What causes girls to not want romantic ties and "just stay friends"?

chill_geek_boy · 2024-08-27T11:45:11+00:00

Bro it could be literally anything. She might be unavailable, not wanting. It could be totally unrelated to you or be totally on you. Maybe you don't give them the relationship material and they see you as a flink. You have to ask this to them and nope, they would just flat out tell you the truth if you ask properly. Just that their reasons might be all over the place.

KarmicPlaneswalker · 2024-08-27T13:16:45+00:00

I'm too soft physically, maybe I should be more dominant.

You've already found the issue. Your energy and personality don't match the expectations they have for you.

You're too gentle. You don't make them feel secure, only safe. Whatever masculine vibes these women get from you at an initial glance/first-impression, are quickly evaporated once you get physical or have a drawn out conversation and they discover the personality behind your face.

Once they realize you're not the caveman who will throw them over your shoulder and have your way with them, the vibe is dead and the door is closed permanently.

zebekias · 2024-08-27T12:23:10+00:00

LJBF = I’m not attracted

Study game, practice, don’t play safe

Westernation · 2024-08-27T18:44:41+00:00

Women are hardwired to be constantly evaluating the benefit the men around them offer. And ruthless about removing the ones who don’t bring enough. They’re built to have children, after all.

Simply put, OP? She didn’t think you were worth it. Not physically attractive enough, or offering enough money/stability for her to devote her time and energy.

However, you’ll notice they always want to be ‘friends’.

This means they’re perfectly willing to let you give them emotional support, ego boosts, even money and favors - without having to do girlfriend things in return.

From what you’ve written, it seems like you’ve let girls know right up front what you’re after ie a relationship. That’s a good thing - it makes them have to give you an answer and not just string you along with some ‘maybe’ breadcrumbs. And you’re willing to just cut them out of your life. That’s the best route you can take.

You need to curate the ones you let into your life more. We tell that to girls all the time, but never to boys. So we as guys never seem to get that much needed life coaching.

Next - work on you.

DO get in shape. Dress well. Cultivate your own education and interests. Do what you can to grow your wealth. Maybe even get some therapy so you can handle life’s hurdles.

And NEVER let a girl who won’t have you as her boyfriend steal the time and energy you could devote to finding one who will. You may be lonely at times, but the self respect you’ll gain is well worth it.

Good luck, OP. I’m sending you all the good karma I can. And I suspect a lot of the guys here are as well.

Shadow__Account · 2024-08-27T13:45:15+00:00

Keep a bit more distance don’t be too available from the start, challenge them, screen them, disagree when you do. Show that you are not afraid to lose them if you are not compatible, show you have standards.

Don’t be needy. What you can do is date multiple women at the same time, it will make you less needy. The downside will be that as these girls do to you now, you’ll always feel like there is something better around the corner. But perhaps that is a problem for future you.

In general take a step back, let them come to you more. Let them initiate and if they don’t it just shows that they weren’t that much into you and you know what trajectory that will take. So display your personality and filter for girls that are really into you

Ofcourse you can and should work on things, but it won’t change much about girls either being very into you or not.

yourcousinrafa · 2024-08-27T13:01:18+00:00

She's giving you a little test to figure you out a bit.. my guess is you're not getting an A here. Guys, please have a sense of humour, be charming, be playful. There's a million things you could say and it really doesn't matter what you say... What matters is HOW you say it. If she says "just be friends" you say "of course!" we're just friends... we're friends who kiss and hold hands..etc..just be playful. My advice to you is laugh at yourself and learn to detach yourself from what people say in words.. most people are awkward, shy, fearful..etc So don't put much weight on the words and learn to play with words to your advantage.... Understand everyone is as scared and as shy and awkward as you are.. my guess is you and your friends are teenager and at she's still figuring things out just like you... so give them a break, don't judge whatever they say right away because it's probably not what they really mean... Go out there and have fun

yeahyeahitsmeshhh · 2024-08-27T13:51:56+00:00

Remember that women are just like you but inhabit a different world. Casual sex is readily available but often disappointing. Romantic partners can quickly turn dangerous.

You want to know what "Let's Just Be Friends" means? Well, have you ever actually hung out with them afterwards as friends?

No.

It means "I want to reject you but have found/been told this is a safe way to do it."

She's giving you a sliver of hope so you don't behave like a dickhead there and then. She doesn't want you to feel you have nothing to learn.

In fairness to her, she will have been sexually assaulted and threatened by multiple men and watched them transform from seemingly sweet to terrifying in a moment.

It's "I can't, I'm washing my hair" applied to breaking up. The hope is that you are either too clueless or too decent to do anything other than say "of course" and leave her life.

Which is what you should do; onto the next.

The question you should be asking is why do so many dates end in rejection rather than passion?

You are boring or repelling women who were hopeful about you once.

SuperPoop · 2024-08-27T13:54:26+00:00

are you too available? are you too bland? are you a people pleaser? have you read 'no more mr. nice guy' by glover?

one of my friends gets this a lot. i cannot speak for you, but in his case, he has no edge and is very aloof and carefree. have opinions and convictions. have passion. show passion when you speak.

are you too available? do you get one-itis too quickly? look up cat-string theory.

Worried-One2399 · 2024-08-27T22:22:40+00:00

U need to be vulnerable, bcz @ the end of the day. The spotlight should be on HER. Not u,

Stay disciplined, don’t talk too much, your answers should b as vague as possible! The more vague the more her mind will aimlessly try to read/think wat u meant.

Tease, vague answers, initiate light touch. Show her YOU R CONFIDENT & u can/WILL take the lead!! Woman love a man who knows wat HE wants.

I used 2 b in your position, only way 2 get better is 2 just KEEP dating. PUSH yourself, tell yourself “if I don’t do this I’m a puss”

I said discipline earlier… taking leaps of faith comes from discipline my guy. Read her, if she’s not into it back off give her some space. Then when u feel like she’s more comfortable. Go back to where u were. Keep being persistent. Not creepy persistent, but playfully persistent. Banter, misinterpret wat she says.

Go to EXTREMES…. And call her out!! Dude woman will fall over u if u can pull off the above. Like I said YOU GOT THIS!!!

shinn497 · 2024-08-27T12:18:14+00:00

Your problem is that you actually care about this. You should have a pipeline of women available to you so that's when this happens you can easily switch to another.

MeteoraRed · 2024-08-27T13:30:27+00:00

Maybe you lack the game to escalate enough, maybe you just give platonic vibes.

endoar · 2024-08-27T14:56:00+00:00

The lack of interest in you.

Study game and keep in mind that "The wall is undefeated".

Westernleaning · 2024-08-27T21:44:10+00:00

The obvious question is how was the sex if you're hearing LJBF AFTER sex? LJBF is usually the comment BEFORE sex.

DarkFite · 2024-08-27T14:49:19+00:00

Several girls have told me that they genuinely wanted to remain friends because they liked me but didn’t see a romantic connection developing. In most cases, this happened because I didn't take the initiative to escalate things or express romantic interest. As a result, what began as a potential romantic vibe gradually shifted into a purely friendly one.

Independent-Cable937 · 2024-08-27T12:31:32+00:00

Not enough context.

Anything could have happened that turned off the girl. I recently slept with a girl but she gave me so much attitude and was very argumentive after. I told her its best we stay friends (she exploded at me, because she didn't understand why?)

It depends on how the other person acts

norwegiandoggo · 2024-08-27T11:52:42+00:00

Let me ask you this: are you mentally stronger and more socially capable than these women?

jackzander · 2024-08-27T14:03:57+00:00

Mention that you'd like to settle down eventually, but you'll be leaving the country pretty often to see the rest of the world. Then mention your upcoming trip to backpack around Thailand and Vietnam this fall. You hear the food is amazing.

To really sell this scheme, book a plane ticket and go backpack around Thailand and Vietnam.

glemiwel · 2024-08-28T07:33:11+00:00

I think at the end of the day you shouldn't force yourself to become someone else just for the sake of being in a relationship. What matters more is both parties being able to vibe well, and for that to last a lifetime. Rather than thinking about hunting a deer, what you should look out for is a best friend. Some people enjoy being soft physically. Nothing wrong in that. Since you've a healthy lifestyle and can take care of yourself, just take it chill and slowly find your partner. It's not that you have no game, it's just maybe you haven't find her yet 🤙

Zealousideal-Shoe998 · 2024-08-28T10:56:30+00:00

" ...after having sex twice.." . . Seriously?? I mean....just how? These girls just don't make any sense to me (26M)😭

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-08-27T12:23:53+00:00

Impossible to know without the whole context.

za-care · 2024-08-27T22:03:15+00:00

Being boring. Have good vibe == I feel good with you.

VapeGodPP · 2024-08-28T02:26:50+00:00

Go no contact

TheLonelyPrincess741 · 2024-08-28T08:34:17+00:00

I’m just not into you like that (probably aren’t attracted to you). All the other comments are grasping at straws tbh. If i want to be with someone I will never say “lets be friends”.

Mariafv123 · 2024-08-27T21:09:51+00:00

Damn u really a bunch of weirdos, no offense

Title	What causes girls to not want romantic ties and "just stay friends"?
Author	all4season
Upvotes	71
Comments	73
Date	August 27, 2024 10:52 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1f2e1me/what_causes_girls_to_not_want_romantic_ties_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-causes-girls-to-not-want-romantic-ties-and.1528542 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528542

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