Sincere question: what initially drew you to this movement?

VitaminDWholeMilf · 2023-06-13T17:55:40+00:00

I got sucked into the woman's version because I was raised around shitty behaved women, with questionable morals, abusers, not self-aware, and I desperately wanted to be better and different than them and what they were teaching me.

I wanted to be good at relationships, communicating, finances, cooking, and aLL tHe tHiNgs, so I put myself through a high-value woman's boot camp of sorts. Then I got coerced into a Red Pill woman's group for a couple of years.

I did become pretty great and I actually learned a lot, but then it all broke down into...this. 🤢 Rest is history.

TeacherYankeeDoodle · 2023-06-14T00:04:49+00:00

I think you’re misunderstanding the premise and if you rethink it, you’ll get it. RP isn’t really a proposed set of solutions for men’s issues. It’s a set of personal compensations. Think of the reasons why white supremacist movement in the United States target veterans of wars abroad: traumatization, isolation, alienation, etc. RP thrives on disaffected men who feel a great deal of unaddressed and suppressed rage. It gives them belonging, scape goats, and “solutions.”

It’s hopium and despairium in a different package. It’s a prescription for pain.

sickbabe · 2023-06-13T18:47:12+00:00

I've been watching this whole scene with horror since around 2013, when pick up "artists" (jesus wept) and mgtow guys started fusing together into this. perhaps not coincidentally, it also coincided with me shaking off the internalized misogyny a lot of girls pick up as they become teenagers and emerge into a world where the dominant narrative is as a straight woman (and of course if you're feminine you're OBVIOUSLY straight, this one has tripped me up for years and honestly still does to this day), you're meant to compete for male attention and listen to all this garbage about the power of your appearance. I've never been redpill for a variety of reasons, but I was drawn to this group because opportunities for vulnerable and empathetic conversations like the ones a lot of us have here are few and far between!

No_Jelly_6635 · 2023-06-13T17:59:42+00:00

I didn’t know what it was until my cousin introduced me. I didn’t believe in any of it. Then when I hit 30 (the “wall”) I had a mental breakdown. And I think it was from all the subconscious programming in believing my self worth was based on the male gaze, my youth, beauty etc

I realize now how toxic it is and how complicated people and life really is.

KingKunta2-D · 2023-06-13T22:13:21+00:00

Resentment of bad mothers.
Failing to get laid or a girlfriend. Couldn't prove social value
Just straight hating women or misogyny this one is pretty rare

Stargazer1919 · 2023-06-13T17:45:20+00:00

I'm a woman. I was never redpilled. I visit here because I believe my mom married someone with redpill tendencies. Basically, I experienced redpill parenting.

Anxious-Tailor-7182 · 2023-06-14T04:12:29+00:00

Never was really "red pilled". But "pickup" got me started in finding relationships. Didn't went deeper because they put too much on building your entire life around getting attention from women while I had other things to do. After few romantic failures become interested in MGTOW for a while but they put too much attention on "women this, women that" instead of going their own way. So I lost interest.

JimBeamAndCoke2016 · 2023-06-14T01:14:35+00:00

A lack of interested women, and sex, led me to PUA and in turn on to redpill and blackpill. Although I was never fully immersed, out of the three I probably identified more with blackpill.

Also out of the three, I reckon PUA is the biggest scam going.

greentea_solaire · 2023-06-14T08:19:19+00:00

autism, no friends, And No parents

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2023-06-14T16:41:31+00:00

For all of the manosphere's many and serious issues, they give men a sense of being listened to, of having their problems being taken seriously, of not always being villainized and blamed.

The same neoliberal feminist types who criticise the capitalist hellscape will pull an instant 180 and become absolute pull-yourself-by-your-bootstraps Boomer Reaganite Republicans when it comes to men and their problems.

Astrotheurgy · 2023-06-14T02:03:54+00:00

Pain, extreme heartbreak, anger, seeking answers, and by absolute chance.

Unfair_Telephone_466 · 2023-06-14T02:33:52+00:00

Three things. First, my parents divorce. She cheated on him, nabbed me and my sister, and ran off. During the divorce she made endless amounts of extreme false accusations, and harassed him with restraining orders. Dad had to sell out the farm he had bought, give her half, and pay off several thousand in debts he wasn't aware she had ran up. In total roughly 100k, in 1995 for comparison.

Second, many experiences of just how brutal the dating game is as a normal guy. Especially finding out way too late that all the lessons I'd been taught were completely wrong. When you spend your life advertising work ethics and code of honor, just to find out it's meaningless in the dating game, is a lesson you don't easily forget.

Finally, my own divorce. Met a woman, married her, adopted her daughter, and worked like hell to make a life for us. Gave her free reign to do the things she wanted, supported her (many) enterprises. Even tip toed around her moods because of the "abuse" her ex supposedly gave her. Married for 7 years, just for her to cheat on me with a toothless truck driver, and an obese inbred. My grand reward? 25,000 worth of debt to pay off, and 600 a month in child support. Not to mention the all fronts smear campaign she launched.

I didn't take the red pill, I had it force fed to me.

ZenSawaki · 2023-06-14T16:23:16+00:00

I never been in the red pill, only in the PUA movement. I am lurking here because there is not "exPUA" sub. But a lot of TRP overlaps with PUA so is also relatable.

I was a horny lonely deppressed dude at 20, and I wanted to get a girlfriend. So I just googled "how to get a girlfriend" and ended up in the PUA thing. I didn't get what I wanted it only made more lonley and insecure. Gladly I am out from that shithole.

All those losers should get real jobs and earn money in a decent way of predating on the insecurities of young people.

Soft-Neat8117 · 2023-06-14T22:04:32+00:00

A combination of dating advice videos and get-rich-quick scheme videos led me to red pill content.

Chickenburger6057 · 2023-06-15T02:47:52+00:00

Getting gaslighted when mentioning I don’t want a promiscuous gf

NintenJoo · 2023-06-13T18:17:21+00:00

It’s actually very interesting to me.

I’m a very aware person, and have been with my wife for 13 years.

We’re grossly very in love and pretty much always have been.

We’ve had our struggles with life and raising a kid etc, but we’ve always been very communicative and respectful, and very much in love.

I found redpill like 7 years ago, and it was 100% nothing but positive for me.

I was mature enough to see that there was a lot of good information in it about handling your shit, and the potential differences in the personalities of men and women.

I think the overall idea of redpill can be a positive thing for men to learn, but the execution of it, especially for angry men in their 20’s was where much of the issues were coming from.

I was finding myself falling back into some “beta” ways that caused issues with a past long term relationship, and didn’t want my current relationship to suffer the same fate.

The strength and discipline I learned from redpill really helped. I got in better shape, became more confident, became more of a leader in the household, fought for what I needed in my job, became a better example for my son, etc etc.

My wife will attest to all of that. Our relationship became even better than it was

There is so much positive that can be gleaned from the mentality.

BUT, you have to pick it apart. You can’t just adopt it all. You can’t turn into an asshole.

Women are wonderful, but many women are different than many men. And many men are different from each other.

We’re humans first. But the psychology in redpill does have a place. There is some truth to it. You just can’t take it as gospel.

I do not follow redpill stuff directly anymore, but it’s made me into a stronger person in my life. I am more successful, happier, more patient, etc etc.

It was a great journey in my life and I’m happy to have found it.

CLyD3_H3ffalump · 2023-06-13T19:50:48+00:00

Needed advice on how to get in on hookup culture in college.

CalmLake1 · 2023-06-13T21:36:21+00:00

Being in therapy and talking about this I have a more flushed out answer for this question. Even though I grew up rough, but I was thought to never hit women. In middle school I was bullied a lot by a few of them. I know a part of me got angry that they got away with it, because I can't really defend myself physically plus I wasn't the best with words, or witty. So in highschool I found a lot of videos of women getting called out for their BS. Whether it's from a marriage point, single mother, girlfriend, anything really. It made me feel heard. Like they were speaking for me. I didn't really need the redpill to tell me my male status, how unmanly I am, how ugly I was or any of the new alpha male stuff floating in the mainstream. My main focus is more on the girl hating parts of redpill. That's what I cared about the most.

eatfleshdrinkblood · 2023-06-13T23:03:14+00:00

Honestly, I never considered myself red pilled. And I always hated the modern red pill. But my thing is I believed and still do tbh. That I‘m low vaule because I’m autistic with a lot of other mental disorders. And the reason I’m in this sub is red pill content taught me to hate myself. And I want to escape the mindset but it’s really hard.

DGNR888 · 2023-06-14T11:40:09+00:00

Constant rejection , getting cheated on in my first relationship and wanting to actually be desirable. As toxic as its been some parts of red pill have helped me be more assertive but not necessarily desirable lol; that and also took the rose tinted glasses off alot of things in life (I feel grey everyday)

but watching it evolve over the past decade has been so cringe and I genuinely feel sorry for alot of young people.

There's a whole lot of pain and manipulation being pushed around and im concerned for the future 🙁

Revolutionary_Law793 · 2023-06-15T11:49:22+00:00

I am not ex red pill, but I think lot of guys who fell into it are initially traumatized by women. Maybe they were told their dick is too small. Or manipulated into something horrible.

Option 2 is their father was a misogynist.

sturgeo123 · 2023-06-16T02:34:43+00:00

I honestly just thought the content was funny and didn’t rlly understand how harmful it was

DragonflyAromatic793 · 2023-06-16T20:40:50+00:00

Im a woman who was drawn to this movement because I asked myself the question: what do men want?

United-GC4640 · 2023-06-17T19:13:27+00:00

Sickness, I was already a nerdy guy... But being sick really brings me down. I feel unworthy of love, had a girl but it went nowhere and when my grandpa died she pushed me away.

The problem with it is most normal guys would be happy to have at least a girlfriend... That's probably one of the biggest reasons people are drawn to it. I know firsthand

emfanthrowaway12 · 2023-06-20T21:01:20+00:00

Post 7 days old but I'll share my story.

Had a difficult time as a kid, needed to undergo treatment, came back to school and recovered, then I got rejected, felt bad, googled some stuff, found self help influencers who convinced me to start going to the gym and so I did. Life became better but I didnt know the red pill back then yet, though I did hear some beliefs that it includes, like game. Then another very traumatic event happened which Im not gonna disclose, took an entire year to recover, I did but the fire from before never came back, until Ive discovered Hamza. Hes helped me with some good habits which I will definitely always be grateful for, but the rest of his beliefs werent too good, as well as after him Ive discovered what red pill is fully, found other people and then it was when I fell into this completely. Helped me with some stuff but for the most part it took me a long time to realize how fd up my mental health was from consuming this content. Thats basically the entire story summarized, TLDR I found a source of confidence in the gym after a difficult time, but then another traumatic event happened and upon pushing through it and being a shell of my former self even despite recovering I needed direction in life as mentally I wasnt there, and thats how I fell into it, very deeply

Kevlar__Soul · 2023-06-21T18:29:33+00:00

For me it was my wife stop wanting sex with me and I couldn’t figure out why.

Read some of the significant material and showed me what I was doing wrong and was able to save my marriage.

There are toxic aspects of red pill but books like “no more mr nice guy” and “when I say no i feel guilty” greatly improved my life.

bluemagex2517 · 2023-06-14T10:33:19+00:00

I was directly redpilled, but I did a lot of things they do now in my mid 20s. I'm in my mid 30s now for reference. Back then red-pill was very different. Over the years it's fused with pick up artists and various other men's moment type groups. If my 20 something self existed in 2016-2023, he probably would have gotten sucked into it. Back around 2010ish red pill was much more openly violent and rapey and wasn't giving dating advice, just "how to abuse your partner more effectively" advice. It had no appeal to me back then.

When I was 18 I was mentally and sexually abused by my first ever sexual partner, a woman my age I met as a freshmen in college. In the middle of that "relationship" I nearly died from a string of illnesses that my body had a hard time recovering from. The next year, when I was super depressed and showing signs of minor PTSD I got dragged to a party. I drank way too much then smoked a bunch of weed. I blacked out and woke up with a woman on top of me having sex with me.

Those two traumatic experiences with women left me pretty fucked up for a while. I temporarily lost empathy for women my own age. I started treating the women around me as conquests to be used. Honestly, for a couple of years there I wasn't any different than modern redpillers. I didn't have they're jargon, 80/20 rule or dread game or any of that, but my mentality and behavior wasn't much different.

Eventually my studies actually saved me. I was studying ethics and took a long hard look at myself and decided that I wasn't being a good person. I decided if I was going to hook up, I wanted to do it in a way that didn't treat the other person like a object. I transformed myself into someone who treated women I was interested in as people, instead of treating them like goals. I learned to reject women who treated me poorly. I learned how to find women who wanted what I wanted with me at the time that I wanted it. That lead to a very fun and healthy casual dating life in my late 20s and early thirties, and it lead to the serious long term relationship I'm in now.

Title	Sincere question: what initially drew you to this movement?
Author	EcstaticYoung8856
Upvotes	20
Comments	121
Date	June 13, 2023 5:15 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/148kgku/sincere_question_what_initially_drew_you_to_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/sincere-question-what-initially-drew-you-to-this.1221964 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221964

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