If women really wanted financial equality then why won't they marry someone who makes less than they do? They blame it on men's insecurity but men have to earn more to be loved, pay for dates, and to just be seen as a man.

springy · 2024-03-04T18:06:14+00:00

A good friend of mine is a senior manager at a software company in NY. He earns a great salary, and has to work long hours. He told me that his wife nags him about it, pointing out that a friend's husband works on Wall Street and earns loads more than he does, and so that family can afford all the things they cannot. Yet at other times, she nags him that another friend's husband , who works in some regular job, is home by 4pm every day so that he can spend time with his family. She doesn't seem to care that they are two separate guys, and that there is a trade off between hours and income. A lot of women seem to think that men can earn big money, and work short hours.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2024-03-04T18:02:41+00:00

Many women either don't understand how attraction is triggered in themselves, or they're dishonest about it. Edit: or another posibility is simply that unattractive men are invisible to them so all the advice they give is with men they're attracted to in mind (but then this gets back to them not understanding it).

Research has found that the part of the brain responsible for sexual attraction develops during puberty and then becomes non-plastic, meaning it can't learn anything new. So once a person is through that, you can't change it. I've tried to find any research on how much of it is genetic and how much is environment (e.g culture), but haven't' found anything.

Naughty-Spearfish · 2024-03-04T17:52:21+00:00

My ex made me lose my career, 2 jobs and got in debt with a CC which I had to refound because she did it behind my back whilst she was studying.

She got a very good job due to my efforts and loyalty, then started cheating and left me for a guy 20 years older than her, he has a house and is a self employed taxi. We have a 5 years old.

Its even worse than that, when I met her she was an unqualified waitress earning £730 a month... Today she is an Second of direction thanks to my hard work supporting us 3 whilst she could study.

You will give them the opportunity to grow just so the next guy can profit of it.

springy · 2024-03-04T18:12:07+00:00

Feminism is about women's right, never about their responsibilities, and the reverse for men. That is, they go on about men "living up to their responsibilities", and they call anybody mentioning men's rights "incels".

AtikGuide · 2024-03-04T18:30:25+00:00

They want equality, but only when it’s convenient, and traditional roles when those are advantageous. It’s about having her cake and eating it, too ! It’s a dealbreaker of a double standard.

2024-03-04T18:45:38+00:00

Because women only want the gender roles that benefit them.

KingShaka1987 · 2024-03-04T19:08:12+00:00

Their inner hypergamy would never allow it.

Extreme_Spread9636 · 2024-03-04T19:25:09+00:00

It's because feminism's one big flaw. Not everyone can be a winner.

They tried to replace woman's looks and traditional tasks with a woman's income.
They started defining a man's income as "bare minimum". She earns good, so you should too.

The higher a woman goes in relative qualities (looks, income, personality, etc.), the higher a man also needs to go, but there is one big problem in that entire logic. It doesn't take into account what men value in women. If every woman wants a winner, all women also need to become winners. That's simply not the case. Why? because in their own competition in finding a man, looks seem to be prioritized over income.

You can see these sorts of flaws in the way feminism seems to draw their view on equality. It's always drawn from a woman's perspective, but never from a man. What a woman finds attractive doesn't mean that a man also has to find that exact attribute attractive. We would have reached equality many years ago.

Lumpy-Mammoth-3115 · 2024-03-04T18:56:00+00:00

Women say what is socially acceptable even if it’s a blatant lie

Successful_Video_970 · 2024-03-04T19:29:46+00:00

It’s so true. My ex wife had all of those expectations. She never worked a day. I built our home while working. I was the one to play with our kids while she watched desperate housewives catchups. It was all of her friends in the area that used to bag out their husbands and we were all the bread winners. We also did a lot of the housework. Gardening, maintenance on house, bins, washing, washing up, floors etc. She got everything and also 3 years later after separation. A domestic violence thankyou lie that has still not stopped. Got my kids back but it’s just unbelievable. Woman are not like men. A lot nastier and the double standards

LowLifeExperience · 2024-03-04T19:32:09+00:00

The way our society works makes it a choice for women to work, but that same choice is not offered to a man. That inherently makes being a man significantly harder. The discrepancy is even greater when looks are factored in.

TheObelisk · 2024-03-04T22:49:15+00:00

Women: There's a pay gap and that needs to end.

Also Women: I literally wont date a guy unless there's a pay gap.

AbysmalDescent · 2024-03-05T02:00:10+00:00

Most people live in a society that thoroughly fails to hold women accountable for their complicity in that society. This is why you have concepts like patriarchy and toxic masculinity come about from feminists that not only live in this idea that women have no power but fully embrace this one-sided approach into cause and effect. The only thing that people look at is what women want and what women feel entitled to because they are women, and then never really look any deeper. And you will find this pattern consistent across every aspect of feminism, and society as a whole.

So, yes, most of the feminist and conservative narratives around gender pay gaps and dating are both just insane. Women want to make more money for less work, so they call men misogynists and demand laws to be changed so that they get preferential treatment; then women make more money and take more jobs(which could have gone to men), while still expecting men to pay for everything and make more money than them in order to even be recognized as basic human beings, let alone viable sexual partners; then men work harder and longer hours than women, in order to afford being able to date and be recognized as men, which ends up leading men to make more money than women. It's circular reasoning, in which the only winners are women, who can pick and choose whatever aspect of gender equality they want, and the only losers are men, who are getting burned on either end.

Illustrious_Bus9486 · 2024-03-04T19:00:04+00:00

Because 2.5 million years of hominid evolution has made women hypergamous.

2024-03-04T20:46:25+00:00

Women's vanity > Men's security

IMO if a woman has this mindset, she is to be avoided.

The kind of women you're talking about don't want equality. They want CEO perks without having to do any physical work and the only reason they're able to this is because our society has become so rich and decadent (because of men) that luxury can be bought with ones and zeros and not does built in the traditional sense. If we still had to hunt for food it wouldn't make a shit how much money you had or how good your hairline was. She would go for the one that could provide.

Eventually there's going to be an entire generation of middle aged childless single women who bought into this narcissistic feminist BS and no one to help them because they missed their opportunity to find the median.

2024-03-04T22:47:04+00:00

Women's sexual/partner selection and professional equality between the sexes are hopelessly irreconcilable goals. To want both is extreme cognitive dissonance.

Jaded_Permit_7209 · 2024-03-05T02:51:50+00:00

Reminds me of a conversation with an ex I had.

Her: I have a feeling you're going to be rich in the future.

Me: Uh ... I don't have any plans to do something that'll make me rich?

Her: That's going to be a problem.

Me: Well how much money do you want me to earn a year?

Her: $200,000 should be enough.

The most hilarious thing? Her yearly salary was $20,000. Working part-time.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah that didn't really go anywhere.

AmuseDeath · 2024-03-05T03:23:32+00:00

Demand higher wages, sure. Paying half of everything? Nope. Having your cake and eating it too. ✅

UWontHearMeAnyway · 2024-03-05T03:52:02+00:00

progressive

There's your problem. They're indoctrinated into the rhetoric and propaganda. It's checkmate for men to play the game, by modern standards. They're just too indoctrinated to see it.

1antinomy · 2024-03-05T14:36:18+00:00

It’s not in their nature to do that

There’s a reason why it’s projected that 45% of women will be single & childless by 2030

Women don’t wanna dare their equals— they want someone doing better

Even when they have the means to support themselves, a man should still do it for her

It makes no sense that they fought for equal (or more) pay, just to turn around & eliminate the men on their level

rabel111 · 2024-03-04T20:27:27+00:00

Much of the insecurity men experience when their female partners earn more, is related to the comments and abuse from their female partners. These women consciously or unconsciously enforce strict male gender roles, and show less respect towards their male partners, when those men earn less money or hold lower positions.

So its not men's fraile egos. Its their insight into their partners attitudes.

eldred2 · 2024-03-04T19:43:04+00:00

It's projection. It is because of insecurity. It's just the women who are insecure, not the men.

MrSaturn33 · 2024-03-04T20:10:05+00:00

I had so many progressive female friends say a man isn't a man if he doesn't provide, hide his emotions, and take care of a girl. Gender stereotypes live on because women haven't changed and their selection of a mate reenforces the stereotypes places on females.

Yes they don't actually want to overcome gender stereotypes.

For example: for years, when I was younger I still thought the stated goals and premises of trans rights activists were correct at face-value, simply because (as is still the case just as much now, of course) I disliked conservatives or anyone bigoted to trans people, and wanted trans people to be accepted in society in the face of historic oppression and discrimination. (obviously, this is the only decent correct stance to hold; the issue was I thought all progressives sincerely out of principle were fighting for this, just because they said they were. Now I don't believe this to be the case.) But they blatantly insist on stereotypical gender roles to an extent that's actually comical, if not for the fact that they actually don't seem to realize the obvious contradiction because the only way they could be consistent in advocating for trans people is to want to actually overcome gender stereotypes, as opposed to just saying they do but then proceeding to insist on them as much as anyone.

volleyballbeach · 2024-03-05T05:12:07+00:00

The women who actually want equality are ok with marrying a man who makes less than them

FoxxiMoxxi420 · 2024-04-28T04:25:53+00:00

Yeah, I never earned alot, because money to me was just a means to do the shit I wanted, and since I was living nomadically I really just didn't care to make more than was absolutely necessary. I could(can) make shelter, can start fire without matches or a lighter or anything, just using two sticks and shredded dry kindling, albeit It takes me forever, but I can. Point is I have real skills, I know how to fish and I have experience foraging.

Anyway. I'm not insecure. I just don't really give to much of a fuck about today's society, and the way it treats people who don't want to play their game.

Every girl I had, everything would be great and trust They knew what I was about lol. But still even tho I was able to take them on awesome adventures, I wasn't able to support their materialistic desires. I show lobe through doing things together, real life experiences. Again I have always been able to make enough to support myself,

Now maybe not all women are like this. But no one talks about the pressures put on men in today's world. And I hate to say it, and yeah I'm sure it time we got our fair share of hate, but like being a poor white dude sucks. Everyone fucking hates you. I'm not saying my experience is worse then those of non European countries/decent. But like everyone hates me.

winstoncadbury · 2024-03-04T20:56:16+00:00

I'm the breadwinner in my family, and my husband has never made as much as me. We're a team, and he does a lot of stuff for our family. I don't think the women hold universal views on this - it's not my view, and none of my female friends think this way.

I think your friends just kind of have a shitty and outdated viewpoint on this. People move through the world in different ways, and money is far from the most important thing in life.

PUMA-420 · 2024-03-04T21:23:51+00:00

I'm not even gonna argue anymore. People will find the most ridiculous reasons to justify whatever a woman does.

retropillow · 2024-03-04T22:39:55+00:00

I think you just need new friends, bro.

Ninjurk · 2024-03-05T05:36:01+00:00

It's honestly in most of their natures along with some cultural learnings. There's a huge equity issue right now when we have all these non-traditional women demanding to be non-traditional while demanding traditional men.

I think the men who fall for these women are far more of a problem for the rest of us than the women who demand whatever they demand.

2024-03-05T08:38:09+00:00

I remember chatting to my friend's (Bob) Italian GF when we were just out of uni. She said "Bob shouldn't be a teacher". I asked why not. She said "men shouldnt be teachers". I asked why (thinking she had some bizarre theory about education). She said "because they don't earn enough to provide".

Bob has spent the last 15yrs working as a teacher in the middle east to provide sufficiently for his Italian wife who lives in Italy.

Elterchet · 2024-03-05T09:33:38+00:00

Less that them? You kidding? They have problem even when spuse earn same amount as them.

Derpalator · 2024-03-05T10:54:36+00:00

I initially misread the thread as why don't women who want financial SECURITY (not equality). It made more sense that way.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2024-03-05T11:32:06+00:00

I can understand the money aspect in case it's an individual with a fixed and set goal on a particular expensive lifestyle like, she's making good money, but the income needs to be double or higher to reach those goals. This person would naturally want to pool economies together with someone who share the precise same goals.

Essentially, this is placing money above things like love and personal compatibility, but I don't particularly judge men and women who think this way. At least it makes sense.

However, I don't think it's very often this self aware and logical. The majority of women who on the one hand want to see themselves as self made, independent and successful, but on the other hand wants men's provision are either huge hypocrites or just beasts of a lot of unexamined emotion.

People who are like that are embarrassing, and bad news if you choose to get involved, so don't!

2024-03-05T23:13:19+00:00

Because feminism was never about equality. It was about facilitating their ability to spend their prime years to sharing top 5% of men amongst themselves.

SympatheticListener · 2024-03-04T18:46:44+00:00

A very good point. The killer is those women who marry men with lower income charge the difference to other men in the form of taxes to pay gor child care, food stamps, etc...

Fishdude94 · 2024-03-04T18:21:02+00:00

The ones who want their future man to be at least 6ft and make 80k are typically the gold diggers. Good diggers aren't typically feminists. They're just dumbasses who were raised by dumbasses.

bigcucumbers · 2024-03-04T22:44:59+00:00

You're taking some pretty big assumptions there my man. Remember, all generalizations are false, even this one. There are shitty people everywhere. Shitty women disregard men who make less than them. Shitty men feel insecure about women who make more than them. Shit goes both ways. My wife is the primary bread winner. Does that bother either of us? No, because we are happy with the careers we chose and happy with each other.

Maybe you just need to find some better friends because I can promise you, the shit they're saying isnt the norm.

porkcutletbowl · 2024-03-05T18:34:18+00:00

I'm a woman. I'm shocked to hear that there are women out there that still think like this. Which country are you from?

I'm from the UK and the women I associate with don't think like this. I am so happy when my partner shares his emotions and feelings with me, and I have a lot of respect for male homemakers. I wouldn't mind if my partner decided he wanted to be a homemaker! (he's better at chores than me)

For context, I'm a woman in my early 20s and work as an engineer.

Jake0024 · 2024-03-04T19:14:44+00:00

This seems pretty obvious tbh. The premise of your question is about women seeking financial equality--so we're on the same page they do not currently have that.

So if the average woman has 90% the finances of the average man (specific numbers don't matter), then obviously women would on average end up with men who earn slightly more money.

If women earned more on average and still wanted to date men with even higher incomes, then that would be unsustainable.

I do not see how dating a man who makes less would further the goal of financial equality. An average woman (earning 90% of the male average) dating a man earning less (say 80% of the male average) just means they're both making below average income. Why would anyone intentionally seek that out?

ATLKing24 · 2024-03-05T14:06:20+00:00

My fiancee and I are both feminists. I'm unemployed and she makes 6 figures. She's happily marrying me and I'm happily a househusband taking care of our cat and dog.

Just meet better women, I guess?

Top_Recognition_1775 · 2024-03-04T19:01:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

NameIs-Already-Taken · 2024-03-04T21:45:53+00:00

I think you just summarised this sub.

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