Hello queens! Just wanted to share a quick story with you all.

Yesterday while I was out and about in the city, I bumped into an old acquaintance of mine. We briefly chatted about life updates and so on, and then she asked me if she can tell me something because she'd like to hear my advice. (This is important - she ended a 2-year-old toxic relationship with the worst LVM I've ever met like a few weeks ago.) She told me that a few days ago during the lunch break she was chatting to one of the guys who work in her workplace. During the conversation, he brought up the fact that his friend really, really likes her (even though didn't make any effort to personally talk to her one on one or ask her out). That's it. Now she's thinking about going out with him or even hooking up. You'll ask me WTF? I know, right? You'll ask me where is the bar? Apparently in hell.

So I immediately told her HELL NO. First of all, she just ended a horrible relationship. She needs to learn how to vet men so she doesn't end up with an LVM again, improve her self-esteem, and invest time in herself. Second of all, if this man really liked her he would ask her out. Again, if he wanted to he would. The fact that he asked his friend to tell her that he likes her shows that he already is putting in low effort because he doesn't want her that much. It is simply better to have a mommy bang maid than his hand to masturbate in the evenings. Mind you, this man is in his 40s and still playing games like a schoolboy. She already has a son, does she want another one? He did not make an effort to get to know her, they are basically strangers, therefore even if he likes her, it's purely physical. Sexual attention from men is cheap and abundant, so it's nothing special. Again, he is most likely just wanting to fuck her and enslave her with housework because it's convenient for him. Which is not convenient for her at all, because it's additional work and she's not even going to be satisfied sexually, she is going to most likely give away her body so that he masturbates in it. Because what those men have going on is not sex, that's for sure. He didn't even say a word to her and yet she's creating those scenarios in her head. Like it's not real, there's nothing to it. She didn't even think of him that way until she heard that he likes her. Only after that, she became interested in him, which is a red flag that points out her low self-esteem and a strong need for male validation. This brought me back to my starting point - she doesn't need a relationship or a situationship at the moment, she needs to heal and level up.

A minute of silence. Then she goes on to say that she doesn't want a relationship, she wants to simply see each other. To me, this sounds like "any male attention is better than no male attention" bullshit. She said that men used her and now she's gonna use them. LMAO. So you just made it so easy for men, huh? You don't need commitment, loyalty, respect, financial security, care, and tender love. You are literally willing to be a vagina on two legs that will deliver herself, not have a good time and then go home. You are literally gaining nothing and they are gaining everything. How is that fair? She then goes on to say that it sounds like I encourage her to use men and it's not fair. WHAT? In case you didn't notice, men use women ALL THE TIME. They abuse your youth, sex, body, kindness, generosity, finances, love, and many other things. And you don't even look for the bare minimum? The bar is in hell. I told her that she's better off working on herself, leveling up, and buying a vibrator.

She looked at me in disbelief for a few seconds. Then she asked me if I'm a lesbian, because of my "harsh" opinion of men. Honey, there's nothing harsh about it. I just chose to take off the pink glasses that patriarchy put on my face and look at men realistically. I'm not going to waste my time and resources on scrotes. Either you make my life better or you gtfo. Nothing in between. She then told me that she won't ever discuss her private life with me and went on about her day. I didn't have to try to convince her as it was pretty obvious that it won't work, my bad. Next time I won't be trying to help someone who doesn't need my help and use that energy on myself.

The moral of the story is that no matter how hard you try to help someone, you can't do that when that person doesn't see a problem. You can't help someone who loves to drown. Some people never learn.