Have You Ever Experience Sexual Misconduct From Women?

parahacker · 2021-09-15T21:07:18+00:00

Yes. Practically professionally, when I worked bars and clubs. And also plenty of it when I was just out and about.

Catcalled, groped, flashed, bitten (a girl bit me as a come-on and acted like a cat, can't make this up), a lot more.

I know two men who were outright raped.

I was evicted once for rejecting a come-on by my landlady. Yes, my rent was paid.

So... lots and lots of experience of sexual misconduct from women.

Oncefa2 · 2021-09-15T20:32:22+00:00

In highschool a girl asked for money and then offered to give me a blowjob or be my girlfriend for said money when I didn't give it to her.
In college I was catcalled by a group of older women we called townies. They had a reputation for going after younger college men.
I've been groped in clubs I don't know how many times. It's not always unwelcome because sometimes it was the girl I was dancing with hinting she wanted more. But even at the time I think I understood the double standard because it was always "hands off" for me until she started touching me first. Like is it really such a sin to move your hands lower to gauge her reaction, and back off if she says no? Of course I've had random "drunk girls" I wasn't interested in grab me as well and I'm supposed to take that as a complement also.
I've been coerced and felt like I've had to have sex even when I didn't want to. For example with an ex girlfriend I was trying to get away from, and didn't want to get pregnant because I didn't want her to have an excuse to come back into my life.

I would consider several of these things (minus the last one) to be normal experiences and not something I'm ready to grab a pitchfork over and start yelling about the matriarchy or toxic women or anything.

The world is imperfect and you have to communicate your desires somehow. We're not wired to find a verbal "want to have coitus" question attractive, and people don't want to be overt because they like having plausible deniability when they get turned down. "Oops I didn't realize my hand was there" is a great way for both people to walk away without feeling awkward (I'm not saying to grab a handful or anything... use tact, but again, girls get to do this, and literally grab a handful and wink at you and assume it means you'll have sex later).

Feminists who act like every sexual advance is some kind of sin of masculinity are just as prude as these conservative religious zealots. So while there are lines that shouldn't be crossed, and even though I also think women are "just as bad as men are", I'm not trying to stoop to their level if that makes sense. I don't know if that's the right way to approach this or not it's just kind of how I feel about it.

Carkudo · 2021-09-15T21:43:22+00:00

As an ugly guy, I generally have the opposite problem - women treating something I do as a sexual advance when it is not. It may intuitively seem fundamentally different at first but it really isn't - and it gets really damn tiring getting sexualized like that and the getting creepshamed for it.

LoveTheGiraffe · 2021-09-15T22:35:27+00:00

I lost my virginity that way. A girl I met on the internet went home to me and forced herself on me. I didn't even have my first kiss back then. She tried to make me believe I wanted it. I was shaking for an hour after the incident in the fetal position while she told me how much she liked being able to "make my body react that way".

I tried to forget about it, but when it resurfaced and I tried to get therapy, the female therapist laughed in my face saying men can't get raped. I felt horrible, blamed myself and was made to believe that I should be grateful for what happened to me. It took me years to get over this, but I think I've finally pretty much recovered.

Funniest part is the girl who raped me was an outspoken feminist and (as a good female therapist later helped me realize) a misandrist.

I'm fine with talking about it, I accepted a long time ago that it's a part of my story and I'm not one to hide who I am. So if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

raw_bro · 2021-09-15T22:15:35+00:00

One year ago i tried to help my school counselor turn on her AC so i climbed on a chair to get there and she slapped my ass, i was shocked, and when i came home i told this to my parents, and they said that because i'm autistic she could say in court that i imagined it or was stupid and they would accept it, and then she'll make my life in school miserable, i told them that if i were a woman the court would've believed me and they agreed.

LogosHobo · 2021-09-15T21:37:34+00:00

Yes. I had a woman "stealth" me and another woman pretended to be pregnant with my child, and then used the threat of running off to raise my child with her abusive ex in order to blackmail me into having sex with her.

34T_y3r_v3ggi3s · 2021-09-15T21:25:32+00:00

It didn't really bother me, but when I was 17 I had an older female bartender working at the restaurant I bussed at. She was around 30 and she grabbed my ass when I wasn't looking. That being said, she was also my first kiss when I was 18. It is something to go by when you've been romantically and sexually frustrated your whole life.

However, looking back, I realize that its the principle of sexual misconduct in many cases. Restaurants are also very toxic places to work on top of that.

I also witnessed a woman flat out grope this guy right in front of everyone. I don't know how he felt about it, but if that had been done to me I would have felt very uncomfortable if it was done so suddenly and in front of so many people, no matter how attractive she was.

Imaginary-Sense3733 · 2021-09-15T21:42:46+00:00

I've had a few sexual comments from (mostly older) female customers at my last job. Mostly I wasn't too bothered by it, the main problem it caused me was that I got worried my supervisors would throw a fit if I was seen talking to them too long.

What was extremely distressing was when it was done by underage women. I worked in a convenience store in a pretty shitty neighbourhood and it wasn't uncommon for older teenagers to come into the shop fairly shitfaced and feeling like a laugh, and flirting or generally messing with the shop staff was a popular hobby; ranging from mild stuff like asking if you thought they were pretty ranging to graphically describing sexual encounters to you. At the start I was nowhere near socially adept enough to navigate these kinds of things, it was an incredibly tense situation for a lot of reasons that I'm sure everyone here can imagine and I found these encounters quite intimidating and unpleasant.

(EDIT) There was also an undercurrent of racially motivated harassment that I witnessed, although it didn't happen to me. One of my colleagues was a very friendly and upbeat lad originally from Sri Lanka and quite often young women (usually drunk or high) would take advantage of his good nature and do a kind of "fake flirting" routine that's difficult to describe concisely in one already long post but which I felt was incredibly nasty.

peanutbutterjams · 2021-09-15T21:45:06+00:00

I had work-friend who had his dick grabbed under the table by a female colleague at a work conference.

I encouraged him to speak up about it on multiple occasions, but he refused to say anything about it and brushed it off.

He was a very highly-sexed man so I think he rather enjoyed it so "didn't feel right" about reporting it. Getting a sexual thrill from it doesn't matter because people who do that kind of thing are often repeat offenders and it takes reporting them to get to stop.

I wonder how many times sexual misconduct that's initiated by a woman happens at work. It would rarely, if ever, get reported.

[Edit: I was thinking purely in the workplace but I was at a concert and some woman yelled at me to pull out my dick. When I refused, she laughed and started speculated loudly about my size. Luckily the music started before too long.

I've also been flashed a lot. It seems that when a guy flashes his dick at a woman, she's a victim, but if a woman flashes her tits at a guy, he's lucky. I'm trying to find the truth somewhere in that.

(....I'm honestly coming to think that public nudity would solve a lot of sexual problems in the world.)

Lastly, while I wouldn't consider it sexual misconduct, I've had a lot of women just reach out and touch my hair. I mean, it is fabulous, but since 'that's a thing' (usually race-based) I'm mentioning it.

Sometimes I didn't mind it, sometimes it really annoyed me. So I would have preferred people to ask, I guess.

I also see women feel free to touch men's arms and chest without asking, particularly at clubs and bars. I don't see how feeling up a guy's chest is that different from a butt squeeze (not that I advocate for either) so it'd be interesting to go to some clubs and count instances of each. If only academia wasn't ideologically trapped and could get on this.

Also rubbing their ass against a guy's dick. That's pretty intimate and always non-consensual.

Gosh, what a list. It's all so prevalent! Good thing we have patriarchy to blame it all on men rather than acknowledge that non-verbal communication is part of our sexual language and that sexual language is not appropriate at a workplace.

Itasenalm · 2021-09-15T22:18:02+00:00

In high school, I had a girl at my house. This was a few months after her friends falsely accused me of raping one of them. I tried to be forgiving because I knew they were unlovable degenerates, and for years I was the one person in the whole town who showed them kindness. But time after time, these manipulative and abusive assholes made me regret it. Anyway, the one who I thought was the least vicious of them all was at my house. She demanded sex, and I very clearly declined, but she persisted. I could have stopped her if I wasn’t scared of what would happen to me. She was half my size, so I’m sure you can imagine how quickly the tall impoverished Jew boy would have been obliterated if a physically “inferior” girl came out of his house with bruises. So I just had to let it happen, and then be paranoid for 9 months. What a fucking way to lose your virginity.

Another girl from that group got stumbling-drunk and grabbed my crotch and kissed me (both without consent), then when I drove her home (we were at a mutual friend’s house and I was the DD), she insisted on stopping at a convenience store. I got so many hostile looks for being a man with a drunk woman. Not exactly what you asked for with that second part, but I think it’s relevant.

My fiancée’s aunt kept grabbing my ass while we were on a family camping trip. Everyone else in the family (aside from my fiancée) brushed it off as “she doesn’t mean it, she’s just drunk”. Oh, the shitstorm I would face if I was a drunk 50 year old who was repeatedly grabbing a 19 year old girl’s ass, then saying “forget about it, I was drunk”.

When I had my first job at 18, three months in, there was a new hire. A mid-30’s woman who was supposed to be some kind of pseudo-manager I guess. Every fucking day with her, it was constant sex jokes, and rambling about her time as a stripper, and saying things like “if I met your young ass before I met my husband”.

When I was 4, I was at my grandmother’s house. She was elderly and had pretty severe Alzheimer’s, so there was a live-in nanny. Some woman who was somewhere between the ages of 40 and 60. My younger sister and I came back to that house from the pool, and we were both sent to the shower and then forcibly touched by the nanny. You don’t need to scrub our genitals for that long, especially when we prove we can already do it just fine ourselves.

When I was 5, I went to a children’s swim club at the local pool. In the locker room, all the children (an even mix of about a dozen boys and girls) were made to stand in a line against the wall and strip in front of the female instructor and her ~15 year old female trainee, who was also changing in front of the children (and hugging us while both her and we were nude). This was the way we all changed into our swimsuits for the month or two we went there.

no_user_ID_found · 2021-09-16T04:22:00+00:00

Yes, I’ve been harassed by woman a lot more than I ever harassed a woman (never). People laugh at you when you tell.

novdelta307 · 2021-09-15T20:35:19+00:00

Just about every man I know, myself included, has at least 1 story of female sexual misconduct against themselves. That being said, how much it bothers then varies quite a bit.

thereslcjg2000 · 2021-09-15T21:49:54+00:00

Nothing too serious, though I’ve definitely had comments from women that would be viewed as sexual harassment by many if the sexes were reversed.

DarthVeigar_ · 2021-09-15T22:26:19+00:00

I was groped on public transport by a woman when I was 15. And she said "age is nothing but a number" when I told her my age.

Detective_Connan9 · 2021-09-16T06:16:12+00:00

Some girls groped my ass a few months back Infront of my friends and all of them laughed it off fucking hell that was bad

MathematicianNo4277 · 2021-09-16T07:54:20+00:00

If you've been in a gay bar or club when a group of straight girls come to use it as a theme bar (bachelorette party maybe), then you have been groped and fondled.

The narrative that "men have higher sex drives" is instantaneously disproved as soon as a group of women feel it's safe to act like grabby horndogs with no boundaries.

When I was young and sexually inexperienced although I hated it I didn't want to look like a prude, so I let it happen. But one day this girl was really laying into it, groping , grinding, I could feel her sweat on my face. So I got in the game, started groping her (fighting myself to do it, I was not feeling good) and whispered in her ear "You know, I'm bisexual". She jumped like a spider bit her. Suddenly the power dynamic was reversed, I was not her little play thing anymore. This whole moment grossed me out so much. It's probably been 15 years but I still hate the memory.

I know a few guys who have been full on raped though, so I'm not complaining.

2717192619192 · 2021-09-16T07:17:38+00:00

When I was 16 years old, I had been living in the city for a few months after being kicked out and had recently started working at a salad restaurant in downtown San Francisco. I had just gotten off my shift and rolled a joint to smoke with a couple of coworkers (I was pretty new to weed at this point, maybe had been smoking daily for a month) and it was a lot stronger than I realized. My mind felt like it melted with that weed, lol — and it wasn’t laced, it was just some good shit I’d gotten from a pot shop.

But as me and them were walking towards Civic Center, and I was really stoned and just walking alongside them clueless, the female coworker suddenly said “Wait, let me see” and squeezed my ass pretty tightly. I was very caught off guard and didn’t know how to react, and she said she did it to “see how much of an ass I had”. I didn’t really say anything because I was high and confused, but I knew enough that it was wrong and I should leave. So after another minute or two of walking, I excused myself and left them. Even then, I was pretty immediately aware of the double standard nature of it and that I was sexually assaulted.

Every time I saw her at work after that, I tried to pretend that I was ok with her and that I didn’t feel weird about what happened. I wondered if I should try to tell my manager, but I felt I’d waited too long to do so. I did try to tell the other male coworker who was there with me something along the lines of “You know, she actually groped me, that’s not very cool of her…” and he basically told me it wasn’t a big deal and to just shrug it off because I was overreacting.

Aaaaaidan · 2021-09-16T12:31:47+00:00

Didn't happen to me, but a friend of mine was raped. He posted about it on Facebook when the metoo hashtag first started trending. He was told that, as a man, he should be listening, not talking.

Bara-enthusiast · 2021-09-17T09:33:29+00:00

Was raped at 9 years old by an adult woman

Was roofied twice into sex by strangers

Was blackmailed with threats of being outed once by a girl I know

Since then I only date men

ninja_deli · 2021-09-16T16:50:47+00:00

I've been groped by women I didn't really know before. The idea that women are immune to this behavior is the biggest double standard I've ever heard. I know many dudes that have experienced this too.

Langland88 · 2021-09-17T00:53:37+00:00

I don't know if this counts but I have been to parties and in some bars where there are a lot of people and I've encountered women who would throw themselves onto me. At first I didn't mind it until their attention went elsewhere. Anyways I recall many times where I was grabbed below the belt because they apparently could see it in my jeans and wanted to see if it was real. Yes it was real but still inappropriate nonetheless. I couldn't really say or do much about it because in the United States, it's commonly believed men are supposed to enjoy that attention. Also a lot of these women are heavily drunk and under the influence of many drugs so it's hard to hold them accountable a lot of times despite that we do just that for men who sexually harass women regardless of how drunk and under the influence of drugs, they are. Outside of that, I was a virgin up until I was 25 and I worked in a few toxic environments where not only did the men make fun of me for having not done the deed but many women joined in on it too. I'm not sure if that sexual harassment but in a way it was still misconduct from women. I don't work in these environments anymore and where I work now has been relatively better in terms of issues with sexual harassment, which next to nonexistent and often nipped in the bud. I'm not sure if all my stories count but I've had my share of misconduct from women.

funkynotorious · 2021-09-16T13:49:52+00:00

I am an openly gay man. And I have known some girls who thought that they can convert me.

molbionerd · 2021-09-16T18:03:53+00:00

I can't count the number of times that a woman has thought it was ok to grab my ass or junk without any sort of consent on my part.

BreakThings99 · 2021-09-17T13:37:21+00:00

I got raped by my ex-gif. She was also younger than me.

Party_Solid_2207 · 2021-09-19T11:55:23+00:00

Groped and catcalled when working in a bar or out in town (many times).

Was feeling bad after a night out once. Girlfriend was horny. I said to stop. She would not stop.

Was really drunk one night and a girl who I had turned down a number of times (and was sober) took me to hers and fucked me. Seen this little doozy loads with other blokes and often the girlfriends of the girl enable it and try and interfere if you try and shut it down.

Had sex with female teacher a year out of school (17). Was a bit of a hero for this for a while. I knew what I was doing but wouldn’t look good if roles were reversed.

I’m not traumatized by these events, they were either annoying, embarrassing or sometimes a little flattering. In only one of those situations was I really vulnerable and I blame myself for being drunk.

Otherwise I probably could have stopped things if I felt I needed to but the point is the behavior is not much different from male behavior that is really bad. It’s just the gals get a pass, I think because as I mentioned. I could have stopped it and they often can’t in bad situations.

Strikes001 · 2021-09-19T14:09:01+00:00

Groped when I worked at Lowes by a older customer. We were putting this heavy item in her vehicle(barbecue I think) and next thing I know I feel something touching my rear. I figured it was just her purse as she was helping put the item in her vehicle, but when I looked all I see is her free hand open claw like, just centimeters from my rear making it clear she was poking my ass. I was honestly in shock, especially since she wasn't alone, as she had an older fella with her that I assumed was her husband but he wasn't looking when it happened, and I didn't think that type of thing happened to guys at that time, let alone ever happen to me.

Didn't bother telling management about it because I didn't think they would care, especially after I made a off-hand comment about it to my co-worker who didn't seem to care either.

Anarcho_Humanist · 2021-09-21T20:34:41+00:00

Yes.

It actually burnt a lot of my trust in feminists watching some of them cover for a sexual predator.

lingdingwhoopy · 2021-09-23T14:45:32+00:00

Yes. Multiple times in my life. I experienced it first-hand and have seen it happen to others many, many times.

I've discussed in detail on other subs an experience I had at work that still bothers me to this day, over a decade later of a much older woman (I was 20, she was in her 60s) making me her pet for a good hour while I was at work. She would make comments about how "strong" I was, about taking me home with her, and she touched me on my arms and back multiple times. And what makes it worse is my work buddy ignored me discomfort and told me I should have went for it as she "wasn't too bad looking for a old chick."

I've had my genitals kicked and groped in high school. One girl particularly made a game of it and would see how many boys she could do it to in a day.

One girl in my journalism class liked to flirt with the shy, nerdy kid just to make him as uncomfortable as possible and to show off for her friends so they could giggle about it at the other end of the room.

One time while I was going to the mall of all places with two of my male friends, a car of girls was driving by and they honked at us screaming "Heeeeyyyy booooys! Heeeeeyyyy BOOOOOYS! Woooo!"

What's sad is at the time we thought it was flattering as hell. We were young and a car full of girls were giving us attention!? HELL YES! Behavior like that is seen as fun and innocent and playful from women. But if a car full of men did that? It already takes on a totally different connotation switching the genders. I'm still trying to not engage in the double standard because a part me gut reacts and thinks "well, it's NOT as bad because it was girls" and I know that's bullshit. Catcalling is catcalling. And just because some people may not mind it, doesn't make it ok to do to total strangers - no matter how innocuous the comments are.

Around Christmas time during my senior year in high school I was out Christmas shopping with my mom when we got rear-ended in our tiny Dodge Neon by a fucking hummer.

We whiplashed pretty hard and the car was totaled. We were advised to go to the hospital to make sure nothing was wrong that paramedics couldn't immediately identify.

During my x-rays, the tech woman, at least in her late 30s, was calling me handsome and told me I didn't need to be shy about being in just my boxers for the process. She even said "I'm sure you have plenty of girls after you at school."

I remember feeling a weird mix of being utterly uncomfortable and shyly flattered at the same time. I guess my uncomfortable reaction won out because I told my parents afterwards during the ride home and my mom got pissed. She told me she wished I would have told her at the hospital so she could confront the nurse and complain to the administration.

So yeah, sexual harassment from women towards men is sadly more common than I think even people who grudgingly acknowledge it happens are willing to admit.

Title	Have You Ever Experience Sexual Misconduct From Women?
Author	Skeleton_Warrior
Upvotes	111
Comments	69
Date	September 15, 2021 8:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/poxvy3/have_you_ever_experience_sexual_misconduct_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/have-you-ever-experience-sexual-misconduct-from.1070240 https://theredarchive.com/post/1070240

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