“Nothing to worry about”

Due-Tomorrow-780 · 2023-07-31T18:27:59+00:00

So my exwife just admitted today that she indeed had sex with the guy I “had nothing to worry about” after we we’re officially divorced. Knowing now doesn’t make me feel any better, but does reconfirm my suspicions all along.

Side note: I don’t know why any man would peruse a married woman. There is a special place in hell for these type of people.

Walrusdoc · 2023-05-27T05:39:14+00:00

I'll say this...im divorced because I cheated. Not with a friend, but still my infidelity. My ex cheated with someone "I didn't need to worry about". After that she continued to keep friends I wasn't comfortable with because "they're just friends". First dude she went to after we seperated...the dude I didn't need to worry about. Now for me, I have a firm boundary with male friendships. It's a hard no, Facebook friends from high school, sure whatever. But legitimate regular communication from someone who clearly (from a male perspective) wants them, hell no.

No-Exit6560 · 2023-05-27T02:42:06+00:00

This was at least some level of an emotional affair, hence the deleting of texts. Now that you’re done it’s getting physical, again.

Take these lessons and move on with your life.

There’s no reason you should be ‘friends’ with your ex’s and vice versa for your future partners. Why do they need to be friends so bad with someone they’ve fucked?

There’s plenty of people to be friends with that they haven’t slept with.

Bipolar_investor · 2023-05-27T02:37:41+00:00

Sir, she's not yours. It was just your turn.

NefariousNaz · 2023-05-26T23:53:02+00:00

Move on. I advise get a nice foreign girl to help you forget.

Mavik52 · 2023-05-26T23:36:33+00:00

If you are divorced why are you having conversations with your ex which would entail her telling you about going over another guys house? Any conversation with her should be directly related to the kids and nothing else. If you are not adhering to that rule then you are responsible for your own suffering.

iSurvivedltd · 2023-05-26T23:31:16+00:00

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

captainchippsixx · 2023-05-26T23:19:59+00:00

She’s been doing it for awhile. When you first had a gut feeling! Go grey rock on her. Don’t engage and ignore her. I personally feel airing it out to the families is important. Because I can fucking guarantee she is going to leave this out and focus on your controlling blah blah blah….

Jonger1150 · 2023-05-26T20:44:13+00:00

Men and women can't be friends.

We fuck, that's all we do.

RuRu_1999 · 2023-05-26T20:33:42+00:00

Have you considered individual counseling?

Striking-Trainer8148 · 2023-05-26T20:18:34+00:00

How nice of that man to offer to help raise your three children.

Watch how long that lasts and laugh when it fails

Classic_Dill · 2023-05-26T18:19:24+00:00

So, this is an important lesson, remember when our parents would warn us about things? and we would be like "Moooom/Daaad you're just old and the world doesn't work like that anymore"....how old were your parents? probably 40's-50's just like most of us now and now we can see the red flags as well as them. You saw red flags and turned them white, over and over and over....so did i, LEARN!!!! LEARN!!!! if it walks and looks like a duck? bet most of what you have, its a duck!

This is why they say love is blind, but it isn't, we just dont do anything with the red flags..TILL NOW!!!! never again my friend, never again.

You did in fact get reallllly screwed over, so did i, my ex wife slept with my buddy, right after she graduated nursing school, i got used for 10 years as a place holder! learn!!! go to the gym, find your manhood! get back your self respect and be re-born as the man you should have always been.

joemoorcarz · 2023-05-26T18:16:43+00:00

Get a paternity test on the kids. There's a chance he was not actually an ex but a side piece. For all you know they've been meeting up all along.

cousinmarygross · 2023-05-26T17:46:34+00:00

My divorce went final this past April.

She's not your wife any longer. Whatever it takes, you need to get over her. Move on.

Reflog1791 · 2023-05-26T17:45:48+00:00

Put yourself out there and meet someone new. Let her go and move on. Go to the gym and get buff. You know what to do it’s all quite simple, yet difficult.

If you start having “mind movies”, do 25 push-ups. If you can’t do 25 regular push-ups in one set, your physical condition is way below acceptable and you need to rectify starting NOW.

Robosnails · 2023-05-26T17:30:56+00:00

You need to immediately change the way look at your STBX. She is no longer your friend, no longer your lover. Just a hollow husk of the women you married long long ago. You are used to subconsciously seeing her as your property, and something that needs protecting... STOP! Women often turn into major sluts after a breakup, as they need to start their search for another sucker.

Many people will give you different advice on how to stay focused and move past this. The
best and most general advice is self improvement. Lift weights, distract yourself with hobbies, work and close friends. If you don't have any male friends, make some as they will be an essential part of your support network moving forward.

Take this with a grain of salt as most people advise against it. I personally found hookups to be an awesome way to get over my ex-wife. If you have issues with attachment and are very co-dependent type person, this strategy will ruin you.

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2023-05-26T17:28:23+00:00

At least you made the right decision by divorcing her. Also do yourself a favor and try not to find out anything about her

Zealousideal-Bear-37 · 2023-05-26T17:20:17+00:00

Same thing happened to me mate . Nothing you can do but therapy to deal with the feelings . Control what you can control, and that’s your life . Here for you in solidarity

everydaymassager · 2023-05-26T16:57:44+00:00

Sir, she's been having an emotional fair and something did happen when she visited him. She's checked out along time ago. Since you've separated there's nothing you can do; but just know that your gut feeling was right all along. Start to Grey Rock her and only discuss financials and the kids.

Title	“Nothing to worry about”
Author	Due-Tomorrow-780
Upvotes	13
Comments	34
Date	May 26, 2023 4:31 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13shvx7/nothing_to_worry_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/nothing-to-worry-about.1220410 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220410

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