is my therapist right that women do like feminine looking men?

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xvszero · 2022-03-07T19:31:04+00:00

"Women" are not a monolith, different women have different tastes.

Same with "men" really. I'm a man who has always been into kind of androgynous looking women more than the type of women that are socially considered the most beautiful. Punk girls with short / shaved hair and jeans and t-shirts and stuff. My cousin always joked and said all my crushes looked like boys. I was like... ok? That's fine?

Everyone is different. Don't worry too much about the masses, just find someone you click with.

On a side note, unless you're committed to small town life, I'd highly suggest getting out of said small town, not just for dating purposes, but for like... everything.

And stop thinking of everything in terms of race. Some people (usually racists) will only date their own race, and some people have weird race fetishes and will only date OTHER races, but most people are a little more open than this. A lot of people will date people from any race. My wife is Asian / black but that doesn't mean I don't like white or Hispanic women or anything weird like that. I didn't marry her because of her race, I married her because she's awesome.

Inareskai · 2022-03-07T18:43:05+00:00

Yes, your therapist is right that there are many women who like feminine looking men.

There are roughly 3,904,727,342 women in the world. That's just way, way, way too many for you to say 'no women like x' - because, that's 3.9 billion people, chances are very high that at least some do in fact like x.

I think your therapist is right about red cars though, because you'll say 'I only see this' but what you really mean is 'I only notice this' and that's quite different. There are probably loads of people your eyes just skim over who don't stand out to you, so you don't notice them, you only notice the red cars.

Edited to add: the last romance book I read had a male lead who had (shoulder length) blonde hair and blue eyes. I really don't think that's a 'feminine' thing. Blonde haired, blue eyed men are definitely often portrayed in a variety of media as 'hot'.

ResponsibleAd2541 · 2022-03-07T19:19:06+00:00

Your mental illness sounds like it’s playing a role here. It sounds like you are living out the invasion of the body snatchers or something, by which I mean it strikes me that you see big muscular men and black dudes dating white women everywhere and take it to be a personal threat. Maybe go meet some muscular men at the gym and some black dudes. It might help humanize them to you. They might even give you some tips and he’ll you put on some muscle or otherwise get some fitness. Worth a try, run it by the therapist maybe.

BetaNatalis · 2022-03-07T23:18:07+00:00

Disclaimer: Forgive me in advance if I have you all wrong -I’m just giving feedback based on the information you’ve provided in your post, as well as the specific verbiage you’ve chosen.

Your resentment stems from something many white men seem to have plenty of: entitlement. You are resentful that white women aren’t with you because you feel entitled to one. Worwe, you are resentful when a black man has a white partner because you feel entitled to her first. You feel that you should have “first dibs” on white women and then black men can have - what?- your rejections? Like, white men should be in the front of the line at the factory when it comes to passing out all the Caucasian girlfriend bots? This line of thinking is not just displaying some seriously dark racial opinions, but it seems like in your world women have no autonomy, no say, in who they’re with. I guess this is a common worldview for people who have poisoned themselves with TRP on any level. Women choose partners based on a number of different criteria which are a matter of personal opinion. It’s likely that, despite being attractive, your personality has some developing to do before you’re ready for a relationship.

So, why do you feel like you deserve a partner? What are some examples of what you offer that would enhance someone else’s life? Relationships should add to a person’s happiness and fulfillment, not create a bottomless pit of need where all your energy, money, thoughts, and aspirations go to fester into bitterness and depression. What non-financial attributes do you, as a man, offer that would enhance a woman’s life?

To actually answer your question, yes, many many women are attracted to your physical attributes, and yes, some might not be. It sounds like you are physically attractive, but because you don’t perfectly fit TRP’s exact description of a 6’9 ChanningTatumChadAlphaTop20%Gymbro, then you feel hideous. Women don’t want towering feet of ripped flesh and trapezium that resemble livestock any more that all men want a human Barbie doll with fake orange tan, false eyelashes, injected fish lips and butt implants. I hope this isn’t news to you, but women vary from one to the other just as much as men do; there’s no factory where we’re installed with the same “hive mind”. It’s good that you are working with a therapist because you need to deprogrammed yourself from a lot of really poisonous thoughts. I would continue to work on who you are inside, develop some hobbies, get outside. If you are a heavy gamer, consider stepping back from that a bit and pick up wood carving or turn some wooden bowls on a lathe (classes everywhere), if you are near water get a kayak, etc….and, start talking to yourself with more kindness because no one will love you if you don’t love you first.

lilycamilly · 2022-03-07T18:43:06+00:00

It depends on the woman! Some women loooove feminine-looking men. Just look at how much the whole "femboy" trend has popped off on these last couple years! Men like Pete Davidson have skyrocketed to some of the highest heights of women's desire. There's ALWAYS someone who will be super attracted to you, no matter what your body type is.

Also, I wouldn't even put blonde hair and blue eyes here, those traits are not exclusive to women. Just as many men have them as women do.

Melvin-Melon · 2022-03-08T02:03:46+00:00

It’s not your feminine traits turning people off. It’s the you think you have a right to be mad when a woman of your race dates someone outside of it. Not only does it scream racism but it also screams entitlement like those women owe you a chance over someone else because you happen to be the same race. Those women are strangers to you and owe you nothing more than any other stranger.

WannaBeA_Vata · 2022-03-07T20:38:54+00:00

Do men like onions?

juliuspepperwoodchi · 2022-03-07T22:17:16+00:00

Women are people. People like EVERYTHING.

That's REALLY oversimplified...but the simple reality is, if someone says "women only like this kind of body/personality/etc" they're ALMOST certainly wrong and at best MASSIVELY overgeneralizing.

Many women like feminine looking men. My bi wife ADORES femme and androgenous men.

2022-03-07T20:04:23+00:00

Hey, currently experiencing what you are as well. I am androgynous and very feminine and I notice the girls I like don't really like me back. I sometimes feel emasculated due to my appearance. A lot of girls feel like I am interfering on their territory where they like to be the pretty one, so sometimes some girls are insecure. My point is you never know what people are thinking, attraction is super generalized and there is no RIGHT WAY TO BE ATTRACTIVE. There are just different types of beauty. But the rise of androgyny and feminine men is real. Especially with KPOP and the cringy tiktok e boys, gotta give them some credit not gonna lie haha

I dont mean to generalize but girls that are bi-sexual or pansexual are always attracted to me, as they see attraction less than black and white and more of a grey area which is really cool! :)

cloudtatu · 2022-03-08T07:27:58+00:00

I’m a young woman of color. I totally get when you say “my own race doesn’t like me”. I’m not blonde, I don’t have blue eyes. I’m not eurocentrically beautiful. Men of my country always go crazy over european girls, even if they don’t have personality. They get treated as a woman, they’re respected, they’re always right, their hearts are never broken. It’s frustrating and sad. Even my race doesn’t like me. I’m automatically labeled as ugly by men (and I don’t think I’m ugly) If I do something rude or embrace my culture i get labeled as “ghetto”, when they do that they’re considered “cute”. The list goes on, you get it.

As for your question, some women do like feminine men. It’s all about seduction. With the rise of hook up culture, which is highly damaging to women (but they think it’s “liberating”), women are used to getting the bare minimum. For women, the looks don’t matter that much. How you treat them is the most important. Be confident! Women like men who are comfortable in their own skin. Don’t stress too much about your looks. Work on yourself, mentally. Get rid of that inferiority complex.

Scorpio_Kiev · 2022-03-07T23:10:13+00:00

Why are you focused on white women with black dudes? Thats exactly why you’re in a miserable situation. It’s not because of your body it’s because you have a shitty, entitled PERSONALITY that no woman wants to be around. Your personality and behaviour turns women off.

It’s entitlement like this that makes uncles go on killing sprees and ruin not only their lives but the lives of other people.

luridlurker · 2022-03-07T18:43:10+00:00

do [women] like feminine looking men?

Some do, some don't, some are ambivalent. Women (just like men) aren't a monolith.

[I] see more masculine men with women

This might be where you live, but you are undoubtably also suffering from confirmation bias. You will remember the datapoints that fit your bias and not even notice the ones you don't.

Or put another way:

Have talked to my therapist about only seeing "Red cars", or the idea of only seeing one type of thing that reinforces my beliefs, and ignoring the rest, so my mental illness could be playing a factor in this process.

You might want to work towards finding examples that disprove your assumptions. You might find this is hard to do at first and you'll feel like you're really searching, but likely once you start noticing and remembering counter examples, they'll be easier to spot over time.

tini_1 · 2022-03-07T20:39:44+00:00

Well I'm a woman and i like feminine men. Cillian Morphy has a feminine face and he is one of my favorite actors and I think he is so hot. I must mention that your race is so popular in middle east. Middle Eastern women like guys like you.

msinclaire · 2022-03-08T06:11:25+00:00

Personally I have always much preferred men of your description, OP. 👱‍♂️👀💋

I’ve never dated swarthy men; they are invisible to me.

iostefini · 2022-03-08T07:23:19+00:00

If you've never dated any woman then why are you fixated on the white women in interracial relationships? What about the women who are white supremacists? I doubt they're more into black guys.

And there are lots of men with more feminine features who are considered very physically attractive. This article says:

most women favoured a feminised male face

So, the problem is probably not your race/appearance. It might be because you live in a small town where it's harder to find compatible people, or it might be because your own issues interfere in the relationship development process. I recommend you work on your mental illness and think about where you can meet compatible people in future.

Red_Trapezoid · 2022-03-08T08:56:51+00:00

Many women really do like prettier more polished men. Take a look at how male K-pop stars look and see how popular they are with many women.

Seems weird you associate eye and hair color with femininity.

vxicepickxv · 2022-03-08T00:53:52+00:00

Some do yes. Some don't. It's complicated.

Hellion_shark · 2022-03-08T00:56:59+00:00

Different women like different shit, but all you need is to see the Popstars popular with women - Justin Bieber, Harry Styles, BTS, etc, and actors like that dune guy girls go crazy over, to know that a lot of women like "feminine" men. And prefer it if a man takes care of himself, not so much workout-wise as much as wardrobe, style, hair, skincare, nailcare. ... a... regular bath at least? :D

salynch · 2022-03-08T04:26:16+00:00

Yeah, there are many well-known studies on this. I was forced to help my sister on one of her papers about this when I was a psych undergrad, lol.

Just ignore the pseudoscientific mra crap, you’re more than fine if you have feminine facial features.

Here’s the first example I found after two seconds on Google

CaptinSuspenders · 2022-03-08T16:01:04+00:00

You kind of sound like this nerdy kid I had a strange crush on in high school. I found him physically attractive even though he looked funny. Just the more I talked to him the more I got a sense that his worldview was cruel and terrible, and he always was dismissive and vaguely hostile toward me. He also never knew I was into him for a bit. Maybe the same thing is happening with you. The chance that no one has ever been interested in you is like slim to none, you probably didn't notice and/or turned them off somehow with a deeper personality flaw.

isthispassionpit · 2022-03-07T20:55:19+00:00

Look at the celebrities that women fawn over! They are often not the same celebrities that men think women fawn over.

Look at guys like Harry Styles, Tom Holland, Orlando Bloom, Robert Pattinson, Tom Hiddleston, Timothee Chalamet — these aren’t your stereotypical macho men oozing masculinity, and yet they are adored by millions of women. There is an incredibly wide range of what women like!

No-Writing-9626 · 2022-03-07T21:35:10+00:00

That’s weird. 😂

Coollogin · 2022-03-07T19:25:51+00:00

Have you considered dating non-white women? Have you considered moving to a different region where there are more varieties of people and less expectation to conform? Did you have black friends in school?

5MinuteMentalFitness · 2022-03-07T22:39:32+00:00

Womens physical preferences in mate selection tend to switch off from traditional masculine to more masculine feminine as they bond further with you and or want or have produced children as this is a way of getting masculine men more in line to being effective fathers as the worst thing a child to experience is aggression hyper discipline and dominance of a parental figure hence entire creation of a field called triple p parenting which is scientifically proven to be the parenting gold standard of modern parents.

This is also what the rp calls the beta bucks of the alpha f beta bucks equation but in reality it is more accurate to say

Traditional masculine+luxury short term, more feminine masculine long term, and if pair bonded long term her short term mating strategies and preferences will switch off especially if she has a child. This is of course until said father fucks up or fails to bond healthily to the children, then both strategies tend to go on in full swing.

I actually am creating my own theory on this called the switch spiral mating preferences as a school assignment.

Also studies have been done to show that if you move in with a women but don’t have children as the relationship goes on theirs a high chance the attraction level of women goes down with their partners and there are many theories on why this is, mainly one involving the body thinking their is an infertility issue and thus the women must move on.

I can link some videos discussing this but if you simply google that term or parts of what I wrote you can find a lot of research on it.

King_Offa · 2022-03-08T02:18:51+00:00

I see where you’re coming from OP as I used to have a similar belief system, even similar opinions. It’s hard to get out of and I don’t think I’m fully there. However I can speak from a bit of experience:

What you lack is self worth OP. It’s so impossible to build - for me my parents made it very difficult to feel worthy of anything. However, give yourself time, go easy on yourself. This is a psychological thing, not a reality thing. And develop that sense of self worth however you feel best. Best of luck OP. DM me if you have any questions

llanojen · 2022-03-07T22:49:43+00:00

HinduProphet · 2022-03-07T21:24:39+00:00

Have you thought about trying to be more masculine by going to gyms and taking testosterone supplements ?

Available-Ad-9338 · 2022-03-07T21:52:54+00:00

There are plenty of women attracted to feminine pretty boys. I'm curious, how tall are you?

selflove444 · 2022-03-08T11:21:03+00:00

I personally found that when I was clean shave and maintained a decent body, I attracted alot of girls while clean shave I look feminine, Even when I was a kid my mom's friend use to think that I'm a baby girl. I'm also feminine seems like got that from my mother.

Whereas after getting into BS of Redpilll and all other stuff I grew a beard 3-4 days stubborn to 6 months of wildness and trust me, Boys/ men compliment me more on the beard but I don't attract much girls.

Comicsans7612x · 2022-03-08T11:33:21+00:00

Women like muscular tall masculine men more on average. But as a man that is 5,4 I noticed my insecurity about my height costed me more women because I wouldnt go after them alot more than women not dating me because Im short. Some women like more feminine looking men. I remember a guy I used to work with had alot of girls that liked him, and he was more feminine. I think it just sort of depends on the person.

mammajess · 2022-03-08T12:33:05+00:00

Yes.

Ilivetowork · 2022-03-08T14:50:59+00:00

Yeah some definitely do.

Zenia_neow · 2022-03-15T19:29:04+00:00

There was a video done by qoves studio recently and it pointed out the reasons why most women like feminine faced men, its why boy bands work.

Carloverguy20 · 2022-03-20T18:41:26+00:00

BTS boy band is popular now, and the rise of Kpop is bringing this trend.

You are a bit obsessed with seeing Black guys with white women. Don't become one of those guys who resent men of color and WW. I see these types of incels all the time online.

Title	is my therapist right that women do like feminine looking men?
Author	Pomeranian111
Upvotes	47
Comments	115
Date	March 7, 2022 6:31 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/t8vxb0/is_my_therapist_right_that_women_do_like_feminine/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-my-therapist-right-that-women-do-like-feminine.1210597 https://theredarchive.com/post/1210597

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