This post is really about seddit’s mindsets and how they treat women looking for seduction advice. Before we get into that, lets cover why we tend not to listen to women giving advice:

Women Giving Advice

  • “Don’t ask a fish how to catch a fish”

This is often repeated, but we rarely examine why. There are 3 main causes: lack of introspection, not having experience performing the task, and most importantly, how we mentally model attractive behavior.

The vast majority of times, the question “What should a guy do to attract you?” makes women imagine an ideal guy they are already attracted to, instead of more accurately, a guy they are not yet attracted to. When the latter takes their advice, they consider him creepy, because he is behaving as if they are attracted to him, when they aren’t.

So in their mind, there is this attractive guy, and all he needs to do is “be himself” or “be funny” or “buy her flowers”, take care of her, do thoughtful things, etc… because these things are what girls want the already attractive guy in their lives to do for them.

Obviously, this is lacking all of the critical components of exactly how they decided the guys were attractive in the first place, which is a really hard question to answer for most women. (and as we'll see, men)

Giving Women Advice

Unfortunately, guys do the exact same thing. Whenever a woman comes onto seddit looking for advice, there are a ton of men shouting things like:

  • Just smile
  • Just be nice
  • Let him buy you a drink
  • Dress slutty
  • Tell him you swallow (really guys?)

Why does this happen? Because guys are imagining this hot girl that they are already attracted to, instead of a girl they are not yet attracted to. (sound familiar?) If you are not already into a girl, and she tries any of this stuff, it will not work great.

Much like women, men lack introspection into what actually attracts them, and want to believe they make the choice simply on appearance. “There are girls I’m into, and there are girls that I’m not, and I know the difference”.

This is simply not the case. Pre-selection and social value are still in play. Ever see a female singer, comedian, musician, etc who might not be your type on a night out, but when everyone in the crowd is throwing validation at her, suddenly you have the urge to talk to her?

Unhealthy Mindsets

Guys really buy into the “grass is always greener” mindset, and really want to assume that somewhere in the world, life is just easy. It is a seductive fantasy that there are groups of people whom life is just easy, it gives us hope, and it gives us things in our lives to blame. Sometimes its rich people, sometimes its guys with model bodies, and a lot of times it is women.

A lot of guys are bitter. They like to believe the fantasy that it is “so easy” for a woman, they want to whine how “hard” things are because they are male. To avoid cognitive dissonance, they need to point out how easy it is for girls when giving advice, how all they have to do is “smile”. And if that isn’t working, the girl must be ugly and just resign herself to being undesirable.

These are limiting beliefs that are stopping you from connecting with the women around you. When you cannot empathize with them, you are putting them on pedestals and putting up roadblocks to building rapport and comfort. This is basic inner-game stuff.

Seddit Policy

Moving forward, I’m looking to you guys, the community, to help police threads that involve women looking for help. Report posts! Correct people with comments! Link them here!

The moderators will be removing this unhelpful and hurtful advice with prejudice in the future, and I’m looking for the support of all seddit readers in helping to point out our own unhelpful mindsets and help keep seddit giving solid advice, to whomever is asking.