My ex-wife refers to my by my first name to our kids

Feinixaway · 2023-05-25T19:58:24+00:00

I think it's pretty bad. You're their dad not some random stranger.

I wouldn't say anything because first of all there is nothing you can do about it and second if you do, she would be happy because she knows it bothers you.

It's just one of those things...

Ptsdveterannavy · 2023-05-25T21:23:33+00:00

She knows that's a button that'll push you. Eliminate the buttons, all will fall. Meaning, don't ever let her know when things bother you, if you do, it'll keep going and get worse.

vector5633 · 2023-05-25T21:35:24+00:00

Yep....my cunt XW used to refer to me to my kids as "him/he".

Nipped that shit in the ass quickly. The kids therapist told her it was bad she was doing that. Now I am "dad/father" when she refers to me with the kids.

I hate that cunt!

rsmiley77 · 2023-05-25T23:44:57+00:00

I don’t think it’s a big deal unless you’re looking for something to get mad about. I refer to my daughters mother by many things… in front of them it’s always ‘your mother’ or her name. Consider yourself lucky if this is the biggest issue you have with your ex.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-05-26T09:54:28+00:00

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd put this at like a 3. You correct them how they're to address you and their mother in the broader world and certainly in your presence. I wouldn't address it with her in the slightest - the joy she will get from knowing you know and that it bothers you will only make it worse.

Diablo_Canyon2 · 2023-05-25T21:34:25+00:00

It's parental alienation.

Adventurous_Tie_4464 · 2023-05-25T22:01:19+00:00

There is nothing you can do. Just be better and refer to her as Mom around your kids. Anybody who has taken a co-parenting class knows this is unhealthy.

XxJustadudexX · 2023-05-25T22:46:10+00:00

Look at parental alienation law and destroy her

arcasul · 2023-05-25T19:01:32+00:00

I wouldn't care. She is not your friend. You may refer to yourself as daddy, and hopefully they will pick up and learn how to address you.

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2023-05-25T20:56:12+00:00

These women put fake dv and rape charges on their husbands and the judges don't give a fuck . He can do nothing but be petty and teach the kids to call her by name too which is not the right thing to do to the kids

AudreyTooTwo · 2023-05-26T01:27:20+00:00

True story: For a while, I would only refer to my ex-wife as "The Plaintiff". I used it everywhere. I even changed her name in my phone. One day, one of my kids asked me, "Why do you call mom 'plaintiff'?" She'd seen my Caller ID.

Oops. A little too much.

Classic_Dill · 2023-05-25T20:43:29+00:00

That’s soooooooooo evil man, I’ll tell you, I wonder if you can get a lawyer and claim some sort of slander lol? What she’s doing is grooming, your children! And I mean she is grooming, your children! Getting them to think of you, as less than their father, that’s what she is doing and she knows she’s doing it. I’m sorry, but I find that absolutely evil! I would put my foot down, so freaking hard, It would crack the concrete in the street, you need to get wiser real quick and this needs to stop immediately.

awesomelybearded · 2023-05-26T00:05:29+00:00

My six year old started referring to her mother by her first name when talking about the other house - I don’t know why. I didn’t correct her.

rularend · 2023-05-26T11:05:46+00:00

Yeah, that's pretty normal. I wonder if your reaction, catastrophization, and consequent desire to control what she chooses to calls you (even from afar) played some part in what happened? Let it go. Let her do what she wants. Just be a good dad, and be good to yourself.

rcb0019 · 2023-05-25T21:16:04+00:00

She is just a c*nt bitter baby mama, bro. Be the bigger man and move on.

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2023-05-25T19:19:32+00:00

I see why you got divorced lol sweating the small stuff

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2023-05-26T01:46:41+00:00

Folks, this is why women had no rights up until 70 years ago. Our ancestors knew women are vile and evil when a little bit of power is given to them.

JohnnyMnemo · 2023-05-26T03:12:22+00:00

Your ex is a petty bitch, but I'm going to guess that you already knew that.

Reflog1791 · 2023-05-26T00:58:54+00:00

What a witch. Ignore and rise above it.

Beautiful_Hunt5848 · 2023-05-26T13:18:07+00:00

been there done that...It's part of the "script", they are advised to use by their counsel. Hang in there - the kids will eventually see through her antics. DO NOT let her know it bothers you. That's why they do it.

bkowens82 · 2023-05-26T14:01:36+00:00

It seems like a petty and passive aggressive way for her to “get back” at you. She wants it to bother you, which it should. But don’t let her think it does. A good friend of mine says that victory in divorce is when you project to your ex a feeling of, “I don’t care” attitude. It’s not easy, but can be effective and eventually lead to peace of mind.

Commercial-Pick-2264 · 2023-05-26T18:10:23+00:00

Same boat. Not yet divorced yet but STBX refers to me by name in front of the children and family pictures of us have a magnet on my face. This sort of behaviour is unacceptable and just childish. Yes theybare doing to trigger and hurt you without regard to what it's doing to the children. Yes divorce is not good for the children either but this just makes it worse. How do you co parent with someone like that?? Waiting to see what child custody will look like.

Pachuko_Cadaver · 2023-05-28T00:24:44+00:00

Mine set the caller photo for me on her phone to an image of a swine. The kids used to see it every time I called them, or vice versa. I only found out when she mistakenly sent me a screenshot of something else and the image was visible in the corner.

Normally I’d just get over her bullshit - I can’t control what she does or says to the kids, but she took it way too far with that rubbish. I involved the lawyers.

Got the final parenting hearing coming up in August, and this will be brought up during that. I don’t think it’ll look great for her, but she’s still going to get everything she wants handed to her on a silver platter anyway.

God I hate that cunt.

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2023-05-25T23:23:23+00:00

Title	My ex-wife refers to my by my first name to our kids
Author	DCMikeO
Upvotes	27
Comments	58
Date	May 25, 2023 6:54 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13rq0kl/my_exwife_refers_to_my_by_my_first_name_to_our/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/my-ex-wife-refers-to-my-by-my-first-name-to-our.1220316 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220316

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