Guy grabs your girls ass in bar. How do you respond?

jacksbane · 2014-02-17T12:31:15+00:00

Just go all out for the embarassment,

Turn around to the guy and in a loud voice just say to him, excuse me mate, but my GF would like you to applogise for sexually assaulting her, if there enough people around to hear he he will die a thousand deaths, nobody wants to be accused of sexual assault in a busy bar

GayLubeOil · 2014-02-17T08:59:15+00:00

Blah Reacting with violence is so unoriginal. How about reacting with gayness? How about making him feel the way he made your girl feel. How about garbing his ass?

apotshot · 2014-02-17T09:04:02+00:00

Ideally, you can resolve the situation that preserves your dignity, her dignity, and makes you look like a hero.

In the real world, any attempt to do this is risky and can escalate into going to jail.

I.e. You say something, he attacks you, the bouncers come and beat you both up, not because they think you're both guilty, but because they like to beat people up, while the bar-tender calls the police, and then you are both hauled off to jail, both found guilty, and both have criminal records. All because you said something to save face.

See, in modern American, nobody, especially the authorities, gives two shits about an abstraction like your dignity. All they care about is, "Can we lock this person up and give them a record so they become more like slaves?" Sure, there are exceptions to this, but if you take the "predatory sadists in charge" as a rule, life will make a lot more sense, and you'll avoid a lot more trouble.

That being said, the best thing you can do is lift weights, get big, and cultivate an aura of menace. If you walk into a bar and people see you with your girl, they'll be less likely to try anything. Even so, when you do go out in public with your girl, keep her close. Don't leave her alone, if you can help it. Think about what YOU might do if you saw a girl by herself. You might hit on her or try to get her number.

If someone does something offensive, the best thing you can probably do is to just grab the girl and exit the situation. However, that won't help your dignity. If the girl doesn't understand the legal minefield you walk through, she's an asshole and should be nexted.

To help your dignity, you should probably just confront the guy, get close to him, and say, assertively, some variation of, "Don't do that!" You stare the guy right in the eye and let him know you're offended.

Caveat: If you are in a biker bar and the guy looks like a cast-member from Sons of Anarchy, you should definitely leave. You just can't rely on people to be honorable. Some people are just sick, twisted, cruel sadists, and they will provoke a confrontation because they LIKE to get into fights. And if they aren't sadists, you can count on the bouncers and the cops to be waiting in the wings. I had a friend who was a bouncer and he would always tell me stories about how he took his aggression out on drunks, and he started out as a perfectly nice guy!

InternetFree · 2014-02-17T12:09:35+00:00

Grab his ass in return.

Then say "Mhhmmm..."

Never break eye contact.

cray-cray-cray · 2014-02-17T10:46:26+00:00

I've gotten plenty of guys hitting on my GF and exGF, and the latter had her share of beta orbiters who tried to be weirdly physical (hugs! teehee) with her. In these cases, you just deal with it directly. "Fuck off." Done. Minimalism is often best. Physically move the girl and continue your conversation.

I've only had one case of a guy actually grabbing on my GF, and she told him to get lost and shoved him. I think if the girl doesn't do at least that, she's got to go. I'm not saying she needs to knee him in the balls, but if she's not verbally and physically hostile to someone feeling them up, she's far from a keeper. Since I was a bit of a bro in those days, I naturally bro-shoved him and said something broish, but in hindsight I don't think you need to be violent right off the bat. Tell him to piss off, if he doesn't back off of your girl, then you fight him or lose value with the girl. At that point, she's thinking you are a bitch if you don't deck this guy. She wants a man, not a kid afraid of the big bully. So it's on you to decide what's more important to me, dodging the potential shitstorm that can come from getting in a physical altercation or maintaining frame in her eyes.

Personally though, I think the secret is all in being WILLING to fight. Jackasses, bullies, criminals, etc all want to pick a fight with someone who cannot fight back. Show a bully that you are willing to fight and he will pick a different kid to fuck with. This comes through in body language, but basically in comes through naturally if you are actually 100% ready and willing to be in a fight. Step up to the dude grabbing on your GF, tell him to fuck off before you beat his face in, EVEN if he is bigger than you, and watch him walk away (calling you a fag from afar of course). Situation handled, you're GFs labia are already slimy with the knowledge that two men were fighting over her, and her BF scared the other one off. That type of reaction is so primal, it's like on Discovery when two lions will size each other up, and a weaker lion will back off and walk away at the last minute rather than actually fighting. Fights for her sends her pussy into overdrive, but so do these type of dominance battles.

C_D_O · 2014-02-17T12:38:58+00:00

You dont have to get violent. You can tool the guy. Of course, tooling him might evoke a violent response.

Heres the secret of violence: fighting fair is stupid under all circumstances. If you feel like its going to go violent, hit him first, him him in the jaw and dont stop hitting him until hes out on the ground.

its usually best to ask them a question first too, something innocuous, anything really. It engages the brain and BOOM thats when you hit him.

Actually reminds me, if any of you want to know about the psychology and the reality of violence, pick up "watch my back" by geoff thompson. It is hands down one of the best books you will ever read, and I'm not exaggerating at all.

Thompson was a doorman back when the clubbing scene in the UK wasnt just drunk college kids, it was scumbags who wouldnt think twice about shanking you for a perceived slight.

He talks a lot about controlling fear, dominance challenges and how to defuse situations, fighting, as well as his fuckin hair raising experiences working the door during this violent period in the UK.

Its really everything in one book, its self help and life coaching, its a guide to real violence, its a guide to navigating the animal world of humans, its an insight into the life and characters that is the world of bouncers/doormen, and above all else its really just a great fucking story.

quintaldo · 2014-02-17T09:17:02+00:00

tough question

a future doctor can't be running around getting felonies

Freshtowels · 2014-02-17T10:19:11+00:00

There was a thread similar to this I think the upvoted answer is its the girls job to deflect the guy... if she doesnt shes not high value and you immediately start talking to other women in the bar.

Neat_On_The_Rocks · 2014-02-17T15:54:45+00:00

My girlfriend is a firecracker. She'd take care of this herself.

carolinadreams · 2014-02-17T16:48:38+00:00

After finishing up my second enlistment in the Army, I was pretty much done with bars. It seems like the most boring, inane shit imaginable, with the sole exceptions being at some smaller venues that have a particular band or bands that I know, and a generally older clientele.

So in general if a guy grabs my ass in a girl, I slap myself for walking through the door in the first place. If you volunteer to hang out in the zoo don't be surprised if you get some monkey shit on you.

AminalBones · 2014-02-17T09:17:45+00:00

well there's always someone out there who can punch harder than you, so it would take some kind of physical threat beyond her ass getting grabbed once for me to risk violence due to the possibility the guy might be a boxer in his spare time or something

2014-02-17T13:00:15+00:00

First, I know better than to take a girl to a bar/club. But let's say I do... The first thing I would do is pay attention to her reaction - this is most important I think. Based on what she does, I would either next her, or do something like GayLubeOil suggested:

Blah Reacting with violence is so unoriginal. How about reacting with gayness? How about making him feel the way he made your girl feel. How about garbing his ass?

If he persists, then confrontation is the only option left. If that doesn't work either, there's violence.

2014-02-17T15:22:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

beauPinsson · 2014-02-17T12:03:50+00:00

Eye contact, assertive stance and voice: "Don't do that"

icallmyselfmonster · 2014-02-17T10:07:04+00:00

In the greater scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal, so probably would do nothing.

2014-02-17T08:39:26+00:00

My instinct would be to just say, "Fuck off man." In a low, calm tone.

And see if it escalates from there.

GushyWetWet15 · 2014-02-17T12:35:01+00:00

i would confront the guy verbally. would tell him to fuck off and if he tries that shit again there will be big problems. if someone violates your girl you can't be a bitch about it and walk away/ignore it, you have to put that other guy in his place. that's just me though, i don't like confrontations but if some guy is harrasing a girl i'm with then that shit ain't on because if you do ignore/walk away/cower then you've lost her interest as well

2014-02-17T14:45:15+00:00

"I wink my eye at your bitch, if she smile, she gone."

If your girl acts like some stranger can get a piece of her as she giggles that her ass was grabbed, you lost. If your girl tells him off, you won. If the girl gets scared and you didn't step up to the guy, you lost.

Keep it verbal first, stay witty, keep eye contact, and be ready to crack a windpipe if he flexes up to punch you.

2014-02-17T15:12:50+00:00

I routinely put my gf and her friends in that situation. For example if I see some guys playing pool, I'll give the girls money for a game or two and hope the guys the next table over start getting chatty. Usually only takes about 5 min before one of the guys buy a round of shots. I'll walk up to the alpha of the group and tell him she'll turn into a slut if he gets her drunk enough. Its awesome, she gets drunk (not on my dime) I don't have to listen to the girls squawk, can just hang out with my friends and laugh at the other guys when I grab her and say lets go home and fuck.

Julian_Berryman · 2014-02-17T16:51:33+00:00

I've been in this situation a few times. It's mostly people being drunk tards and my companions haven't expected me to deck the guy, but they definitely look for some reaction

Generally i will put myself between him and the girl and say something along the lines of "back off"/"fuck off"/"don't be a prick".

Their reaction varies from scuttling off embarrassed or trying to goad me into escalating. If it gets to that point it's "walk away"/"leave, now".

Never had a situation boil over, but one guy got a bit mouthy when people in the crowd overhead what was going on and forced him away from the bar. I saw him getting kicked out later, presumably he did something similarly twatish.

2014-02-17T18:22:01+00:00

Another example of how having multiple FB/GF allows you to win all situations by doing nothing.

Do nothing. If girl thinks your a pussy and leaves, you have 3 others. These days you cannot bestow violence on another man for simple acts like this without risking jail time, or a horrible sneak attack by his friends. Shit, the dude could have a knife or gun for all you know.

I realize this happening is a stretch, but this would be a make or break scenario in how your girl sees you.

You've already lost if you are doing epic things to effect "how she see's you". You are not a white knight.

thecajunone · 2014-02-17T08:41:49+00:00

Not sure how others would handle it but as a testosterone fueled, little angry man I'd probably start with a verbal warning. "Fuck off loser, this one is mine". Dude wants to escalate from there just get his ass kicked out, problem over.

usku · 2014-02-17T13:14:43+00:00

I watch my wife punch him in the gut, and knock his ass to the ground. Followed by the watching the bouncers toss his ass out of the bar for inappropriate behaviour.

My wife gave me shit for not joining in, but my retort was "He just got beat by a five foot two 100 lbs lady. There is nothing I can do to make his night any worse for grabbing your ass."

2014-02-17T13:28:13+00:00

fighting is usually best reserved for morons, but when it involves your girl it's pretty much a given that you're responsible to physically respond to a dude slapping her ass, especially if you're visibly with her. non-violence is cool in most situations, but why do nothing and live the rest of your life regretting it? a coward dies a thousand deaths, and your girl would rather you step up and swing on someone even if you end up getting the shit kicked out of you than watch you cower away in favor of the high road

but that's just, like, my opinion, man

edit: could it be that i'm being downvoted by hamstering betas in /r/theredpill of all places? we've come full circle

tw8492 · 2014-02-17T16:04:50+00:00

You walk up to him and do the exact same thing.. See how he likes it.

SgtSplacker · 2014-02-17T16:07:50+00:00

Various ways i'd handle this. If I can i'll just ignore the whole thing like I didn't hear or see anything at all. I mean really who cares? Couple drinks and she won't even remember what happened herself if nobody makes a big deal of it. If it was something very overt and hard to ignore, i'll get up in his face and call him a couple names enough to even things out a bit, i'll make sure I keep making reference to what he did so everyone knows what's going on. At this point either the security shows up, you end up fighting the dude, or he just takes the name calling like a man and you eventually walk away talking shit. If you ask the dude to apologize not only is there a chance he will, but it takes the focus away from it being a physical altercation. Again, anyone hearing you asking for an apology immediately knows you are the victim.

In Miami whenever someone tries you like that in public it's typically someone who is ready and likes to fight or an off duty cop (same thing), bouncer, gangster with backup, or something similar. So you have to be careful getting suckered into these things. It's important to talk loud so the people around you know whats going on and can help the right person or be a proper witness if things get stupid.

I've seen many simple things like this turn into something much bigger, really it's best to avoid at all costs. In the south people will totally bait you and rip you a new one if you are not careful and for no reason at all other than to look good in front of their friends or even to rob you.

Side Note: Most decent women won't make a scene about stuff like this because they know you can end up in jail for something stupid.

Notinjuschillin · 2014-02-17T16:23:16+00:00

Slap his ass and hard like a man would slap a whores ass. I've done it in the past, it works well.

robesta · 2014-02-17T17:49:15+00:00

It depends.

Most of the bars I frequent I know the owners, bouncers and bartenders. At those places they'd kick the fucker out and probably let me rough him up a little first. At one I am their amateur bouncer, either assisting the bouncer or being the bouncer on weekdays when they don't have one.

If I was at a random bar, I'd probably get in the fucker's face and tell him to leave.

All this is assuming my girl didn't already beat him ass..... She's a level 2 Krav Maga instructor.

2014-02-17T17:57:02+00:00

Walk by him, whisper in his ear "if you touch my girl aain i'm whippin your ass"

j_arbuckle2012 · 2014-02-17T18:12:35+00:00

Avoid the situation all together. You can't "protect your woman's honor" in this day and age. Not that you should anyway, but if some asshole decides to get handsy, then mate-guarding could go all kinds of sideways, legally and physically.

The best thing to do is to not go to a bar with your girl, or date girls who aren't into the whole skeezy club/bar scene.

2014-02-17T18:31:45+00:00

A stern warning.

If it goes unheeded, fisticuffs ensue.

bassivemalls · 2014-02-17T18:34:49+00:00

If you can kick his ass, confront him, but don't fight him.

If he's bigger than you, you can't risk a fight--not worth it--when she looked back, I'd just shrug my shoulders with a "meh" look on my face like it didn't bother me. She wouldn't think that I was too much of a pussy to fight, she'd think I didn't care about her enough to do anything. Makes her start thinking she's not good enough, hot enough, blah, blah and the hamster is off and running.

YouDislikeMyOpinion · 2014-02-17T18:37:12+00:00

Instant confrontation in any way, shape, or form to my satisfaction.

SillyAmerican · 2014-02-17T19:07:35+00:00

Sternly call him out. This is a low move and a strike on your honor. You must defend it. If its comes down to a fight then be prepared to do battle. But no one touches my girl and gets away with it. I wouldnt look for a fight immedietely but I would call him out and let him know that shits not okay. He got in line, so then its up to him if he really wants to ride the ride.

naas77 · 2014-02-17T19:32:36+00:00

Similar scenario happened to me once.. was at a concert with a platonic female friend, these 2 dickweeds and their girl stand next to us and start poking female friends ass, thinking it was funny. I didn't think much of it, since she wasn't my gf or anything, bt it got to the point where I was annoyed at them, and shoved one of em and told em to knock it off. Their response: "okay man, sorry"

Moral of the story, many ppl like to avoid being called out or any type of confrontation. If you see something go down, if it can be resolved by simply asserting yourself, then more power to you. If not, then by all means get ready to throw down.

alkyjason · 2014-02-17T20:05:26+00:00

I honestly don't know. I'm not an ultimate, UFC, ass-kicking, badass tough guy champion like the rest of reddit so I couldn't say.

RebootedMale · 2014-02-17T21:08:23+00:00

Grab her friend's ass.

2014-02-17T23:57:25+00:00

Obvious legal repercussions aside you never want to get into a fist fight in the streets. Your value as a man starts with you having a fully functioning mind and body. All it takes is one unlucky crack on the head and you're out of the game forever.

2014-02-18T02:34:07+00:00

I've got nothing to contribute, but have some crotch-rock.

2014-02-18T02:42:47+00:00

The suggestions people are making here, while respectable, are all but practical. Remember in this scenario, the dude is drunk, and/or had a good inkling that the guy the girl was following closely was her boyfriend and didn't give a shit either way.

You start this "assert yourself, make eye contact, make yourself as big as possible" as if you're taking the advice of narrators from those when animals attack shows to scare off a bear or puma, and you're going to get hit in the head with a bottle and stomped out, and then your girl is going to leave you.

The answer is you preempt this probable outcome with pure, raw aggression and beat the crap out of him. I'm obviously no lawyer, but defending your loved one from sexual assault sounds like a good defense to me.

panzergling · 2014-02-18T14:00:48+00:00

If I was drunk, I'd probably grab his ass right back.

If I was sober, I'd probably grab his ass after a moment of choking back the urge to snatch the light from his eyes.

Gstreetshit · 2014-02-18T16:17:11+00:00

I'm pretty stupid. I would immediately flip out and be ready to fight. My attitude with things like this isn't very healthy for a man of my stature. I don't get mad often. But when I do it's very bad. Like, surprised I haven't been sentenced to a long time in the pen or had my ass properly stomped into a coma.

TP_2 · 2014-02-19T00:47:52+00:00

I only have one question for you:

1) WHY ARE YOU AT A BAR WITH YOUR GIRL? ARE YOU RETARDED?

Sry, that's actually 2... although the second is rhetorical.

2014-03-19T14:06:55+00:00

grab his ass then whisper in his ear that you're bisexual and that you have a nonmetallic blade in your pocket and you aren't afraid to take him to the bathroom to rape him.

idk i have a crazy mean mug and dark as fuck skin so me being a 5' 11'' + 150lbs manlet is the last thought on their mind.

tw0lly · 2014-02-17T08:35:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Sete_Sois · 2014-02-17T14:57:23+00:00

I will pop a beer bottle on his knee cap and commence the beat down.

Do not touch my woman.

I'm a very peaceful man but over the years I've learned that some people just need a beat down because violence is the only language they respond to.

2014-02-17T09:04:04+00:00

That depends a lot on if you'd be able to destroy that guy or if he'd destroy you.

WeAreLegion1863 · 2014-02-17T13:32:53+00:00

Grab his upper-arm in a firm grip, look him in the eyes and say "No".

Works no matter what language he speaks.

If he doesn't calm down and apologize, remove yourself from the situation with you between the guy and your girl.

Any physical attempt to escalate the situation is your license to go cave man. (the outcome isn't as important as the attempt)

In France you could get away with it.

kommissar_chaR · 2014-02-17T13:52:10+00:00

Grab his or his girl's ass.

PrinceofApathy · 2014-02-18T00:26:35+00:00

This has happened to me once, she went into the bar before me and I was getting my wallet out of the middle cubby, I walk in, see a guy grab a good hand full of ass and he was like "Hey baby girl, what's up".

All I did was say " Yeah that soft n feels good right?" He turns around confused as hell, " I was like that is what I'm talking about" "Gimme a knock"

and I put out my hand for a fist bump, while putting my hand on her shoulder, where she moved in closer to me, and he fist bumped me back, still confused.

I am pro-male, so, I will never kill or hurt another male over any woman on this planet, unless he is doing something life threatening to someone in a close relation or a family member. If its some random woman getting her face kick started I'll cheer on the man rather than help the woman.

I am done throwing men under buses.

feelsbeforereals · 2014-02-17T08:42:18+00:00

to me this is a hard one because i haven't been red pill long enough to know how women would react to any of the potential actions i could take.

i also am aromantic so the hypothetical is kinda useless to me..

2014-02-17T21:19:29+00:00

If the bar isn't crowded, and I have made friends previously with the staff (always do this it really pays off), I'll just let the staff know and get that clown ejected.

Meglomaniac · 2014-02-17T22:26:21+00:00

How about this for a change up.

Tell him if he touches your girl again there is going to be a serious issue. Dont argue, dont let him draw you into a "im tougher then you, what are you going to do" argument. tell him flat out if he does it again there will be a MAJOR problem. Then just stare at him, he just sexually assaulted your GF. Dont be nice. If it escalates, handle your shit like a man.

Go and tell security what happened so they are in the know and are watching.

If he does it again, lose your shit very loudly but dont touch him.

Get security to do your heavy lifting, still protect your alphaness.

esco_ · 2014-02-17T22:42:45+00:00

if its "my" girl, as in my girlfriend, i will call the guy out immediately and wont back down from a fight (although wont start one) unless hes 6 foot 6 and built

Letting this go without confrontation is being a bitch imo.

if its not my girlfriend, i wont care.

afcpoop · 2014-02-17T15:33:04+00:00

"Thats not my problem thats between you and him" she will get fucking pissed. Implies she wanted it (face it this is probably a situation she brought on herself. It was probably her idea to fo to said club or be around aaidbass grababers)

thetwistur · 2014-02-17T16:51:47+00:00

it is just me and I know it's wrong, but my mind will stop functioning properly and I will get in a fight even if the odds are against me...

2014-02-17T17:15:41+00:00

Solution: Don't be responsible for a girl's honor in the first place. Spin plates and if some shit goes down just be like "meh" you ain't my girlfriend you just my ho.

pushajudas · 2014-02-17T11:02:03+00:00

Offer to buy him a drink...put something in it. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. By the time shit goes down you and your woman are long gone. Yeah I'm not a nice guy.

Edit: Guess I should clarify, I don't mean any sort of drug because the person could have a really bad reaction and you could be criminally liable. I'm thinking a big thick loogie or snot. By the time he feels the viscosity in his mouth it'll be too late.

Edit: Downvote me fags just never cross me :D

Title	Guy grabs your girls ass in bar. How do you respond?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	86
Comments	171
Date	February 17, 2014 8:28 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1y4ruj/guy_grabs_your_girls_ass_in_bar_how_do_you_respond/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/guy-grabs-your-girls-ass-in-bar-how-do-you-respond.11444 https://theredarchive.com/post/11444

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