[xMODx] Seddit Simple Questions Thread 4/26/13 (please upvote - zero karma)

assport · 2013-04-27T03:01:07+00:00

I'm scared of building a sexual frame through speech in case I come across as "creepy" to the girl. I'm from the UK and "creepy" gets thrown around a lot and pretty much destroys you.
I fluff talk quite a lot (which I'm hoping to get past) and see cue's to build a sexual frame but just don't know how to. I haven't actually been called creepy, but I'm just scared I go into a conversation the wrong way. Any pointers?

natejac99 · 2013-04-27T01:14:31+00:00

I can never find a "good" time to ask a girl out. It seems like girls are always around other people and its tough to talk one on one. Whats a good way to get a girl alone without being weird about it?

IPlayUkulele · 2013-04-27T01:15:58+00:00

I'm going out tonight. I'm at approaching and talking to groups of people. I love doing push/pull stuff. However, even when I've established some good rapport, I'm not good at isolating. Any tips for me on just how to do it and what to expect if it goes well and/or poorly?

CaptainCarlson · 2013-04-27T01:20:54+00:00

Looking for some input: How long did you practice pick up before it became fun for you? (Or have you always enjoyed it?)

My biggest sticking point has been motivating myself to open sets. I force myself to do at least one or two a day. I have definitely lowered my AA since starting but I still dread opening my daily set.

Avacell · 2013-04-27T01:25:25+00:00

Ok. So there's this girl that I had my eye on for the past week at my school. But the thing is she's always with her friend EVERYWHERE just this same girl. My friend has offered to help be my wingman. But we have no idea how to approach both of the girls and engage them in great conversation. And if all goes well. How exactly would I be able to get her to separate from her friend. And we could some separate time with each other and I can then go from and get her number?

Thanks for reading and responding if you/can.

benmarvin · 2013-04-27T01:12:08+00:00

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John619 · 2013-04-27T01:27:28+00:00

So first off, I'm 18 years old and I met this girl a couple months ago, we'll call her Amy. I kino'd when we hung out and I ended up being her first kiss. Since then, I've escalated and we went farther. Obviously she's attracted to me and she's told me that she's into me, but I'm a bit confused. I would like a relationship with her since we went on a couple of dates and they went well, but her friend tells me that she's holding back her feelings. Where do I go from here?

Pugilanthropist · 2013-04-27T03:21:39+00:00

Blanket answer to many questions ITT.

I see a lot of people are asking about how to get a specific girl to like you here.

Now, I'm no expert, but here's what I've come to learn from my many, many failures in the field: you're doing it wrong and you will most likely not get that particular girl to like you if you focus on her. Sure, by statistics alone, maybe one or two of you will, but the vast will just be left wondering "what went wrong?"

Abundance mentality.

Outcome independence.

Make those your watchwords.

You want to get that one girl? Game ten others. And then don't care whether she shows interest in you or not. Make yourself the prize. Make her demonstrate her value to you, make her chase you.

Now get out there and have some fun tonight.

benmarvin · 2013-04-27T02:03:04+00:00

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bojangles135 · 2013-04-27T02:16:47+00:00

Background on me: 19 years old, never had a girlfriend, my job prevents me from meeting new people that could possibly open up a new relationship with a girl. I'm looking for ways to meet people around seattle. Any advice?

Pugilanthropist · 2013-04-27T03:42:23+00:00

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drifting_ · 2013-04-27T03:53:24+00:00

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nittutt · 2013-04-27T11:17:35+00:00

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DemonZtarz · 2013-04-27T14:01:54+00:00

She's said I'm being mean. What should I do? Should I say sorry? It's really bothering me because it feels too unnatural

randomusername4505 · 2013-04-27T03:35:54+00:00

Any tips for dating a girl with a kid? Pulled a girl home from the bar one night but no sex. We've been texting trying to setup a day 2 but that fact she has a child is making this difficult

the_brick_attack · 2013-04-27T03:42:37+00:00

How do I help a friend who sucks at conversation? Every time I go out with him, he freezes up horribly after introduction. He doesn't seem to know how to keep a conversation going.

throwaway_pete · 2013-04-27T05:59:02+00:00

I have been reading about the pickup community and self development for a while now. While I certainly have improves, I am worried about one aspect. Every time I hug or touch a girl I like or is interested in me I get slightly aroused, to more. The thing is it doesn't happen with my everyday girl friends. I could grind with them and nothing would happen, its just those I like. The problem with this is it makes me not want to escalate and use kino. I have done this when I have been drinking (I'm a college freshman) and I haven't had this problem happen to me. This isn't really relevant because I have got much better at talking to girl, even gone on a few dates, and the problem is I am scared to escalate at the price of my embarrassment. Any tips on stopping this as I'm scared to do so, which is limiting my progress altogether. Something that may help is I've only hooked up with one girl sober (she was aggressive, and I didn't do anything as I was unaware at the time, this was around 8 months ago). I've hooked up with over 15 girls at parties this year, and brought a few back for sex.

thatswhatshesedit · 2013-04-27T08:17:03+00:00

Can we get an approach lines thread going?

Self-Improvement_Acc · 2013-04-27T09:20:06+00:00

I'm a guy that's a chubby around the hips/thighs. How do I get good fitting pants?

ChocolateMeoww · 2013-04-27T13:26:34+00:00

I'm a little late to the game, but I have an honest question:

How do you tell if a girl is interested in you? Like legitimately interested? I struggle so hard with this. If I feel that she may be interested, I always discount myself and just tell myself that she's just being nice, or something similar. I've read plenty of things that tell you what to look for, but I can never see that actually happening. If I catch girls looking at me, I try the yawning trick, but that never works, which just fuels my thoughts that she was eyeing up the person next to me instead.

More importantly, what clues should I look for in terms of what the girl says to me when I'm talking to her? (Both when we're in a group of people, and when we are just talking to each other)

EDIT: I also turned 21 today (yay, happy birthday to me), and I plan on going to the bars tonight with my roommates. I have no idea what to expect. I'm told that I'm decently looking, have amazing eyes, but I apparently look like I'm nice, etc. Should I use that to my advantage, or would that count against me regardless? I have very little experience in actually talking to girls. My one long-term relationship was with the crazy girl who absolutely has to be in a relationship, so she always goes for the first guy that talks to her, regardless of what warning signs appear.

throwaway8413 · 2013-04-28T03:29:12+00:00

How do I balance "momentum" and "oneitis"? I hit up a girl I'm talking to to hang out on Tuesday, she texted me to chill on Wednesday, then I initiated us hanging out on Friday, when we finally hooked up. Anyways, I want to keep up the "momentum" of us hanging out without overpursuing her. Is there a general time frame of how long I should wait to hit her up if she doesn't hit me up first? I anticipate her initiating contact soon but if she doesn't, for example would waiting a week to text her be taking a step backwards in escalation? But a couple days too soon? Or does it not really matter anyways.

JihadDerp · 2013-04-27T13:02:05+00:00

Mystery says "Attraction + Comfort = Sex"

I'm a good looking guy. I'm funny and fairly confident although I do have moments where I lack confidence that I'm sure are noticeable. I know girls feel comfortable around me by the end of the first date, definitely during the second, and double definitely on the third. I've gone on a ton of first, second, and third dates, but for some reason I can't seem to f-close as consistently as I think I should be.

What gives?

Of course you need more detail. I'm talking 99% about girls I meet online (pof and okc). Plenty of first dates end with a kiss but then there is no second date because she or I wasn't feeling it -- not worried about those. But when girls want a second and third, it's an obvious green light to get things going. Sometimes it works out -- when it does, usually the girl invites me over. But there are a lot of other girls who send mixed signals or don't green light it enough for me to make a move. I don't know if I'm not making my sexual interest overt enough, or if I'm not escalating enough, or not doing enough kino, or what.

I just went on a second date with a girl. Everything went great the first date and second. After the night was over, I drove her to her apt. But instead of saying, "You can park over there," she had me pull into the horse shoe entry way where there is no parking, just drop offs. Then we started kissing, but every five seconds she would pull away and make a joke or pull away and say I was "so aggressive." I said, "Is aggressive a bad thing?" to which she said no. So I went back at it, but she kept pulling away and making comments. So finally I said, "Do you want to kiss me good night or sit in the car and not make out some more?" And then she said, "Well when you put it that way..." and kissed me on the cheek and left. Obviously that question wasn't going to get me laid, but she wasn't inviting me up already and she was sending weird mixed signals, and I was getting bored/frustrated.

Now I don't know what to text her or even if I should. During the second date we talked about sex plenty. We had our hands all over each other. I just don't get it.

Help.

2013-04-27T02:26:07+00:00

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the_brick_attack · 2013-04-27T02:32:11+00:00

1) Girl who I'm pretty sure friend-zoned me will text for me to hang out or whatever else after a few days of no contact with her. Ignore or what?

2) As I'm actually seeing results from doing this more, and what not, how do you juggle multiple women? I've never had that wonderful problem before now.

ImSpidermen · 2013-04-27T03:36:08+00:00

I asked a girl out on a date to go see a movie. Her answer was "...I'll get back to you on that!" She's flaked on me before, but it wasn't really for a date, it was just to go jogging. She's been flirty with me before, but this was before I found seddit so I fear I'm probably friend zoned by now. Do you think it's likely that she will go? What else could I do between now and next friday to help my chances?

jzboston8 · 2013-04-27T04:02:57+00:00

So earlier this year, this chick hb8 and I were getting along just fine. We worked together, firstly, and we would hang out after work most of the times we worked together. We chatted, smoked, got along really well with each other, ended up making out with her once, but that's it. This was all from Jan-March. BUT, when we first started talking (late December), I had her at my house for New Year's, but I was too anxious and nervous to try anything at the time. Last time we talked we were at a party, she got a bit too drunk, vomited, and left to go hook up with another guy. I could tell she was still into me at the party. But she did this and we stopped talking completely after that. So now it's almost May, and I haven't talked to her at all since then.

I was into her quite a bit, and I felt the same vibe coming from her. Seddit, is there any way that I can still win her back? I know most of you will say to drop her and move on, but I don't want to. It's not the oneitis, I'm not 'in love' with her at all, I just feel like I let this one slip and that there IS still a chance. Don't get me wrong, I am still interested in her quite a bit, but I am able to go out and talk with others as if this never happened. Thanks in advance to those who replies

spivey378 · 2013-04-27T04:57:14+00:00

Do you change your aggressiveness with a girl who seems innocent? My problem is too many girls seem innocent and I don't push hard enough.

I also have pushed too hard in the past and dont want to be creepy.

thesupreme333 · 2013-04-27T05:38:39+00:00

I'm currently very broke. My power can be shut off at any moment type of broke; I had 23 cents to my name last week. I don't have much trouble meeting girls, I just feel ashamed inviting them anywhere. If I invite them to my place because I can't afford many fun activities. Being able to provide say an 8th of weed to smoke or some beers is a luxury. Those things would help me so much in providing a better atmosphere.

Essentially, I want something more than turning on the TV or some music for entertainment. I want the girls to have fun and enjoy coming over, but it's hard when going out to buy a 24 pack of soda for them to drink makes me feel guilty. Hell, I just recently got a couch and kitchen table, courtesy of my mom. Sure they're used but I ain't complaining.

So my question is, how can I provide more fun for the others around me, while saving as much money as possible. Or another question, after the bars close, what is something I could suggest to move the afterparty to my house?

4umlurker · 2013-04-27T05:42:49+00:00

There is a girl I am interested in asking out. She was in one of my classes but exams just ended and the semester is over. I am not likely to see her for another 3 months if at all. I have her number because we worked together on projects but I am not sure if it is okay to use her number to ask her out since it was to stay connected while writing papers. Is it okay to do? Also, if it is, how should I do it?

mydailydos3 · 2013-04-27T06:00:26+00:00

Hey guys quick question, I have no problem breaking the ice with women but my problem is directly after that. I dont know how to continue the conversation or atleast keep her attention,it always seems to go stale!!

obster12 · 2013-04-27T06:49:36+00:00

Good first texts?

dtrickz · 2013-04-27T07:29:36+00:00

Just how important are looks? (This is directed towards women)

-taco · 2013-04-27T07:52:43+00:00

Is it okay to approach deaf or blind girls normally, or do they require a different approach?

-taco · 2013-04-27T07:55:43+00:00

How should a feminine male approach a masculine female?

izodioz · 2013-04-27T16:50:06+00:00

I sometimes fall into a situation where i do not know what to talk about with a woman. Any great conversation topics? Also, what are some good emotional connection topics

snurrefel · 2013-04-27T20:16:03+00:00

I'm doing a 12-week training program at the moment, so no alcohol for me. And my problem is that I'm having an hard time staying awake when I'm out sober. Any tips?

Rayz0r98 · 2013-04-27T21:30:46+00:00

How to get closer to girls you already know in school?

gijsr · 2013-04-27T23:07:57+00:00

I am usually very confident when talking it up with girls but when I get to the point where I need to go for the kiss/make a move, I chicken out due to lack of confidence in my kissing skills. It's been about a year since I last kissed a girl, any suggestions?

Sedditor91 · 2013-04-28T00:50:32+00:00

I recently met this girl at a concert and after much grinding and making out, I got her number. 2 days later we hung out and ended up making out on the grass for 2 hours. Due to extreme college work and terrible weather, we weren't able to hang out again until after 3 days. I met up with her yesterday and we hung out for awhile outside playing some games. Was very playful and got some keno in, then afterwards we went to her room. That's when we just...talked...and that's it. I tried to initiate but was having a hell of a time finding/creating a moment, which was odd since I am typically good at it.. In the end I said goodbye and headed back to my place. Later that night I talked to her about what was going on and she said that we weren't on the same "level" then pretty much said goodbye for good. Does anyone know what this means?

sothisishow123 · 2013-04-28T08:19:13+00:00

I'm falling for my friend of two years. Problem is, because of our friendship, she see's me in a not very sexual perspective (sex, or even kissing). Any tips or seductive approaches that can I go about?

Braedenn · 2013-04-28T09:26:27+00:00

How do I build up enough confidence to approach?

I see a hot girl and I just can't do it.

ChocolateMeoww · 2013-04-27T02:21:38+00:00

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Title	[xMODx] Seddit Simple Questions Thread 4/26/13 (please upvote - zero karma)
Author	SedditModTeam
Upvotes	326
Comments	159
Date	April 27, 2013 1:03 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1d6w3d/xmodx_seddit_simple_questions_thread_42613_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/xmodx-seddit-simple-questions-thread-42613-please.1351401 https://theredarchive.com/post/1351401

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