What was your timeline?

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2023-01-11T18:03:23+00:00

I was a shy teenager and who wanted to get married right off the bat and hated the idea of dating and hookups. I met my first boyfriend at 21-24. We were briefly engaged but it became clear that we had different values and goals in life.

Dated my next boyfriend 25-28. We were perfect on paper. Same goals, same cultural background, everything. Seriously, you couldn't make a better match, in theory. However, I wasn't at all attracted to him at all and it never got better. I had a ton of guilt and doubt when I ended that relationship.

Met my husband shortly after at 28. Chemistry and same goals/values, ding ding ding! Married at 30, kids at 31, 33 and 36, no trouble conceiving.

I'm very happy with my life, but if I had to give my younger self advice, I'd recommend aiming to meet a marriage-bound LTR by 23-25 and kids in late 20s/early 30s. I wish my husband and I had more time together, just the two of us, before having kids. I'd also probably have just two kids.

Hopeful-Midnight12 · 2023-01-11T18:45:34+00:00

17- Had my very first boyfriend ever. He was my first date,kiss, everything.

21- We bought our first apartment together

23-We got married

24-Our little one was born

25-The second little boy was born

27- This is my current age, now I’m a stay at Home mom, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been (same for my Husband) . I just discovered RP & Christianity recently, and I can’t wait to dive into these topics more.

ActuallyASwordfish · 2023-01-11T19:33:55+00:00

18 went to college Dated one guy for three years and he was a douche.

21 moved out of state with strangers dated/got engaged because I felt pressured to start husband hunting.

23 made lots of friends and then met my current husband after partying a lot

26 married my husband after spending 23-26 traveling the US with him and my bestfriend.

27 my first baby!

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-01-11T17:41:07+00:00

19 - married right out of high school
23 - divorced a sociopath
27 - met my husband through online dating, right around the time doing so became the norm
29 - got engaged and married six months later
30 - bought our first home
31 - started trying for kids
32 - diagnosed with male factor infertility
32 - first IVF cycle
33 - second IVF cycle two months later
33 - twin girls
35 - baby boy, one month ago
? - would love to have one more before my husband turns 40 and we donate our remaining embryos for adoption

I'd love to be 10 years younger, but overall I'm very happy with how things turned out. The benefits to being a first-time-mom in my 30s have been surprising. I don't feel like I have a lot less energy, but I do have more stability. I got to have a career for 10 years, before staying home with my children. I took the time to really enjoy myself in my twenties, cultivating a career, hobbies, and friendships. The days don't seem nearly as long when I know what I'm missing.

My husband has been able to build up a career that isn't in oil, the field he was in when we met. He's home for lunch every day, dinner every night, and doesn't fear losing his job based on the economy. We didn't buy a starter home and don't feel like we need to expand any time soon. We're in a financial place where we have little debt. When I go back to work in five years, we'll be able to send our kids to Catholic school. I kept my teaching certificate, so I'll be able to build a new career easily, and still be home any time school is out.

I plan to encourage my girls to date with purpose and aim to marry in their mid-twenties and have children a couple years later, because I do consider that ideal. Regardless of the wrenches thrown, though, things worked out pretty well and I wouldn't change them.

ladida1321 · 2023-01-11T22:49:05+00:00

17- started dating my first bf 26- got engaged 27- got married 29- got divorced 30- started dating my fiancé 33- got engaged Getting married again this spring right after my 34th bday Planning to start trying for a baby by fall 2023

angelicasinensis · 2023-01-11T23:19:18+00:00

I didn’t have any plans really, didn’t grow up with two parents and my mother always told me to go for the career- I moved to a rural farming community at age 17 and when I was 23 I got baby fever, 24 got pregnant with a friend after confessing I wanted babies and he did too- we then got together when my son was a year and had two more children by 30. Moved away from Farming community at age 30. Happily married now at 33 with 3 kids, we talk about a fourth but no serious plans. Very happy with how things turned out- just bought a home This year, we are hopping to increase cash flow ASAP since I stay home with the kids.

Ruffleafewfeathers · 2023-01-11T20:36:01+00:00

16—Met my now husband in college became best friends for 8 years

24—started dating

25— Married with a kid on the way

26— still happily married with a beautiful daughter

Ok_Obligation_6110 · 2023-01-12T03:09:59+00:00

23 - met my future husband on Tinder while living in my college city starting my career

24 - we move to a new city near our home towns for him to start a PhD

25 - we break up because we didn’t seem to be on similar timelines

26 - we get back together with the intention to marry after at least one year

27 - move back in together

28 - we get engaged and married in my dream destination wedding and honeymoon

29 - my current age, my husband finished his program and got a great job, we bought our first house, and we just welcomed our first child! I was a house wife my whole pregnancy and now I’m a SAHM!

In retrospect, my husband says he feels silly we basically wasted a year and he wished he proposed sooner lol I still think the timing is great and I’m very happy with where we’re at!

kitty38100 · 2023-01-11T18:38:54+00:00

21-met my husband and began dating 23-accidentally got pregnant with my first, ended up getting married and dropped out of school. 25-had my second child 26-had my third child 30-had my fourth child

jaydeke · 2023-01-11T17:56:32+00:00

22 - began dating husband 25 - married, always open to life 42 - still married, still childless

Sometimes life just doesn’t work out as planned.

beezy__ · 2023-01-11T18:12:14+00:00

Started dating my husband at 25, got married at 30, I'm 31 now

The timing has been largely dictated by the fact that we're from 2 different countries

littlestircrazy · 2023-01-12T01:52:59+00:00

15-18: dated highschool/college bf, thought we were going to get married but he wanted to explore and so ended things (we had also never had sex because I was waiting for marriage)

Didn't date the rest of college or first few years out of school.

22/23-26: dated bf, moved in together and had plans to move to NYC together...but his family ended up needing him more than me, so he ended things so I could move on

Moved to NYC, went on a few dates but nothing past even the first 3 dates.

30, moved into living in a car and traveling the country (yay pandemic). Really became who I was meant to be.

31: met my current somebody while on the road. We shall see how it goes, but I feel my best self with him, know who I am, and am hopeful. 😌

frvalne · 2023-01-12T22:53:49+00:00

Dated some losers in my 20’s, finally got smart in my late 20’s. Met my now-husband at 27, married at 29.

Baby girl at age 30

Baby boy at age 33

Baby boy at age 35

Wanted more, let society and doctors make me feel old. 4 years later decided it’s not about pleasing others, got pregnant first try at 39, had baby boy 4 months ago at 40.

I wish I’d been younger starting this whole phase because it’s THE BEST. But also, my husband was absolutely worth waiting for.

I married him poor, but kind and good, no style, but cute. Now he’s rich with good style ( a wife helps), and he’s still good and kind. A wonderful husband and partner.

I’m a stay-at-home mom and homeschooler with a beautiful house and big yard surrounded by Mountain views. I just finished decorating a Valentine’s tree with my kids before we work on dinner.

breemakin · 2023-01-12T09:41:23+00:00

17 - went on my first ever date with the man who was my soon to be boyfriend

19 - bought my first house with said boyfriend

19 - got first pet! A cat!

20 - got first puppy and two more (accidental) cats

21 - bought my second house and potential forever home with same boyfriend (homestead with 40 acres).

22 - got second puppy and also lots of animals like sheep, goats, chickens, horses (yes, my husband is sick of me and my menagerie)

23 - engaged

23 - sold first house for good profit

24 - married

And now I’m just shy of 25 years old and we are planning to enjoy being newlyweds for a few more years before diving into the spooky realm of having children. We both work full time and want to travel our country a bit and I also want to go to Europe. When we have kids, I will be a SAHM until they’re all in school. I hope to have kids about 27/28.

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2023-01-13T20:12:26+00:00

I started dating with the intention of marriage at 24. Met my husband at 24. He proposed after a year and a half of dating (we did live together for a year - which I don’t advise doing), married at 26. I’m 27 now and we’ve just started trying for children.

kirbypuff_ · 2023-01-11T18:53:40+00:00

16- started dating my first boyfriend

20- broke up with him to "explore new things" (I wanted to ride the cc tbh)

21- got with the first "horse" on the carousel lol. disaster ensued

22- finally ended things (physically) with the dude. alpha widowed though. literally only ended things because I forced myself to move away.

22-24: nun mode. fully unintentional. Sincerely wanted no other man.

24: Met my current fiancé. Was shocked to find a man I was actually ATTRACTED to. Forgot all about my ex.

26: Fiancé proposed

27: We're getting married in a few months :D

RoadhouseBlues-70 · 2023-01-12T00:25:48+00:00

18- dated one guy who was very liberal and not wanting to wait til marriage with me even tho I told him BEFORE we dated that I was waiting.

I am still 18 and am single 😹 I’m also going to college :P

Loveenglishpeople · 2023-01-12T01:55:59+00:00

18-started college. 19-shifted my studies met my SO, we started dating. First kiss for me, first real girlfriend for him (just kisses before) so each other firsts. 20-living together, but I am basically squatting at his small place. 21-first appartement together 22-still going strong, everything perfect. Apparently he wants to wait finishing his degree before marriage. So I am waiting for this. Trying to figure out what degree to study on my part. We are starting to plan financially because we wanna do it the right way, have a place or two paid off by the time we are 40-45, and live comfortably overall. Not sure I want kids personally. I think they cost way too much money, and I want to afford living anxiety free, and money problems are the number one reason for unhappiness and divorce. Will depend on the money we both make.

undothatbutton · 2023-01-12T04:17:20+00:00

My ideal timeline when I was like 16:

• 18-22 - meet spouse, ideally in university

• 22ish - graduate, get married, get a puppy?

• 25ish - buy a house, have baby 1

• 27ish - have baby 2

for some reason I was set on the idea my babies would be 18ish months apart?! and I’d maybe have more babies. tbd. I’ve wanted 2-5 kids at any given point in my life.

My actual timeline:

• 19 - met spouse, started dating

• 22 - graduated college, got engaged

• 23 - got married, got pregnant

• 24 - got a puppy, baby boy was born

• 25 - got pregnant again

• 26 - baby boy 2 will be born

I’m turning 26 this year just before baby boy 2 is born. boys will be 21 months apart. (18 months apart sounds crazy to me now that I’m a mom!) we will likely have another 2 babies <2 years apart when our boys are around 4 & 6. we haven’t bought a house yet, but have the money saved. just haven’t settled down where we are. we moved to a new state after marriage due to some extended family stuff. so we aren’t sure where we will land in the next couple years. but mostly… I lived out my ideal timeline tbh. I also always dreamed of being a SAHM (like my mama was for me and my siblings🥰) and I get to do that, plus my husband WFH and only works about 30ish hours a week, so we see him a ton. I honestly feel like I get to live my dream life!

yohanya · 2023-01-12T16:55:31+00:00

15-18 - first relationship, Not Good but learned a lot about myself

19 - met my husband

20 - got married

21 - had my son

I'm 22 now, I'd like to have all my kids by 30 but we're also hoping for some bigger age gaps, so we'll see. Haven't decided whether to homeschool, go back to college, start a business, or start homesteading (which way western woman 🤔), but I am hoping to raise some babies for at least the next decade anyway, so I have time to decide.

I didn't think I'd get married so soon, the timeline I had in mind for myself in my teens had me starting my family in my late 20s/early 30s. I'm so thankful I met my husband, it seems like sheer luck!!

Throwawaylikehay · 2023-01-16T05:05:09+00:00

Definitely enjoying the posts. Thank you for sharing, ladies!

At late 20s, I definitely feel anxiety even though I consciously know I shouldn't. I didn't have dating experience as a kid. Just generally shy, socially anxious, was and still is prone to limerence (ugh!!!!). Parents highly discouraged me from dating when I was younger too (cultural bullshit). So now that I'm getting closer to 30, I'm all of a sudden supposed to know how to date then somehow get married? *sigh*

I bring my prayers up to God, hoping that He will help me out here a LOT. I read a lot of self help, dating books, RPW, FDS threads which has really helped me gain experience and narrow down what kind of timeline/relationship dynamic to have.

So, thank you beautiful ladies. Wishing you all the best in your marriages!

call_me_bun · 2023-01-11T21:09:00+00:00

According to my child development classes 35 is pushing it so 35 is my limit I wanted to be married already(still not engaged and I'm getting close to 30) so soon I gotta start trying for kids bcs i have reproductive issues I need to really get back to a healthy weight >.> trauma has taken so much from me it's hard man

AutoModerator · 2023-01-11T17:39:10+00:00

Title: What was your timeline?

Full text: I know I've asked this question in years past under other usernames, but I've seen so many "I'm running out of time" posts lately that it seems like a good time to revisit the discussion and inject some realism. What was your timeline for dating, marrying, and having kids? Were any wrenches thrown into your plans? Are you happy with how things turned out?

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I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

asslite · 2023-04-22T14:21:51+00:00

This thread is older, but I wanted to share since I got divorced.

22: met first husband

23: bought a house with him, and 2 rental properties

24: engaged to him

25: married to him

25: separated 6 months later and divorced. (Tldr: didn't want to be a husband to me anymore, and it was heartbreaking) he liked being a boyfriend more than husband. He let me keep the house in the divorce since he wanted to move out of state.

26: Met boyfriend whose values align with me, and I'm pretty sure he's my soulmate

27: Got engaged

I'm currently 27. We plan to elope and start for kids next year. A few people have asked me why I didn't want to just stay single a few years after my divorce, and I think it was then I started to realize why RP made sense to me. It was because I want to be married and have children, and that is really important to me beyond anything else. I do have a great career and make great income, but I actually took a less high paying job to focus my career to help others. While I do still identify as a feminist, I didn't like the feminist push of being career driven and a bacherlotte all my 20s. I was a little shocked that a lot of my friend group didn't align or understand me in that way, but it makes sense in hindsight. I really want to focus on becoming a good wife and mother first before anything else.

Title	What was your timeline?
Author	Wife_and_Mama
Upvotes	34
Comments	61
Date	January 11, 2023 5:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/109anbb/what_was_your_timeline/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-was-your-timeline.1146076 https://theredarchive.com/post/1146076

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