in your opinion is it ok to dump good partner for a better one?

1ChoseWeasely · 2022-12-11T09:28:56+00:00

It’s okay to leave a relationship that you don’t want to be in for any reason, even if neither partner did anything specifically wrong. However, I think most people who leave a stable and generally good (if settled) long-term relationship because they met someone they’re getting a lot of NRE excitement from, and can’t see that for what it is, will generally regret it. And the hurt that will cause their partner given that it comes out of the blue is staggering.

Academic-Principle14 · 2022-12-11T08:24:58+00:00

It’s ok if the relationship isn’t serious. It’s disgusting if you claim to love your partner.

IMO, if you do this to someone you claim to “love”, that means you never actually loved that person. You were never really committed to your partner to begin with and you have no concept of loyalty. If you’ve actually built a meaningful connection with someone, there’s no way you’d leave them to chase after someone else just because they are “better” than your current partner in certain superficial categories.

This is probably the biggest problem in dating today.

Anykindofland · 2022-12-11T08:28:01+00:00

I am absolutely not interested in making this rat race that is modern dating even more ruthless. As long the current relationship is fine I'm not interested in throwing it all away.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-12-11T09:04:59+00:00

I absolutely do not care what you do or why, but I would have opinions about one of my friends who was this fucking vapid.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-12-11T11:57:36+00:00

it is generally frowned upon to do this to someone you claim to love.

it’s also a stupid risk based on your perception that the other person might be a better partner, but you actually have no idea.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-12-11T14:54:38+00:00

I remember saying once to a girl “you are really awesome and are actually the perfect girlfriend. You just aren’t the perfect girlfriend for me. And she ended up with a great guy and they were great together. It’s not always about “better” sometimes it’s about “what’s best for the both of you”

Dudes here act like there’s a scoreboard outside and someone goes. “Oh shit! Ted from Accounting just upgraded his wife to a trophy wife! He’s in the top three now and he might be winning!” Winning what exactly?

Blame_the_Muse · 2022-12-11T08:18:37+00:00

If you're just dating, yes.

If you're married, no.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-12-11T11:25:49+00:00

If you aren't happy with someone, then it's okay to dump them. You're not obligated to stay in any relationship. And if you want to "upgrade" your partner, you clearly aren't happy with them. Of course your partner doesn't have to be okay with it. But you should always be free to leave as others are free to judge you for your choices.

Any_Championship_654 · 2022-12-11T14:19:23+00:00

It's not 'okay' but people with options do it all the time anyway.

Jambi1913 · 2022-12-11T08:40:16+00:00

It’s already frowned upon and that is the way it should stay. I don’t know anyone who thinks it’s perfectly understandable to up and leave a good, loving, loyal partner because you’ve met someone “better”. Basically everyone sees that as shallow, disloyal and selfish.

2022-12-11T09:50:02+00:00

Yea it's a no for me

Murphysmongoose · 2022-12-11T15:10:51+00:00

It sounds like really bad juju or karma for you. Some sort of regret will have to come out of this later. The, "upgrade" cheats on you or something.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2022-12-11T16:48:33+00:00

Or dumping completely fine loyal, loving wife of n years for younger and more attractive girl

Never in a million years would it even cross my mind. The only way I'd ever leave is if she quit on the relationship.

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-12-11T17:26:21+00:00

I think that would be real dumb bc the better one is probably not better.

NJFlowerchild · 2022-12-11T14:13:37+00:00

I'd want my husband to leave if he felt like that. You are not in love with your spouse if you're having these thoughts. You should either commit to fixing your bond or leave and allow both of you to be happy.

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Queasy-Cherry-11 · 2022-12-11T14:28:14+00:00

It shows you are shallow in what you consider 'better'. That you consider looks more valuable than someone who knows you inside and out, and has supported and loved you through the hard times. I don't think it should be normalized or frowned upon, its just sad, and those people are going to live pretty empty lives.

Lord_Thanos · 2022-12-11T15:49:12+00:00

Money doesn’t make someone better. And I doubt that person is that much more confident for there to be an apparent difference. How are you measuring confidence?

Really I think the only variable that you would actually consider is physical attractiveness. You add the other nonsense so as to not seem shallow.

wtknight · 2022-12-11T16:21:16+00:00

If you're not married and made an oath to stay with a person, then it's okay to dump anybody for anybody else. Just don't cheat doing it.

Says_Who22 · 2022-12-11T19:38:11+00:00

No. Someone who thinks of a partner as something that can be ‘upgraded’ is treating a person as a thing and needs to take a long hard look at themselves. Cos at the moment, they aren’t good enough for their current ‘partner’.

despisedlove2 · 2022-12-11T19:40:11+00:00

Depends on who you are. Women make that choice every day.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-12-11T10:49:49+00:00

No, it's disgusting to do that.

ManWazo · 2022-12-11T09:38:06+00:00

Just date both

ohdiddly · 2022-12-11T12:28:08+00:00

Yes. You have one short life and it's fair to want to live that life to the fullest & happiest.
You should strive to be the best partner you can be, and also strive to be with the best partner you could have, if that's what's important to you.

lacuti3 · 2022-12-11T08:31:19+00:00

There was a time in my life where I wasn’t happy with my relationship and thought about branch swinging (because I look better than most girls and know I could get a “better” guy) but then I realized after talking a lot of guys that he’s less annoying than other guys. Lmao I think every man would want their girlfriend or wife to realize he’s less annoying than other guys. That’s the ultimate appreciation imo.

If your girlfriend or wife hasn’t realized then she doesn’t really like you it’s all hormones and self delusion. It has to be true though that you’re less annoying than other guys and I’m willing to bet it’s not 😬

Ok-Needleworker-774 · 2022-12-11T17:07:49+00:00

Ummmm. What makes you think that if you have a partner now you would be able to get a “better” one? You sound like you’re already cheating/shopping. It’s fairly easy to find a mistress/lover who can give you all the positives and none of the drama and make you believe that the grass is greener. It’s VERY difficult to find another good human being - flaws and all - to share your life with.

If you don’t want to be with your current partner, leave them. Be alone. But don’t use your relationship as a fallback as you shop for an upgrade. That’s what most cowards do, and the success rate of that mistress/lover turning into the love of your life forever is not good. 2-3% success rate, estimated.

https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2005-04-13-0504120428-story.html

my_alt_has_alts · 2022-12-11T17:39:08+00:00

If you want to "upgrade" that's because you were not happy to begin with.

I would never want to be with someone that thinks they could do better but stay with me because I'm the comfort zone, that's terrible. I much rather be alone than in that situation.

To stay even if you are not happy is wasting the other person's time. Let them free to find someone more suitable.

gate18 · 2022-12-11T18:07:12+00:00

I'm absolutely fine with that.

That's partly why people break up. They don't like the person that is with.

Calling it an "upgrade" is wrong. Not as morally or socially wrong, but as in just not true.

You've been with a "good partner" for 5 years. And other men/women walk around with a bar code showing that they are an upgrade compared to your partner's barcode?

Isn't this something an inxperienced person would say? Surely someone that has been in a long relationship would know that it's not that easy to know whether the "new" person in front of you is an upgrade to the person you've shared years with.

So if we take that into account, then it's just "is it ok to dump someone I no longer like" - sure.

Someone wrote

It’s disgusting if you claim to love your partner.

You wouldn't dump a partner you love for a hypothetical upgrade.

"I've been with my gf for five years, I love her so much, she's funny, she's kind, our world view match, the sex is great"

"... but I know that woman over there is an upgrade, she'd be funnier, hor world view will match even more, she's surely kinder, and she will know exactly what to do in bed"

Yeah right.

WalterYWH · 2022-12-11T08:31:37+00:00

Depends, l would have Sex with a younger and attractive women but l still wouldn't leave my loyal and loving wife

TrailWraith · 2022-12-11T12:53:56+00:00

Would have said no until recently, but having accepted women’s hypergamous nature I feel like I now have a duty to upgrade to a better model should the opportunity present itself. A system is only as good as its weakest link.

2022-12-11T23:27:56+00:00

Women are hypergamous and do it all the time. Men like younger women and upgrades so we do it too. Tis life

Final_Philosopher663 · 2022-12-12T00:24:19+00:00

For this reason plus others something was invented called "marriage" :P .

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-12-13T16:33:44+00:00

Why was the person in the prior relationship to begin with lmao? No it is not ok to be in a relationship with someone you aren’t happy with.

Title	in your opinion is it ok to dump good partner for a better one?
Author	eye_fuck
Upvotes	1
Comments	66
Date	December 11, 2022 8:15 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zikho6/in_your_opinion_is_it_ok_to_dump_good_partner_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/in-your-opinion-is-it-ok-to-dump-good-partner-for.1208176 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208176

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