My boyfriend thought that when I said "I hate how men think this way," that I was including him in that.

iainmf · 2023-03-20T23:34:28+00:00

I removed your post. Reddit Admins have warned us about people going from here and causing trouble on other subs.

Naming other subs is unnecessary and can get this sub banned.

critical_Bat · 2023-03-20T13:34:39+00:00

I do browse that sub and it seems the most popular comment is to end relationships.

Redscorpio-DR · 2023-03-20T13:59:08+00:00

If I was you I wouldn’t browse on that sub, preserve your mental health.

Digger_is_taken · 2023-03-20T14:05:33+00:00

Feminists are very aware of the intricacies of precise language when it is convenient for them, very obtuse when it is not.

ZekalMacabre · 2023-03-20T16:01:57+00:00

2X is a literal sewer. Best to stay out of that toxic hate sub.

Reaper621 · 2023-03-20T16:08:47+00:00

"Well not all men."
But you literally just said all men.
"Yeah, but I didn't mean like... you."
So, I'm not a man?
"Well you are, but you're different."

just... just stop. No.

PalpitationOk7640 · 2023-03-20T14:29:54+00:00

I hate that sub. It's the most toxic sub on Reddit. Just remember that sub is not a reflection of how most women think, just radical extreme feminist. Nothing but an echo chamber of bad ideas.

odysseytree · 2023-03-20T14:17:31+00:00

I hope he finds out that she posts about him on 2X to validate her hatred. Following the top comment there, I hope she breaks up with him. She will do him a favour.

TheStumblingWolf · 2023-03-20T14:34:12+00:00

This kinda stuff, imho, is in the "oh, but you're one of the good muslims" category...

GltyUntlPrvnInncnt · 2023-03-20T15:28:27+00:00

Well, TwoX is a misandrist shit hole, so that can be expected.

Imissyourgirlfriend2 · 2023-03-20T16:09:34+00:00

My ex did similar. Said men gatekeep women out of places.

There's reasons she is my ex and this was one of them.

lordluke10 · 2023-03-20T17:22:18+00:00

"god, i fucking hate women"

"Oh not you honey, you're obviously excluded"

Arguesovereverythin · 2023-03-20T16:10:25+00:00

I don't know how you could read TwoX and keep your sanity. You should stop. Bad for your mental health.

RatDontPanic · 2023-03-20T14:45:31+00:00

Why is it so hard for women to say "I hate how some men think this way?" Women throw a god damned shitfit if we men say "I hate how women think this way." It's time we gave women some loud pushback whenever they say that - in large numbers. Let them know that shit won't fly. You say that BS prepare to face public scorn.

dontcareaboudit · 2023-03-20T14:26:09+00:00

Women talk that way. “You always forget to take out the trash”. “You never tell me that you love me”. This language difference is real, books have been written about this phenomenon.

Fun-Hedgehog-8962 · 2023-03-20T15:17:07+00:00

One of the things that bothers me about this is I’ve seen women do most of what they’re complaining about from men. I’ve had narcissistic ex girlfriends so I’ve seen some of the worst of it, but I’m not going to generalize women by saying “women do this, women are that” etc. Narcissists are narcissists regardless of gender.

I saw one on twoX the other day saying men are dumb because they don’t understand consent and get pushy. Yet they ignore that a lot of women do the same thing, especially if they’re not used to hearing no to a sexual advance?? How many of you have been called gay or screamed at by a girlfriend when you were too tired after a long day? Or had to stay up convincing a crying girlfriend that you’re still attracted to her and end up giving in just so you can get some sleep?

vaguebiscuits · 2023-03-20T18:27:26+00:00

And the universal response from the lovely ladies at TwoX? "He's bothered because he does think that way. Run!"

Classic gaslighting. Throw shit at a guy and if he dares to speak up it's evidence! It's a real cunts trick.

Background_Duck2932 · 2023-03-20T17:28:13+00:00

You know, aside from toxic people like those in that sub and some feminists, for some reason, people have developed the thought that if someone is against something, it's because they represent that thing. It makes no sense to me. That's like the conundrum of someone sounding guilty if they deny their involvement in something. If they can't deny it, what can they do? They're guilty either way.

I saw a comment on another post in this subreddit that really opened my eyes to something a little while back. Not only is this a huge generalization, saying "it's not all men" implies that it's most men. It's implying there are special cases that don't apply to this generalization. That doesn't really contest the idea that this person shouldn't be thinking that with pretty much every man they pass by.

Trev6ft5 · 2023-03-20T17:17:59+00:00

When it comes to relationship subs reddit is full of toxic feminists who link comments and OPs for dog pilling. You would think poly is a new drug that ppl are pushing onto women

I tell others that posting in such places could be unhealthy to them and their relationship if not taken with a grain of salt

themolestedsliver · 2023-03-20T17:45:46+00:00

Yeah for some reason feminists and their ilk are under the impression you need to say "all" in order for it to be a generalization....except when it's conveniently about women....

Punder_man · 2023-03-20T18:43:59+00:00

And then of course when a man makes a derogatory generalization about women and says "If you're not the type of woman who does this then it isn't about you" the response the man gets is about how its wrong to generalize based upon immutable characteristics like gender, race, age etc.. and that he's a misogynist for making that generalization.

Funny how the same logic never applies in reverse eh?

AnFGhoster · 2023-03-20T19:02:24+00:00

"Why are men we include in generalizations getting upset we're generalizing them?"

trashtony69 · 2023-03-20T19:31:04+00:00

It’s funny how men are expected to shut up and not take offence yet when a generalisation about women is made, all of a sudden they understand what men mean, they just don’t want to share that understanding with men.

The_Sneakiest_Fox · 2023-03-20T21:31:22+00:00

The way the feminism sub talks about "men", how men should act, how men should be, what men should do, what men.should say is so fucking hilarious to me.

DiscardedShard · 2023-03-20T16:43:19+00:00

Personally I disagree with this world view since I use the word women all the time and identify it with traits that women in my life who I trust and love don't have.

I think a lot of the time the issue with misandry is that their takes are laughable. Like if my gf said "omg why are all men such rapist pedophiles" I'd probably say "because you women are essentially children" lmao. This shit doesn't bother me because neither her or I or the women I keep in my life are dangerous this way.

But there are dangerous men and women in the world and IMO it's important to be able to communicate that so idk. I have mixed feelings. I also think the language we use is pretty important so I can see that also being important.

I highly doubt any of the misandrists on that horrible sub care at all though or put any thought in to it. They are more than likely just trying to verify their fragile worldviews of men bad women innocent so they can keep subservient and asleep to their own demons.

marks1995 · 2023-03-20T17:21:10+00:00

Here is the issue with what she was doing.

She was lumping all men into that group unless she knows them and knows they aren't like that. Well cool. Except that most men she doesn't know are also not a part of that group, but she just doesn't know them yet.

But it doesn't help to make those blanket statements that will be assumed true about men unless the woman in question actually knows the guy.

Significant_Hurry829 · 2023-03-20T19:16:55+00:00

on a regular basis, my couple female friends are saying “i hate men” and it really bothers me but they dont get it or care

Dunkopa · 2023-03-20T19:42:53+00:00

Honestly, I could have even believed that if they said those things with good faith and out of only frustration. But the way it seems, most of the times they say those things out of pure hate.

cheezeter · 2023-03-20T19:59:58+00:00

If you exclude him in that then you are saying that he is not a man. You could have said "I hate how a lot of men think this way ".

An0nyCrims0n · 2023-03-20T20:00:28+00:00

I swear, some women have such backwards logic, it seriously makes me question how their brain and thought process operates. They generalize men, and when innocent guys come forward to state how it’s not every single guy who does whatever the woman generalized men for, and instead of being backed up, they are bashed by other moronic feminists who say that if they complain about it, then they’re “apart of the problem.” But yet when a guy generalizes a female, and a woman claps back by saying it’s not all women, THEN that woman is defended by other women, as well as other degenerate males who are just desperate for cooch and attention from a woman.

pn1159 · 2023-03-20T20:54:06+00:00

she should have told him, "not you sweetie, you are one of the good ones"

pargofan · 2023-03-20T21:23:49+00:00

Change it to race instead of gender and then it becomes obvious how discriminatory they're being:

" 'I hate how blacks think this way but not you.' If you're not the type of black who does that, then it isn't about you"

KrazyJazz · 2023-03-20T21:56:56+00:00

I just read that quote in a highly upvoted post on TwoX...

Stop right there. We know. Everything's acceptable as long as woman says it and it's trashing 'cis', preferably white, men. Not exactly something original. Or new.

"He's bothered because he does think that way. Run!"

You do that, lady. Run. Leave the poor soul alone. He'll be better off without a brainless, sexist harpy rehashing over and over again some feminist ~~bullshit~~ 'talking points'.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-03-20T23:20:17+00:00

When you say “sorry ladies” are you talking to ALL women or just the ones who makes general comments?

That’s exactly how language works. Language is nuanced. When you leave your house and say “it’s cold” does that mean it’s cold EVERYWHERE or in your immediate vicinity?

You’re doing exactly what you’re pissed off about them doing

LukeSkywalker4real · 2023-03-20T16:29:00+00:00

Lol this sub and that sub are basically the same.

A bunch of fringe opinionated people spewing generalizations and getting mad when the other side does the same thing.

Yes, I have my problems with some posts on two x, same as I do here.

phoenician_anarchist · 2023-03-20T13:40:27+00:00

I wouldn't say that "X are Y" means that "all X are Y", rather that it's general/habitual i.e. "most X tend to be Y", but, it is somewhat ambiguous.

The only issue I take is when people do mean "all" and then hide behind the ambiguity when they're called out.

MrMacDoctor · 2023-03-20T16:36:18+00:00

taking offense and arguing an opposing point are very often conflated.

Sininenn · 2023-03-20T19:20:05+00:00

Let her run. Dude is better off without such attitudes around him.

NesVier · 2023-03-20T19:35:59+00:00

I will say to you the classic. To know if what you just said is abhorrent, try changing "men" to "black people" or "jews". Do you sound like a KKK or a nazi? Then you were, most probably, generalizing in the same way as they do.

drakoguard · 2023-03-20T19:36:28+00:00

They use that language because they want to put down ALL men. The boyfriend responding is just him falling for the trap and allows her to then began a conflict that he can’t win. Set ‘em up and knock ‘em down.

Also the whole “if you disagree you are one of those men” is nothing new, bigots have been using that argument for quite some time. Just substitute men for say Muslims or Black people and then you can see it for the hate that it is.

Ok_Cryptographer6856 · 2023-03-20T20:32:12+00:00

Women give the most garbage dating advice like never go to women they make a relationship crash and burn since they do not try to understand men generally

SpiritualCyberpunk · 2023-03-20T23:09:00+00:00

"Dog are scary" doesn't mean that just scary dogs are scary, it is stating that all dogs are scary.

"CEOs are psychopaths" means that all CEOs are psycopaths.

Try telling ChatGPT that.

Anyway, yes it can be annoying that people interpret language negatively. Try saying something about women, as they as seen as a Protected Group. It's good thought exercise though to adjust one's mind not to make generalizations. I sometimes fall into the trap of overgeneralizing, and it's not to my benefit. Even though I am also conscious of this not always referring to everyone, the mind is complex and we can subconsciously fool ourselves with inexact language.

thisherepoo · 2023-03-20T23:54:04+00:00

You said something that could easily be perceived as a blanket statement and, as expected, he perceived it as such. Now go apologize to him for what you said and clarify that only some men think the way in which the statement implied.

Title	My boyfriend thought that when I said "I hate how men think this way," that I was including him in that.
Author	GivesStellarAdvice
Upvotes	532
Comments	101
Date	March 20, 2023 1:19 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/11wiojh/my_boyfriend_thought_that_when_i_said_i_hate_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-boyfriend-thought-that-when-i-said-i-hate-how.1186966 https://theredarchive.com/post/1186966

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