CMV: You can love someone and still have sex with other people, and a loving partner should respect that and not limit your sexual freedom.

centaurus_a11 · 2024-02-15T10:32:05+00:00

If you love someone, how can you bring yourself to be sexually engaged with other people? I, for one, would never do that. Worst case scenario, where it really is THAT BAD, I'd talk about breaking up rather than be in an open relationship.

SsRapier · 2024-02-15T10:45:47+00:00

Why would i commit to someone who isnt commiting to me?

blebbyroo · 2024-02-15T10:11:29+00:00

Luckily most people want a monogamous partner and lifestyle because they don’t want to share their partners and this is not a debate you need to have within a healthy relationship. Anyone you are debating this topic is likely either a polygamous person which is a minority of the population and you won’t change their mind anyway. Most men here want to be able to have sex with many women including their “wife” or “main girl” but expect monogamy from her. Those guys are excluded by your question and are unlikely to be able to have healthy relationships anyway.

TheRedPillRipper · 2024-02-15T10:44:03+00:00

sharp articulate manner

The most intimate act two people can share, is sex. The more people one shares this act with, the less intimate it becomes. It is the reason casual sex, is rarely as fulfilling as relationship sex. As the intimacy is compromised, by the casualness.

Godspeed and good luck!

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-02-15T10:15:12+00:00

Most people are allergic to their partner having sex with other people. Therefore it's mutually beneficial for both partners with this allergy to agree not to have sex with others.

Loving somebody doesn't necessarily mean you can't protect yourself from being hurt at the same time. You can love a porcupine but still ask him not to hug you because it leaves spikes all over your body :)

januaryphilosopher · 2024-02-15T11:51:25+00:00

If you love someone, you care about what they do and your relationship with them, which usually comes with an expectation of loyalty as an essential part of a good relationship. Love isn't simply "wanting someone to be happy" and having no problem with anything they do so long as they're happy, people who devide to break up are presumably happy without their partner but only a partner who didn't really love or care about their partner wouldn't feel pain to see them go and would just be fine about it. Love means you want to see your relationship succeed, which means caring about whether you have a relationship or a glorified friends with benefits arrangement. You can certainly have live without sex and sex without love, but you're not showing love to someone if you're having sex with other people when you know that hurts them and your relationship.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2024-02-15T12:16:27+00:00

If I know there is a behavior or an activity that would hurt my partner so deeply and possibly traumatise him for life, how could I ever do that to him if I loved him?

I couldn't ever cheat on my boyfriend because I couldn't bring myself to hurt him that much. I couldn't live with that guilt.

tiddermacss · 2024-02-15T15:20:46+00:00

its called being a cuck

MarBitt · 2024-02-15T13:21:59+00:00

A relationship requires not only love, but also compatibility, shared time and goals.

If you are a heterosexual man, then you are not compatible with a homosexual man for a romantic and sexual relationship, even if he would be comfortable with a homosexual relationship with you. It's nobody's fault, there's just no two-way compatibility.

If you are the type of person who wants a monogamous relationship, then you are not compatible with a person who wants a polygamous relationship, even if he would be comfortable with a polygamous relationship with you. Again, it's no one's fault, there's just no two-way compatibility.

The flaw in that opening statement is that it invokes love and what one should be as cause and effect. But nothing like that applies. You may love your brother, but that doesn't mean you want a romantic and sexual relationship with him, or that such a relationship would be suitable for siblings, just because there is love. Some people are suitable for us as romantic partners and others are not.

Celebrate_the_Fact · 2024-02-15T10:25:21+00:00

Why the fuck would I get in a relationship when she’s fucking other guys? I would stay single. Just like I am now. It costs me nothing to not get into a relationship where she’s pounded by other cock.

not-for-me19 · 2024-02-15T12:35:16+00:00

The question is, would you be ok if the person you’re seeing isn’t okay with this and ends the relationship with you without you calling that person insecure/controlling/possessive? I have no problems with other people choosing to be in open relationships so as long as both people in the relationship consent, quite frankly it’s none of my damn business what other people do with their lives. Me being the monogamous person that I am both emotionally and physically, if a person that I’m seeing wants to have sex with other people, or does things like onlyfans, I’m not going to stop them however that’s also not going to stop me from being the one to leave said person if they decide to do it. Would you be one to say lack of compatibility in a relationship or would you be one to call me insecure/controlling?

RubyDiscus · 2024-02-15T13:48:11+00:00

Not everyone can seperate sex from emotions. I wouldn't be able to have sex with another guy alone without developing feelings. Especially in the getting to know eachother phase and before and after. The sex is just a small aspect. I could likely handle a 3some without getting feelings for the extra male but not fucking him alone. My partner can seperate sex from feelings but he doesn't want to have sex with anyone alone. Only with me there.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2024-02-15T14:08:29+00:00

Sex and love go together really well.

Mean_Investigator491 · 2024-02-15T14:11:22+00:00

So this is a personal thing that some people believe and others do not. If you are faced with this from your partner.. talking about it to convince them otherwise is not gonna be helpful.. you are just not compatible.. so move on

Few-Laugh-6508 · 2024-02-15T14:58:14+00:00

If you love someone don't make a promise to be monogamous if you don't mean it. Stay single. The whole premise behind what you're saying is that you get to go out and have your fun and still have a wife waiting at home to take care of all of your other needs.

Feisty-Saturn · 2024-02-15T15:53:07+00:00

Being a loving partner doesn’t equate to being a partner that accepts any behavior from their significant other.

spanglesandbambi · 2024-02-15T10:08:57+00:00

As a woman and I feel I'm going to get hate for this, but if he was bad at sex and I mean couldn't take instruction or wasn't bothered, I would show him the door.

Love can only get you so far, and if you can't get me off, I'm not going to "settle" for years of dutiful sex while I wonder if the celling needs replastering.

You would not be my end game, shall we say if your sex is that bad.

BabaRoomFan · 2024-02-15T13:17:02+00:00

ewwww
If anyone ever says this kind of shit, don't walk away, RUN

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Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-02-15T17:09:02+00:00

Well yes, this is the logical conclusion of "sex is purely physical". The fact that so many people prefer monogamy proves that it is not though.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-02-15T11:26:49+00:00

As long as you and your partner agree on an open relationship, go for it.

TheGreatCummerino · 2024-02-15T10:44:18+00:00

I'm ready for the hate here. But do try to be objective here and realise you're just taking to an Internet stranger.

I have a fetish for cheating on my partner. I absolutely can have sex with another man and absolutely be in love with my partner at the same time.

In fact, the love I feel for my partner makes the sex I'm having with someone else even more overwhelming it by making it taboo, also.

My love is necessary for me to enjoy myself.

--EndLessOrochi-- · 2024-02-15T11:06:16+00:00

It's based on false premises.

First of all, women can't romantically love someone and sexually desire someone else. Their romantic love follows their sexual desire and vice versa.

Secondly, male love is possessive. If you want him to love you, you have to be exclusive with him.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-02-15T16:13:47+00:00

Men can't love a whore. This is why there is so much stigma around women's slutty behaviors because she could be hot, loving sweet, caring, smart etc... most men will not be able to emotionally be connected with her. When they love a girl who they later find this out it's very destructive to their own personal emotional stability. Not all not all not all about this whole thing.

However this is not how it works in the reverse. Women love a man more if he has other opportunities or even takes up some of the opportunities. The women out there stalking men and getting dudes names tattoos on them or giving men their paychecks and signing their houses over to men.... these men are not generally ones who have eyes for the one woman. The more options he has and the more he dips on the options at least a little the more emotionally attached the woman gets to the man. Again not all not all not all.

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MCP1291 · 2024-02-15T13:59:18+00:00

If you’re a man

literaryhogwartian · 2024-02-15T14:14:46+00:00

For my husband and I they are both intertwined, one cannot occur without the other

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-02-15T16:11:59+00:00

For many people, when love is present, sex and love aren't so easily separated. Love produces it's own chemicals in the brain and so does sex. It's not always easy to disentangle the emotions that both of them sometimes share. They are both sharing the same hardware, so it's not so easy to say "oh, that feeling is affection, oh this other feeling is sex". Sex probably triggers a lot of the same feelings as other emotional things for those people.

A lot of this will depend on the environment someone was raised in, and the environment one finds oneself in as an adult. If as a child you were given love by both parents, it might not be so rare a thing for you; it might not be such a precious experience to reciprocate giving and sharing love with someone later on.

Similarly, if sex comes easily to you as an adult, it may not be that special a commodity, and there will be little emotional attachment to sex.

I'm not certain that one state is more desirable than the other. The freedom that comes from abundance does seem admirable, and enviable just because abundance means less suffering. But sex that is intertwined with emotion in some difficult to separate way can be very powerful. It can create intensity in terms of psychic upheaval in ways that I don't think anything else really can.

Ultimately, I think the "sex is just sex" people might be healthier and less dependent (maybe too independent, like unable to form meaningful attachment at times), but that just isn't the way a lot of people are wired.

Safinated · 2024-02-15T16:13:49+00:00

This goes for both genders, riiiiiiiiight?

harmonica2 · 2024-02-15T17:06:27+00:00

I don't think a person can love someone and still have sex with other people without feeling guilty otherwise something is wrong, in my opinion.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-02-15T17:41:16+00:00

Sounds like cuck culture propaganda & also the OPs account looks fake as fuck

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-02-15T18:14:22+00:00

If you want an open relationship, find someone who also wants that. Sure, you can love someone and still be perfectly happy to bang other people, and ideally, that person will be fine with you doing so. But what if the person you love doesn't do open relationships and wants monogamy? Well, then you have to choose what is more important to you - the freedom of sexual experimentation and novelty that open relationships offer, or the love you'd get from this person if you were to only be with them. I don't think either of these choices is good or bad but you'll have to pick one.

You can love someone and still have sex with other people, and a loving partner should respect that and not limit your sexual freedom.

We could also reframe it to be ''You can be attracted to other people but not want to act on it because you value your committed relationship more, and a loving partner should respect that and not expect you to engage in a relationship dynamic you don't want''. It's fine to be monogamous, it's fine to be open or poly or whatever but do find someone who is on the same page. Otherwise, it's just one person expecting the other to compromise on their happiness and values for their sake. A relationship should make both people feel happy, safe, and loved, not just one of them.

MistyMaisel · 2024-02-15T19:55:16+00:00

If my boyfriend fucks other people, I know he doesn't love me. Someone who loves me would not betray my trust, desires, commitment, and possessiveness in such a flagrant and obvious way.

Nor, if I genuinely went to have sex with another man would I think I loved my boyfriend. It would be the most present and clear sign possible that whatever love we once shared is kaput. Not just because it would be an obvious betrayal of his trust, desires, commitment, and possessiveness, but also because it would indicate I no longer see him as what I want.

apresonly · 2024-02-15T20:20:35+00:00

you don't love someone if you are putting them at risk for STDs

wtknight · 2024-02-15T21:39:29+00:00

Sex and love are not two different things for me, though. And I don’t want to be with someone else who thinks that they are two different things. Other people can believe and do what they want, though.

Spyro7x3 · 2024-02-15T22:13:05+00:00

You can love her and let her fuck other guys but she doesn’t love you

Next question

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-02-16T02:01:54+00:00

This dude must of smoked a bowl...

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