Female culture in the US perpetuates damaged women

Safinated · 2023-03-25T16:49:09+00:00

It’s not “female culture”. We’re just not perpetually thirsty and hunting like men. We will never be offering free pussy on the side of the road to any interested party

PiscesPoet · 2023-03-25T18:53:06+00:00

There are risks to women approaching men. We’re told if he was really interested he would have approached us. So we don’t want to end up with uninterested men who are only agreeing because they figured they could sex out of it. They also risk being called thirsty, desperate, loose etc.

But at the same time, it makes me thing because it’s not like the guys who are most likely to approach are any more serious anyway. They could just be approaching to use you, not really interested but pretending like they are to get something.

But honesty, it’s mostly because we’ve been told “if he wanted to, he would” so take it as a lack of interest

JNRoberts42 · 2023-03-25T09:14:52+00:00

All they have to do is consume content that men are putting out, and judge it to decide if it's good enough for them to keep watching.

I spent hours this evening at a pub crawl ending with a club. I was the DD so sober and nothing to do but observe the people around me and dance a little.

Popular men who are outgoing and successful with women love to perform. As I spent most of the night at tables alone I was approached a dozen or more times by loud, flexing, boisterous men with lots of stories, complaints about how sore their muscles were, and a handful of free drinks which I passed along to others. Those men love attention and seek it at every opportunity, especially from women. They want to take the lead and impress women, and this disinterested women seemed to compel them to try harder. One idiot walked on his hands up the old rickety steps to the restaurant above the pub.

I can understand how asocial or analytical men and those anywhere near the spectrum find the expectation of performance to be exhausting and frustrating. Those men are performing for the wrong crowd, they should be spending time with similarly quiet and reflective women.

Women, on the other hand, culturally assume the expectation to just wait for men to initiate.

Every variation of this statement is incredibly uncomfortable to read. Those men I described previously get approached and asked out all the time by women who fit in with their crowd. They get approached on OLD, too, as like attracts like.

Men who are alone, unsmiling, who don’t seem to be gregarious or much fun are not going to get approached by those women, and probably won’t get approached by lone, unsmiling, introverted, or quiet women because it isn’t in either of their nature to just walk up and hit on strangers.

Social interactions for loners or anyone remotely neurodivergent will be difficult and fraught. All social interactions, not just dating, because the behavior and relentless scrutiny of social cues makes things uncomfortable. This is where the RP fails men. Men inform one another to emulate men they cannot and wouldn’t want to be, and to pursue women who don’t prefer them.

Telling women up front “I’m kinda shy, have nerdy hobbies, I like to read, not a fan of clubs or loud music… along with a list of hobbies and interests would go a long way in relating to others who share the same habits.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-03-25T09:16:03+00:00

Things like this I’m just never going to understand where ya’ll are living that come out with this conclusion

Going on nights out with groups of friends or in the classrooms or even in jobs people find chemistry between each other and start to get closer together. If your going to base your entire dating experience online , especially tinder where there are 8 men to every 2 women of course your going to struggle

Thatshygurl · 2023-03-25T14:55:13+00:00

My fear about initiating contact with men is not only the fear of rejection, but I feel like I’ve been told that as a woman if you approach a man you look desperate. Do men feel this way though?

Twinseo09 · 2023-03-25T15:22:50+00:00

So women are damaged because it’s affecting men chance of dating her? Lol I’m not taking this post serious.

MistyMaisel · 2023-03-25T13:50:48+00:00

So, I don't agree with your first premise to begin with. Is it that men are expected to initiate or is it that men initiate because they're more interested in a certain kind of non committed and dehumanized mechanical sex than we are. Is it that we want a relationship and commitment and a story and friendship which takes time? I'd claim it is the latter. I wasn't interested in dating or men beyond little crushes until maybe 18 and even then, I wasn't go out of my way interested in it and really never have been. And that's a fairly common experience among women from what I've seen. Men on the other hand, seem to be quite quite interested in women and you can barely stop them from initiating and our attempts to stop them have been met with backlash by young men angry that we don't enjoy their initiating. I'd really reconsider this "men are expected to initiate" narrative as a cultural pressure rather an internal desire to get women they feel. It is true, I do expect men will initiate, because nothing has stopped them since I turned 13. But it isn't some weird finger snapping "it's on you, boo boo". I simply know like the tide men cannot be stopped from trying to get women. This doesn't make us lazy or inactive, quite the opposite, we become masters of avoidance, misdirection, defense, and continuing to pursue our interests despite the energy lost to the tide of men who won't leave us alone. And there's no real sense of superiority here, if anything, it makes most of us feel inferior because our wishes are so flagrantly ignored.

I question your second premise particularly since it suggests you've not gotten a lot out of television, but there are entire fields dedicated to studying what we learn from media. Passive indeed. Women learn much from observation and perception of men. You'd be judgmental too if you'd seen the shit we had. Perceptive as well. There's a reason most women who've paid attention can call spades spades so well by the age of 30. We were learning.

I largely agree with your take on slut shaming until the end. It doesn't make us those things, it makes us unwilling to share with those we do not deem as safe. Men and women who make us feel safe discover the passions and loves that we've kept guarded from the world. And again, defensiveness is appropriate and would be appropriate without slut shaming since men hardly have our best interests at heart normally.

We're open to male issues when they don't involve us having to be the ones to solve them or when the solutions don't come at our expense. We've done that before and women throwing off oppression was all about not doing that anymore. The problem is we did it for so long, a part of men still sort of thinks it is on us to solve this stuff when it clearly isn't. I also think we can relate effortlessly to men when we choose to. Most of us aren't choosing to outside of particular men because it's not smart or our place to do.

I don't see any problems outside maybe slut shaming here. All I see is women getting blamed for the behavior of men and our tactical intelligence in dealing with this. It isn't really some culture in that sense. This is action and reaction. That certainly builds a culture, but you're not going to get men to calm down about trying to get women. And you aren't going to get women to seek men out that hard.

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-03-25T19:28:21+00:00

Before birth control and paternity test and social services there was a good reason to opress women's sexuality...but everyone was oppressed at somepoint throughout history at some point.

Sure women couldn't vote or get credit cards but men had to go labor in coal mines and sailing ships or sent off to die in bloody wars.

African American American men especially had it bad I've heard stories of Nazi war prisoners getting preferential treatment of Black US soldiers..

The largest mass execution in US history was of Black Soldiers who stood up against oppression..

But to bring it back to before birth control pregnancy was a serious issue...in a time before social services, welfare WIC section 8 ...you would have single mothers every where,homeless on the streets with their starving children.

For example There's a family in yr 1900 the family has 4 daughters those daughters go out get pregnant by Chad now the family is stuck feeding all these extra mouths they probably can't afford.

Or a husband has a wife in yr 1900 wife is out running the streets gets pregnant that husband has no confidence that's his Child...He abandons her now she's homeless starving on the street.

By keeping women in the home encouraging marriage shunning thot culture prosecuting adultery it kept society stable...kept single mother and fatherles children rates low.

Now with paternity test social services and birth control controlling female sexuality is not as imperative but picture this if they got rid of social services today how many women and children would be on the street starving.

DXBrigade · 2023-03-25T11:17:19+00:00

As a woman, I agree but it's not an american thing in particular. We should encourage women to be more assertive. A lot of women have a passive if not defensive stance when it comes to dating.

autisticgoober · 2023-03-26T12:42:30+00:00

Stop perpetuating the myth that women suffered from worse “oppression” than men. A high class woman had a much better life than a commoner man who was used for labour and dying in some battle.

2023-03-25T14:22:06+00:00

Wrong just wrong.

Women arent opressed if anything they’re doing better than men in the west in every metric other than common sense and respect.

Usa doesn’t slut shame unless a man is looking for long term partner. Women don’t want to approach men which means men are left to approach women if they don’t want to be single.

It’s all women’s fault

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wtknight · 2023-03-25T13:46:50+00:00

Expecting women to initiate and female slut shaming is probably even worse in more traditional countries. I'm not sure what country's women that you think are ideal.

gate18 · 2023-03-26T15:18:48+00:00

It's not just US, levels might vary a bit but it's all over the place, and it's always been this way. Women are indoctrinated to take the back seat

That pressure makes men develop responsibility and leadership in order to find a fulfilling relationship.

Bullshit. Just going around any women hoping to get luck isn't leadership or responsible.

Now. The power and responsibility to say no. The power and leadership to be able to set boundaries (especially when being called a slut is a norm) that's 100% unlike watching TV. 100% unlike just throwing a net and waiting for a chat.

Imagine being and investor and you just throw/invest money on every company you see. VS being careful to select. And then being called a slut for every mistake you make. From witch trials to now old men trying to control your reproductive system - you don't know what "watching tv" is LOL

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-03-27T23:12:13+00:00

Our culture dictates that men are expected to initiate,

Less now than ever before in human history. It's true, it's mostly men initiating and women are discouraged from it from a lot of people, told it looks too desperate or too "unladylike" (you mentioned women are discouraged from expressing desire, thank you for acknowledging that) but a growing number of us still do it.

One of the top/most popular dating apps is predicated on only women being allowed to initiate.

There's also a huge sense in our culture that women are oppressed, which... I don't know how oppressed I think women really are currently

We are denied life-saving medical treatment that would never be denied to men, on the basis of our wombs being considered more important than us. We are denied life-saving medication even if we are not pregnant "just in case" we become pregnant in the future.

Title	Female culture in the US perpetuates damaged women
Author	wannabesocialguy
Upvotes	31
Comments	151
Date	March 25, 2023 5:31 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/121bz1m/female_culture_in_the_us_perpetuates_damaged_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/female-culture-in-the-us-perpetuates-damaged-women.1187966 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187966

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