I was verbally abused by my father but also by a nvx. In therapy, I learned about spotting the signs of abuse, especially emotional abuse. Pretty much everything I learned about healing from the abuse lines up with FDS. I learned about what healthy relationships and self love should look like and no surprise.... all FDS ideologies.

For example in a relationship you:

-have the right to encouragement, goodwill, be listened to and treated with courtesy

-have your emotions and experiences be treated as valid

-live free from criticism, blame, accusations, and ridicule

-be given a sincere apology when you are offended even if he thought it was "harmless"

-be called no names that belittle or devalue you

-feel safe in your environment and feel safe with your partner

-be free from walking on eggshells, emotional outbursts, violence and rage

-deserving clear answers /be free of secrecy

Notice how closely this follows a lot of the handbook materials for the baselines of respect. These are fundamental things. People healing from abuse have to learn their own worth, learn to love themselves while also learning the lessons so they can see the signs of abuse earlier.... sort of like how fds preaches self love, looking for red flags and vetting. I was taught how to also set boundaries, another common thread. The hardest thing for me was learning though to trust again and take things a step at a time-using my therapist and posting here to discuss my traumas rather than unloading to dates or friends.

So the takeaway is FDS is NOT outlandish or "too high of standards" or "being too picky" a lot of LV behaviors really are abusive behaviors.

Edit-mobile formatting