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TruBaller13 · 2022-09-17T21:19:58+00:00

Don’t give up.
You have to be social. Don’t be afraid to talk to guys. A lot of guys want what u want but are afraid to make the first move.
Any guy that questions what u have and haven’t experienced isn’t genuine and u should avoid them at all cost.
Guys do like shy girls. ( speaking from personal experience)
Hope this helps!

power-patron · 2022-09-17T23:22:34+00:00

Have you tried asking out a guy? Just, like, "I think you're cool. Would you like to go out and get ice cream?"

You don't have to tell them you're a virgin. You can, but you don't have to.

Maybe go out of your comfort zone and let him kiss you, and then end the date and decide if/when you want to take things further.

I think everyone wants to go on old-school dates, but they feel like hookups are more expected.

Snoo-50214 · 2022-09-18T02:33:40+00:00

Don’t let anyone tell you that waiting for a relationship is a bad idea, you’re much better off having that first experience with someone you’re comfortable with and can trust. Also, it won’t be a one night stand, you’ll be able to learn a lot more and gain experience in a healthy setting.

A lot of other girls complain about guys hitting on them, but it’s exaggerated a lot of the time to stroke their egos. Just because the energy you get from guys doesn’t match the stories you hear from girls doesn’t mean there’s anything different about you.

The next time you see a guy checking you out who you think is cute, just go over and say “hey my name is ____”. Then let them do the rest.

Your generation is getting progressively worse with in-person interactions, so a big part of why you’re not getting hit on is probably because your age group just relies on IG and tinder to do the work for them.

sussykeke · 2022-09-17T22:21:51+00:00

Guys don't really give a fuck about whether a girl is shy or not in my experience. Maybe if you see a guy you like staring at you try smiling at him. Or better yet, start a friendly conversation. You don't need to necessarily ask him out, just give him a little push. Then hopefully he picks it up and delivers on your expectations of trying to date you.

shiroe314 · 2022-09-18T03:28:15+00:00

1) probably the wrong sub-reddit this one is more pickup focused. Not that people don’t want to help.

2) give it time. Do you expect to get fit from going to the gym once? It might take 5 years, its a process.

3) make sure to spend time with people. If you do nothing but stay at home, nothing is going to happen. Go out with people, and do things.

4) feel free to approach. It doesn’t have to be sexual right away. If you see a guy looking at you, and you are interested. Feel free to talk to them. This takes practice. But the risk is lower than you think it is.

5) touch barrier. You can control this, but if you want to escalate, break the touch barrier. Grab his arm, then maybe move to the outer thigh. Guys are trained to not touch.

leafhog · 2022-09-18T07:51:42+00:00

How do you know what kind of guy you want.

I wanted a relationship at your age and didn’t know how to find one. I felt like hookup culture was shallow and I wasn’t into that. But then that extended to thinking pursuing someone based just of physical attraction was shallow. I wanted to get to know someone first before I dated them.

The problem is DATING IS HOW YOU GET TO KNOW SOMEONE! Go on dates. You don’t have to get sexual. Tell them you are old fashioned.

You are doing something that makes you unapproachable. I don’t know what it is. But if you see a guy checking you out, you can approach him. I know how hard that is with social anxiety because I have it too, but you need to push through it.

For a first conversation, keep expectations low. It is so easy to put all of your hopes into a single approach. Actively try not to.

Fear of rejection is strong. I got past that by pretending that I knew the other person was into me. I backed off when they offered evidence to the contrary, but sometimes it led to great meets.

You can also ask guys why they didn’t come talk to you.

notaproblem333 · 2022-09-18T09:10:50+00:00

You’re looking for a relationship in all the wrong places. Almost all guys on Tinder, college, or clubs just want to hook up.

You need to be more social in a way that makes sense to you. Do you have any hobbies? Meet up groups? Maybe a religion? Try to find a social group that isn’t just random people who get drunk together.

NatashOverWorld · 2022-09-17T22:33:47+00:00

Maybe look into social activities where you'll meet men you like. And even if they don't ask you for a date, you can always ask them.

incognito3107 · 2022-09-18T05:54:48+00:00

Why you repost this? All previous advices turned up to be invalid?

Once again, you need to present yourself as a girlfriend material. Be social, be friendly, embrace your femininity, present some value.

Contango6969 · 2022-09-17T21:41:18+00:00

Being a virgin makes you more desirable. At 21 you aren’t in danger of getting old any time soon. I’m sure it will all work out. If you are indeed cute and have tinder you’ve options galore. Idk why you seem so stressed.

zapadz · 2022-09-17T23:43:51+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sYm3Y5OGDE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZrCbMLsPRk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmPFpBvDIkQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzKZrnL-86A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euPx9iieoiw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELlu-XQQPZw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22WJuU2-fCk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGHhhuAeoys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p33iirYYnrI

Do not hook up or have sex before getting in a relationship, it can make you attached to the guy but also decrease his interest in you.

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-09-18T03:01:41+00:00

“Hookup culture” is such a meaningless buzz term. Start going on dates with guys. If you enjoy their company and find them attractive, get physical with them. Its not a guarantee every guy you fuck will turn into your boyfriend, but some will. It’s not “hookup culture” to pursue a relationship in which intamicy happens before commitment. You can even have a friend with benefits without it being a club one night stand.

zapadz · 2022-09-17T23:37:31+00:00

I thought women hated being approached, isn't this every girls dream? Of being ignored by guys?

Environmental_d · 2022-09-18T16:20:29+00:00

First of all, I want to tell you that you are on a right track. In this day and age, it's hard to find a true love. I honestly think you were lucky to not meet someone who lied about their feeling to just get under your pants yet. During my college year, most of my peers were laughed at me for turning down one night stand opportunities with some ladies. I wanted to find the right person to share the most intimate action. Or least I want that person to be someone I can see myself having a child together with at least. Over the course of my 34 years, did have some one nights and some gfs as well. I was toxicated most of the time when having these one nights, and there was not a single time I dont regret sleeping with these women. Why? I don't know. It was always hard to not form a bond with someone I slept with and when I get to know them I just knew theres no way things will workout between us. Also I've hooked up with my best female friend once and we are no longer talking to each other anymore. We both love each other but we both knew that we weren't compatible with totally different perspectives.

I've been single for last 3 years and I've tuned down a few one night stands even though I was extremely horny. At one point, I was masterbaiting 3 times everyday. Then about 3 months ago, I stopped jerkin off and stopped watching porn. Felt like it was ruining my mental and physical status. I became more level headed and I actually found someone now I can see myself to be with rest of my life. We are seeing each other for over a month yet we haven't had a sex yet. We talked about it alot and it's not bothering me at all. I've helped her to cum a few times and I'm just enjoying to get to know her slowly. You are still young and there are endless opportunities for you. At least you seem like you know what you truly want for yourself. Sex with strangers or fwb sound fun but it's nothing like when you are actually having one with someone whom you truly adore and cherish. Try to focus on self improvement and try to convert your sexual energy into something else until you find the one. You are a rare hidden gem and there's someone out there who's looking for someone like you. Don't give up. You are still very young and it's totally okay.

bobqat · 2022-09-18T17:24:58+00:00

Hey don't worry! I get it that you have social anxiety.

But trust me, it will go away as u slowly desensitize yourself to social situations.

Here's what you can do:-

List out your hobbies.
List out the qualities u like in your ideal guy or partner.
Now find places where u can do step 1 & visit places where u can find the guy who ideally has those qualities. For example:- if u like guys who are into music, go visit a guitar shop or join a music class.
If u do the above steps u will most likely run into good number of prospects you would wanna date and have a relationship with.
If nothing, in the above steps work. Go join a vounteering activity like NGOs. I am assuming u are in college, every college has a volunteering club join that club and participate in their events. You will meet new guys over there. It will also help u with ur social anxiety as being altruistic ie doing something good for humanity without expecting anything in return- this will make u feel good from inside.
Do all of the above and along with it, get a gym membership. Get in shape, workout..look sexy, eat good...you will start feeling good from inside as well- which will help u with social anxiety as well. If u are feeling great maybe posts some sexy pictures on social media while u are working out. It may attract a few.. It's upto u after that whether u wanna pursue them or not but it will increase your odds of finding yourself a mate.

Do try the above and let us know how it went :)

epimpstyle · 2022-09-18T00:36:26+00:00

Social anxiety is not a usual term from the streets. How do you know about it?

Reddit is full of weirdos, dammit.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-09-18T00:06:58+00:00

How can you say you do not believe in hookup culture if you've never had sex? Lol you haven't even experienced it before.

2022-09-18T02:11:24+00:00

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rumblingtummy29 · 2022-09-18T05:02:00+00:00

What the fuck are you waiting for? Do you think you will have less wrinkles and your titties will get perkier with time?

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-09-18T02:32:37+00:00

There’s plenty of guys out there that would like to be your bf. You’re not meeting the right guys

peterjohnson1748 · 2022-09-18T05:52:27+00:00

My goodness you sound like an old fashioned girl OP! Hang in there, don’t give up or just give it up. There’s a great guy out there looking for you. Your paths just haven’t crossed yet. First time sex usually isn’t a fairytale event either. Save it until you have a committed partner. It will mean more.

_iDiginfo8174 · 2022-09-18T06:02:32+00:00

Yea Honestly u can ask someone or even better find someone who actually who wants a relationship

No-Syllabub6905 · 2022-09-18T07:46:29+00:00

Girl you’re 21! The amount of people shocked I didn’t have my first kiss or that I never masturbated was crazy and I’m 22. I also don’t do hookup culture. It’s honestly whatever. Focus on you and better yourself cause you might meet someone unexpectedly.

The wait is worth it in my opinion for when you find someone you connect with though. And guys do like shy girls ( I am one with a social meter that declines rapidly) and I hate crowds. You have to put yourself out there in some way though by either socializing and even tinder messaging first on tinder.

ScandelousZbeth · 2022-09-18T09:00:56+00:00

Keep waiting for the one

Suvam005 · 2022-09-18T09:37:12+00:00

It's ok to be Virgin..(22yr old Virgin here)

gyxkid · 2022-09-18T11:01:37+00:00

My ex was like that, who I had approached in a supermarket

If you hang out in the right spots long enough, it could happen. Whether park, library, cafe etc. Probably even better is a niche dating app or something. But better to just be there incidentally when going about your day, instead of trying to get noticed. Most guys are either pussies (blame sensitivity culture) or fuckboys (blame hookup culture) but keep at it and you might get lucky, and in your case as a girl all you have to do is just be there looking cute

dud230 · 2022-09-18T11:38:09+00:00

Sometimes we men look at girls who are pretty but decide not to approach as we know the girls are out of our league and its pointless anyway. Thus, we just move on with our lives. So not necessarily having no approaches = ugly, it just we don't deserve you. Hope you understand.

SeaPen333 · 2022-09-18T13:43:02+00:00

Remember social skills are a SKILL, one that can be improved with practice. Practice this in the mirror- seriously practice it at least ten times before heading out so you have more confidence. If you have a plan of knowing what you are going to say that will help you.

If you see a guy staring at you, and he's cute, smile and bite your lip. Hold eye contact for about 4-5 seconds, tilt your head slightly.

If he does walk over say "You have beautiful eyes. What's your name?"

Have some questions ready "Are you here with friends? Are you in school or working? Which school/what do you do?"

If its going well and you're still feeling him say "Oh my god I love your arm muscles!" and touch his arm.

Remember to have your own drink and don't accept drinks except directly from a bartender. Also you can ask your friend to be your wingwoman.

ogfk · 2022-09-18T15:40:33+00:00

You probably don’t get approached because you do t smile when they stare. The other friendlier girls are doing that.

To throw All American back at you, if Thea from All American homecoming can pull it off, you can as well.

GeorgeKaplanIsReal · 2022-09-18T15:41:42+00:00

When did this sub become a relationship one? It’s about seducing somebody or somebodys. Not a “how do I get a SO?”

LilCheG · 2022-09-18T15:53:15+00:00

I know cute guys ask me to hookup (mainly through Tinder but sometimes irl) but I’m a virgin waiting for my first bf. It’s hard to wait cause I really want to have sex and the guys that ask are cute but I’m waiting! Is there something I’m doing wrong (other than being shy)? DO GUYS EVEN LIKE SHY GIRLS??

absolutely ridiculous post, there's tons a cute guys not even avg guys asking u for hookups without u having to give any effort and cry here, its just make no sense

Jazzlike_Pay_4039 · 2022-09-18T17:40:09+00:00

You’ll find someone for you soon im sure. Don’t give up :) you can find people in the weirdest of ways lol

random-naija-guy · 2022-09-18T18:21:41+00:00

You’ve been asking the same question in multiple subreddits for days

Get off Reddit, and use the advice you’ve gotten. Go rizz some guys up

Titty_Slicer_5000 · 2022-09-18T19:23:39+00:00

Have you considered that your demeanor may come off as unapproachable? If you want guys to approach you it would do a lot if you smiled at them when they were looking at you. Smile, look away, and then look back and smile again. This is a clear indicator of interest and will be the push a lot of guys need to come and talk to you.

2022-09-18T20:22:45+00:00

You're only 21. And you are a female. You claim to be attractive. You are basically absolutely guaranteed to find a guy.

Don't give up your most valuable possession for some fuckboy. Even if you're eager for it I'd say wait until you find somebody you can make love with not just have sex with.

Men LOVE shy women as opposed to bold/loud women. There's a chance the guys might be intimidated by you.

Don't give up. And definitely don't give it up. Be patient! A low body count is everything to a man looking for something serious.

below298 · 2022-09-18T22:39:41+00:00

There is countless single men that are looking for relationships ones.. all the nerdy men, shorter guys, average looking, always working.. tons.

It might be where you’re at or where you’re looking.. but there is not a shortage on single men looking for serious relationships, especially online lol.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	42
Comments	100
Date	September 17, 2022 9:09 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xgxqx9/i_hate_being_a_virgin_as_a_21f_but_i_dont_believe/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1249837 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249837

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