Maladaptive Social Cognition & Pattern Recignition in Dating

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-10-11T17:27:01+00:00

I will pay a lot more attention to them. If they are too dumb to figure it out, then fuck it, I can afford to miss out every once in a while.

NeverSeenA1Thirteen · 2023-10-11T17:27:44+00:00

I usually know when girls flirt, I’m just very afraid of misunderstanding their intentions and making a move in an environment that is deemed socially unacceptable to do so.

Even if they lay it on thick, my fear of that possibility stops me from doing anything and I kinda just pretend I don’t know she’s flirting

Safinated · 2023-10-11T18:15:44+00:00

Men’s part is to show initiative/interest

My part is to let them

SierraMistSoda · 2023-10-11T17:46:42+00:00

Whats crazy is that some men can't pick up on extreme flirting whatsoever and other men think that because you're smiling you desire to suck their dick.

SianOiseau · 2023-10-11T17:35:36+00:00

I want to spend time with them, so I seek their company whenever I can and I touch them as often as it's appropriate. I also just ask them out.

chalkandapples · 2023-10-11T17:57:53+00:00

I wouldn't blame anyone for not pick up on the fact I like them. I'm terrible at signaling.

I would find opportunities to be around them more (like going to the same events), but I'm also very shy so I wouldn't really want to talk to or interact with them. I would actually interact and engage with them less than normal. I actually have a lot of male friends so I'm very comfortable and friendly in a platonic situation, but I have no idea what to do in a romantic setting, and that makes me uncomfortable so I would try to avoid the situation and stay distant and quiet. The guy will probably see me around more but would think I hate him or something.

Insane-Wallflower · 2023-10-11T18:08:30+00:00

Might sound creepy but I subtly follow them around. I try my best to be near them at pretty much all times. During conversation I’ll try and gain information on their personal lives, especially their romantic lives. I smile during conversations with them more often too.

MistyMaisel · 2023-10-12T03:16:24+00:00

I put myself in close physical proximity to them such that it would be easier to approach me and I seem more like I want them to approach.
Once I know them I hang around them a lot, I talk to them a lot, I ask them questions a lot, I joke to them a lot, and again, usually in close physical proximity.
I make time for them, I don't run off after class or work or what have you. I linger to talk with them and even make a point to walk out with them or such.
If they break the usual routine of when I get to see them I note that I missed their presence to them and ask where they were or if they're OK.
Lots of giggling and blushing. It's hard not to when someone you like is paying you attention at least for me.
I tend to make a point to dress up for when I'm going to see them.
Lots of hair fiddling and tossing.
I tend to make less dirty jokes to them and more like, childish girly jokes that are lame.
Lots of leaning towards them, brushing them playfully, making excuses to touch physically.
Playful teasing them about themselves.
I ask them for recommendations and then I follow through on those quickly so I can talk to them about it.
The walk away booty shake for his benefit.
Little gifts and tokens even just like random, I cooked this and I need a second opinion. Here taste it.
I offer to help with things if he expresses some sort of distress or need that is in my wheelhouse (I've helped with so many writing projects because I fancied a dude).
Asking if he'll be somewhere I'm going later and or pushing him to go to the group events.
Listening to him talk about shit I have no interest in for longer lengths than would be socially acceptable to bore another person.
Make excuses to run into him places or follow him a bit at group events.
I tend to compliment and build them up about their good qualities while comforting them over their stupid or bad qualities. And the compliments are usually highly individual and specific in such a way it is obvious I'm paying a lot of attention to him and his actions. It isn't generic you're so nice stuff.

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baiser_vole · 2023-10-11T18:33:15+00:00

I asked them to hang out with me without any company. I would say women are usually careful to not give false signals, so they either let you know if they are partnered up or add an extra person or two if not interested. If there is a clear purpose of the hangout, I would not mistake it for interest either.

pterry-dactl · 2023-10-11T22:11:57+00:00

To name a few recent encounters..

Met at a house party. Sat with him most the night and asked lots of questions about himself. He didn't actually get the hint, even after I offered for him to stay at mine.
Complimented their body quite a lot in a toilet queue, wondered off and they approached me several hours later somewhere else.
Met at a festival and shared a ciggy with him. Asked him lots of questions about himself and took interest in his answers. He asked to kiss me.
Met him through mutual friend. Took a lot of interest in what he had to say. He asked if I wanted to carry on the party as the bar was closed. I kept moving closer to him on the sofa and gave lots of positive body language.

MyHouseOnMars- · 2023-10-12T03:36:06+00:00

Once I liked one of my friends. I played with his hair, I flirted. I invited him to a bar and he said no and never talked to me again. I sighed and moved on

a year later he started to come on to me but I had moved on.

Turns out he never noticed that I was flirting 🤷‍♀️

It was the love story that never was

januaryphilosopher · 2023-10-11T17:23:18+00:00

I generally just tell people what I like about them and, if it's going well, ask them on a date.

badgersonice · 2023-10-12T14:36:48+00:00

First… nobody was enraged by your title, surely? Don’t sprain your shoulder trying to pat yourself on the back for this title, man.

I’m honestly just plain rotten at flirting, and yeah, men generally aren’t attracted to me as a result. So I just engage earnestly with people and chat in a friendly way, and men don’t respond to that and I don’t get asked out or hit on. But I’ve always been too shitty at actually flirting to get men interested.

For all the men claiming they can’t pick up on flirting or it’s too subtle… they do pick up on it subtly. They find a woman much more attractive when the woman engaged with them in a subtly flirty way. Men just don’t seem to consciously recognize that that the woman’s actions and demeanor are a big part what they’re responding to when they decide who to approach. Men tend to attribute all of the flirting and demeanor and overall vibe to strictly appearances and just think she’s pretty.

Women who are really good at flirting aren’t necessarily the most physically beautiful, but are excellent at setting just the right lure to draw fish to the hook.

Title	Maladaptive Social Cognition & Pattern Recignition in Dating
Author	noafrochamplusamurai
Upvotes	8
Comments	42
Date	October 11, 2023 5:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/175jc70/maladaptive_social_cognition_pattern_recignition/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/maladaptive-social-cognition-pattern-recignition.1234797 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234797

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