A forever girlfriend I met

electroloop · 2022-01-26T02:45:05+00:00

I’m ready for part two about the guy you mentioned at the end 👀☕️

w0rmsongs · 2022-01-26T01:16:36+00:00

Poor woman. Men know almost immediately when they meet "the one." Men who drag their feet to commit are holding out for someone better to come along, while wanting regular sex.

alpinepunch2021 · 2022-01-26T04:12:00+00:00

Something about the emptiness and regret in his eyes stuck out like a sore thumb. His reasons being that she bullied him.

In what possible world could she have bullied him if she was willing to have two of his children without even a marriage? The worst part about men who complain about this is they gaslight women into somehow having even less expectations after they dump them. FDS really is the only thing out there (and maybe 1970s radfem literature) that actually looks out for women.

Stories like this always make me feel anxious at just how bad life can get with scrotes, but on the other hand whenever there are red flags that even I could've spotted I feel a bit more confident too.

Yeah pretty much. Other girls are like, whatever. But the second she tells me she wants me I'm dumping anyone for her

I actually don't fully buy that he's that into her, because if he was he wouldn't sit around waiting for her to tell him she wants him.

Ok_Development_8104 · 2022-01-26T03:34:50+00:00

Any man over the age of 25 will commit immediately if they actually want you. Any other behavior is not worth my time.

vbych76 · 2022-01-26T06:15:28+00:00

I feel sorry for the mother.

I know, I know, but I can't help it being sympathetic towards her. Not all MILs are guilty for raising sons that are lazy, with addictions or with sociopathic tendencies, nor the personal example and the efforts they've put always raises stellar people. We have to stop blaming nurture (and especially the mothers) for every failure or bad turn in their sons lifes. Especially in this story. Both his mother and his girlfriend had him around for about 20 yrs, but what good did that do? This man is broken beyond repair, but I'm certain, that no amount of love, care or good influence helped. If he was a car, someone would have ditched him on the side of the road and never looked back. But nooo, now some poor woman in the last years of her life has to have a trash container with a face in her own house, yet again draining her time, efforts and money, sucking the life out of her. Men, like the one in the example are worst than leeches, moving from one recipient to another. I had an ex like this - from his mother to his first wife, from his first wife to the second one, from her to me. At one point his mother got terminally ill and lo and behold, he thought, that taking care of her meant to spend weeks at her house drunk and high on whatever he can get his hands on. Yes, while she was helpless and dying in the next room. So if he doesn't care for his mother, why would he care about any other woman in his life?

number1popcornlover · 2022-01-26T03:45:44+00:00

I had a toxic relationship with a LVM who was so manipulative that the relationship prolonged up to 1.5 years. Finally I had the strength to call it quits and cut him off my life, as well as his low value family and friends.

He's 7 years older than me. He was already turning 32 when I broke it off with him. The fact is, he wasn't financially stable YET he always talks about marriage and having a family. Early on, I've seen this red flag but his manipulative tactics took a hold of me. Future-faking and whatnot.

He has this sickness of stringing along girls and when I broke up with him I finally told him to go figure out his life first before stringing along any other girl. I have no news about him as of late and I don't have any intentions of having so; but I just truly can't stomach the fact that he has the guts to talk about marriage and establishing a family when he could barely stay alive on his own. Goddesses of FDS, kindly spare other women from the scrotage of these scrotes. 🙏🏼

Glad I'm finally single and currently planning on leveling up myself by entering Med School.

Ladies, don't let these scrotes baby trap nor string you along. We are so much more than that!

pillywill · 2022-01-26T04:49:05+00:00

I want to cry and vomit at the same time. This is so much like my ex that it's uncanny. We never had children (so beyond thankful!!) but he strung me on for over 10 years before I finally woke up and left. Thing is, his entire family begged him to marry me because they knew I took good care of him and was honestly obsessed with making him happy. He was more committed to alcohol than he ever was to me. I think he knew that he didn't deserve me and wanted me to leave but was too chicken to actually to do it himself.

Even though she's raising two children by herself now, I know for certain she is so much better off without that dead weight stringing her along and wasting everyone's time.

flufferbutter332 · 2022-01-26T05:44:54+00:00

About the women who push men to get engaged to them by X date or else...Why would you want to degrade yourself by dragging along a man? Pushing and pulling him to the next step in the relationship...Engagement, Marriage, kids, house. He’ll be fighting you all the way there. I imagine a guy like that will hold it over your head when the relationship goes south. “I never wanted to be married in the first place!!” If not, he’ll be a passive part of all these exciting steps! Shrugging and/or saying “I don’t care/whatever you want babe” to every question in the planning process. Don’t settle for someone who will begrudgingly do it to make you happy. Also don’t wait 5-10 years for a ring.

I’ll end this with a story: I knew a girl who was with her man for 4ish years. He was nice, but definitely the immature “I don’t believe in marriage” type. She was traditional and dreamt so much about having a family. The kind of girl who spends so much time visiting her nieces and nephews. She’d light up whenever a baby was around. That kind of person. So back to him, she kept trying to change his mind. He pushed back. So she wisened up and dumped him. Moved back to the other side of the country. Guess what? He suddenly had it in him to be a fiancé. She moved back and within a year they were married...It’s not a happy ending though.

Can you imagine the years of agony she went through, hoping that he’d change his mind? The pain when she realized he’d never step up? The false hopes (future faking) he probably gave her that made her hang on? We couldn’t believe that she’d take him back after all he did. She’s 35 now. Still no kids, but I figure if she wants them she’ll have to fight him tooth and nail on that one too....

FluffandRainclouds · 2022-01-26T15:13:40+00:00

The last line is such a sociopathic, NVM statement. AKA "I will use someone, drain them dry, and abandon them if my dream woman gives me the time of day." Nevermind how he probably wins treat the dream girl much better. It is quite easy for a woman's humanity to knock her off a man's imaginary pedestal

crnflakegrrl · 2022-01-26T04:59:55+00:00

Your last comment exactly. And we all know that if they did end up getting together he’d leave in 6 months after he got bored or when reality didn’t live up to the weird fantasy he built in his head.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-01-26T12:54:11+00:00

Well.... Now she knew exactly what she was signing up for but committed to self-gaslight. She probably told herself: I don't even want a ring, or a marriage, or fidelity.

That's how you talk shit to yourself - it happens. The worst outcome is you start believing it. The least bag is that you're taking to yourself out loud, in order to convince yourself off something that you know it's bullshit.

leekykeeks · 2022-01-26T05:27:32+00:00

This might get downvoted to hell but, I don't feel sorry for women like this anymore. I feel like Pickemeishas know that the man doesn't want them. They have to know. 10 years and no real commitment and no investment. Tragic.

BedazzledSwashbuckle · 2022-01-26T15:36:41+00:00

If he's entirely out of the picture, she's fine. Single moms (when we control for poverty and prior DV) raise kids that are indistinguishable from kids in happy two-parent homes (which this guy would never have created). They have 7 hours LESS housework a week without a man in the house. They report more sleep. They report more happiness. And they live longer than married mothers.

She is relatively lucky, your friend. Maybe introduce her to FDS or Zawn Villienes' blog and help her adjust her mindset, to see how much worse it would be if he stayed.

2022-01-27T03:28:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	A forever girlfriend I met
Author	throwaway-fds
Upvotes	659
Comments	40
Date	January 26, 2022 12:39 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/scslv8/a_forever_girlfriend_i_met/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-forever-girlfriend-i-met.1097522 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097522

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