What are your favorite white lies you tell girls when you flirt with them?

abenton · 2011-05-30T15:06:57+00:00

...Why not just tell her it's Venus?

EDIT: I'm actually serious. I don't understand the whole concept. Can someone explain this, please?

am_i_punk_yet · 2011-05-30T16:13:07+00:00

San Diego means a 'Whale's vagina'. The other day I nicknamed a girl 'Queef' and convinced her that it meant 'cute' in dutch. (not in an English speaking country, obviously)

ATribeCalledGreg · 2011-05-30T14:49:51+00:00

If you really want a challenge, point at the moon and try to convince them it's the space station.

extrasuperpowr · 2011-05-30T17:45:10+00:00

I have told numerous girls I am a maritime lawyer. "Ya know, boat stuff."

Spurnout · 2011-05-30T16:25:15+00:00

In the future we're married and I came back in time to save your life!

KobeGriffin · 2011-05-30T17:42:10+00:00

Anytime a cool/sappy song comes on (I am thinking "Lucky Star" by Madonna for some reason), I tell them that I wrote this song for them. Always gets a healthy giggle and blush. Girls love the idea that I wrote a love song for them, even if I clearly didn't.

Tsunderella · 2011-05-30T14:53:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-05-30T15:10:09+00:00

No. Right now, Venus appears in the morning, and is too close to the sun to be visible.

AmazingSyco · 2011-05-30T15:17:43+00:00

"I'm great in bed."

Nailed it.

hopscotchking · 2011-05-30T15:41:50+00:00

I once told a woman I enjoy spending time with my family.

sutmy · 2011-05-30T15:44:20+00:00

that san diego means a whale's vagina.

JihadDerp · 2011-05-30T16:29:29+00:00

"I am not required to disclose anything about my criminal history according to megans law." they always think I'm hilarious. Idiots

AndreiAndTheOakTree · 2011-05-30T18:45:25+00:00

I just thought of doing this when trying to figure ways to kino escalate: pretend I know how to read palms. Hold the girls hand for awhile, draw little fake circles with my fingers all over it, say some vague things about her ambitions, etc. Then tell her I made it all up.

Create pretense for touching....yess.....I like this system. The ol' "Yeah, I'll teach you guitar."

glassuser · 2011-05-30T15:02:46+00:00

I can't pull that around here. I'm walking distance from Johnson Space Center. Half the girls around here know someone who knows someone who is on the space station.

FreakCERS · 2011-05-30T15:49:44+00:00

I once threw a layered cake 32+ meters - true story.

SGSmokey · 2011-05-30T16:10:10+00:00

That is not venus, brightest thing in the sky is Arcturus. Venus isn't even visible most of the time. You are just pointing out a random star, which should work just as well

flaffl · 2011-05-30T19:23:57+00:00

I'm the CEO of Google.

bigmike1020 · 2011-05-30T20:39:56+00:00

I once told a woman I coined the phrase "pardon my French."

theawesomeone · 2011-05-30T20:21:24+00:00

That the rag doesn't have chloroform in it.

DRUMSKIDOO · 2011-05-30T20:48:38+00:00

i have a 7 inch tongue and i can hold my breath for 5 minutes...

takatori · 2011-05-30T22:46:33+00:00

"No, I don't speak [your native language], go ahead and talk to your friends about me right in front of me. It will be your secret and in no way help me target my approach."

2011-05-30T23:52:59+00:00

"Me and my friends are out celebrating tonight because my HIV test came back negative!"

cata1yst · 2011-05-31T03:08:37+00:00

It's lame but every time a girl asks what I do, I say:

"When you're using a mechanical pencil and you need more lead, what do you do? You push down the eraser right? Well, when you do that it makes a clicking sound. It's my job to make sure that the clicking sound is not too loud."

I don't remember when I came up with it but it usually gets mad laughs. Yea I'm a dork.

TofuTofu · 2011-05-30T15:20:34+00:00

Hahaha, I just had an idea for a routine. It'll work even better with a wingman. Keep pointing our increasingly absurd lies like that and when the girl believes it you can tease her. "LOL you actually believed me?? Hahaha, that's awesome. You're adorable."

Can be great push/pull & C/F.

chosonhawk · 2011-05-30T16:28:35+00:00

Why not just be an interesting person and tell the truth? Just sayin.

captainmcr · 2011-05-30T18:23:20+00:00

What about the North Star?

BoOnDoXeY · 2011-05-30T22:02:25+00:00

I have an 11" penis....aroooouuund. Think about it ;-)

batshit_lazy · 2011-05-30T22:39:44+00:00

Often when I'm about to drop a DHV, and I feel it doesn't have enough kick to it, I will just lay it on thick and make it seem incredible, but still somewhat plausible and related to my real story (makes it easier to make shit up too). I'll drag her along for a bit, and as soon as she says the inevitable

Really? :O

or similar feedback to my story-telling, I'll go "No, not really. I'm actually going to <insert truth here>."

I have yet to see it fail. Always brings a smile to their face and gets them in a playful mood, and opens them up for a session of bullshitting/roleplaying.

Some good qualities in this:

Makes her smile / feel silly
Displays creativity, which translates directly into attraction
Increases the value of your small 'DHV-bomb'
Shows that you don't take yourself too seriously
Subcommunicates that you're not just trying to nail this girl, but you want to have some fun, and enjoy her company

iD0D0 · 2011-05-30T23:47:19+00:00

Hey babe. See that? You were born there.

Deaner3D · 2011-05-31T04:24:44+00:00

I have a job

daniel · 2011-05-30T15:45:07+00:00

When it's dark out, I'll grab the girl around the waist or shoulder

Uhhh I don't know about THAT Tactic.

s0n0fagun · 2011-05-30T19:44:37+00:00

I sometimes claim to be the guy behind all the Nigerian e-mail scams. I make the dubious promise to her that I can get her 5 drinks for $5.00 because I am actually that good at persuading the bartender into giving me 5 drinks. If she resists, I offer her to hold onto something just as valuable. Then if she actually gives me $5.00 to prove myself, I immediately go to the bar. Depending on how much of a dick I want to be I do one of the two: I buy one beer and ask for 5 glasses or I buy one beer for myself.

Ihsahn · 2011-05-30T16:23:38+00:00

"I'm not wearing any underwear"

Besides, I rarely wear pants. Always nails it. And by it, I mean her.

sockpuppets · 2011-05-30T16:45:23+00:00

That I'm a helicopter pilot.

2011-05-31T00:57:18+00:00

Technically not a lie, but it's still funny. I'm fairly young so girls usually ask:

Girl: "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Me: left hand in pocket ... "Nope."

2011-05-31T01:57:31+00:00

My first name is John, which means God's Gift (Seriously), then I tell them my middle name, it's a made up contraction of two of my uncles names, and tell them it's Russian for "unto, or among the women" It worked once, and once was enough apparently.

RicWooFlair · 2011-05-31T03:38:54+00:00

Tell them I'm a super hero who cleans up the streets of the town I live in. If she thinks I'm lying because I supposedly protect a city that has little to no crime, I tell her that means I'm doing my job properly.

KungeRutta · 2011-05-31T03:56:50+00:00

Wow, this brings back memories of Peter Gabriel.

adobeslabs · 2011-05-31T15:03:14+00:00

That I'm a marine biologist.

funkstar_deluxe · 2011-06-03T11:13:29+00:00

Actually, you're probably looking at Jupiter or Sirius when you see a bright thing in the sky in the middle of the night. Jupiter is probably the more prominent one, but isn't always visible (depends on it's position relative to Earth). Venus is only visible close to the horizon when it's just before sunrise or just after sunset.

You can see the space station intermittently; it is quite bright, and it's also moving, so if you can spot it she'd be a bit more impressed!

(Disclaimer: don't do this, most girls get bored when I start talking astronomy to them... sigh )

talonverdugo · 2011-06-04T09:02:29+00:00

That I'm full-time employed as a lighter-repair man. Bics, Zippos, IDGAF what brand it is, I'll fix the shit out of it. EDIT: I'm aware this is someone's method from some book, but I'm too (5) to remember.

KraftPUA · 2011-05-30T22:30:18+00:00

I tell girls I'm a med student, 100% of the time they become a lot more receptive to me.

_quickdrawmcgraw_ · 2011-05-31T00:39:31+00:00

I tell girls that I have a small tattoo of a fly on the tip of my dick and ask if they want to see it. Usually take them to a bathroom stall and unzip. When they see that I lied their reaction is usually "Well, we're already 90% of the way there" and blow me anyway.

infinityspiralsout · 2011-05-30T15:31:22+00:00

You'd only get the stupid ones with that.

/high five?

Title	What are your favorite white lies you tell girls when you flirt with them?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	100
Comments	145
Date	May 30, 2011 2:19 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hnhl5/what_are_your_favorite_white_lies_you_tell_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-are-your-favorite-white-lies-you-tell-girls.1318817 https://theredarchive.com/post/1318817

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