Ladies - Did you feel more dependent on your man when you fell in love with him?

demedermidimi · 2024-03-03T23:43:50+00:00

what does "fully surrender to him" and "feel like a princess" mean

Susiewoosiexyz · 2024-03-04T00:29:32+00:00

No, none of this. I'd never "surrender" to a man. That's stupid.

I'm my own person and would never feel comfortable being completely reliant on someone else.

crookedsummer2019 · 2024-03-04T00:13:20+00:00

No. I’ve never felt that way and I have been and am currently in love.

I’m not comfortable asking for help so I actually prefer to rely on myself for most things. I’m very affectionate with my partner and love him though, I just don’t rely on him for most things.

I like having space and time to myself away from my partner. Once a week to go off and do my own thing for a few hours. A bit of time on my own in the evenings to chill. It actually makes me enjoy his company more. He’s the same way so it works very well for us.

EulenWatcher · 2024-03-04T00:26:48+00:00

Even with your clarifications I don’t really get what you’re talking about. Infatuation and wanting to be close to your loved one isn’t nor surrender and it doesn’t really contradict the idea of being independent. Wanting to spend your love with someone doesn’t mean you cannot live without them.

Also in a healthy couple people do rely on each other. They trust their partner can take care of them if it’s needed. You cannot be totally independent as a couple because you have to include your partner in your plans. If you want to build life together, you both have to care for each other’s opinion.

Trouvette · 2024-03-03T23:54:49+00:00

I don’t resonate with this at all. I need my space and quiet time. I need to be able to do my own thing. I can rely on my partner to be trustworthy and supportive, but I would never say I was dependent.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-03-04T00:15:43+00:00

Can't relate. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and I enjoy spending time with him, even if it involves doing something mundane like getting groceries or cleaning the house. But I want my alone time and actively enjoy going out and doing things on my own.

mrs_seng · 2024-03-04T00:30:31+00:00

No, what twisted idea is this?!?

First of all, i am an introvert, he is an extrovert who understands my need of me time to recharge.

Safinated · 2024-03-04T00:02:18+00:00

No. I felt desirous. Gimme moaaaaaar!!!

ashpr0ulx · 2024-03-04T00:35:17+00:00

dependent? no. i’m a bit traditional, i’m happy to let a man lead, but i think being dependent is a bit too far. most healthy men do not want a super clingy, needy girlfriend. and i do not wish to be in a relationship where my guy feels he is not entitled to his own space and time. it comes off as unhealthy and codependent to me.

Novadina · 2024-03-03T23:59:11+00:00

No I don’t feel like I need to “surrender” - I don’t feel like he is an opponent at war with me. I also don’t feel like a dependent child, he has always been my partner. And the only time I feel like a “princess” would be during some kind of roleplay in the bedroom, lol.

I do want to be around him a lot, but that doesn’t mean someone is dependent or “fully surrendering” - it feels like love. We enjoy spending time together, it’s not one sided or me surrendering anything.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2024-03-04T01:08:00+00:00

I don't feel the need to surrender at all.

That's.. Weird.

Always wanting to be together just seems to be a thing at the start of most relationships. It's no big deal.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-03-04T04:05:32+00:00

i have felt the second thing, not some weird submissive princess thing

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2024-03-04T00:14:48+00:00

I am absolutely as independent as I was before I met him. I love him with all my heart, and I love spending time with him. I refuse to “succumb” or feel like I “can’t fully function”. That’s some borderline shit right there. Why would you WANT a woman like that?

I know I’m head over heels in love with him because I feel head over heels in love with him. That doesn’t mean I have to surrender my integrity or personhood to prove it

Prudent-Conflict-557 · 2024-03-04T03:45:08+00:00

Uh.. I mean yeah. It can be switched off though. I prefer to be with a man I can just shut my brain off around.. and it’s a good sign of I feel I can. But it’s not a deal breaker either way, ultimately..

januaryphilosopher · 2024-03-04T06:24:36+00:00

There's nothing to surrender to and I wouldn't be in a relationship if I felt that way. I'm not a dependent kind of person and would not go out with someone I was dependent on, I can and during the course of my relationship have survived entirely on my own. I don't need him around, I want him around and choose for him to be around as he chooses me. I'm more independent now than I was before my relationship because I was younger then. I like spending time together but I definitely do need space to be healthy just like anyone else. Feeling dependent is an indicator of either 1) being a child or developmentally challenged or 2) having an unhealthy relationship setup, not love. Like, how do you think the other partner in this setup feels love? I just feel like a normal human being with my fiancé, although if I felt like a princess I certainly wouldn't be feeling dependent on anyone!

Direct-Alternative70 · 2024-03-04T05:37:05+00:00

I was independent my entire life until I’m met my current partner.

The first couple months of us dating I was either on the phone with him 24/7 or I was at his place. Then once I moved in, I actually became a bit toxic with how dependent I was on him.

I didn’t want any alone time. When he wanted space I felt like it was something that I had done wrong, and I actually would argue about it with him about how he was “pushing me away” and other BS. We both were obsessed with each other and would stay up till 45 in the morning just talking and hanging out with each other.

We would spend days in his room not leaving.

Two years later were not like that anymore, but I am still extremely dependent on him

operation-spot · 2024-03-06T19:32:51+00:00

Any woman who does this is a fool who continues to believe in fairytales. You must be able to exist as an individual because you are you before you are someone’s wife or girlfriend especially since that can change in an instant.

Sure, I’ll spend more time with someone I’m dating but ultimately my life will go on if they decide to leave and I’ll still do things for myself even if they help out a bit as well.

snowyjenna · 2024-03-04T05:10:00+00:00

Yes.

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Pola_Lita · 2024-03-04T02:14:16+00:00

I definitely did. I suppose because he was so clear about that's what he wanted and I could rely on him to make it possible.

I've definitely never been the CEO type but at the time I was completely comfortable thinking I'd never marry and I'd be fine.

MistyMaisel · 2024-03-04T04:52:00+00:00

I do want to be around him all the time, but, I also enjoy my space and my friends. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I suppose.

I do feel like a princess around him. I can't say my independence has been destroyed any. They aren't really mutually exclusive.

I'm aware I could conqueror all these things. I'm also aware it's easier when I have him.

Planthoe30 · 2024-03-04T06:11:58+00:00

Did you feel more dependent on your man when you fell in love with him?

I think when you fall in love with someone your happiness does depend on them to an extent- but I have also thought that about other people and learned to be happy without them. So I’m not sure I’d consider myself dependent on him to be happy, but I recognize that I enjoy being around him and he definitely increases my happiness. I also miss his company when I travel without him but I still have fun regardless. My husband isn’t an outdoorsy person so if I want to advanced skiing or hiking I usually travel and go without him.

thelajestic · 2024-03-04T11:28:23+00:00

Yes ish. I wouldn't call it surrender exactly. But although I'm perfectly happy and capable of functioning on my own, I prefer to be with my husband. In previous relationships I really relished the opportunity to spend time alone, but in this one I can take it or leave it. I'm not dependent on him for entertainment or whatever - we can be in the same room doing something completely different. But it's just nicer when he's there. Not sure if that's "being dependent" or just "enjoying someone's company" though 😅

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-03-04T12:59:40+00:00

Yes, I have enough money on my own, for both of us, I can provide and take care of myself. But I'm emotionaly dependent on the man I love, I need him, I'm nothing without him.

Poetic_Dew · 2024-03-04T13:15:39+00:00

No, sadly, the guy I once was with it was lust, not love. I want to aim for the right lap. You have to fall into the right lap on the bus. Now, wouldn't that be a hoot.

But I will tell this story. Every time I took the bus, I saw this couple together like love birds.

They are kinda average looking but really cute together. She cuddles with him in the chair on the bus.

They hold each other really close. I can't help wonder when that will happen to me since i am not so young?

Anyhow, it's just sweet, and I have seen their both travel separate. It just goes to show that people do find love no matter what they look like.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-03-04T14:10:11+00:00

With the right partner a lot of women are that way. I’ll put it to you this way, I am fully skilled to travel the world alone. I do it all the time. Except when I am traveling with a specific person. When I am with that person, I don’t do anything. I fully allow him to be in charge. Sometimes I don’t even know where we are going.

The more time we spend together while traveling, the more my guard comes down from being hyper focused on all the things. That allows me more mental space to cater to his needs. He hates getting out of the shower because it’s cold. Because I know that he has handled everything about our day and I don’t have to think about a schedule, I warm his towel up with the hair dryer. I make sure his clothes are laid out. I order his coffee the way that he likes. I do the nurturing things because he has taken over the major mental tasks.

So that phenomenon does happen but it requires a specific feeling of safety and trust that allows those guards to come down.

This isn’t uncommon at all.

Title	Ladies - Did you feel more dependent on your man when you fell in love with him?
Author	BuiltForTruth
Upvotes	4
Comments	34
Date	March 3, 2024 11:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1b5vqwh/ladies_did_you_feel_more_dependent_on_your_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ladies-did-you-feel-more-dependent-on-your-man.1246994 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246994

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