Whither goest thou?

CatoftheBanals · 2022-01-12T21:54:17+00:00

Probably depends on the stage she's at. If you're just casually dating, it means "when will we be exclusive?" If you're exclusive, probably "when will we move in together?" If moved in, then "when will he propose?" And then...guess that's the end of the line, since kids aren't really a progression in these terms. I think that basically it means "when will we start planning a future together rather than in parallel"

DonQOnIce · 2022-01-12T21:05:28+00:00

A huge amount of people want to get married and have kids.

houstongradengineer · 2022-01-12T22:00:45+00:00

For couples who are looking for a lifelong partner, there is no end. Life is always going somewhere or other. If someone says the relationship is going nowhere, it means they feel like you don't have a partnership as a team going in the same direction for life. The person wants a partnership like that, and they're trying to find some way to make that happen maybe with someone else if necessary.

Usually it means that they're looking for a partnership that will achieve certain life goals like retirement or vanlife or marriage or a family farm, and that you don't necessarily seem to 100% be on board yet, so some kind of change needs to happen.

death_by_1000_cats · 2022-01-12T21:05:59+00:00

They want to know that it's headed toward a more serious, permanent arrangement, namely (for most women) marriage and kids.

Do you seriously not know this or are you playing dumb?

mackenzie013_02 · 2022-01-12T22:14:32+00:00

From my perspective, as someone who doesn’t want marriage or kids; this is usually related to lack of growth of the relationship/ deepening the connection. It typically comes up around 5-6 month mark and it’s when you hit a wall - it won’t ever get more than what it is. There’s something that’s blocking the progression and it’s usually related to: - lack of vulnerability - inability to open-up due to mismatch in personality - certain needs aren’t being met - lack of compatibility (similar goals, aspirations, core values)

It’s like how some friends never become close friends regardless of how much time you spend together.

CrazyBaby8891 · 2022-01-12T21:24:58+00:00

In a nutshell, they don't want to be forever-gfs.

AquaChip · 2022-01-12T23:41:22+00:00

Because women know men have a tendency to keep women around that they have no intention of marrying. They keep forever girlfriends because they don’t have the confidence or resources to get the women they actually want. But when they do they want to be able to quickly and painlessly leave the relationship so they never marry the woman.

Women crave security. When we get left in limbo we get anxious. We need certainty and a plan. I’ve also found that women who are left in “limbo” for long amounts of time are more likely to cheat.

livs4dietdrpepper · 2022-01-13T02:02:23+00:00

Sometimes I literally mean going somewhere.

I love watching Netflix or my man playing video games but I don’t wanna do that every single night. What are you doing to keep us moving forward as a couple, even if it’s not to be more serious just to not be stagnant. A little goes a long way. Just take me somewhere cool or come Up with something unique. My ex bought me a lego set for my birthday and I was a little taken aback but we had soooo much fun putting it together. Little stuff like that, I don’t want to be at the point where you think you have me locked in and now you don’t have to do Anything. And that goes both ways for sure

divingrose77101 · 2022-01-13T02:58:18+00:00

I don’t want to invest a lot of time or effort into a relationship only to be discarded after a few years.

neetykeeno · 2022-01-13T08:11:23+00:00

Generally that sort of talk is to avoid telling a third party what is really wrong or to cease discussing what is really wrong once you have totally given up on a partner.

It could mean he won't commit. It could mean she has worked out he has lied about his commitment to some major goal like having kids or buying a house and knows he is giving her the run around over and over.. It could mean he is a shitty father and refuses to be otherwise. Whatever. It is something but she is done with it...looking outwards and forwards now.

sernamedeleted · 2022-01-12T21:11:33+00:00

Relationships are based on open and honest communication between mature consenting adults who treat each other with respect and share common interests and compatible life goals.

If someone says the relationship "isn't going anywhere" then that is a likely indication of one of the following problems:

Lack of honesty.

Lack of respect.

Lack of common interests.

Lack of compatibility.

Lack of maturity.

Lack of adulting.

lonely_mixtape · 2022-01-12T21:04:24+00:00

I'm not sure what they mean. I've never felt the same sentiment.

My guess is they got into a casual relationship hoping it'd turn into something serious. It didn't and now they're upset. Or perhaps they went in wanting to "change/fix" their partner and (big surprise) it didn't work.

To all the other women. Stop doing this. Don't start something with hopes of change happening. You'll only be disappointed and leave whatever man you chose as your project feeling more worthless than they were before.

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CimZim · 2022-01-12T21:06:25+00:00

It's when a woman wants to know if there will be exclusivity and commitment, or if anything is going to be changing in the relationship status.

Like how I'm obviously happily longterm FWB...I'd never need to have a "where is this going" conversation with him, because we both know exactly what it is and what it will always be. Another woman who has been FWB with a guy for 6 months might be looking to turn him into a boyfriend, or even marriage, so she'd have a conversation about "what are we" or "are we going to progress this further".

Basically, if you're FWB...are you going to "progress" to dating. If you're dating...are you going to "progress" to getting hitched.

wtknight · 2022-01-12T21:16:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

figuringMylife · 2022-01-12T23:54:06+00:00

marriage. some of us want a family.

poppy_blu · 2022-01-13T00:12:58+00:00

Where is a relationship supposed to go?

To hell

ruboyuri · 2022-01-13T15:26:34+00:00

Mawwige

Obviously

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-12T00:40:08+00:00

the relationship is not progressing".

What the hell does this mean? Where is a relationship supposed to go? Progress in what way? Is there any end to this? Is it like a shark that must perpetually swim or die?

Relationships are supposed to progress from he made the first move to he took me out on a first date to the second and third date. Then, we dated for a whole month. The months accumulated and became a year. The years accumulated, and he proposed. I said yes, and we married a year later. Then, he became the father of my kids. Then, we lived happily ever after until he died, and I became a decrepit widow who visited his grave until I died, and now our kids and grandkids visit our graves side by side, and we look down from heaven and see the lives our beautiful love has created. Relationships that don't follow this trajectory aren't progressing.

gimpgirl555 · 2022-01-12T22:05:19+00:00

What the hell does this mean? Where is a relationship supposed to go? Progress in what way?

To him giving her stuff. Like him marrying her and providing for her.

Friendly reminder that women initiate like 70-80% of divorces.

Title	Whither goest thou?
Author	sex_is_dirty
Upvotes	12
Comments	98
Date	January 12, 2022 8:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/s2gr9j/whither_goest_thou/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whither-goest-thou.1095649 https://theredarchive.com/post/1095649

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