From a FB group: male rando on OLD sends woman low-effort opener asking for personal information, woman states boundary, pickmes are upset she didn’t coddle him enough.

Thestral-glow6 · 2022-02-18T21:42:22+00:00

“Yikes! Your hateful” <~~ fuck off lmao. Pickmes STOP coddling and pandering to these low life scrotes. ✋🛑🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼

KetoKittenAround · 2022-02-19T00:50:16+00:00

Women are always “rude” when we have boundaries..

kumquat_fds · 2022-02-18T21:22:11+00:00

Context for the first comment: he ended up making misogynistic and homophobic comments towards her. Who on Earth could’ve seen that coming?

AmeliaEmiliaEmma · 2022-02-18T22:49:31+00:00

LITERALLY yesterday that happened to me. His 3rd-4th message was “I am looking for a long term relationship, eventually marriage, if that’s what you looking for, let’s exchange contact info.” He ignored every question I asked him, and sent this. I just unmatched, no time for that weird crap.

kumquat_fds · 2022-02-18T21:39:03+00:00

I giggled hard at 'irredeemable conkwocket'.

Honestly I am in the show them no mercy camp. We all know that when a man tries to move off of the app in the first couple hours that he's being shady. It's time they learned not to try it, and reactions like that need to become the norm.

Don't coddle grown-ass men. They always know what they are doing.

vbych76 · 2022-02-19T00:03:52+00:00

By all means, let's over explain ourselves to every rando pushing their agenda and trying to push our boundaries. We don't want to come across as rude, to every inconsiderate and ill- mannered "player". Now I know where all my time goes: coddling fragile egos.There should be a time tracking app for that. /S

lvrcalii · 2022-02-18T21:50:21+00:00

It's almost like... early signs of someone's lack of respect means... they won't respect you. 💡💡🤔🤔

herbivorouscarnivore · 2022-02-19T02:22:03+00:00

Why are women always expected to sound nice?

She was nice enough to tell him what he needs to change lol. I would have blocked and deleted as soon as he outed himself as too lazy to message through an app.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2022-02-19T00:25:06+00:00

Immediately trying to escalate the relationship, like a slimy salesman with one foot in your door, is never going to go good places.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2022-02-19T02:24:42+00:00

Getting off the dating app so he can delete it and talk to you somewhere he can hide it from his wife or trying to stalk you with the information revealed by your phone number.

It's never for a good reason.

souredskittles · 2022-02-18T21:49:53+00:00

And this is why women get taken advantage of. Don’t be like this pickme on the right

katiekat0214 · 2022-02-18T22:07:35+00:00

She's absolutely right and what she said was spot on. I have scrotes all the time on chat who IMMEDIATELY want to get off chat and go chat somewhere else. NOTHING doing. I'll tell them immediately, nah, dude, I'm here in chat to pass time, have fun, and talk to lots of different men. Everyone here is a choice, and I never have to choose anyone! I see it as a very clumsy kind of "mate guarding" strategy: they want to separate you from the herd and have you all to themselves. Plus, your phone number reveals a LOT of personal information, so no thanks to being stalked.

I've also told them re: going to a different site, I don't have a webcam anymore, got rid of it years ago, and don't share pics. They ask why, I say because of so many instances of women having their pics jizzed on and/or passed around without their consent. "Oh I'd never..." yeah well, words are cheap, and look how it just keeps happening. It hasn't ever happened to me, and won't. We chat here only. This to me is the primary reason for wanting to chat elsewhere: that inevitable request for nudes or MORE MORE MORE pics. It's boundary pushing.

Pickmes and insecure scrotes CONSTANTLY mistake being direct, forthright, and straightforward as being "rude" when it most certainly is not. That's tone policing, and it's a silencing tactic. Never be silenced, ladies. I was just called "authoritative" for telling a scrote I didn't know to call me by name only, no "dear" shit, since he was JUST some stranger. Yeah okay, I lean in to that hard. Be straightforward, forthright, direct. Use that as a vetting strategy to see if he respects what you say and how you say it.

naps-seductively · 2022-02-18T21:45:56+00:00

Wow, it’s almost as if when their first message displays red flags, it’s better to recognize that and cut them off before they have a chance to show you more red flags?? Like they always do. The first commenter is so close to getting it 🤦🏼‍♀️

RussianAsshole · 2022-02-19T07:15:24+00:00

I wonder if the men on forums where they trade tips for manipulating women into sex write these kinds of “you should’ve been kinder and not been so harsh, what about her feelings?” comments.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-02-19T05:43:30+00:00

Her response was perfect. What is up with men always demanding that the woman changes the app and immediately gives them the phone number?

Oh, so if he prices he's a creep in conversation she can't report it to the dating app? Gotcha!

The dating app is good hunting ground. The other app or the text messages are the shitting ground.

Men want to keep them separately because they know they are shitty.

Determinedblonde · 2022-02-19T12:04:45+00:00

Wow her friend sounds like my acquaintance.

Remember: men love bitches. Not because they are actual bitches, but because they expect effort.

emziewemziee · 2022-02-19T15:37:28+00:00

i think all women should start being “rude” to men. being polite gets us nowhere

2022-02-19T15:33:07+00:00

Lol I think she was being too nice, I don't give feedback that would let them circumvent another woman in the future.

apple_cores · 2022-02-20T22:31:49+00:00

Lol she’s a queen. I would have left out the last sentence tho, if I bothered to respond.

When I first started OLD, i used to give out my number, Instagram, Snapchat when men (I was interested in) would ask. I quickly learned this was not the way (they can find personal info using your phone number, collect IG followers, if they turn out to be creepy then they have multiple outlets to harass you on, etc).

Later on I just unmatched if they asked for social media before meeting. If they gave me their number I’d tell them we can just continue to chat on the app. If the pushed back, unmatch.

2022-02-19T22:37:49+00:00

Lol I was also called "stand-offish" when I was annoyed that a guy on OKC asked me out when he has cats... and I stated on my profile that I don't want to date anyone with cats because I'm severely allergic to them. 🙄

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