I got bullied in the gym, should I of fought the guy?

cageypenguin · 2015-10-12T13:38:21+00:00

you pay the gym for a safe environment free of this shit.

you're an adult, not a kid in high school anymore.

shrug him off, inform the gym staff that you were pushed around and shoved down to the ground in their gym. chances are, this is not the first complaint they got about mr.squat-rack-curls

1NV0K3R · 2015-10-12T13:49:22+00:00

Dude was doing curls in the squat rack?

You could probably get him removed for that alone lmao

Archwinger · 2015-10-12T13:47:42+00:00

Gym assholes piss me off. Whenever I see a skinny dude or a fatass, I yield equipment to them. Those guys need the gym way more than I do.

TankVet · 2015-10-12T16:18:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

pdtrading · 2015-10-12T14:37:22+00:00

Ill give you the best advice possible kid. It helped me when I needed it. "Fuck him". A fight doesn't need to be a fight. Bigger guys use intimidation in order to scare off ppl, its a basic animalistic thought process. But they have more to loose. They work harder for their size. You should learn to fight, and eat, and lift to grow yourself. Use this as a catalyst to evolve and get to the next better stage of yourself.

As for the gym, if you can change it, do so. If not, ignore the faggot who doesn't squat, and make friends with the bigger dudes. Be cool and humble about it. Loose your negative mindset of being lanky. This faggot was there at one point prior to the roids. When I started at my gym, I was tear drop body. Overly happy, and tried to be cool with ppl. As I lifted and grew myself, my body transformed, I put headphones on and tuned the world out when I lifted, if they wanted my bar, Id tell them straight, hey Im using it, but you can join me, and I ended up not only getting aesthetic as fuck, I also made friends with both the bigger and little guys. I treat them the same. THey dont make a difference. If somebody wants to fight me, because this is the iron testosterone temple, I humor it. Im not conventional in that mindset. "Sure lets fight, and I can fuck you in the ass right after." "you want to fight, what are you 10. Your not worth my time nor money nor effort, but Ill humor you."

Put your headphones on, tune the world out, and grow! Treat everybody the same, make friends with the bigger guys! Making friends doesn't mean seek approval. Dont seek approval. When in doubt ignore them! Most importanly. READ NO MORE MR. NICE GUY! It'll change your life kid!

VasiliyZaitzev · 2015-10-12T18:11:23+00:00

If I owned a gym, the LAST thing I would want is some dickweed with a sloping, simian forehead pissing off paying customers b/c he has a micropeen......

fasterpussycatdie · 2015-10-12T19:36:38+00:00

For fucks sake. It's should HAVE, would HAVE. NOT "OF" JESUS FUCK!!!

SnarkyFella · 2015-10-12T18:06:05+00:00

I'm getting pissed just reading this. Go to the staff the next time you see that guy in the gym. Don't back down again.

third-eye-brown · 2015-10-12T13:37:18+00:00

Learning to fight is super important if you want to be 100% alpha.

That being said, modern society has put up safeguards so you are unlikely to need to test this if you want to avoid it.

Like others said, report him to gym management and say he is harassing and assaulting you. Write up some documentation with a timeline with the shit he did to you. Its certainly not as manly as kicking his ass but you deserve to work out there too. Fuck him.

Fighting is a bit over rated since anyone can pull out a knife or gun and cause you serious injury in a couple seconds. It's not worth it, especially when you consider the possible legal ramifications for yourself.

Longest_username · 2015-10-13T00:12:13+00:00

Here's what you should have done.

fagbro: how many sets do you have left? You: 2 sets He walks away

You do first set and hold the bar while you rest then you do your last set.

You dont leave after doing your set and expect the person not to take the bar.

By leaving you communicated you are done.

If you go back and he's doing his set - you wait for him to finish and then after he's done you say: Hey bro, Mind if i bust out 1 more set?

You dont grab it and try and take the bar. This automatically sets the confrontation to physical.

Half the battle in being a good fighter is being street smart enough to avoid a fight.

bicepsblastingstud · 2015-10-12T17:10:23+00:00

Should I [have] fought him?

Nope, something like that most likely isn't worth it -- especially if he had a friend there. However...

Is learning how to fight important as ~~an alpha~~ a man?

Yes.

You're not ashamed because you didn't fight. You're ashamed because you were afraid to. Understand the distinction? If you'd had the ability to win the fight and had chosen not to engage, you wouldn't feel the shame that you do now. But because you are unable, the decision was taken out of your hands.

You must learn to defend yourself. Protecting yourself and the people around you is the core of masculinity. Civilization was built by violent men.

Harness the shame you're feeling and use it to build yourself.

tautologicoxymoron · 2015-10-12T14:11:54+00:00

Fighting for no fucking reason other than when your life is in actual danger is stupid in modern society. Next time, go discretely to one or two bystanders and ask them if they saw and go to the gym management. The asshat in question lost his gym membership by offering to fight you in the parking lot. In modern day politically correct everybody-be-comfortabel-mmkay culture, you now feel unsafe and want him removed. You win.

Futdashukup · 2015-10-12T18:44:00+00:00

You feel like a bitch. But at least you spoke up to him! Now, use that feeling to train yourself into a big, strong motherfucker. You are young, so there is plenty of time to improve your physique. You need weights to get bigger, but you need to do a martial art. I recommend Muay Thai. Don't worry dude. Everyone goes through shit like this. Take it as a warning - reality has told you something about yourself. Change yourself to change reality. If you do Martial arts training, you need to give it time - at least 18 months. Don't expect to be a badass overnight.

[deleted] · 2015-10-12T14:20:14+00:00

Say he offered you steroids and became hostile when you declined.

FrameWalker · 2015-10-12T15:53:33+00:00

So what do you guys think I should of done? Should I of fought him? Is learning how to fight important as an alpha?

Absolutely No. No fighting. Are you in the western world? If so go talk to management. If he touches you file assault charges. Are you in Mexico, Africa, or some other lawless place like south side of Chicago/Atlanta/Detroit? Just let it go and move on. Avoid.

Reddthrown · 2015-10-12T14:10:00+00:00

Once you gain some size and confidence, you won't care about that sort of crap. And when that happens, shit from assholes will diminish drastically.

drallcom3 · 2015-10-12T17:36:59+00:00

Report him to the management and to the police for assault, if you want to do something about it and not just whine around.

Tiway22 · 2015-10-12T18:19:45+00:00

NEVER fight unless its for self defense. There is no point. Call the cops on his ass and also get him banned from the gym. Fuck this guy as hard as you can legally.

writewhereileftoff · 2015-10-12T19:08:36+00:00

What the fuck. Just reading this story pisses me off and I wouldn't call myself a fighter. Learn how to fight. Let this be the fucker you thank later for learning how to fight. Once you do & you no longer smell like prey bullies will magically dissapear. That I can guarantee.

ChairBorneMGTOW · 2015-10-12T19:36:28+00:00

I'd make a complaint to the gym owner.

If the gym owner doesn't address the issue right away and put that piece of shit in his place, then escalate - CALL THE COPS. What he did was assault.

Then it's up to you whether you want to demand a refund of your fees for the gym's inaction on the issue - and post about your experience on Yelp and let the world know what assholes are there.

Sdom1 · 2015-10-12T21:42:35+00:00

Fighting is the most retarded way to handle anything. Remember, adults who fight tend to get arrested and charged, and that's when they're lucky. There have been plenty of 50 year old guys that have gotten pine boxed because they got beer muscles, got knocked out and smacked their heads on asphalt when thy fell. You don't want nor need that shit on account of some dipshit juicehead.

All that being said, if you want to prevent that situation from happening, putting on 30 lbs of muscle and learning to box and wrestle/submission grapple will solve that problem really fast.

You'd be surprised, a lot of juiceheads aren't all that dangerous once you get beyond the physical strength. They don't have good punching technique, they tire out quickly, and if you know how to wrestle and put on some weight, they won't be able to ragdoll you.

But let me repeat, fighting should be a last resort. He's a dumbass who doesn't think things through. Don't be that guy.

stickfiguresk · 2015-10-12T22:40:37+00:00

If he bullies you about equipment again, inform the staff. If he ever touches you again, or even threatens you on the street, call the police. The worst reaction you'll get from a cop is "I can't arrest him for that" but they'll at least show up. Do it every time he does something illegal. The cops we'll convince him to leave you alone.

Insecure manlets are a menace. What kind of gym do you go to? Like a planet fitness? Any gym around here would have ganged up on a dude like that and the biggest dude would've Frisbee'd a 45 at him. Find a powerlifting gym, if you like powerlifting exercises. Big dudes, especially insecure ones would NEVER let shit like that happen around them.

2BigBottlesOfWater · 2015-10-13T01:15:50+00:00

Yeah man wtf. 1. Tell staff about what happened inside and out, its probably even on tape so I'd escalate this.

You're not the bitch in this, he is. That's some d-bag bs right there.
Fuck him, you're in there for this reason. Don't hold back.. You go to the gym to get big and that's what you should continue doing. The next time you see him, don't comment.. But if he does, you say "are you still crying about that shit".

FreelanceTradeCraft · 2015-10-12T14:01:21+00:00

If you fight these days there will be 10 administrators and 12 cops there and you're lucky if a felony charge is avoided. If you go to the authorities and whine you're sure as hell not an alpha. You have to be intimidating enough with your energy to avoid this situation in the first place, and calm enough that when it happens you can walk away holding frame.

thor_away92 · 2015-10-12T15:54:23+00:00

Okay OP here's the deal. You pussed out. That's okay. That's why you're here. To change that. You didn't stick up to the bully. Should you have started a fight? NO. Should you have been ready to fight? YES.

"But fighting?! That's so barbaric!"

You know what, it is. It's fucking stupid and childish. That's not the point. The point is enduring physical danger is part of being a god damn man. Fighting is part of physical danger. Defending yourself is manhood. If you must take a fighting class and BE SURE TO SPAR. Get your ass kicked.

Get hit with a night stick on the head and back over a drug deal. Get robbed at gun point. Break my collar bone snowboarding too fast and hard. Seperate my shoulder doing too big of a bench. Real pain toughens you the fuck up. Makes a man out of you. Don't go killing yourself though.

Physical pain is inevitable thus approach it like a man. And being ready for pain, READY TO FIGHT. Will much better equip you for future instances like these. Because it will happen again, maybe even when you're with a girl. Do you want to be ready to win or ready to tuck your tail between your legs and be super embarrassed?

Plus once you get banged up, being rejected by an entitled 7 is a hilarious offense and won't phase you.

I've encountered tons of douchebags like this at the gym in my journey to get swoll.

Here's how you handle it for the future.

Instance one; go to the tricep pull down machine. Some dude has the curl bar,a bench he wheeled over there, and some dumbells. I proceed to use the tricep machine. This dude had a rude ass tone and said "I'm using that!". He sounded like a spoiled brat. Look at him in the eye, look at his equipment look puzzled and say "I didn't know you owned the whole gym" and proceeded to use the machine anyways.

The fucks he gonna do? Hit me? Or are we gonna do our workouts and get on with our lives like grown men? The choice is his. Plus if he hits me, I get money and he has to leave the gym.

Instance 2: Squattin for days in the rack. Super beef head approaches. "Yo I'm using that when you're done with that set." I was baffled. I've got 4 sets to go...suck my dick LOL. I put the weight up. Turned to him. The side of my body was facing him, my feet where in a fighting stance. I let my arms hang freely and I did NOT blink or break eye contact. I told him; "You're using it when I'm done. If that's an issue take it up with the front desk." He stared me down for a bit and took off with a stone expression.

Again what's he gonna do? Lunge forward? Go ahead your face is going straight into that bar and it won't move as there's 135 on each side. Go complain to the gym some guy said he was using equipment while he was using equipment?

It worked because I was ready to be attacked although I was not provoking a fight. You should have done similar.

Simply stand your ground, maintain powerful composure with eye contact and let him know your boundaries. That you're fucking using that shit and he can happily fuck right off.

He might even be ready to fight just NEVER throw the first punch. Just wait and if he came swinging go apeshit. Get your ass kicked. This way you win either way. Chances are he's a little bitch and won't. If he does, you come out sore and twice the man you were.

Don't be too hard on yourself either. You win some you lose some. The fact that you are aware of the situation, the dynamics and strive to improve and know how is progress all in itself. It's still a personal victory.

EDIT: a lot of people are going to disagree with violence is never the answer. And I agree 100%. But the need for self defense is inevitable. And the need for self respect and the need to be in charge of yourself 100% inevitably will come with a need for self defense. This is a prime example, a fight probably won't happen but when it does you'll be ready.

waynebradysworld · 2015-10-12T18:43:50+00:00

What state are u in bro? Get your carry on.

See how big and bad he feels while you have him stripped naked on the sidewalk waiting for the police to come haul him off to jail for first degree assault

hans1193 · 2015-10-12T21:15:23+00:00

Nothing never happened as much as this. It's a pretty good troll, but you took it too far with the curls in the squat rack bit.

SexistFlyingPig · 2015-10-12T23:08:57+00:00

So, his behavior is assault. If he actually lands a blow, it's assault and battery. It's illegal. You press charges after the cops show up, and the cameras in the gym (yes, there are cameras in the gym) verify what happened and he goes to fucking JAIL.

Blake55 · 2015-10-13T00:26:37+00:00

Report him. That kinda shit is dangerous inside a gym. He shouldn't be in there if he's a liability to the gym for hurting someone or making it less appealing to other customers. What an asshole. Give us an update. He's going to keep bullying you if you don't do something about it. Fighting him would be really fucking stupid thing to do. You'd lose, and want to go there even less (if you're not both already kicked out for it).

stonefit · 2015-10-13T00:30:33+00:00

No. Don't let him suck anymore of your time. He's gone, move on.

Nothing_Gazes_Back · 2015-10-13T00:58:54+00:00

This makes me absolutely furious.

First and foremost, he committed unprovoked assault in a space where there was likely a camera. Press charges.

Next, contact the gym manager and explain the situation. His membership will be revoked and he'll be able to verify your lawsuit with video evidence.

Last, please don't let this discourage you from going to the gym. It's a great place and I so rarely hear about this sort of behavior. Keep it up, man.

[deleted] · 2015-10-13T01:40:58+00:00

Don't play his game, you're smarter than that. If he's bigger than you he has a good chance of kicking your ass. Get him where it hurts, like was said in these comments, talk to the staff and get him the hell out of the gym

4benny2lava0 · 2015-10-13T02:17:57+00:00

Gyms are well covered by cameras not for security but liability. In case someone sues they will have evidence in their defense.

With that said chances are this incident is on tape. Report it and have his ass banned. I hope he didnt pre pay his membership.

MentORPHEUS · 2015-10-13T02:56:04+00:00

Something I've noticed after years of martial arts training.

Confrontations de-escalate before my eyes, without deliberate effort on my part. I attribute this to having confidence in being able to take on an attacker, so it gives me a solid, unflappable facade. Approaching bullies find their probing taunts and microaggressions don't faze me, so they abort and STFU, turn away, and leave the scene posthaste.

Only if you don't enter the bully's frame is this effective; this means not even raising your voice above "stage conversational." If you never enter his fighting frame, he can save face by "changing his mind" or whatever, with no appearance of having to back down from your 0% aggression toward him.

[deleted] · 2015-10-13T03:01:27+00:00

I can't stand it when people ask me how many sets I have left. I usually just respond with "a lot" put my headphones on and get back to work. I'm not there to make friends, wanna get my workout in and go home. Most days already take an hour and a half anyways. I don't have time to sit around socialize.

kaljanas · 2015-10-13T03:08:41+00:00

That is why you need to lift.

[deleted] · 2015-10-13T13:57:19+00:00

Damn what a piece of shit. Some guys never leave highschool.

It sounds like a bitch move getting gym staff, but honestly think it through just how retarded it would be scrapping with this faggot in the parking lot.

Next time, seek out a manager and be like "Hey, this guy literally just threw me off on the squat rack."

WingsnLV · 2015-10-13T16:09:19+00:00

You are an adult now. That is assault. Call the cops and have his stupid ass thrown in jail.

captainramen · 2015-10-12T14:03:57+00:00

If you have the space for it, buy your own set. I hate the gym and got my own for the same reason.

hamsterbator · 2015-10-12T16:34:41+00:00

Bro you are 6'2. You just started lifting. Keep lifting for 2 more years, take some martial arts. Then go meet him in the parking lot.

Use him as motivation.

cosmictap · 2015-10-12T17:25:02+00:00

should I have* for fucks sakes this is the most common mistake I see with Americans it pisses me the fuck off I don't know why

DjCbal · 2015-10-12T16:24:30+00:00

Carry a knife or a gun and ask him if being a dick is worth his life. Not EVER being treated like a punk ass bitch is worth mine

Nothing_Gazes_Back · 2015-10-12T20:17:25+00:00

You should have busted the dude in the nose. Once he gets physical, all is fair in my book. Had this once. Dude wanted to talk shit and I just agreed and amplified. Then, he realized he wasn't looking cool and pushed a little. Told him to never touch me. Did it again, and without a second delay, I clocked him in the nose. He then realized that he wasn't that big of a guy.

Being a skinny guy as well (6'0" 170lbs), I aint got time for that shit. Gotta learn to hit and get hit.

ChadTheBull · 2015-10-12T16:48:20+00:00

Gym bully masterrace reporting in. Run that bitch. I've been doing this social experiment to see who is alpha and who is beta in my gym. Turns out 99% of my gym is beta. What I'll do is I will purposely leave my weights on the bar and dumbbells on the floor after I'm done. I think I've had maybe only one or two wanna- be tough guys actually say something to me. Everyone else just deals with it. Some even rerack them for me. If this social experiment has taught me anything it's that most people are intimidated by authoritative figures and will do almost anything to avoid confrontation followed immediately by pain administrated by said authoritative figures.

FateBender · 2015-10-12T20:17:48+00:00

You should take up boxing.

As guy with severe anxiety myself (in the past I mean) taking boxing really did help. I suggest this not because you need to know how to kick some phaggot's ass if anything like what happened today happens to you again, but because of other psychological benefits it gives. It helps you to man the fuck up. I mean it. It won't even have crossed his mind to fuck with you if you had the vibe of a person who has a strong frame because he knows how to fight if it gets down to it - No matter how skinny or weak you look. It's not really about the looks. This is coming from a guy who has done lifting for years but decided to stick with boxing training.

And make sure you find a decent boxing gym. Note I said specifically boxing. Don't be a queer and don't take some kind of MMA or kickboxing classes. They're overcrowded with cardio bunnies and phaggots who're there because they just watched "Never Back Down". What you need its boxing. It will teach you how to take a punch and actually not be anxious when some jerk confronts you.

P.S make sure trainer is decent and has actually been through some shit. Disregard the aesthetics and sophistication of the gym. What you're looking for is an old rugged dude who has an "old school vibe" around him. You'll know what I'm talking about when you see him.

Best of luck man. Hope you enjoy your shot at the sweet science.

GayLubeOil · 2015-10-12T23:04:02+00:00

Sounds like great motivation I dont see what the problem is

afroose · 2015-10-12T14:29:40+00:00

You did the right thing, if you reported it you may get more problem, there's problem without solution, just use that anger and lift.

simplemo · 2015-10-12T14:05:21+00:00

Aww..what's wrong Terper. Not as alpha as you thought you were. Do you want the love of a lady to comfort you? :)

Title	I got bullied in the gym, should I of fought the guy?
Author	RepsFourJesus
Upvotes	36
Comments	162
Date	October 12, 2015 1:27 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3og6r0/i_got_bullied_in_the_gym_should_i_of_fought_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-got-bullied-in-the-gym-should-i-of-fought-the.121 https://theredarchive.com/post/121

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