So I have been divorced now just over 1.5 years. I struggled with wanting to reconcile with a spouse that wanted nothing to do with me. This was a huge mental hurdle for me.

Why would I even want to get back together with someone who treated me so badly and changed my world for the worse?

So I did an experiment. I am still on ok terms with ex. I asked her if she wanted to do few activities with my daughter and I. So for example we went swimming, had ice cream etc. Then a few weeks later I did the same activities with just my daughter and I.

Wow did we have so much more fun ALONE. I never truly realized how much fun my ex sucked out of every activity. Barely go in pool. Hot tub too hot. Sauna eww. Order giant ass ice cream but kid gets a small. Nobody laughing. Then when we hang out just my daughter and I its pure laughs and were exhausted after the day.

I buy my daughter a skateboard. Her first reaction is mom is gonna flip out. She has a blast here. I tell her take it to moms place.... part of the experiment. Of course it doesnt get used. Cant even ride a bike at moms. For fucks sake.

So now I am in a place mentally and physically to just try dating again. Nothing serious. Want to see if anyone is into me. I tried a bit after divorce and it was very bad. I was in too dark a headspace.

The past 1.5 years the main thing I did do was take care of myself. I always was in decent shape, but now I am in very good shape. Lets see if being positive and well taken care of attracts better women? ...

Well after barely even trying I found a woman last week who.... introduced herself to me. Now the old me would say there is zero percent chance this woman could be into me. I would have said " out of my league " and no way would I have talked to her.

She is 5 foot 10, blonde and in crazy good shape. Probably 100 pounds lighter than ex wife. Jesus. Instant attraction. We eventually setup a date and I pulled a George Costanza from Seinfeld and basically said the exact opposite of what the old me would say. Old me would have tried to take her out for a meal, be super boring and she would never be interested again.

I said lets go to the gym. Not only did she want to go, she picked me up (at 5am) and we had a great time. She complemented me, and said how lean I was haha. She is the first I have taked to that doesnt care about job, vehicle, material crap. We setup another date for Friday before the date was done.

Now I could care less if this goes anywhere. I dont expect anything. Even a 2nd date I do not expect. It has put me at peace to know that I have value. I can enjoy life and it aint over.

I am betting that once my ex sees me truly happy that is when she will try to sweet talk me, try break up what I have to reconcile only to dissapoint me again. What a wild world.