Did a (F) Coworker Confirm Major Parts of TRP Theory?

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-01-18T20:24:10+00:00

This is as close to proof positive of what I'd generally call the more nonsensical parts of TRP theory, with beta orbiters and male harems and all that sort of thing.

It suggests that she doesn't want to consider dating a man that she doesn't already know and have experience with his personality. Plenty of women aren't willing to date from apps or accept a cold approach. What she suggested in no way says she wants orbiters.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2024-01-18T21:40:11+00:00

I then asked how one ought to flirt and potentially enter relationships at work

I mean yeah, it makes sense to be a little more careful and take things slowly if you're working together, even if that's not how you'd conduct yourself with someone you met at a party or a bar. There's a lot more risk if things go wrong. It's a good idea to get to know each other outside work and escalate from there. It's a good idea for you too even if you'd prefer to hookup willy-nilly and deal with the consequences later.

You note that she never said anything about gender, but you're assuming that this escalation is a totally one-sided thing with no effort on her part. It doesn't have to be. Two people who like each other will both put effort into forming a friendship, making plans outside work, and flirting. If your efforts aren't reciprocated... move on. It's not unfair that a person who isn't interested in you isn't putting any effort into helping you date them. If you choose to persist regardless and it goes nowhere, that's a you problem.

I've never been in my life been a "friends first" type of dater but I do find it kinda funny that the big male complaint about them is that the system is hard to game. That's a feature, not a bug.

raldabos · 2024-01-18T20:00:16+00:00

TRP is founded on real human behaviour. However the internet tends to rely in hyperboles way too much when it comes to ideologies.

tacticaltossaway · 2024-01-18T20:03:27+00:00

To flirt without being creepy, according to her, it'd have to be something like her and a coworker chatting/working together and an innocent compliment (your hair looks good today, for example) coming up organically.

How does hair come up organically while working/chatting? When it's not a nerdtastic aerospace engineer saying it?

Even so, after turning it over in my head a few times, it really does seem to be a confirmation of the idea of women wanting several "friends" hanging around them as a pool of applicants that they can choose from.

Technically, its psuedo-confirmation (Words, not actions) for one woman, who given the circumstances as woman in a male-dominated environment, may be an outlier.

operation-spot · 2024-01-18T21:51:18+00:00

I don’t think it makes sense to enter a relationship with a coworker especially as a woman in a male dominated field. It’s an HR nightmare for everyone involved. Taking things slow is important at work because you want to give everyone a chance to change their mind. The same does not apply in the real world.

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2024-01-18T20:09:43+00:00

I've never met a woman that says she prefers to pursue men, yet that's has always happened in my most successful relationships. If you choose to play the role of the pursuer, than the other person has no choice but to play the role of the pursued. You can't mix both and act as the pursuer one day and the pursued another day. You can't be a little bit of that and a little bit of this. It's an either or type proposition.

So if you as the man, choose to be the pursuer, then you are stuck in that role with all the power imbalance that you outlined.

fucksiclepizza · 2024-01-18T22:22:09+00:00

Comments from a singular woman do not confirm a whole theory, really dude.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-01-18T19:27:58+00:00

It confirms the concept of supply and demand

ta06012022 · 2024-01-19T03:52:07+00:00

100% of the onus on men, permits women to be totally passive as they are pursued and thus pedestalized

Sure, in this scenario where it's a man who's interested in a woman he works with. In a scenario where it's a woman who's interested in a man she works with, the roles are reversed.

theReaders · 2024-01-19T01:36:48+00:00

Make friends at work

Hang out, as friends, outside of work
Escalate through flirting, etc
Then, enter a relationship

you're upset because to you this seems like women are forcing every man on earth who wants to stick their dick in them to be nice to them instead of walking up, asking them out, and them ignoring their existence when they say no as you would prefer. but this is literally just normal friendship and then if you reciprocate feelings you can go further, if you don't you won't, I'm sorry that feels like some sort of trick to you, but if you tell every woman you're attracted to you're only giving them the time of day so they'll fuck you I promise they'll tell you to fuck off in 5 seconds and you won't have to be nice like you hate so much. Friendship isn't a trick, and this women isn't suggesting a friendship that only goes one way but that's all you can imagine because you wouldn't do this for a woman unless you could get something out of it. Take out the flirting and this isn't different from friendship, it's just an extremely low stakes way to enter a relationship, nothing wrong with that. It's not leading you own, it's getting to know.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-01-18T20:02:08+00:00

I agree with everything she said. Everything you wrote about consequences, well they are just consequences you deal with. I dont see it as bad, and I wouldnt change myself to alter those consequences.

I prefer meaningful longer lasting relationships. I lean demi sexual as many women do and as a result, I have had men befriend me to just "get with me" as they figure out I am like this. I accept that is just part of the consequences of my personality. I greatly prefer IRL organic interactions over dating apps and her progression matches my ideal.

I also generally find being proactive with men in dating to be a bad thing. I am left leaning like you and when I was in my 20s I was a huge proponent of more women taking initiative (if women want to do that even now, its fine too) but as Ive gotten older I rarely see a woman not being used when they do this. The majority of men "take what they can get" for many different reasons I wont spell out right now and if you want a man ACTUALLY interested in you, letting them take the lead is a good way to get this outcome.

Also, the other stuff you write is just a natural consequence of being a woman in a male dominated field. My husband works in a male dominated field and he says the few women there are very masculine and kinda unpleasant yet men trip over themselves to get with them, so I dont think ***anything*** a woman does in that sort of workplace wont lead to "male orbiters" that just happens because alot of men are apparently thirsty.

richard_golbes · 2024-01-18T20:35:11+00:00

What is with people having a single interaction with a person and then extrapolating that to half the population? Are you trolling? LOL @ "confirms".

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2024-01-19T03:07:05+00:00

Nah, this is how people get together in my social circle which is full of high tier Beckies and Stacylites and high tier normies and Chadlites. This is just normal dating dynamics imo

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-01-20T00:08:33+00:00

Naturally, I asked how one ought to flirt or, separately, compliment someone without being creepy.

While women are not a monolith, I have had several women tell me that a man is either creepy or he isn't.

Ex. A barista I knew (years ago) mentioned that a guy had come in and acted creepy and, like you, OP, I was curious. So I asked what he did and she said he stared at her tits the whole time. So while she continued, I dropped my gaze to her breasts.

After some minutes she said, "You can try all you want, but you will never be creepy."

Pauses for bluepills to cough up hairballs

Additional context: I knew her family outside of work etc., so from her perspective I was a known "good guy" in that I was never going to touch her inappropriately etc., so while staring at her tits was not something I would normally do, she wasn't freaked out by it either.

Other women have told me the same thing, a guy has a creepy vibe or he doesn't. So your co-worker, if she was available, could have said to a (non-creepy) co-worker, "Hey, let's meet out at {bar.}" Different guy, same situation but not creepy so he gets the green light.

Safinated · 2024-01-18T23:25:48+00:00

I fail to see anything at all interesting or notable about what she said

apresonly · 2024-01-18T19:58:09+00:00

you'd have to show that she is interested in pursuing men at work but chooses not to for gendered reasons

she could be content being single unless a better offer falls into her lap

boom-wham-slam · 2024-01-18T22:31:12+00:00

You hit the nail on the head about how that strategy sucks. That's why it's best to self improve to your best ability and then just be direct sexual straight forward. If you're attractive enough even if she doesn't like the advance she will accept the advance. If she doesn't like you she won't accept the advance. Either way now with the same effort to befriend one woman you can now open 20 women with the same or less effort and not waste much time or energy and get results. TRP is entirely about results.

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TheRedPillRipper · 2024-01-18T22:57:14+00:00

it really does seem to be confirmation of the idea of women wanting several”friends” hanging around them as a pool of applicants

The Friendzone isn’t gendered.

Make friends at work

hang out, as friends, outside of work

The pivotal factor occurs between these two points. It’s also where TRP is applicable. How much time between being ‘friends’, and ‘the benefits’, depends first on attraction, then one’s capability to utilise it. I’ve been in the totally opposite boat. Where I didn’t even pick up someone was into me. Until after a work function and subsequent drinks, I woke up at her place.

In her mind, her method might be effective. In reality, if someone is really attracted, in short time, that person is going to make moves.

Godspeed and good luck!

mrbesito · 2024-01-19T05:33:48+00:00

What TRP theory are you referencing? I'm not familiar with any major TRP theory about a pool of friends.

hopeidontforget2021 · 2024-01-19T06:35:40+00:00

It really isn't redpill to say women are passive actors in dating. Even the most ardent feminist isn't going to pretend that women equally pursue and ask out men.

daddysgotanew · 2024-01-19T11:57:51+00:00

Well, we know she’s not attracted to you since she told you all of this. But then again, a country girl from the south isn’t going to interested in some beta leftist anyway.

But yea. The red pill is real. You’d be well advised to follow it.

thisreallyisnotok · 2024-01-19T19:12:46+00:00

Women are creeped out by male transactional attention. If you are flirting as a means to an end before you know the woman agrees on having a “sexual end” then you are by definition a presumptuous creep. This isn’t redpill.

If you flirt because you enjoy flirting and your compliment is genuine then it’s fine. When I give women compliments, they are almost spontaneous often because it is my authentic feeling in the moment. I may even not want to have more of a conversation after that but if she responds then I’ll chat.

Planthoe30 · 2024-01-20T05:33:59+00:00

You are over analyzing. If you constantly look for proof of something then everything that could possibly prove that thing will be “evidence” of it what you are demonstrating is researcher bias.

I tell men all the time I prefer to be friends first and that is how all my long term relationships happened organically. If I enjoyed spending time with someone I typically had tunnel vision for them. Why would I want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t show me they value my friendship?

2024-01-21T18:58:44+00:00

There has to be a kernel of truth in TRP for them to make countless videos and selling grift subscriptions and so on. But hypergamy is overstated by TRP. And make bad behavior of men is understated. It’s just the inverse of TBP.

Title	Did a (F) Coworker Confirm Major Parts of TRP Theory?
Author	InterestingVariety35
Upvotes	18
Comments	42
Date	January 18, 2024 12:52 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/199phcq/did_a_f_coworker_confirm_major_parts_of_trp_theory/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/did-a-f-coworker-confirm-major-parts-of-trp-theory.1243284 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243284