Should I break up with my boyfriend when I turn 30 because he believes in the wall?

xvszero · 2023-12-13T06:51:36+00:00

No. Break up now. And never, ever date red pill guys.

physious · 2023-12-13T07:49:10+00:00

this guy works part-time and lives with his parents and idgaf and chose him over more materially successful men

just tell him his beliefs are completely right and you are leaving him because of "hypergamy" lmao

bacharama · 2023-12-13T05:58:56+00:00

You shouldn't break up with him when you turn 30. You should break up with him today.

rosiet1001 · 2023-12-13T07:24:32+00:00

Please, please don't spend your life worrying about whether men, or anyone, finds you attractive. Life is so short. Its such a waste of energy. Direct your energy to improving your life or being in the service of others.

Redpill tries to install this fear in women of "ending up alone" when that is not even nearly the worst thing that can happen to a person. Its not even on the list. Do NOT spend your life vying for the attention of a mediocre romantic partner.

latenerd · 2023-12-13T06:01:30+00:00

The wall is a myth. Women are pursued all our lives. The reason so many redpillers stay with their wives is because they know damn well those women have value; they're liars but they're not all stupid.

No one looks as pretty at 40 as they do at 20 -- this includes wrinkled, decrepit 40+ yo men who are fooling themselves by throwing $$ at younger women. But if someone has character, intelligence, kindness, loyalty, talent, good health, an interesting life story, etc etc, then they often get even sexier as they get older. And certainly more mature people can be better life partners in many other ways.

The best time to break up with a redpill bf would be today. If you wait until next year, you're only going to get more attached.

Send him pics of you with your fully employed, has-his-own-place new bf when you're 30.

spiraldinosaur · 2023-12-13T10:17:36+00:00

it doesn't feel like there's anything I can do to prevent it

The way you prevent it is by not dating men who are so predatory that they would date a 20 year old when they're in their 40s. You prevent it by dating men who are emotionally available enough that they can actually form a bond that goes so much deeper than how someone looks. These are just generally terrible men who are incapable of valuing other people above themselves, and that's the result. But they are not representative of all men. There are of course men out there who long for a meaningful life long commitment.

Do you think this would get better if I stopped dating someone redpill?

Everything gets better when you stop dating someone redpill.

Is there any way to make peace with my body?

The simple (not easy) answer here is therapy. You're dealing with trauma that's rooted deep in your childhood, and it will take some work to undo that and to learn to value yourself and your body again. I highly recommend some professional help to work through that.

And if women really stop being attractive in their thirties then why do so many successful men including some redpill/MRA leaders choose to marry women in their 30s and 40s and stay with them as they get older? My landlady is in her 60s and her boyfriend who she started dating in her mid-40s is a tall software engineer who takes her on trips to Europe every summer, how is that even possible if redpill is correct?

I think you can already see the answer there. The redpill isn't correct. You even stated above that you are with your boyfriend despite him not being rich - because again, the redpill is not correct about pretty much anything. It's just a bunch of toxic ideas to make people angry. It is self contradicting and full of misinformation. Don't listen to the red pill, and instead look at those examples you see very often of couples who stay together into old age. Sure, there are plenty of examples of men leaving women for younger women, and unfortunately you've seen several of them first hand. But there are also lots and lots and lots of examples of couples staying together right to the end.

We all get old so if the wall is totally legitimate, then why would any guy get married in the first place if they know they're just going to stop finding their wife attractive in a few years?

Exactly. The wall isn't legitimate. I mean, in some cases it is, because that's how some men behave. But it isn't a rule that applies to everyone. Just as it isn't a rule that women want a rich man. Some women do want rich men. Some women won't date a man under 6ft, or who doesn't work out 6 days a week. Does that mean all men who are short, or who don't have a lot of money and a lot of muscles are doomed to be alone forever? Of course not. The red pill simply takes examples of the worst behaviours amongst people and tries to tell us that that's how it all works. It's nonsense. Redpill is the life of narcissists. But not everyone is a narcissist.

Disregard it. Find yourself a man who doesn't follow redpill bullshit and you'll find yourself a man who actually makes you feel good about yourself.

RyanShreds_ · 2023-12-13T11:50:43+00:00

yeah, all that talk about women “hitting the wall” is bullshit. women don’t magically start getting unattractive in their 30s, and they never have.

they say this kind of shit to make you feel insecure, to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities, and to live out a revenge fantasy because they’re still bitter about getting rejected in high school or whatever.

ManWazo · 2023-12-13T12:26:26+00:00

how is that even possible if redpill is correct?

Because it isn't

Grouchy_Toe2404 · 2023-12-13T11:22:25+00:00

Leave him now. All red pillers are misogynists, no exceptions. The idea of the wall exists to justify cheating - people who believe in it are cheaters in the making.

You've been surrounded by bad men all your life, who gaslit you into thinking that you're losing value with each day. Even today, you sound uncertain in forming your own opinion about things like red pill, and it also sunds like your fear interferes with your life.

I suggest that you go to therapy. Ask yourself why staying single sounds so terrifying that you would rather date red pillers and live in fear of them leaving you.

I hope you find your center. I wish you the best and good luck for your healing journey!

flipsidetroll · 2023-12-13T07:42:13+00:00

Ask him to look at Rollo 2019 and Rollo 2023. The wig. The fake tan. The makeup. The facelift. The stupid clothes to show he’s a rocker. Then tell me who’s afraid of the wall. It ain’t the women.

sickbabe · 2023-12-13T09:42:10+00:00

I'm sorry you grew up in an environment like that, emotionally well-adjusted people don't just throw the people they love away like that (although I suspect there's probably something more to the guy who lost his religion, plenty of people will do what his daughter thinks he does while also pretending to be religious). idk about you but as I grew up my definition of attractive has grown with me, and I think that's actually the case for most people. the idea that you have to "trade in" your partners so they stay the same age while you grow up just sounds deeply maladjusted.

scarlettrinity · 2023-12-13T10:18:23+00:00

Those husbands sounds like they were not respectful caring husbands if they were willing to dump their family to smoke weed on the beach. These wives were having children, taking care of themselves and the kids, keeping the home, and I bet many were also working. Why do you want a bad husband adding to your responsibilities? Focus on yourself making sure you don’t need a man. Don’t find a new successful homeowner man to date - be that person yourself. Then get a dog: it’ll love you, cuddle with you, and actually protect you. They also can be trusted off lead more than any of those damn men you mentioned.

MechanicHopeful4096 · 2023-12-13T12:07:27+00:00

“how is that even possible if redpill is correct?”

First of all, redpill is not correct. It’s an ideology sold (yes, sold. It’s a business) to men who are unable to get women, or who have been through a difficult divorce and use that space as a coping mechanism to blame women for everything wrong in their lives.

Don’t let this shallow ideology remove your confidence about aging. It’s inevitable and happens to us all.

My own mother was nearing her 30s when she married my father, and they’ve been happily married for 20+ years. She’s an independent, self reliant, successful businesswoman and so is my father. My father owned his own business for years, pulled in six-figures, and was/is physically fit.

I know plenty of women who have dated throughout their 30s and into their 40s and had a great dating and social life.

Redpillers want to make any and all woman that doesn’t fit into their definition of “wife material” (ie. young, beautiful, no past at all) believe they’ll become sad, lonely, wine-drinking cat ladies who will regret forever rejecting the “alpha male redpill men” that they perceive themselves to be and finally, finally the woman will experience the gaping loneliness those same men once felt.

Of course, it’s not true when you look around in the real world. And if my only choice of men were the ones who wanted me to be forced into a box of an “ideal” woman, only to be tossed to the side once I “hit the wall”, I’d much rather be alone for the rest of my life.

As for your boyfriend, that’s your decision. I wouldn’t have dated a man who I suspect would end up leaving me.

Ok-Calligrapher7 · 2023-12-13T08:52:54+00:00

Life is precious and women deserve joy.

As much as is possible get out of environments where men believe in red pill and where men are attracted to women for youth or youthful skin/face. It's the same principles as them being attracted to teens and kids as it is them being attracted to a 20y.o. Good men exist who are not attracted to that.

Ps. A lot of intellectual pseudo feminist men pretend to be on womens side but are still sleazy and want younger. Don't fall for it. Learn to read the nuanced red flags. Good luck. I'm a woman not accepting the bs from those kinds of men anymore.

BananaHuszar · 2023-12-13T09:22:36+00:00

Girl, I suffer the same. For the SAME reason (father left several ex wives). Could not trust a man for years. So, it's bullshit. There are good men that are not like that. I've met them, not only in relationship to me, but with other women. Couples that truly love and partner together don't split up for agem you have to find a guy that respects you as an equal and thinks highly of you in your non physical attributes. If it's any consolation, most of the couples I know where the man change the women for a much younger one are miserable or divorced, but the ones build in partnership and devotions are amazing. my brother in law's parents are like 60 now and still giggle and slap each other's butts. If you want it for the long run, you have to find a true partner. And take him to therapy with you, talk a lot very honestly about expectations, etc. I managed. You will too!

weightgain40000 · 2023-12-13T10:14:00+00:00

You should break up with him because he's red pill, not just because of the wall thing. I'm sure there's lots of redpill things you both disagree on and you will spend a good chunk of your time arguing about it. Not only that the beliefs he has show he is feeble minded to get sucked into it, and he is just a bitter, negative and cynical person... not fun and stressfull in the long run

boredbitch2020 · 2023-12-13T12:02:57+00:00

You should dump him now and stop wasting your time. Men are balding with bad skin , get em before they're 30(kidding)

Stargazer1919 · 2023-12-13T23:34:34+00:00

Break up with him now. You deserve better than him. He's a creep who openly admits he wants to prey on young girls.

Timetopretend345 · 2023-12-13T22:28:21+00:00

I’m going to keep it real, these types of dudes are going to find issues in women constantly. If it’s not your age, it will be your body after pregnancy, you not being submissive/coachable, you having your own opinion (ew god forbid!). If he really believes in this I’d say leave him now.

It’s hard to date someone that thinks you “have no value” when you have a 30th birthday. Imagine being with someone you’re afraid to celebrate your birthday with.

thetruthishere_ · 2023-12-13T16:35:37+00:00

Dump him.

There are men that dont see women this way.

Comingtoyoulive16 · 2023-12-14T01:33:00+00:00

Yeah honestly if your man says he will be less attracted to you when you turn 30 leave before he leaves or cheats with a younger girl.

Raging_Dragon_9999 · 2023-12-13T15:24:05+00:00

Do some googling and find divorce rates by age gap. That should knock some sense into him. (Hint - the bigger the gap, the bigger the divorce rate.)

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-12-13T19:48:45+00:00

Okay, so right off the bat, the boyfriend needs to go. Just judging by what he said to you, I wouldn't at all be surprised if he left you for someone younger. And not even because you would become less attractive with age but because these red-pilled idiots think they must start dating women far younger than themselves when they are middle-aged. It’s like a badge of honor to them.

With that said, there are tons of men out there who don’t hole these toxic views. I’m nearly 44 and my husband is 40. We’ve been together for almost two decades. He has not left me for someone decades younger. This is the case for millions of couples who are over 30, 40, 50, 60, etc. as well.

Ditch the guy. He sounds awful, and he’ll only get worse over time unless he somehow wakes up and realizes he’s been brainwashed by manosphere ideology.

featherblackjack · 2023-12-13T23:05:03+00:00

Girl, you should break up with any guy who believes in redpill nonsense. Not to mention, why don't MEN get "less attractive" at 30??

Every gender ages. Every gender changes as they age, and not necessarily for the worse. That's how it be. Dump him!

dongtouch · 2023-12-13T20:42:55+00:00

Some people are jerks. People hurt each other and leave each other a lot, but it’s not a certainty. And often it’s not for a younger woman at all.

Women looks absolutely beautiful in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. Most people find their attraction aging with them. I am 40 now and I am super into people 30-50. People in their 20s feel way too young for me, and that’s also true for most of my friends.

Round_Document_9295 · 2023-12-14T11:15:22+00:00

Dont wait until you're 30, Leave the bastard now.

Efficient_Demand_795 · 2023-12-14T13:53:36+00:00

Yeah I’d leave

eatfleshdrinkblood · 2023-12-13T06:28:34+00:00

I would break up with him now, also I don’t believe in the wall for women I’m 33 and I find women my age attractive. I do worry that the wall might exist for guys though, I feel ugly as shit now that I’m in my 30s I hate it.

DerZerficker20x5cm · 2023-12-13T22:29:57+00:00

Why people act like Red pill is a whole identity of a person? Is there nothing else in their life? I would just say that this redpill stuff is one Aspect of many and it surely has some truth to it but also realise there are other important things in life too and everyone is different. How about you decide on your own if you wanna break up with him without caring about any of that red pill stuff. I think that is what you should do

jha_avi · 2023-12-14T11:03:27+00:00

Imagine if I wrote a post about how I'm afraid my partners would file for divorce and take half my stuff. I wonder, how many will call for my head?

Your mutual friend told you one thing and you believed him. Meanwhile the guy who said he will love you regardless of your looks is being ignored? You are creating drama/problem out of the blue. Ye hasn't done anything remotely red pill.

Get a therapist.

Title	Should I break up with my boyfriend when I turn 30 because he believes in the wall?
Author	Independent_Unit_647
Upvotes	54
Comments	37
Date	December 13, 2023 5:35 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/18h9phz/should_i_break_up_with_my_boyfriend_when_i_turn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/should-i-break-up-with-my-boyfriend-when-i-turn-30.1240653 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240653

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