I think a new culture of transparency and accountability regarding female sexual power would go a long way toward fixing contemporary gender relations.

Edit: Please note I'm not trying to make a head to head comparison on the damage of how men can hurt women with physical strength and women can hurt men by feigning sexual interest. I was just trying to find a simple example of culturally mediated power. It can be anything. Money might be a better example. Or political power. A really slick used car salesman that knows how to gain confidence. Any kind of power.

Edit 2: I appreciate the discussion here and I learned some things that I need to consider. To clarify further, I'm NOT saying women are inherently evil for being sexually desirable. That's absurd. I'm saying all forms of power need checks and balances, men are raised that women are innocent creatures, and some women (probably an active minority) abuse this position in nefarious ways that causes mistrust between the sexes. It took me years to unlearn that programming.

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Let me first say that this is in no way an anti-woman post. I think female empowerment, education, professional, and social achievement are necessary and desirable things. I intend this to be a discussion about the release of an unchecked power that does not currently have a restoring force. I am not in favor of so-called slut-shaming. I would like to see more transparency and education regarding this real power that women hold.

From what I’ve seen, the main counterargument I’ve heard that men are still socially more powerful than women is that they are significantly physically stronger than women. While I agree that in general physical strength is a privilege relative to women, the argument breaks down under scrutiny for a subtle reason. Namely, physical strength has always had a firm culture of accountability regarding its use. No such culture of accountability currently exists for women misusing their sexual prowess.

Boys are taught from a very young age that using physical force to dominate or coerce another person is unacceptable. We go to great lengths to instill boundaries regarding the improper use of physical force, both in our laws, but more importantly, in our culture and social norms. If a boy or man steps out of line and uses his physical strength in an inappropriate way, he will be immediately condemned and if necessary, restrained. Violently.

The reason we need this culture of accountability is obvious, but as a thought experiment we can consider what would happen if it were not in place. Without the cultural pressure, many, if not most, strong young men would learn to use that power in destructive ways. It feels GOOD to dominate. Look at how UFC fighters respond when they knock someone out, or how football players stand over their opponent after a particularly hard tackle. Men would experience a rush of dopamine each time they managed to secure power and would not stop until nature (aka someone stronger than them) physically prevented them from doing it. We would descend into a chaotic state where warlords rule and whoever could secure the most physical power would reign in a winner-take-all scenario. Society as we know it would not be able to function.

So instead, we have instituted social restrictions that are meant to simultaneously inhibit the improper use of physical strength, and channel that natural aggression into positive outlets like sports and other friendly competition. That way we can both celebrate its positive use, and restrict and denigrate its improper use. We have myths and stories and universally acknowledged standards regarding how and when physical force is appropriate to use.

Our brave new world of female liberation has released their sexual power onto our culture in much the same way male physical power develops at puberty. Shortly after puberty, young women can learn quickly that they can use their sexuality to gain power. However, outside of an attentive two-parent household instructing their daughter that misusing their sexual prowess is a bad idea, I don’t see any cultural force that is properly informing them that it is a bad idea to misuse it.

On the contrary, most of the current cultural forces seem to only reinforce that using your sexuality to gain power and status is not only OK, but what you are expected to be doing. This is leading young women to throw their power around in destructive ways, but you can’t really blame any one individual. If Becky managed to get all those followers and hook up with that hot guy behind her boyfriend’s back by posting those bikini pics on Instagram, well then I might as well do that too. She can get all the drinks she wants for free, and laughs at the pathetic guys that buy them for her. We just tell guys to watch out for it, but no one ever seems to call women out for doing this.

There isn’t really a restoring force here, because there is an endless line of guys she can have as her boyfriend next, and her friends just say “go girl”. The only restoring force is that nature will eventually catch up to her and end her fertile window. Meanwhile, she has left a path of destruction in her wake and it will be too late to undo that damage.

My best female friend has had multiple one night stands off of Hinge despite her goal being stated as “Looking for life partner”. She even told me that I should only look for women that want life partners and avoid one-night stands. When I confronted her on this minor deception, her reply was, “women do things for mysterious reasons and we don’t have to answer for it”.

I feel like a little education, transparency, and accountability would go a long way. I think much like unchecked physical power would cause a society to collapse, unchecked female sexual power has the potential to do the same. In most cases, men are told “well you just picked the wrong girl”, but the other (more important) part of the problem is just glossed over. Namely, women should not be able to act in such egocentric ways without some kind of consequence.

We could just start educating young women as they enter their fertile years that they are going to be given a lot of power that they need to use wisely. Lying, string men along for attention, and using sexuality to gain power in deceptive ways should be taught to be unacceptable.

I don’t think slut-shaming is the answer. It’s too blunt and tries to solve the wrong problem. To be clear, I don’t think it’s problem that women have sexual power. I think it’s awesome that they have it. Just like I think it’s awesome that NFL linebackers are monsters. But without a proper culture of accountability and transparency regarding its use, unchecked female sexual power can cause a lot of problems, and it is.