I'm a woman with disabilities. I made a post asking for help in dealing with caregivers who were overly controlling, but because I mentioned having a boyfriend, half the thread just could not stop talking about him. Because I am physically disabled, the commenters went off about how he's a predator and toxic and stuff, and when I said he was none of those things I got insulted and attacked too.

It frustrated me because I ACTUALLY KNOW HIM and these strangers who know literally only two details about him - age and gender - kept trying to lecture me on who he is and wouldn't accept my actual first hand experience.

I talked to my boyfriend about it, and he just said "yeah, that's what it's like". He talked about how that's just the way society is. He talked about how men are constantly seen as predators and even socially pitted against each other by society, so it becomes very socially isolating. He talked about how exhausting it is to just exist around women because he always has to be hyper aware of how he is scrutinized like a wild animal.

I think it's safe to say nobody in my life has ever seen me as a threat. I could never understand being treated like a villain like that constantly.

I've experienced ableism and sexism, and sometimes I don't even know if the way I'm being treated is because of my gender, wheelchair, both, or neither. It sucks having to be on guard all the time. But I have so many support systems and he has none.

It was really eye opening. I don't pay attention to political stuff much, I pretty much only vote based on which party does more for disability issues. But I do want to become aware of how he is treated and perceived.