This is why we can't share our past - LVM will make it about them and use it against you

_differentmentality_ · 2021-03-26T19:21:19+00:00

“he didn’t date but he made sure his needs were met after splitting with his ex” no thank you 🚮

Charming-Bee-2337 · 2021-03-26T19:24:44+00:00

So its okay is he sleeps around yet he cant look at her the same because he thinks she did? Dump him. Ugh I could never put up with that, beyond annoying.

Fuckdoesithurt956 · 2021-03-26T19:25:11+00:00

he says it's different because I am a woman and he is a man

Yep. That's the crux of it. Everything he adds to this statement like "it didn't mean anything" is just embellishment, because everything pivots around this point. He says it's different because I am a woman and he is a man.

I hope she dumps him.

DallasOMalley · 2021-03-26T19:27:45+00:00

My 2 cents: Her husband is trying to prod her into ending things, because he's too chickenshit to do it himself. And then once she does, he'll continue to whine and blame her, even though he'll have gotten what he wanted.

MulticoloredCatMug · 2021-03-26T20:01:46+00:00

Classic example of a man who considers himself a whole person with a complex and nuanced personality, while he considers his wife an object he owns and is resentful that he has to think about how he got her second hand.

seraphinelysion · 2021-03-26T19:41:27+00:00

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catlady4u · 2021-03-26T19:46:20+00:00

This was a hard lesson to learn. I told my most recent ex personal stuff about my past, and when we would argue, he would throw it in my face. What a piece of shit the men are, who behave like this.

Jinxhourglass · 2021-03-26T20:54:28+00:00

To whoever sees this comment do not mention jack shit because even if isn’t used against you, your story will now be told to others behind your back. Also TW for rape.

I was in a zoom gathering and a mutual invited their Nigel. We were all discussing relationships and the Nigel started talking about an ex girlfriend from 10 years ago, who after two years of dating him, confided in him that in the past she was coerced into sex acts she felt were demeaning by her partner of 7 years. He said he had this image of her in his head and by finding that out it completely ruined his perception of her so they broke up.

I asked why he saw her differently when it was long before him and she didn’t consent to it, and he explained that it was because he felt like what she did was “dirty” and he wondered why someone would “put themselves in that situation.” She didn’t put herself into any situation someone forced this on her!

Anyway, she told him this in confidence and now it’s an anecdote he tells at parties or to future girlfriends so they can feel bad for him and give him pity sex. “Woe is me, I just want to find a good woman with no baggage but it’s sooo hard.” Ugly. While he never told us her name and none of us have met her, the weight her narrative is carrying is now being brought into places it shouldn’t be in.

AlextheAnalyst · 2021-03-26T20:33:04+00:00

He's not even upset about her actual past tho - he's upset about a bunch of stuff that he made up. He needs to be assessed by a professional with these delusions.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-03-26T21:33:36+00:00

This POS isn't an introvert if he's been out there finding and using random women for years. He's just sullen, moody, and antisocial.

KateJ1982 · 2021-03-26T21:11:24+00:00

Oh FFS. Beyond the screaming double standard here, he's clearly making this up to punish her for something and/or to lay the groundwork for blaming her for his cheating. He obviously knew she wasn't a virgin when they married, she has a son. I just hope she doesn't have kids with this scrote before she comes to her senses and leaves him.

lillylilacladybug · 2021-03-26T19:11:00+00:00

Well he’s right on one thing- she very clearly did settle unfortunately.

Platipus6 · 2021-03-26T23:23:29+00:00

This dude is marinating in red pill shit. Check his browsing history sis haha

throwaway32132134 · 2021-03-26T21:33:36+00:00

He doesn't respect her. Him saying their relationship is "nothing special." is so disrespectful. I would be livid, WTF. Divorce, sorry not sorry.

fds_account58 · 2021-03-26T19:31:07+00:00

“His needs” top kek sex is NOT A NEED

princessdiane · 2021-03-26T20:14:42+00:00

I don't agree with the takeaway of this. This lady never slept around and had three relationships in the past. We can't even share this level of info with men? Nah, I'm not interested in hiding my past like that. If a man tries to hold that against me, he can gtfo and look for a virgin instead.

I do agree that you don't need to go sharing body count or past sexual acts because that's nobody's business, nor do you need to share past trauma or your sensitivities because that can be used against you. But sharing the fact that you were in a sorority and have been in relationships before? Lmao, trying to use that against a women speaks volumes about them, and the takeaway is to dump the misogynist, not to hide your past and pretend to be a virginal bride.

MismatchedEyeliner · 2021-03-26T22:57:02+00:00

This is part of the reason we need to have and enforce boundaries and standards.

Do not marry a man who is obsessed with your past.

Do not marry a man who thinks less of you because of it.

Do not marry a man who wallows in angst.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-03-26T19:17:20+00:00

Wow dump him, he’s crap 💩

2021-03-27T02:19:14+00:00

Abuse. In a year she’ll ask how she can leave him without being beaten up.

2021-03-27T04:20:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

dembar126 · 2021-03-26T23:57:22+00:00

He's projecting.

_queeeen_ · 2021-03-27T07:03:05+00:00

NVM will use literally any vulnerability against you, even if it’s from 5 minutes ago, or a hypothetical into your future. Yes, be careful about what you share. But realize that they’ll weaponize anything if they want to.

Donttellmehow2feel · 2021-03-27T00:55:42+00:00

This one is in my TOP 3 reminders about men.

IAteTheDragon · 2021-03-27T10:38:14+00:00

They treat sexual encounters as badges of honour so he's most likely jealous and butt hurt to be less experienced. What a loser 🤏🏼

Mind-Objective · 2021-03-27T03:06:21+00:00

Lol omg is he seriously using his gender and gender norms to give him a free pass?

What trash.

Title	This is why we can't share our past - LVM will make it about them and use it against you
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	281
Comments	45
Date	March 26, 2021 7:08 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mdvy6l/this_is_why_we_cant_share_our_past_lvm_will_make/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-is-why-we-cant-share-our-past-lvm-will-make.1187461 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187461

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