How would you summarise the new social contract for average men to follow, for average dating success?

EulenWatcher · 2024-06-16T20:44:53+00:00

It's got complicated, because we don't really have one set of rules anymore. Women want to have a partner, a friend and a lover, all in one person. The details depend on a woman. Some are more into traditional roles, some expect egalitarian relationships, the majority seeks a mix of both. It isn't always a bad deal, but some do want the best of the both world for themselves without reciprocating the efforts. but the same can be said about some men as well.

Traits that are generally popular: attractive, confident, pleasant to be around, can flirt, good at bed, has something going for him (i.e. is studying or has a good job).

Slayberham_Sphincton · 2024-06-16T20:43:46+00:00

I've been teasing around this idea. Yes, women have more access to men and money. The other talking points still stand in all the facets of the game that get discussed. The thing I was talking about is Late Stage Capitalism. Opportunity is shrinking, and only the best can compete. Giving those that are more intelligent and/or attractive even more of an edge to rise to the top and secure the highest percentile of income brackets. And if they aren't perusing a traditional career, many are using those looks to capitalize on content creation or side businesses where their face and halo effect translates into whatever they're selling. Be it genuine goods, services, art, and products. Or just straight scammy shit.

The bar has been raised across the board on what it takes to lead a fulfilling life (low stress from lack of financial insecurity, traveling, hobbies, freedom in the future from work). Girls aren't choosing mediocrity anymore, because mediocrity can't afford the same as it did in the past. Even being a teenager has different rules of engagement now. Sports can still pull girls, but building a following and clout is the new mating strategy even at those ages. Streamers, influencers, content creators, ect, ect.

Coomer-Business · 2024-06-16T20:42:26+00:00

Rule n. 1: be attractive

Rule n. 2: don't be unattractive

If you can follow those there is no need of social contracts or whatever

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-06-16T20:46:12+00:00

Well look at that. You can’t bribe women with your earnings, house and ability to open a joint bank account. You might actually have to be an attractive, outgoing and fun guy who is also good in bed.

2024-06-17T01:03:33+00:00

Hope you win the looks and rich parents lottery or life will be shit.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-06-17T04:41:19+00:00

"Nuclear family" with one breadwinner, suburbian house and a car was an anomaly that only existed in US for a short time after WW2. It never was a norm.

hopfield · 2024-06-16T22:24:09+00:00

Be attractive

That’s it. Money doesn’t matter anymore.

Dense-Tell-6147 · 2024-06-16T22:28:36+00:00

Assuming you are looking for an LTR with a functional adult

Have your house in order: be fully self sufficient and don’t expect others to be a full time emotional support
Be interesting to be around: it doesn’t mean you have to share interests 100% but if there is no conversation topic whatsoever it gets tough
Have social proof: sure, there are “sigma males”, but not everyone fits the bill of the fascinating lone wolf. Among more conventional people, being a loner is seen with suspicion
It’s a mutual, continuous choice between peers: she will be with you because she WANTS, not because she NEEDS to. This means that she has to be attracted. Without that you might become her best male friend but if she is not attracted and you try to win her over with simping disguised as friendship you are up for a tough awakening. But also, if she’s attracted but you are dependent, sloppy or incompetent, she’ll get bored soon. The choice is continuous: there is no thing like “securing” a relationship
Heroes wear no cape: don’t fool yourself with romcom bs. Do your chores and keep your act clean. As several pissed ladies (who apparently spent their lives with Neanderthals or members of the Golden Horde) here remind ad nauseam, she has to be your lover, not your mum
Be a good lover: it’s easier for women to get sex, it’s easier for men to get pleasure. Put her centerstage, listen to her, read the room, find the right pace, do as much foreplay as needed. And ffs forget what you saw in porn

LevelCaterpillar1830 · 2024-06-16T21:08:57+00:00

Interact with many kinds of different people (including people you are not too comfortable with) to get a subconscious taste of how to react in various social situations.
Get used to women's company by interacting with them platonically in organic environments (in bars, clubs, organized events, volunteering etc). This structures your criteria for them, as you understand what kind of behaviours you like, don't like, tolerate, can't tolerate etc.
Always be aware of what it is that you want from people, instead of what it is you should be wanting from them. Be in touch with yourself and your desires, and act accordingly. Lying to others is fine, reasonably and if done with a purpose, but lying to yourself is a different manner, and will only sabotage you.

And always remember this simple correlation:

If they like you for mostly superficial criteria, it's likely they'll leave you in the future for someone with better superficial criteria than yours. There is always a bigger fish. Always

Allow your [future] partner to prove that they take your identity and personality into account, as that is a much more complex and tough to beat criteria for others. Vet people, spend time before jumping into anything, treat them like someone interviewing for a position at a firm just as much as they are treating you the same.

Remember that people's looks can literally morph before your eyes as you get to know them personally, if there is a match. Even if you, as a person, may think that you are superficial, it is very likely not the case. If you haven't experienced seeing someone ugly's face shapeshift in front of your eyes as you see how magnetic their personality is, then you won't know what I'm talking about. It's fine. It can still happen, with enough exposure and time given to go through different people.

Also, keep your ears open. I repeat.

Keep your ears open

Listen. Don't just wait for your turn. Absorb the information and speech directed at you. Allow yourself to experience it, and gauge it by whatever metrics you have. Listen.

"I wanna say something smart oh my god I can't wait for them to stop talking and let them know how philosophical and intelligent I am"

Shut. The. Fuck. Up. And. Listen.

This is the core of all emotional intelligence. Attentive quietness. That's it. Just listen, and experience the conversation. More often than not, it will completely alter what you were going to say. And it's very attractive, so I suggest working on this trait too.

Other than that... smell nice and react well to rejection. It isn't personal. They just don't fuck with you like that. Rise up and shine, new day and other horizons ahead.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-06-16T21:24:41+00:00

Make enough money to go to south east asia

Now with women largely earning their own money and not dependent on men for resources

Btw this is factually wrong, woman still depends on men for resources, the government just act like middleman.

wonka___vision · 2024-06-16T21:12:10+00:00

new social contract for average men to follow

Never approach. Don't initiate any interactions.

If they wanted to talk, they would.

relish5k · 2024-06-16T22:41:44+00:00

honestly i think two specific policy initiatives could help here:

free matchmaking services. not OLD with an actual person meeting and pre vetting candidates.
national compulsory services for young people. all people ages 18-20 spend 2 years in service with other young people in small, diverse cohorts (think ~30 people)

SaBahRub · 2024-06-16T20:45:36+00:00

Choose alpha or beta, same as it’s been for decades

DoubleFistBishh · 2024-06-16T20:40:32+00:00

Just be at least somewhat attractive and don't make my life more difficult.

jhunter2015 · 2024-06-17T11:48:56+00:00

Try to make at least 2x the average female median salary
Have a group of friends
Don’t be too clingy

WhaleBiologistCILISI · 2024-06-17T23:24:57+00:00

Dont look for commitment, it's the losers game.

ilikecats18851 · 2024-06-20T05:40:27+00:00

Be a male feminist, be fit, have money, be stereotypically masculine but don't have any expectations. Just be a fucking nice person you chud, but also don't expect anything to change if you do this, because then you were just in it for the sex, unlike mr chad, who is fuxking girls out of the goodness of his heart. If you get rejected it is always your fault. Also, never give up and keep grinding.

McPigg · 2024-07-17T19:11:23+00:00

Look your best, be cool, dont be needy, put yourself out there.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-06-16T21:27:22+00:00

Pulls something approximating the weight his partner does. Accepts that immediate success isn't guaranteed for everyone who does that, male or female.

alwaysright12 · 2024-06-16T21:41:34+00:00

Don't be a dick

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2024-06-17T02:34:58+00:00

If you're an average dude, all you need to do is lift and be chill.

Grenadier23 · 2024-06-18T23:30:05+00:00

-Be under 25 -Make over 100k per year. -Look like you go to the gym -Be tall

That's what it takes for women to like you.

How would you summarise the new social contract for average men to follow, for average dating success?

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Title	How would you summarise the new social contract for average men to follow, for average dating success?
Author	BushidoX0
Upvotes	4
Comments	88
Date	June 16, 2024 8:30 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dhgkap/how_would_you_summarise_the_new_social_contract/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-would-you-summarise-the-new-social-contract.1521726 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521726