I asked a girl out and she said yes, but she changed her mind.

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2021-06-07T20:32:51+00:00

Important lesson for you. Acting mature and showing her that it isn't bothering you is how you crush life as a strong, centered man. Never take rejection personally. Keep things friendly between you two. Often girls are also on the lookout for a perfect match for their friends. Keep doing what you're doing. You got this.

nukerxy · 2021-06-07T19:58:06+00:00

She enthusiastically said yes

That's her initial reaction, her feeling.Later she overthought, had "rational" points against it. Maybe she is insecure / unsure about it.

Aisforanal7 · 2021-06-07T20:28:26+00:00

Dating coworkers can get really complicated. She probably told a friend and got advice not to go for you. Don’t take it personally and try again when one of you quits/ leaves

ShredableSending · 2021-06-07T20:05:39+00:00

If she's leaving at the end of summer and was genuine, ask her again before she leaves.

Traditional-Nose4568 · 2021-06-07T20:22:41+00:00

Just get to know her without any pressure. Her indecisiveness might change

nfornear · 2021-06-07T21:27:12+00:00

So many 'dont ask again, only ask once or whatevers'

Obviously dont wait around for her and keep dating, but if at the end of the summer you are still getting along there is no negative in asking her again

CuprimPilus · 2021-06-07T20:51:30+00:00

Awwww dude!! Trust me ive been there bro aha but take it as a victory my man you had the balls to ask her out in person and in a day and age where most people think courting is sending dick pics to girls youve done well my friend!!

Youll bounce back man and trust me youll toughen up to the point that rejection doesnt hurt anymore and thats where masculine energy comes from! Keep your head up king!

thro_away_2021 · 2021-06-07T21:58:47+00:00

20 year olds are fickle. Don’t take it personally.

eugenedtyp · 2021-06-07T21:10:30+00:00

as a male, i did the same thing to a girl i worked with. to be honest, i wouldn’t date a co-worker, and i can’t recommend it i’m good faith to someone else.

Joe_Doblow · 2021-06-07T21:57:15+00:00

Keep at it. Keep asking more girls out. Trial and error

Lust9897 · 2021-06-08T00:57:12+00:00

Quit your job. Problem solved

AcidChris773 · 2021-06-08T01:19:30+00:00

Keep it moving king 🤴🏻

TheOffice_Account · 2021-06-07T21:13:46+00:00

I’m just going to be normal at work and act like it didn’t happen

Yeah, best to behave like this. Sometimes, this is a shit-test, and seeing that you're still confident and not butt-hurt can make her feel more attracted to you.

realthomasshelby · 2021-06-07T21:17:30+00:00

Whatever the reason, she’s entitled to change her mind.

athamemae · 2021-06-08T00:21:21+00:00

I’m a women that has had a crush on coworkers and have been asked out by said coworkers and my heart initially said yes, but went back on it because my brain would then remember that not getting involved romantically with coworkers is a very firm boundary of my own and had to tell them. Could have maybe been a similar situation? You handled it well. Sometimes people will forget their boundaries and say yes to things and just have to backpedal a bit. Maybe she’ll be more comfortable once she knows you and she finishes the job for the summer. If it’s meant to be then it’ll work out and if not it could be cause something better is coming!

Alternative_East8996 · 2021-06-08T00:26:24+00:00

hahahahaha that titles hilarious

171322pinpinpin · 2021-06-08T06:17:22+00:00

She probably was interested in you, and just backed off after realizing the risk of dating a co-worker. I do agree with her, dating co-workers is messy.

If one of you ends up leaving the company try to ask her out again.

You handled it well by the way. Try to remain friends with her.

Kennikno3 · 2021-06-08T07:42:00+00:00

"Her loss" is correct. Keep going King, a better girl is waiting for you out there.

Lancebanks · 2021-06-07T20:45:24+00:00

“It’s not hearing no, it’s hearing yes and then her changing her mind” not the exact situation but I’ve been in one similar. Just keep working, be like you have been. A lot of summer left to enjoy

indoorimp · 2021-06-07T20:55:54+00:00

I wouldn't be friends just because she denied you and asked. You wanted a date, not a female friend. She said no, I'd just be an acquaintance at work is all. Keep moving onto other dates.

dzoya1266 · 2021-06-07T22:18:34+00:00

If you just said that, then just keep your cool and dont be too friendly with her. You did the best thing possible.

tastethepain · 2021-06-07T20:21:19+00:00

She asked around about you and didn’t like what she heard.

lazzzylover · 2021-06-07T20:49:17+00:00

Sadly I used to always do this. Sound super excited only cause I’m polite and the dude was in front of my face so I would say yes to not hurt his feelings. Regret it mins later then have anxiety the entire time until I cancelled - which was always on day of. I’d vaguely say let’s try again 3 week of blah blah blah but would never get back.

TorukMaktou · 2021-06-07T20:56:12+00:00

I matched with a girl on bumble. We vibed and the convo flowed so well that I thought it had to be a bot or that an OF link was in bound but nahh. Convo moved to snap, we set up a meet for today and she hasn't responded to my text. Won't bother double texting her. Its just more of the same of what's out there. Later they be complaining about the lack of "real men" lol.

akareeno · 2021-06-07T21:08:42+00:00

Went through something similar. Seemed really into getting to know me and even asked what I do after work. 1 week later I suggest hanging out and she said sure, just message her. So I text her a week later and then tells me she’ll get to back to me but that she has a bf in case I was “looking for something other than a work friend” I don’t really get it, tbh I think it’s a lie and she just doesn’t date co workers. I told her I genuinely wanted to hang out as friends so she said she’ll lmk if she ever does want to hangout…

brandonmcgritle · 2021-06-07T21:24:22+00:00

As far as I'm concerned, it's done. If you ask her out again, she'll lose respect for you and you are reinforcing her hesitation. She changed her mind, and you should be done because you have SO many other options who wouldn't think twice about being with you

doglover549 · 2021-06-07T21:54:05+00:00

Make her jealous

hellcat82 · 2021-06-08T04:36:30+00:00

Don’t dip your pen in the company ink

Shakespeare-Bot · 2021-06-07T21:02:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ireallyloveoats · 2021-06-07T22:12:48+00:00

It's hard because it could be one of a million things. She could be hung up on an ex, maybe she stalked your social media and saw something she didn't like, maybe her friend said your nose looks too big, women are crazy dependent on their feelings and friend's opinions and a whole host of things they don't take control over.

realthomasshelby · 2021-06-07T22:10:17+00:00

“Her loss”… LMAO what a cope. You are the one who has clearly lost. YOU asked her out and got rejected. Keep coping

Excellent_Werewolf_9 · 2021-06-07T20:50:45+00:00

Just say you guys can just hangout then. Things will naturally happen if you both want to. It's not rejection, and its important to show her that its not a big deal to you, to show that you do have a choice, and that you recognize that she too do have a choice, and that you don't take that personally. I bet, however, that she likes you, and just wants you to be more insisting

Standgrounding · 2021-06-07T21:02:33+00:00

Careful when mixing business and pleasure!

iRiverflow · 2021-06-07T21:42:05+00:00

Don't take it personally. I had the same personal rule with co-workers when I was working in college. I couldn't afford to lose the job. Near the end, one of my co-workers lost his job cause of drama due to dating.

memecatcher247 · 2021-06-07T21:44:16+00:00

It’s not that deep. She literally told she just didn’t want a relationship with someone from work. This isn’t about taking Ls or Ws. She’s 20 and she’s also learning about the work environment.

Think about it from her perspective. If you guys started dating she would be known as the intern who dated a worker. If she has professional ambition she wouldn’t want to take that route, especially because you never know whether your internship might turn into a full time job.

She likes you enough to be friends though, so I wouldn’t pass on that if you enjoy her company.

krispykreme01 · 2021-06-07T22:36:50+00:00

One of the truest pickup lines I’ve seen in a movie Is what Adam Sandler tells his “son”in grown-ups

The three step rule im just talking about the last one tho

Go out with me before your friends call me ugly.

Lol she can be totally into you but it’s gotta go through the board of approval most of the time . Not saying that’s what happened but maybe.

Also yeah work relationships can get messy especially for the summer I got stories but Reddit prolly won’t believe me lol.

EastEndMontrealer1 · 2021-06-07T23:05:01+00:00

I had this same problem. I asked a girl that I like out on a date for this week. Her exact text said "Aw I'd love it!". The she goes on to tell me that she's working so she'll be finishing at 10-10:30, and would let me know. I messaged her yesterday asking what time to pick her up up, and she hasn't answered me yet.

Dakessian · 2021-06-07T23:37:53+00:00

Mixing business with pleasure can be difficult. I would say friends is fine but things can get uncomfortable at work if things end up in a bad note. Still, nice job on asking her out.

hopetheydontfindme · 2021-06-07T23:48:49+00:00

Don't take it personally, cancelations happen for a plethora of reasons. Just keep moving forward with self-improvement and don't take it personally

SkyYoda99 · 2021-06-08T00:20:29+00:00

Next time don’t ask if she still likes you ,you got her number and she was excited ,play it cool

Bru_seahb · 2021-06-08T01:53:30+00:00

Hey, ironically today I was in the same situation on the other foot. Well here’s my point of view and experience… A month ago I started this new job and immediately connected with a great guy who I work with. It started with friendly conversation, a couple days later I told him he could have my number, which I wrote on a paper for him, so we could talk about “trade shifts or if I had questions about the job “ he said no then a couple days later we had a full day working together and he asked for my number. I really like him and was excited to see where this goes. Then Memorial Day my boss tells me that the guy likes me as well. Well I don’t like hear say I appreciate honesty so I ask him about it and he confirmed. We both like each other but the moral of the story is that it’s work.. you can flirt all you want but if you get intimate as a girl your mind is already telling you to be careful bc you(I) do not want to be the new girl who is already dating someone at work (people gossip) (2) it can be weird because your work life is now your personal life as In some one at you job has seen you “vulnerable “/ naked. It is different! (3) maybe it’s just better be friends bc you may be great together at work and vibe out and do not want to ruin that. Trust me I really like the guy and he’s kinda what makes my days better at work. I would not want to risk that connection for a what if kinda sticky situation.

Told the guy I like today that it wouldn’t work. Which makes me sad but I think it is best for the long run. This is only my opinion man. I wish I could say f*** it but I like my job as well.

idrinkapplejuice42 · 2021-06-08T02:07:03+00:00

Bruh this is my life. Its always an enthusiastic yes and it never goes anywhere. Ive had them "change their mind" a couple times, but most of the time they just flake the day of. I think some women are just afraid to reject anybody honestly to their face so theyll say yes then cancel over text cause its easier. And i think some girls probably just get nervous themselves and cqnt follow through.

MisterShogunate · 2021-06-08T02:25:08+00:00

Hypersocial people learn to always say yes to opportunities and reject later due to whatever reason because it's just socially more advantageous to not reject people in outright. It's possible she never intended to go through in the first place. It's why rejection doesn't matter it could be any of the million possible reasons that have nothing to do with you.

viking600 · 2021-06-08T05:04:52+00:00

This happend with me. next day I sent a text she replied but her reply wasnt same as before. i realized she isnt interested and i moved on.

andreecook · 2021-06-08T05:10:07+00:00

Why don’t you just re ask at the end of summer before she leaves to go back to school?

iAM_A_NiceGuy · 2021-06-08T05:13:19+00:00

My advice would be to stay chill, don’t talk about the date again. She might be going through something, just keep the talking limited, only professional. If you try to talk or interact more than usual with her, she will take it as a desperate attempt to re-setup the date. Happened to me, a girl I set up date with ended up cancelling at the last moment. Instead of being pissed off(which my younger self would have done) I told her “More pizza for me”. Week later she literally forced me to arrange the same date, her attraction only grew due to that incident. So just focus on yourself, stay fun, she will probably ask you out once she steers clear of her situation.

2021-06-08T05:28:18+00:00

the best way to get her attention is to remove yours, continue to be nice to her but be indifferent. I can imagine she got back with her ex or something else is going on. either way focus on your purpose and let the women chase you.

Nattalosa · 2021-06-08T06:34:31+00:00

I think you should have started dating her as friends, like for example: “hey did you watch this movie? People say it's nice, we should watch it together one day”, and test her reactions, propose the activity and wait to see constant signs of acceptance, women when we are interested in something, we always send signals :)

Critical-Peach-5644 · 2021-06-08T07:49:00+00:00

Good mentality bro, but I wouldn’t ask a date to confirm if it’s still on.

kronos55 · 2021-06-08T08:57:12+00:00

Her loss.

2021-06-08T10:56:58+00:00

I believe she likes you but cold feet. Maybe she wants to continue her employment after summer. Maybe she asked around and heard things about you. I was almost getting interested in a guy at work until I heard things about him that might not be true but that disgusted me. Most probable case is that a friend told her it’s a bad idea

Popular_Rush · 2021-06-08T11:03:16+00:00

Maybe she talked to her friends and they convinced her it was not a good idea? Or she thought it through

Warsh_rag · 2021-06-08T11:45:42+00:00

Well people make quick decisions all the time. She probably thought about it and decided it wasn’t the best move.

Jay-Ames · 2021-06-08T17:18:31+00:00

First of very good of you to say "That's cool" because it is cool.

Girl change their mind often. Doesn't mean she doesn't like you but that she is considering a 1000 things that have nothing to do with you. This could be what she is thinking:

- Oh my god, what a great guy

(one minute later) - But what if other girls like him too. Then he must have a girlfriend already. I don´t want to be a sidechick

(one minute later) - He probably has a lot of life and work experience. How interesting

(One minute later) - But what if he tells everybody at work. It could cost my reputation

(One minute later) - He seems way too nice to ever do that. It's gonna be a fun date.

(One minute later) - He looks like a guy that a friend of mine dated. And he had a los of girlfriends. I better not date him

I probably get a lot of downvotes for this but that usually happens when I tell uncomfortable bitter truth.

Anyway, Just stay cool.

Personally I try to plan the date not too much in advance so that they have no time to come up with all these reasons not to come. I am not sure if this works for everybody but it did work form me.

Dextorian · 2021-06-08T17:43:20+00:00

It could of been an emotional shift, she might of been in a great mood at the time you asked her but then the realisation hit. You did the right thing it didn't bother you her loss. Case closed and its onto the next.

mfposgbcs · 2021-06-09T09:09:45+00:00

If she really wanted to be with you, she would have gone out with you whether you're her co-worker or not. Maybe she has something going on in the background that you dont know about or something you said or did...

Title	I asked a girl out and she said yes, but she changed her mind.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	569
Comments	148
Date	June 7, 2021 7:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/nulfvy/i_asked_a_girl_out_and_she_said_yes_but_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-asked-a-girl-out-and-she-said-yes-but-she.1283015 https://theredarchive.com/post/1283015

Comments