million Happy Meals, yeah

I want a chunk o' that body, if you only let me in

I wanna sink my summer sausage into that double chin yeah!

(Woah, woah) Thar she blows

Fat girl is ridin' my jock again

Fat girl is snackin' on my cock again

Ouch, don't bite

My friends keep telling me I must be going blind

'Cause you've got cottage cheese all over your behind, yeah

Even though some people point and laugh at us

You can kick their ass because you're bigger than a bus!

Fat girl, I can't believe you're eating again

Fat girl, where does your neck begin?

(Woah, woah) Thar she blows

Fat girl, put my hot dog into your bun

Fat girl, you're really, really tons of fun!

(Woah, woah) Thar she blows

You're my fat, fat girl, oh

You know I really love you

'Cause you're my fat, fat girl, oh

Come here baby, where you goin'?

Haha, you're a cow!

Come here baby, hey

I love you

I can't live without you

Come here, hey! [whistle]

Come here!

It's like a jungle in my apartment, dude!

All these hot bitches

And that one fat girl

Thank you, Steel Panther for the perfect song!!!

DeputyDak · 2021-09-01T05:31:19+00:00

If she doesn't want ugly guys, why is there one in her picture?

SquirtBurt · 2021-09-01T01:41:00+00:00

Looks like she’s 35.

Mission-Document5257 · 2021-09-01T01:57:47+00:00

"If you want the best" - is she trying to set up a friend?

Southerndude62 · 2021-09-01T02:12:44+00:00

Delusional Fat land whale needs a Brad Pitt lookalike. And no ugly guys too. Fat princess "deserves" a six-pack!

The entitlement of western woman is limitless.

KingWhoCared86 · 2021-09-01T01:51:49+00:00

I feel sick now

Hungry73 · 2021-09-01T01:56:17+00:00

Nice stretch marks

coloradocaniac · 2021-09-01T02:48:20+00:00

Ursula, thank you for ruining purple for me forever.

Vibe_Tribe_Inc · 2021-09-01T03:41:16+00:00

Brooooo nooooo! I bought this set for my partner and love her in it. Shit! Better drink this image out of my mind. Hahaha

yummyspringwater11 · 2021-09-01T05:16:09+00:00

Muffin Top, Orangutan Tits. Kids, on Unemployment, will have sex on first date. yikes

Ulfberht75 · 2021-09-01T06:00:02+00:00

Captain Ahab said it best: "From hell's heart I stab at thee;
for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned whale."

Top-Comedian6204 · 2021-09-01T01:41:21+00:00

What a hypocrite

Jake-Orion · 2021-09-01T02:56:09+00:00

Mods,

Can I PLEASE PLEASE use the report as vulgar button?

Not directed at you OP, but Jesus Christ! This makes me want to gouge my eyes out!

krissfedora · 2021-09-01T02:06:04+00:00

That a man who truly loves her would ignore her flaws (body, past choices, et al) while she would keep rejecting men for the same reasons.

See the fallacy?

Overkillengine · 2021-09-01T04:38:50+00:00

Lingerie and spandex should require a license. 🤢

kitkatkickass · 2021-09-01T06:47:43+00:00

She's doesn't want any ugly guys because she's the ugly guy.

AnalogueWaves · 2021-09-01T08:30:42+00:00

Imagine being this deluded.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2021-09-01T15:13:59+00:00

Imagine being a chubby chaser and looking like Brad Pitt. You'd be in heaven in the West.

BeepBeepWhistle · 2021-09-01T01:38:17+00:00

Hqhahahahhahahahahahhahaa amazing, spectacular.. bra-vo hahahahahaha

MelkorHimself · 2021-09-01T02:40:04+00:00

Iff u aint got a sixpack u aint getting this booty

A six-pack of what? Boulevard Tank 7?

Bob_and_Virginia · 2021-09-01T03:57:27+00:00

From all the things she say, you might think they were coming from an actual hot woman. And then you see her picture.....

Edited to add: Oh, just noticed she's only 21 too. 21 and already like that! Unbelievable!

IndifferentSkeptic · 2021-09-01T06:40:45+00:00

I am literally jealous of my gay friends.

TatersMog · 2021-09-01T09:04:42+00:00

Thunder, thunder, thunder thunder thighs!

pfresh331 · 2021-09-01T11:53:15+00:00

Shouldn't have opened this while eating breakfast

sshevie · 2021-09-01T02:24:39+00:00

I'm not a fan of front butt anyway.

sharedisaster · 2021-09-01T03:52:10+00:00

Brad Pitt from ‘Kalifornia’ maybe.

Meth heads can have a six pack, technically.

lollerPop1 · 2021-09-01T04:50:51+00:00

Is this a parody account or WAATGM ?

TurboEdition · 2021-09-01T09:47:09+00:00

Pls, tell me it's a troll.

NickTesla2018 · 2021-09-01T14:19:14+00:00

Pancake titties and a gunt. Yummy? More like yuck.

tanmomandlamet · 2021-09-01T23:54:05+00:00

That's some crazy entitlement to want a Brad Pitt lookalike with a six pack when this girl looks like she hasn't done one sit up in her entire life.

molded_bread · 2021-09-01T03:56:56+00:00

Lmao

taavidude · 2021-09-01T06:30:51+00:00

With a body like that, you can't have absurd standards like that.

Riddick_B · 2021-09-01T09:15:14+00:00

These can’t be real?! Just how messed up has the dating dynamics become in my last 15 years? I’m so glad I’m out of it all!

HeftyAdministration8 · 2021-09-01T09:53:48+00:00

If any proof was needed that young women lead a charmed life, this is it. Even THIS woman can get banged by so many reasonably attractive men that she's sincerely trying to filter for Brad Pitt.

BluetoothMcGee · 2021-09-01T12:21:12+00:00

Damn, missed opportunity to use "posterior" instead of booty.

Alturius · 2021-09-01T13:47:54+00:00

Is this posted under the correct category? Should it this be posted under 'Humour' instead?

I nearly choked on my tea laughing when I read her 'requirements' after seeing her photo.

totalnerve438 · 2021-09-01T14:47:26+00:00

Never drink the entire FDS kool aid.

CodyTheGodOfAnxiety · 2021-09-01T14:49:42+00:00

Brad Pitt vs the devourer of worlds

Anon2021C · 2021-09-01T16:49:31+00:00

I found my next baby mama boys! Time to be irresponsible, plant my seed in this whale, and run off like the rest of them.

DefiantFlatworm4833 · 2021-09-01T17:15:32+00:00

That’s the problem with modern women these days! They get validation from guys and think they are automatically a 10! GTFO!

PS2Errol · 2021-09-01T17:26:59+00:00

Hideously overweight. At 21. How does that even happen?

Old_snowboarder · 2021-09-01T19:04:55+00:00

'Yummy'? Jeez, a fat single mother - it couldn't get much worse could it?

Accomplished-Pay1725 · 2021-09-01T21:18:29+00:00

lmfao her standards are THROUGH THE ROOF. Who does she think she is? A world famous model?

carolinadaltina · 2021-09-02T17:16:54+00:00

The true pandemic is social media making all of these 1’s suddenly think that they are 10’s

human-potato_hybrid · 2021-09-01T02:33:28+00:00

Breaking news: 2.5/10 appearance is now "the best". Bro... 😂😂

LVL50JustThisGuy · 2021-09-01T02:58:43+00:00

ijustthrewupalittle.

tikanderoga · 2021-09-01T02:59:45+00:00

The twins sag like a 40yo, rolls like it’s dinner time and delusional like the Joker.
If you want the best, look for the next chick. Can’t be much worse than this … whatever this is.

NobuQueen_ · 2021-09-01T03:49:48+00:00

Thank god I don’t have a six pack

perc10 · 2021-09-01T04:20:01+00:00

Is there any chance that these accounts are fake or does this butter golem have zero wherewithal?

I-am-the-lul · 2021-09-01T07:38:25+00:00

Glad I didn't eat anything before seeing this profile... yeet!

meerita · 2021-09-01T08:59:02+00:00

She is never having sex in the first date with beta guys, with Chad she has sex before the date even.

rb5775 · 2021-09-01T09:05:03+00:00

Well, one has to admire the confidence.

The-truth-hurts1 · 2021-09-01T09:33:58+00:00

At least she doesn’t want you to bring a whole carton

ChadTheImpailer · 2021-09-01T12:45:46+00:00

I don't she even looks at mirrors.

FreedomFromIgnorance · 2021-09-01T18:30:36+00:00

If that’s “the best”, I don’t want the best.

newyorkloser45 · 2021-09-01T21:23:32+00:00

Why is this sociopathic Ted Bundy level narcissism inherent in pretty much every women on dating apps? Is every parent in the 21st century just all incompetent at raising their daughter to have some semblance of humility and moral fiber? Shit like this makes me misanthropic as hell, society's fucked.

Liostesis · 2021-09-02T10:38:43+00:00

Chad isn't going to waste his time on a land whale. Neither is Antonio.

GoodApollo506 · 2021-09-01T02:07:01+00:00

Pristine Jelly Rolls

Divine-Nemesis · 2021-09-01T02:11:15+00:00

You’d have to at least have a 30 pack with no tolerance to even consider that, and even then the goggles would not be strong enough. That is not a pretty sight.

car23975 · 2021-09-01T02:50:51+00:00

Are you guys ready to man up already? Man up. Lol /$

No_Organization5188 · 2021-09-01T04:39:07+00:00

There’s absolutely no way she can move while wearing that. If she sneezes that lingerie is ripping off of her like a boat tarp in a hurricane.

kingcheezit · 2021-09-01T06:27:16+00:00

Those 6 pack abs unfortunately are not whats required to pay your food bill fatty.

You need to be thinking more Christian Bale in The Machinist than Brad Pitt in, well, anything.

‘Cause that dude is going to have to work like a mother fucker to keep you in take aways.

Delifier · 2021-09-01T07:09:28+00:00

I dont meet the criteria, and I feel fine with that.

s1500 · 2021-09-01T13:10:50+00:00

Wow does her bio fluctuate between "won't fuck you" and "will fuck you

2021-09-01T13:23:43+00:00

The answer to her problem is in her own bio, "If u want the best u gotta be the best"

mustangfrank · 2021-09-01T23:00:21+00:00

She: I never have sex on the first date, but Chads no problem.

dain978 · 2021-09-02T23:27:06+00:00

I would need more than a six pack to even consider having sex with her.

Hy3w_mong0u5 · 2021-09-04T12:09:24+00:00

Without or without a sixpack, I'd rather commit suicide than see that hog naked.

roads_diverge · 2021-09-04T23:27:05+00:00

I'm only laughing because of the commonness of this. Hell, I see this more often than I'd care to think of.

Paltry_Poetaster · 2021-09-05T10:44:54+00:00

Ha ha she really has an ego. I actually laughed at that pic, it looks like something from a comedy show

Natriumzyanid · 2021-09-01T02:20:07+00:00

VADE RETRO SATANIS!!!!!

bats000 · 2021-09-01T11:29:01+00:00

nice editorial

bryonwart · 2021-09-01T13:11:38+00:00

Before she had the kid she was thin and hot...you can see it in her face...she hasn't realized yet she is no longer thin and hot.

Slygore · 2021-09-01T17:48:10+00:00

There’s always someone here crunching the numbers, but I never see anything on the proverbial 6 pack. That’s not something you get even from normal working out right? Like you need to be focused and working on it a couple hours a day for that, and it disappears first correct? How many guys really have that?

velesxrxe · 2021-09-04T09:29:48+00:00

Nice use of alliteration and homophones in the title!

judalation1 · 2021-09-05T08:43:08+00:00

she will get pumped and dumped till she gets knocked up... then it will be no time for games and " her kids are her top priority"

Roblox838 · 2021-09-06T12:44:37+00:00

Oh, great alliteration, mate!

Outside_Upstairs_742 · 2021-09-10T07:00:25+00:00

Seem to remember the last time I saw grimmas on the McDonald's playground but I could almost assure you it was back in the eighties

Itburns12345 · 2021-09-10T10:48:14+00:00

Il bet the 2nd line is utterly false .............non 6 pack guys have had sex with her 1st date

Purple penis eater prefers picturesque man to pommel her pristine “booty”…. No pudgy pretenders

Comments

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Title	Purple penis eater prefers picturesque man to pommel her pristine “booty”…. No pudgy pretenders
Author	skint_back
Upvotes	588
Comments	232
Date	September 1, 2021 1:26 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/pfjihh/purple_penis_eater_prefers_picturesque_man_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/purple-penis-eater-prefers-picturesque-man-to.1066493 https://theredarchive.com/post/1066493