The wife and I decided to divorce about 2 weeks ago.

A few days later, she sends me an embarrassed text message apologizing because she'd bought a dating app and charged it to the wrong account, so I'd see the charge come through. Oops.

A few days after that, she put the wedding ring for sale on Facebook. I've gotten a lot, LOT of people calling me, texting me, reaching out to see if I was ok because of how frankly weird it was that she did that.

This weekend she was going to take our oldest kid on a short trip to meet an old friend of hers. Our kids are great friends, so I thought this would be a fun weekend trip. Well she just messaged me to let me know she was going to drop the kid off with her friend for the weekend and instead take a little solo trip to another city.

It's weird because people in my support network tell me how weird and hurtful this behavior is, and I just think, "really?". I am so emotionally detached from this marriage, I feel almost nothing at all.

This marriage beat the ever-loving shit out of me (methaporically). I am so relieved it is ending, I don't really care what happens between now and then or how much it'll cost me in the end. I had a few days of deep sorrow, mourning the marriage and the life that could've been. But since those days, it's been nothing but pure relief and joy.

I am already feeling so much happier. I feel way more connected to myself, less defeated by life. I think my whole life has been clouded by a vague depression for as long as I can remember. That cloud is lifting now. I'm remembering how I felt in the "before times" of marriage.

I always knew I'd be a dad, and I'd love being a dad, and I'd be a damn good one. I think looking back, I never should've been a husband. I never really liked it. I was bad at it. And I frankly chose the wrong woman to marry. It never fit. The life of a divorced dad fits me. It feels so comfortable. It feels right.

I look around the house at things I can't wait to change once she's gone. I see opportunities. I feel hope. I'm excited.

The next few weeks until the divorce is final, then however long it takes for her to actually move out, will be difficult times to push through. But I am so happy relief is on its way. Just that knowledge will carry me through this time. And in the long run, it won't be much time. I can stay patient.