[xMODx] Seddit Simple Questions Thread 6/10/13 (please upvote - zero karma)

answermepleasemister · 2013-06-10T22:37:50+00:00

I still find it awkward to just initiate conversation with random people, especially attractive ladies. I have been taking steps to make myself feel more comfortable with myself so i don't seem awkward, and the practice has definitely helped. But if I have some sort of "in" with a person, i can carry on a good conversation and people generally enjoy my company. However like i said, it just doesn't feel natural for me to just go up to someone and start talking, and I don't want to use cheesy pickup lines or anything. I just want to be myself, but I'm not naturally outgoing. Any advice?

johnny-faux · 2013-06-10T22:46:28+00:00

so, a girl i work with stood me up, but when next day at work she acts like everything is fine. Its not like im being afc around her, she's practically eating out of my hands whenever im at work with her. Always smiling whenever i talk to her, staring at me when she thinks i dont notice, and laughing at all my stupid jokes. So how do i state that i won't tolerate being flaked on without sounding like a needy bitch??

nesvarbu · 2013-06-10T22:28:03+00:00

Is it going to be weird if I start doing kino with girls I already know ?

Doppleganger07 · 2013-06-10T22:49:34+00:00

What are some ways to develop a social circle in a 100% new setting? It seems weird to just walk up to people and try to start friendships. The only hobbies I really have are weightlifting, reading, and cooking.

Also, I am looking for some "high quality" friends. They don't have to be super good looking amazing and rich, but I would rather find some friends that have some things going on with themselves. Are there any techniques for doing this? Any time I see people advising that you should have a social circle, their methods always seem to amount to "go get a social circle."

Thanks seddit

buschleague55 · 2013-06-10T21:50:41+00:00

Do the fundamentals of seduction change after I've had a girlfriend for a few months? I feel myself reverting back to an AFC.

ConstipatedPanda · 2013-06-10T23:33:40+00:00

When sitting at a square table is it better to sit opposite for eye contact or diagonal for kino?

InState · 2013-06-11T00:36:50+00:00

Inner game question: I'm a lot more comfortable approaching and opening random people when I'm alone or with people I don't know well. Also, I'm much more likely to approach people in strange/novel settings though I will almost never approach someone in my hometown or a bar I frequent with friends. I vaguely reason that it's because I'm worried about my 'reputation.' Any idea what might really be going on? I'm missing out on a lot of opportunities because of this behavior/mindset/whatever.

whats_the_deal22 · 2013-06-10T23:42:40+00:00

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dubeskin · 2013-06-10T21:49:04+00:00

I'm meeting up with an old friend this evening, and we've both demonstrated interest in each other in the past but nothing ever happened, mostly because I was a giant bitch. Since finding Seddit a few years ago, I've made big changes and completely changed as a person; I'm confident I can F-close if I play my cards right tonight, and this is probably the last chance I'll ever see her. However, it's finals week. She agreed to get a few drinks, but "only for an hour, deal?" How do I progress past the hour, and at what point do I need to throw in the towel?

What I'm thinking is a venue change at ~40 minute mark, then from there push to coming back to my place for a last drink (around the corner). However, how do I counter any resistance - just let it go?

Thanks for any advice. My biggest sticking point has always been overcoming limits a girl sets (LMR, time, etc.).

puaCurveBall · 2013-06-10T22:19:14+00:00

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puaCurveBall · 2013-06-10T22:44:20+00:00

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chanyourmind · 2013-06-11T00:11:16+00:00

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chanyourmind · 2013-06-11T03:37:59+00:00

Every time I get rejected (very, very often) I get incredibly depressed, as I feel like it's one more reference experience that I'm inherently inferior to other men my age. I know I'm supposed to assume an abundance mindset, but I cannot do it when I clearly do not have abundance and have been shot down time after time after time for over a year. Any advice, as this has been causing me to go down a very dark path lately?

RiskySC · 2013-06-10T23:30:53+00:00

Really into this girl that i work with , and i know for a fact that she is also into me, but i dont know what i should do. Do i try and hangout with her outside of work to try and get to know her better. or should i just ask her on a date? Also since I'm not old enough to drink i am not sure where a good date spot would be.

zirdante · 2013-06-11T01:09:38+00:00

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Irish_machiavelli · 2013-06-11T05:47:37+00:00

I am hoping this one doesn't get buried, as it has been on my mind lately.

Why can't I bang a girl I like?

So, I have a fairly robust sex life, but I feel as though I have to find something unattractive about the chick before I am able to not gives fucks, which is central to my game.

I've got a g/f (we're open) who I adore. However, other than her, and also previous to her, this has been the iron law of my sex life: Find chick who I consider girlfriend material = failure. Find chick who I either do not respect, or like = high rates of success.

Thoughts?

puaCurveBall · 2013-06-10T22:57:50+00:00

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puaCurveBall · 2013-06-10T23:11:53+00:00

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Wky · 2013-06-10T23:28:35+00:00

I got a hb8 number a few days ago. The only problem is that she lives far away (she was in town). Is it even worth it having her number?

chanyourmind · 2013-06-11T00:13:14+00:00

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InState · 2013-06-11T00:20:58+00:00

I posted this in TofuTofu's AMA a few days ago, but i wanted other peoples opinion.

I am an 18 year old who recently got over my approach anxiety and approached a girl a year younger and asked her out for coffee. She said yes and I # closed her. The date was set up a week from that day, and I did not text her at all other than to make sure the date was still on. So on Thursday, we went out to get coffee and I would say the date went pretty well. Sadly there was no kino escalation and the date ended with me asking if she wanted to go out again. She replied saying "sure". I thought it was a good idea to message her on facebook later in the night (my phone is broken) saying "I had a good time today, let me know when your free next week so we can go out again." Where I'm confused is why is she ignoring me? It's been three days now and no reply. Did I come off as needy/desperate by messaging her too soon?

Also, how do I kino during a coffee date if we're both sitting down?

EDIT: I did not know the girl prior to asking her out

ARealSocialIdiot · 2013-06-11T02:14:24+00:00

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throwawayyourbutts · 2013-06-11T03:29:54+00:00

Alright...not sure if this is the perfect place for this but fuck it. I could use some advice on a sticky situation I've got myself into. I've got this crush on my roommate. Just for clarification I'm man and she is...well...a she. Long history of being friends. She had a boyfriend for a long time that she broke it off with a few months ago, I know her well enough to say she's over it. Recently we've been spending much more time together than usual and my feels have taken a turn past friendship. I'll spare details but we've done a list of things that would in any other situation be dates that I think y'all would approve of. She hasn't said anything, neither have I. There's kino, there's IOI, there's sexual conversation and flirting, there's been a few somewhat drunken nights I damn near just laid one on her to see what happens. I guess I'm looking for some cues to look for that say, I'm open to this. Maybe someone has been in a similar spot. I don't know, this sounds dumb writing it but hell, this is a throw away.

adiyo011 · 2013-06-11T03:54:38+00:00

What's everyone's flake rate after number closing like? I find it fairly easy to number close but getting replies out and setting up dates is difficult.

I've been trying to set up dates ahead of time in my first approach but not much success has yielded from that.

I think I need to polarize them more and make a harder first impression. It's possible that I'm simply not giving myself enough time to work out a good first impression.

These days due to my schedule, I've only had time to meet girls on buses or at the bus stops themselves. Gives me about 5 mins tops to make an impression.

Advice?

spivey378 · 2013-06-11T04:51:20+00:00

If you meet a girl at a bar/party, do you stay around her at all times or do you mingle? Do you set her up for a date and get her number right away and leave it at that or do you try for a same night lay?

I'm a social butterfly so I've left many girls and have came back and the dynamic has changed and she's getting hit on someone else or try to text her for a day 2 to no avail.

chanyourmind · 2013-06-11T04:58:49+00:00

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Rodburgundy · 2013-06-11T05:51:03+00:00

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_MissingNo_ · 2013-06-11T06:22:48+00:00

How to establish a sexual frame with someone fast

Zenthor · 2013-06-11T07:36:58+00:00

So I'm starting to get better at approaching people and holding a conversation, but I'm having trouble taking it from there. Especially if I start dancing with a girl--there have been a handful of times now where I start dancing and the woman starts grinding on me, and I get immediately self conscious, chicken out, and fail to escalate it from there. Even without dancing, if a girl is showing interest and we're being affectionate and all touchy, I seem to have trouble working up the nerve to escalate.

I've read up on the escalation ladder and some techniques to do it, but the problem is with my inner game and working up the nerve to do it. Any advice? (It's a vague, hard-to-give-a-specific-answer-to question, I know).

SingAlong_Original · 2013-06-11T16:27:49+00:00

I don't think enough emphasis is placed on seduction from the female mindset.

Girls WANT to be seduced and girls LOVE sex.

This is a primary motivator for me and don't see it talked about much here. Anybody else feel the same way?

leafs22 · 2013-06-11T00:18:59+00:00

Picked up a girl the other day, got her to come out to see me play music with my band. She's now talking to my lead singer on facebook and setting up dates with him.

fuck my life.

MusikLehrer · 2013-06-11T18:20:29+00:00

How does one effectively compensate for being very, very ugly?

chanyourmind · 2013-06-10T22:02:24+00:00

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sakeuon · 2013-06-10T23:03:42+00:00

I don't drink alcohol. What do I drink at bars? If someone asks for a suggestion for a drink, what should I suggest?

puaCurveBall · 2013-06-10T23:09:37+00:00

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charm3 · 2013-06-10T23:36:35+00:00

What is the single most important thing you can do in set to ensure ( or atleast get the highest possibility) that she comes out for day 2? If it is any help I am referring to bar game.

gadelat · 2013-06-10T23:45:20+00:00

Recommended facial expression when picking up girl is in seddit's opinion face like you are fucking her. Well, I can imagine various facial expressions for this situation, can you provide some picture so we know which one it is?

CoolLordL21 · 2013-06-10T23:55:42+00:00

Can someone give a few examples of talking in non sequitors?

TGODoftype1diabetes · 2013-06-11T01:11:30+00:00

I'm a college kid, the girl i'm into is also in college but lives out of state. Realistically, I might see her once maybe twice over the summer. I'd say my text game is tight, and I just got her number. But what else can I really do with her over the summer? maybe video chat? idk that just seems lame. (Also, I'm not limiting any options should something arise in the summer if its more convenient for me)

zirdante · 2013-06-11T01:21:05+00:00

Im bad with striking up convos. A girl in my class i like, i always try to look for ways to talk to her (i.e get up to throw something out and attempt to start a convo on my way back) but i usually end up not doing it. What kind of things do you say to see if shes interested/trying to flirt? Also how do i approach a random girl ive seen in my school glancing at me?

puaCurveBall · 2013-06-11T01:31:17+00:00

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imsoclose · 2013-06-11T03:29:33+00:00

What are good questions to ask a girl after the approach. Im a shitty talker in general even with guys and not good with words and even simple questions I sound stupid

chanyourmind · 2013-06-11T03:30:08+00:00

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_MissingNo_ · 2013-06-11T03:35:23+00:00

I've been friend-zoned by this girl for four years. Had I known about seddit through any of it, I probably would have moved on because she wouldn't have been worth my time considering how much shit and pain I went through. I could have had so many other great relationships. HOWEVER, seddit has helped me improve so much that I actually am breaking out of the friendzone now. We haven't done anything yet, but it's clear that something could. Here's the catch, she's going to college in August and I'm leaving the country for the summer. Neither of us would do long term because it's just illogical. Should I make a move on her when I see her tomorrow? It would be a little surprising because we're both so resolved to just being friends. Or at this point, should I just save my friendship and not push it? I think even just kissing her impulsively could fuck me up in the head and could potentially ruin our friendship even if she likes it.

Just_Throwing · 2013-06-11T03:46:12+00:00

Don't know if I can ask that here.

Shave?

Trim?

Balls or no balls,

basically, how do you do it?

chanyourmind · 2013-06-11T04:01:16+00:00

There's a girl who seems to be into me, but never seems to text me first. We've been out on a date, and she's come over before. She seems to be into me, but I keep having to initiate. Is this normal, and do girls usually just not like to initiate? Or am I right in expecting to not have to do it all the time?

M1k3tehrippa · 2013-06-11T04:07:32+00:00

How do i honestly take things from casual coffee and nights of drinking to actually making a move. I live in a small ass town and we've gone out for coffee and met up at the bar and I honestly don't know what kind of dates or whatever to get things rolling. Just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago and don't know what to do in a town with nothing to do!

Travis_The_Cow · 2013-06-11T04:37:18+00:00

How to initiate kino..? Like how do you go from flirting to touching to kissing?

h-wal · 2013-06-11T05:59:03+00:00

Whats a HB in relation to numbers

ARealSocialIdiot · 2013-06-11T06:36:26+00:00

How to continue conversation. I'm not socially awkward or anything, but I don't know what to say when talking to a random person I meet. I'm fine around friends, but my mind goes blank around random girls. How can I change this?

jswk · 2013-06-11T06:54:41+00:00

How do I secure "friends who will stick around when shit goes down" type of friendships? All I seem to make are partying friends.

69steelers · 2013-06-11T08:43:26+00:00

What's the best way to approach girls on the beach?

VMikeL · 2013-06-11T10:51:05+00:00

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VMikeL · 2013-06-11T10:54:42+00:00

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Penguin154 · 2013-06-11T14:24:30+00:00

Something I've recently learned is that going out on a regular basis is REALLY expensive. What are some of the things you guys do to save money while still going out and having fun?

kryptonyk · 2013-06-11T14:55:25+00:00

Hey Seddit! I've been wanting to ask this for a while. When I'm out at the bar scene there are usually lots of guys/girls together and so on. How can I tell which girl in a group is single and which isn't? Or should I just approach the one I find attractive and not worry about that part until it comes up?

rikjames90 · 2013-06-11T16:03:34+00:00

So im working an internship for the summer and i sit in this corner cubical

Of all people here, the fucking cleaning lady is hottest. Shes like 22, platinum blonde, absolutely stunning. Im just having trouble working out how to start talking to her

I sit with my back to the isle so i often wont see her come in, i gotta turn around to talk to her when she is momentarily near my cubical.

I had no trashcan so i just used that as an excuse to talk initially and get her name. After this i cant figure out what to do. She comes, sh grabs the trash, she leaves, i get like a 10 second window a day.

Nobody in the office talks to her so theres no group dynamic, i gotta just do it on my own.

Im thinking next time she comes ima turn around and say "yo ___ distract me for a second, this works boring".

Just seems weak though, so help?

SkepMod · 2013-06-11T16:19:34+00:00

Seduction in a Relationship: For those in long-term relationships and marriages, but enthusiastic about the self-improving, life-improving tips in Seddit - what elements work well? How do you use them?

garglearse · 2013-06-11T18:16:38+00:00

What is a good way of chatting up a girl on Facebook to get her number? Unless the seduction gods align everything correctly, I probably won't see her in person. So, what are some good Facebook tips so as not to come off creepy or anything?

shmadman · 2013-06-11T18:21:17+00:00

I feel attracted by girls that are I'm not so attracted to.

Meaning, if I think there is something wrong with a girl, and she is in my league, I want to ask her out. However, in the long run, this way of thinking will screw up my happiness.

Note: I'm looking for a good LTR.

Howe do I get over this?

fmarti09 · 2013-06-11T18:42:47+00:00

Idk if this thread is still active, but I figure it won't hurt to ask. I meet this girl about a month ago, got her number, we both had an apparent mutual attraction to each other. She lives about an hour away from me and between my work and summer class schedule I can go out to see her to often. I text her and she texts me randomly, but I feel like our text conversations are dull and not interesting, so I am worried about lossing her interest. I guess I need help with text game. Any help? Thanks

SingAlong_Original · 2013-06-11T18:52:22+00:00

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SingAlong_Original · 2013-06-11T19:41:32+00:00

Fun ways to ask for a girl's number?

SingAlong_Original · 2013-06-12T17:58:28+00:00

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SingAlong_Original · 2013-06-12T19:10:17+00:00

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Katerius · 2013-06-12T22:48:41+00:00

What to do when someone attacks your image?

badillin · 2013-06-14T19:25:35+00:00

Ok, context... broke up with my GF (now Ex) after a 3+ years relationship, after being just semi depressed for almost 4 months i finally went out to look for girls with a friend.

Arriving at the bar i immediately started scanning the area and saw a group of girls in a table close to mine, and in that group was a girl with glasses that i knew, was going to be the girl i would be looking at the whole night (i tend to do that, see a girl i really really like and focus like a damn hawk)... and sure enough i did oogle her all night long... making eye contact a few times and HOLDING IT, but always lacking the balls to come over...

Then a friend of hers comes to me and asks me for a cigarrette (an opening!!!)... i obviously give her one in "exchange" of her cute friend with glasses name... i get the name, and started chatting with her, until the cute girl with glasses came back to the table.

As soon as she arrives everybody in her table starts picking up their stuff (leaving)... and to make this a short story, i quickly introduce myself and tell her i would have "kicked myself if i didnt came over and talk to her" but now is to late to get to know her... as she was leaving, i ask for her number and take out my phone, she takes my phone and enters her phone number (hopefully)

And then she and her friends left, i probably talked to her 2-3 minutes or even less, all of her friends where already leaving and she told me to call her today... but im stuck and dont know where to go from here :/ (also 50% chance i forgot her name, she only said it once and i was kinda drunk)

TL;DR: Met a cute girl in a hurry for a few minutes, got her phone number but i know NOTHING about her, maybe not even her name.

What would be the correct approach to this situation?

wowimclueless · 2013-06-11T03:28:12+00:00

I just turned 19 yesterday. How can i lose my virginity this year?

DannyKidd · 2013-06-10T21:39:11+00:00

I wish I had some problems now that I could ask questions about but I don't as I haven't talked to any girls in about 8 weeks or been out to the clubs :( this is actually pretty good not getting hung up on anything :)

Askquestionsbro · 2013-06-10T21:22:30+00:00

The one time I catch this thread when it's new is the one time I don't have any questions....

iguessimnic · 2013-06-11T09:40:33+00:00

Alright fine here goes.

Pulled a girls number, got one-itis hard. She's definitely worth it. Manage to sleep with this girl, sex is amazing, connection amazing, all systems are go at this point.

Found out over dinner that I slept with her sister once, a long time ago. Girl says that its too much for her to handle. She basically peaces, leaving me holding the bag, but then invites me to come down to the bar she's at.

I go, proceed to babysit her drunk ass all night which is okay, I don't mind keeping her company. I walk her home safe, make everything good, she kisses me many times, gropey, all that great stuff. Now she's on vacation in mexico for 3 weeks.

Whats my play here? When she comes back I want to make this work, but I just don't know how to go about it. There's nothing I can say that will undo sleeping with her sister years ago. Being drunk doesn't make her do anything, it just lets her so I know theres still feelings there, so there's some hope.

Any advice? I want to pursue this.

gorillamunchies · 2013-06-11T01:26:37+00:00

Whats a good way to talk to someone you like in school or elude to saying..."your hot cute etc.." Without actually saying it and coming off as creepy?

_MissingNo_ · 2013-06-11T05:08:48+00:00

Note to mods: This thread fails. No one is answering questions.

Title	[xMODx] Seddit Simple Questions Thread 6/10/13 (please upvote - zero karma)
Author	SedditModTeam
Upvotes	424
Comments	375
Date	June 10, 2013 9:05 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1g2knd/xmodx_seddit_simple_questions_thread_61013_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/xmodx-seddit-simple-questions-thread-61013-please.1353616 https://theredarchive.com/post/1353616

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