Askwomen sub "why a second date?"

warm_theory · 2019-06-21T09:44:53+00:00

Those responses reinforce the fact that attraction is not something that logical and that's why a lot guys struggle when they're overly fixated on learning game theory and technique.

Also, I'd like to point out that there are way too many men out there getting obsessed with getting away from that "nice guy" concept. What they don't realize is that good manners, empathy and an overall positive mindset don't make you a "nice guy". Being needy and a pushover does. As a result you got insecure confused men trying to over-compensate by turning into douchebags, putting down women and becoming self-obsessed. The only type of women you'll get by becoming an asshole are the emotionally damaged and if you're really putting on act then even those will see right through the bullshit.

Anyway, seduction is a mixture of building comfort and tension while understanding both the logical and the emotional state of a woman at the time and therefore calibrating accordingly. In my opinion calibration is key in all kinds of social interactions, if you really get to understand how to work your way around it then half of the work is done. Don't waste your time obsessing with technique, be present and cultivate observation and intuition.

Airporthoboxd · 2019-06-21T13:33:15+00:00

That's because attraction is all subconscious. Even if a date goes bad and the girl rejects you/flakes, if you were to call her up and ask her what went wrong? They never know. They'll just say that so.ething just felt weird or off but they can never pinpoint exactly what it was you did wrong.

Luffydude · 2019-06-21T12:36:38+00:00

You don't go to women for dating advice for a reason

ajswdf · 2019-06-21T18:16:03+00:00

This is why they say not to get dating advice from women. It's not that they're evil or stupid or anything, just that female attraction is much more complicated than it is for men and women have no real reason to try and understand what they do and don't find attractive.

For most women, it really comes down to "I liked him because I liked him". So how are they supposed to give you advice when women don't like you?

stevenmarkryan · 2019-06-21T18:28:46+00:00

Truth, most women do not KNOW what attracts them to a guy, they just know how they FEEL about him. This is what counts.

Some women who are super self aware can articulate what attracts them to a guy, but this is pretty rare. Usually you'll get attempted answers which might sound reasonable, but are not true.

Don't listen to what women say, watch what they DO. You will learn far more by watching what women respond to, than what they think they want.

Nergaal · 2019-06-21T14:37:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mookyvon · 2019-06-21T15:58:58+00:00

Too many autist guys asking for women’s advice on how to date women. It’s fucking stupid considering women don’t date women.

skatinislife446 · 2019-06-21T17:20:05+00:00

Haha, I was going to cross over the same post to this sub after I read it! I think there actually are some nuggets of wisdom which correlate with the seduction theory here:

Attention-almost all the women said the guy was attentive to them, listened, asking questions, kept the conversation flowing smoothly.
Sexual attention-They also said that it didn't seem like the guy was only interested in seducing them to use as a warm hole for the night, but actually wanted to get to know them. They didn't want to just bed any girl, they wanted to bed the individual woman in front of them.

And that's taught in game. Keep the conversation light, flirty, and emotionally engaging. A downside to that post is that a lot of the women said, "and we're still together!" or "and now he's my husband." These women seem like they were ready to settle into a LTR, so I definitely take their responses with a grain of salt. The women that admitted, "it was the sex" are who a lot of us are looking for as we practice seducing.

cornylamygilbert · 2019-06-25T02:34:52+00:00

The issues are these:

Are women on reddit, especially the askwomen sub, the caliber of women you want to date?

This colors every answer you will read on that sub.

Is this woman in her 20s? 30s?
is she in any way attractive to you irl?
is she an alpha widow?
is she a book worm introvert?
is she fit? Active?
is she used to getting male attention?

The amount of questions that arise from every individual answer on that post, and that sub in general, are concerning.

It’s very hard to tell if an answer came from a dime piece or a nice, socially inexperienced land animal.

What women would be worth listening to in this respect?

Probably slutty party girls who are also good wing women. Those are few and far between. And even then, you’re asking her to recall an historical emotion she had where she was in the mood and completely down for the guy?

That’s like studying every way a dice could land imo. It’s also low ROI, fallible, fantasy, and essentially asking prey how they would best be hunted.

I do like perusing that sub on occasion, but you gotta be seriously socially aware of who’s commenting.

TheLoveGuardian · 2019-06-21T16:19:13+00:00

Friendly = boring.

This is what they actually mean

Captain_w00t · 2019-06-21T10:46:42+00:00

Even if you can't link it (I suppose it should be enough to paste the URL, btw), can you please paste the exact title of that thread, please?

Kakkamaki · 2019-06-21T09:43:49+00:00

They like the way he looks so they go on a first date with him. If he doesn't act autistic on the date, he gets another one. That's pretty much all there is to the dating "game".

WhatMixedFeelings · 2019-06-21T18:38:06+00:00

Women have no idea what they want. Give them the tingles, they’ll be down for a second date.

hazelstein · 2019-06-21T10:47:56+00:00

Simple, They don't know any decision they make, it just happens for them.

account_for_rel · 2019-06-21T17:32:15+00:00

I loved that post. Very insightful.

Title	Askwomen sub "why a second date?"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	120
Comments	82
Date	June 21, 2019 9:14 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/c38d7b/askwomen_sub_why_a_second_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/askwomen-sub-why-a-second-date.1471892 https://theredarchive.com/post/1471892

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