So ive been looking for a place to post this but you have some subreddits whether they be for women absolutely destroy me for this and call me an incel. Or you got men calling me a beta bitch. Hopefully please people are cordial and have nuance as i will try to be. I want discussion thats honest.

So ive noticed that women dont do casual sex. This is a very unpopular opinion You might be like "come on bro stop being a clown women are humans and humans do like casual sex". You are right. But women dont do casual sex in the colloquial term. Most womens sexual experience comes from fwb relationships or people they know. They dont really do casual sex. Very rare do women hookup with a rando at a bar or a party. This is just from data and me speaking to women now that im in university.

This makes sense as women fear men. Rightly so. So much to the point that if you have ever used tinder as a dude you will be eliminated and swiped left for menial shit. Like having fishing or a gym photo. Which to me is asinine. But i guess they had bad experiences with gym rats and dudes that like to hunt. So women vet dudes out and are meticulous. Its less bad in real life than online but it is all the same.

Most women lose their virginities to someone they know. Most casual sex is from someone they know for a semester or a frequent fwb. Or friends.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/strictly-casual/201408/what-type-casual-sex-are-people-really-having

So if thats the case why do we train men to only do hookup. No no. Im fucking serious. Well i know why. Guys are told that in order to be men they must be wanted by a ton of girls. More women you fuck the more manly you are. So essentially masculinity is tied to the ability to get women. Sex is currency for man points. Hence why virgin men are shamed. They are literally less manly due to the standards. Its why it kinda knee jerks me when i see people like brush off incels as being just a group of nerds that hate women for not giving up pussy. I mean they are. But its deeper. Incels are literally emasculated by society. Its not sex they crave but what sex represents. Their identity. Now ofc this manifests itself differently for women. Women affirm theirselves by how much male attention. And if you say women dont live for men i call bullshit proudly.

Ok lemme stop being a crass asshole. Let me elaborate. While its not as exasperated as men. Women live for male validation. If you dont believe me just use tinder as an example. Im a young man. 18 goiny on 19. Gen Z. I used tinder for like 3 months. And ima tell you this many women are not on there to link up, meet up or date. But to boost confidence, get free clout and boost their ego. They sort of use it to see how many dudes find them attractive or what kinda dudes they can pull. They put their instagram handles and theit snapchat @ in their bio. Now me being the stupid man that i am actually texted them and followed them to see if this could boost my prospects. I found that they didnt answer or they left me on seen or they were dry as fuck. Essentially they wanted free clout. Socially they wanted free validation.

https://ars.els-cdn.com/content/image/1-s2.0-S0191886918302113-gr2.jpg

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-5753877/Many-women-using-dating-apps-merely-seeking-confirmation-attractiveness.html

Now that really sucks. That women and men still need the other gender to affirm themselves. Gender relations are very dialectical and i wish more people understood that. We do very much live in patriarchy a power system run by males for males. How i define it more usefully is that patriarchy is male against male. Women are weapons to use against other males hence why having sex with lots of women boosts status. Masculinity is hierarchical against each other and is quite exclusionary. Anything against the mold is deemed feminine and anything feminine is bad. Because i think thats what many women miss when they talk about men. Men are not some evil cartoon villains but merely trying to survive the same system that you guys inhabit. Masculinity is a hierarchy. its not inherent. You prove it and earn it by fitting into the rigid standards. be rich, be dominant, be stoic, bang lots of girls. Gender relations are dialectical. So while our system is a male power structure not all men get to weild that power but instead will uphold the structures(economy, institutions, and social norms) if it means to affirm masculinity which is power.

So that tangent aside. How does having men be invested in hookups and pickups help women? Why do we train men this way. So now that women only have sex with people close to them this means men need to get closer to women. And they do. But only for a short time. Because to be a man you need to stack a ridiculous body count men just fuck women and dip. So they will do whatever they need to get laid and move on. Hence why women have bad relationship experiences and lots of baby daddies. Because we are telling men go stack your body count. And this doesnt create fruitful relationships. The lying the manipulative behaviors. I know what dudes do. I can tell when a woman is being played for a sucker. Wanna know why after you guys fuck the dudes says "oh im not looking for anything deep right now" or "im not in the position for commitment" or when you ask what are we and he says "chill". Yeah. These guys may actually like you. But society is pushing them telling them to go stack up a body count. Getting your bread up and becoming execptional is just a means to get women which is a means to stunt on society. Dudes are living a lie. And this kinda cheaps out women to better experiences with dudes and i mean this earnestly. I really dont mean any of this offended. If i said something outta pocket tell me. But if you dont believe me theres more evidence that women like relationships and thats where they get most of their sex.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/vbmppm/we-asked-women-how-they-feel-about-casual-sex

They are not getting their back blown every sunday by 7 gigachads. As the first link i provided most of what women deem casual is fwb and not random dudes. Plus theres the orgasm gap in which women orgasm less than dudes because women need connection and lots of time and work. I can jack it and be done. So have a fear of men, lack of orgasm, and women believing in the traditional male gender norms and male hierarchy and we have the issue we got today.

So this means women get more reflexive. More picky. More guarded. And this causes ladies like mad anguish over things that i see minute like being a jets fan or some shit(tbh jets fans are not bandwagons. They aint got a ring since 1968 and they still loyal). Or liking to fish. Or being a football player. Because so many bad experiences has kinda made women i guess very very picky. And this makes my dating life more dogshit.

This pushing men into random hookups also doesnt help men get laid. You know what i mean. Its backfired. So like i said. Double edged sword. Because if women only have sex with men they know for an extended period of time. And pua and hookup generally tells men to pickup women quickly and stack body counts quickly. You can see how this will soon frustrate guys anf they get pissed. Essentially what needs to happen is that dudes need to take it slow and calm down. Move at womens pace.

Is this to say women dont have random hookups? No they do. Women got probably 30 dudes waiting in her dms tryna destroy her guts. Its just reality. And this is to my men out there. Shes got tons of dudes on her. Shes got options and so you will have to work hard to be the best. But women can stack a body count way easier. Cause they dont have to try. Guys fuck women for just being women and not for their person or their value(thats sad as fuck but its true). So women can stack a body count fast. Does it mean they will cave in? I dont think so. Do the pros outweigh the cons?

Its just rare that i think most men wont be able to find. My point is it takes a certain type of woman who fucks random guys in the club bathroom. And most guys probably cant get that kinda lady. To be the guy who gets many types of women including really promiscuous ones you must have a lot of social callibration(in man talk that means game) a way to attract women(money and social dominance because women still do believe in the traditional male norms). Not all men will be the top male and cant get really promiscuous women. Like i said. Recipe for disaster. Imagine every guy treating women like they are all incredibly promiscuous. Yeah bro this is cause of that. Thats why women are bombarded with unsolicited dick pics, catcalling and very abrasive sexual advances. Now ofc theres a better reasonfor why that happens. Men are told to make first move and women are very passive daters(that means they dont look for men they wait for them). So its this Training and raising dudes to pick up and hookup with as much women. When women are less promiscuous than dudes. Most of their "casual" sex is more like fwb or mini relationships. If im wrong correct me. Id love to learn. This is just my experience and me talking to women close in my life.

If we dont give men an alternative to what weve been shoved down our throats im afraid to say women are doomed for many shitty relationships. Ive explained this to women who im close with as to why their dating life sucks in a sense. Yeah "man bad". Thats true(not really) but its deeper than that. Lastly we can address the symptoms and the disease and not give a cure. Its easy for me to go "man bad. Alt right bad. Incel bad" and like. No shit. We need a cure and a vaccine. But i think this plague is far too entrenched in our society. You know. Like its backfiring on dudes. And its backfiring on women. And no one is happy. I couldve gone deeper as to the contradictions of modern society that has adressed the disease and the symptoms but worsen the disease like telling men that all hes good for is money and then tell him not to be financially abusive and economic hegemony over women. But i feel that this post is getting long.

Tldr. Women dont have casual random sex. And training men to be casual is a recipe for disaster and causes womens dating issues. Many women have to live up to a facade and crave male validation that it makes dating impossible. All i got to say is bro good luck women and my guys stay sharp and vigilant . If i said something outta pocket correct me. Im not a mean dude intentionally.