Do you feel like couples who need to say "they're happy" on social media rather are the opposite, and aren't actually in fact happy and how fake in general social media is, especially nowadays?

throwaway234974 · 2024-04-20T06:59:57+00:00

Beautiful things do not beg to be seen.

keepturning1 · 2024-04-20T07:22:03+00:00

The last couple of years I’ve had a fair few times where I’ve seen female friends of mine posting happy families with their boyfriend/husband then I randomly see them within some months single on bumble after their breakup/divorce. What you see on social media doesn’t really give any real indication of what’s going on with a couple.

NJFlowerchild · 2024-04-20T08:10:22+00:00

It's so interesting, have you ever had the need to tell people on your socials you're "so happy" specifically because you're now in a relationship? What do you guys think of this subject?

My social media where I share things is all family and friends l have known for years. Why wouldn't I want to share my happiness with them?

bloblikeseacreature · 2024-04-20T09:34:21+00:00

You can't know either way.

I am a very private person and don't like social media a lot. But now that I have a happy relationship, I do sort of want to tell the world. I think about it all the time, and want to brag to everyone, so it makes sense that I'd be tempted to post about it too.

For platforms like fb and instagram, with my widest circle of friends, family and acquaintances, I feel almost obligated to post about the happiness. They've heard me complain so much and seen me go through bad times, it's good to let them know that things are better now so they know they don't need to worry or feel bad for me.

MistyMaisel · 2024-04-20T12:42:50+00:00

I think something being bragging is often something being perceived by an audience that is jealous too is a problem here.

Like, my boyfriend and I are obnoxiously happy together and everyone who knows us personally knows it. Sure, we have our hurdles here and there, but overwhelmingly, we're happy as a pig in mud together and very excited about our lives. And, both of us like making cool little videos, documenting, and sharing some of it on social media.

We don't share all the stuff we take by a mile, but enough that someone from the outside with the right motives could think quite negatively, "they aren't that happy or they wouldn't have to share it" but we are, we're just also people who like sharing.

Many of the couples I know fit this paradigm of just enjoying sharing and they're happy couples.

Now, do I think social media can also be used for underhanded jabs, sure. Sometimes two things can be true. You can be happy and fucking over an ex or seeking validation from others. Doesn't mean the relationship isn't happy, just means you've got some scores to settle or deeper insecurity about your choices.

But finally, oh sure there's absolutely trainwreck couples I know constantly pretending to be in love on social media. They aren't as often new couples, I feel like. But couples that are in the falling apart process and usually one of them is trying to force a certain image of romance that is often ironically symbolic of why they don't work together.

Planthoe30 · 2024-04-20T05:58:42+00:00

I rarely post on social media that isn’t Reddit. I do think there is some degree of truth to people who brag on social media not being happy though this would be hard to measure. Those who are truly happy are actually living our lives not filming our lives or documenting it for validation.

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2024-04-20T05:51:21+00:00

Unfortunately you can't know, even if it makes you think there's some kind of karmic justice in the world, the truth is that there's not.

People you hate or resent are as likely to be far happier than you can ever hope to be as they are to be at the bottom, homeless, addicted, and abandoned by their loved ones.

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noafrochamplusamurai · 2024-04-20T06:31:43+00:00

Happy people brag less than unhappy people complain. If you have a competent partner, the things they do become standard procedure. So for you, that's just the way things are. You aren't going to brag because your expectation is that they will the things that they always have.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-04-20T07:11:24+00:00

If you have to say it publicly or out loud who you trying to prove it to?

TransLifelineCali · 2024-04-20T10:06:41+00:00

other people's lives are nothing to worry about, unless you want to feel miserable.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-04-20T07:48:33+00:00

While it can be fake, when you're happy, do you feel like telling absolutely nobody about it and hiding your happiness? If you're so happy, you're usually excited to share it with the world! A new relationship is so exciting and you want everyone to be excited with you!

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-04-20T07:14:31+00:00

The posts of peoples personal lives tend to be over the top and the extreme of them. Nobody needs to post that their happy because it would be obvious on the person.

This sounds exactly like bait, like the people that post their going to unalive themselves, it’s just attention seeking.

neverendingplush · 2024-04-20T06:22:49+00:00

I use social media to.share my thoughts about things I have on my mind or meme. I have no desire to project to the world that I'm happy as that does nothing for me and I don't need other people to give me a digital thumbs up to feel good. As for positing their new partners constantly, yeah it's annoying , but to each their own. I've never posted any of my partners as it just seems weird to.

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-04-20T07:13:39+00:00

People have always been like that even before social media, they just found other ways to get the same result.

thetruthishere_ · 2024-04-20T10:23:57+00:00

Ive read articles about and its said happy people tend to post less.

Fakebook, the home of curates lives.... LOL

I only have a couple business Instagrams so I dont deal with any of this baloney.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-04-20T10:31:53+00:00

100%

If it’s the guy, he’s cooked.

Haunting-Run-5346 · 2024-04-20T10:55:26+00:00

no dont have social media. the only good thing about it is the enormous amounts of data

anna_alabama · 2024-04-20T11:27:02+00:00

I’m super into social media, and it’s my career, so I post a lot. My husband ends up being in the majority of my posts because we’re together the majority of the time. We’re truly happy and thriving, so the posts aren’t fake. If someone looks at my insta and needs to tell themselves it’s fake so they feel better I’m okay with that, but it doesn’t make it true. Is there some truth to it for some couples? Sure. But it’s not a blanket statement.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-04-20T12:30:44+00:00

I had a friend who's wife used to post like this, about how they were happy all of the damn time and everything was sunshine and rainbows. They only made it about 6 months into Covid and got divorced lol

Hatefuleight-36 · 2024-04-20T12:46:26+00:00

“Do you feel like humans need water to stay alive?”

Dense-Tell-6147 · 2024-04-20T12:49:21+00:00

“Any man who must say, ‘I am the king’ is no true king”

Same as those who post inspirational stuff like “I’m stronger, nothing can bring me down”, in the hope of convincing other people when in reality it’s themselves they have to convince. In vulgar and shallow cultures like the US, there is another factor to consider though (that we often see here in this sub as well): when someone has it good for themselves (or is able to pretend) they have the uncontrollable urge to shout it from the rooftops, pettily hoping to make other people jealous.

Hot_Bird_5433 · 2024-04-20T12:55:54+00:00

No one on social media is happy.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2024-04-20T13:16:07+00:00

depends on their personality honestly

Prudent-Conflict-557 · 2024-04-20T13:19:59+00:00

I actually believe.. it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to sit around wondering if people are liars lol. Makes no difference to me.

Bikerbats · 2024-04-20T16:38:54+00:00

You're half right. The problem is that there is no way to tell who is really as happy as their posts show apart from those who aren't happy at all but just faking it. It's rather preposterous to imagine everyone is faking it.

DannyBOI_LE · 2024-04-20T17:07:43+00:00

nothing online is real, one must assume

daddysgotanew · 2024-04-20T17:40:24+00:00

Social media is garbage. Me and my current girlfriend don’t post anything on there. If you saw me and her in public, you’d never guess that we both are working on masters degrees and make just short of 200 grand a year. She’ll wear sweatpants with her hair in a bun and I’ll wear a sweatshirt and vans, spitting Skoal on the ground as I walk. People probably think we’re white trash but we’re on our way to winning. She’s 27 and I’m 32.

Couldn’t give a fuck less what image I “project”

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2024-04-21T06:35:41+00:00

I do think NRE is awesome and I do think new couples are legit happy. But not real life happy - NRE happy. I think that wears off and you go from NRE to the honeymoon phase to comfort and security. So I do think they’re all hyped up on dopamine and oxytocin and all the love chemicals and are actually happy, yes.

Who I don’t think are happy are the married couples always posting. Those people who feel the need to constantly validate their relationships once the oxytocin has worn off - those are the unhappiest people. They’re so knee deep in the shit that they need the validation of people on the internet and the beautiful post and the sappy paragraph.

I have never posted my fiancé on the internet despite us both having them. I was surprised when he made it “Facebook official” when we got engaged. It was very sweet though. But aside from that - nada. And it’s an amazing relationship. It isn’t the stuff of romance novels and romantic comedies - but it’s healthy and it’s happy and it’s amazing. We have so much love and joy and passion. And I wish everyone had the relationship I have. That isn’t to say there is never any issues and I don’t ever get annoyed or he doesn’t ever want some time with the boys. But it’s always loving. No screaming. No name calling. No abuse or adultery or resentment or anger. The occasional hurt feeling, sure. But never malicious.

If you looked at my Facebook or insta tho - you wouldn’t even know I was engaged. His name is under “in a relationship with” and nothing else. My friend who is in an awful marriage tends to post sappy love stories three times a week. And I know, I have seen her relationship up close and personal. It’s bad. I mean… bad. Like. Borderline abuse.

So I think in the beginning you’re sort of sharing that high of NRE and staking your claim, marking your territory a bit - especially if you’re young. So they might be genuinely happy. But it’s temporary. It may progress into an amazing relationship or it may turn ugly. But for now, they’re happy.

Meanwhile the people in LTR who constantly post, I think need to post when they’re happy, every time they’re happy. They have to justify the relationship to themselves or something.

HappyCat79 · 2024-04-21T13:48:46+00:00

I don’t know. I rarely post on FB or Instagram, but I did post yesterday for the first time in months about how happy I am in my relationship, and I truly am very happy.

flipsidetroll · 2024-04-20T06:27:30+00:00

lol. Like men who need to constantly tell the world how successful they are and how many women they bang? Or men who clearly wear wigs and swear it’s their own hair or use beards to hide a very weak chin? Oh yes. Pretty much any time you have to explain something that should be obvious, on social media, you’re probably lying.

RubyDiscus · 2024-04-20T09:55:51+00:00

Posting photos on social media is just sad, period lol

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